Alibis
by Zephyr Hearts
Summary: Waiting for change to lead him down a more innocent path, death obsessed Elijah Goldsworthy finds it in a blue eyed beauty, but perhaps with an even darker past than his own. /Darkfic: AU/
1. a chance encounter

Disclaimer: I do believe I've mentioned that I don't own Degrassi. I do own a pair of extra high converse, a flat iron, hair spray, a tooth brush, and other girl accessories, Degrassi is not mine…

A/N: Funny how I got the idea for this story, I was watching a chick flick and this idea popped up. I'm not really sure where this story is going to go. I might make it just a five shot, maybe a four shot, I'm really not sure. This story is going to be a horror, mystery, and romance. Since I can't put all three genre's it's, of course, a horror romance. Um, what else to say… the characters might be a little bit OOC, but just a little bit… maybe… I don't know, but the point I'm trying to make is, I told you, so you can't bitch and complain. If you end up whining in a review, I swear the God that I don't believe in that I will call you out in a PM.

Um, warnings… hm… warnings for this story: sexual themes, language, anorexia, bulimia, cutting, blood, etc. I really have no idea why I even bothered in telling you guys, you know what to expect when you read my stories :D Anyway, reviews means I will proceed to update, so don't forget to click the review button once you're done reading! Reviews are great, a review equals updates, and reviews tell me you're interested in this story! :D Oh, and another warning, judging from the story Lust for Blood, my horror writing SUCKS, so please don't remind me -_-;

Enjoy!

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Alibis

Summary: Waiting for change to lead him down a more innocent path, death obsessed Elijah Goldsworthy finds it in a blue eyed beauty, but perhaps with an even darker past than his own.

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CHAPTER 1

A blue Honda Civic parked in front of my house.

I looked up from my sink, the water from the faucet still going. It was parked in front of the house that was opposite of mine, a dark brick red house, with a small white picket fence, surrounded with a different variety of wild flowers. A man and a woman climbed out of the car, staring at the house in complete awe.

I narrowed my eyes at them. Just great, more cheery neighbors. This is exactly what I need. This town was full of goody-two-shoes, and having three more moves into the town would just pollute the area more.

I watched as the man and woman glanced around the house from their spot, turning their heads to glance around the neighborhood. I stared at them for a little while, and my gaze swiftly averted to the car door as a girl about my age stepped out of the car; she walked around, standing against the bumper of the car. I subconsciously licked my bottom lip, wondering if she was single, eyeballing her physical appearance. I found her curly hair to be a pleasing look, her pale skin looked creamy and soft.

I nearly dropped the plate I was washing when her gaze landed on mine, and I felt my face immediately flush pink. I picked up the plate and looked down, just as she turned around and walked up to her parents. I sighed a heavily, and turned the faucet off, placing the dish I was washing into the other sink, and then dried my hands with the dishrag.

"Oh, it looks like we have new neighbors."

I turned around, eyeing my mother. She smiled brightly, and said, "Why don't you go out and say hello?" I hesitantly chewed on the inside of my bottom lip, and turned back around, staring at the small family, my eyes were mainly focused on the girl with curly hair, who was now accompanied by another girl, with long chocolate brown hair. Might be her sister I'm guessing. I sighed in defeat. They've already spotted me, so I might as well just say hi for a few minutes.

Stepping out the front door into the bright sun, I slowly walked down my cobblestone side walk, and headed towards the parked U-Haul across the road. The sun was so damn bright, that I had to hold my hand up to shield my sensitive eyes, I couldn't help but let out another frustrated sigh as I got near them.

"Hi there." I said softly, but it was clearly loud enough for the curly haired girl to hear. She had greeted me with a small highly noticeable smile. I finally caught a glimpse of her eyes, and they were the most gorgeous blue eyes that I had ever lay eyes on. They immediately lit up as she made her way over to me. I had to fight the blush that was threatening to creep up to my face.

"Hello there." She chirped; a cute smile adorned her gorgeous face. God, she was beautiful up close. I smiled a little when she looked to the ground, her teeth started to pull on her bottom lip. Do I make her nervous? She cleared her throat and before she could say anything, I said, "I'm Eli Goldsworthy."

She smiled. I don't know what it is, but… something about this girl made me nervous. I couldn't concentrate around her. I took in a small breath to steady myself, as I watched her lips move, she was speaking but since I was so lost in my thoughts, I didn't catch a word that she was saying.

"I'm sorry what?" I asked.

She frowned, but that didn't stop her to repeat what she said.

"I said, nice name," And she smiled in approval. I couldn't get enough of her smile; hell I don't think I could get sick of it. I held out my hand and she took it. Now just tell me your name, and we will be even. We shook hands while she asked, "Have you lived here long?"

I shrugged my shoulders nonchalantly, responding after we let go of our hands, "I've lived here a few years."

Her smile grew even wider.

"Really? So that means you know the area, is it as dull and quiet as everyone puts it out to be?" She asked. My eyes began to wander again, I looked behind her, eyeing the girl with long hair, who was speaking to her parents, and occasionally looking in my direction. I tried my hardest not to laugh, knowing all too well that she was watching me like a hawk. Her father turned around, and his eyes narrowed at me, glaring at me.

I grimaced.

Relax… just relax Eli…

"Oh, pardon my manners; I haven't even properly introduced myself."

My eyes shot towards hers, and I smiled a little. I asked, "Okay what is it Blue Eyes?" Her face instantly turned pink, and she stammered, "Cl—

"Clare! Who is your new friend?"

I was taken aback, eyeing the girl who was standing next to her, her arms crossed over her chest. I smiled sheepishly and the auburn curly haired girl turned to her saying, "Darcy this is Eli, Eli this is my sister Darcy." Said girl arched her eyebrow as she stared me up and down. Darcy grimaced. Damn, was I really that hideous? Darcy said, "Well nice to meet you, but Clare has to come with me now. Mom and Dad want us to go inside the house." Darcy directed the last bit of her sentence to Clare.

I watched as her face dropped.

"U-um, okay… I'll see you around?" Clare asked.

I smirked, watching her eyes drift to the ground. I cleared my throat a little, and she blinked up at me in slight surprise. I said, "I live across the street, you won't be seeing me around as much, since I'm always inside, but if you ever need anything, just shout." Before she could respond, I turned around and headed back into my house. I heard her sister and herself whisper amongst each other.

"He seems a little weird doesn't he?"

"Weird? No… he's actually really nice."

"Yeah, you say that now, wait until you actually get to know him."

"Darcy why are you always so judgmental?"

The small conversation died as I walked into the front door, slamming it behind me. I leaned against it, and my mom walked around from the kitchen, holding a dirty rag in her hands. She blinked a few times, cocking her head to the side.

She said, "You're back already? You haven't even been gone for… thirty minutes." I swallowed hard, and walked away from the door, heading towards the back of my oversized one story house, and towards my room. I walked inside, and slowly shut it behind me. I leaned against the door, eyeing the wall in front of me. Sighing heavily, I bowed my head. My bangs covered my eyes, and I couldn't help but start to laugh.

"Why do I even bother," I laughed again as Clare popped into my head, her face, blue eyes, curly hair, smooth creamy skin. I continued talking to myself, "She's way out of my league. There's no way in hell she would go for a guy like me." I shook my head and made my way to my window, peeking through the blinds. A large moving van blocked my view from the house, but I could clearly see legs moving from behind the truck, and then I saw her again.

I licked my lips.

God… could I be any more _creepy_. I felt like a pedophile who was eyeing a small boy. She moved around the truck, grabbing something from the back of the car she climbed out of earlier. Clare turned around and she held a thick book in hand, and then made her way to the house, disappearing behind the large truck.

I moved away from the window, and walked backwards, I sat down on my bed once the back of my knees hit the mattress. I stared blankly at the floor and sighed heavily once again.

Just as I was convincing myself that this summer was going to suck major hell, I smirked, knowing all too well that I was kidding myself. This summer, was going to be very, very interesting.

End of Chapter 1

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So? What do you think? Is it worth adding another chapter? Let me know :D Reviews are really great!

Good bye for now!


	2. distruction

Disclaimer: Degrassi is something I don't own, sadly…

A/N: SORRY FOR THE LONG WAIT! Wow, I didn't think you guys would like this story so much! I was really skeptical about posting it, but seeing as I had over thirty reviews for the first chapter, I might as well post again. I got a PM, and I would like to answer another question, yes, this story is going to be dark. Once again, there is going to be mystery involved in this story, lots of blood-shed, etc. Anyway, enough with my ranting, here's chapter 2!

Oh and before I forget, thanks to Soon Enough, this person gave me some constructive critique, which I enjoyed so MUCH! I thank you! Since your review, I had actually went back and looked through this chapter and made sure there weren't any mistakes and stuff in it. Thank you so much again! Anyway sorry, here's chapter 2!

Enjoy!

Beta-reader: _cky297_

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Alibis

Summary: Waiting for change to lead him down a more innocent path, death obsessed Elijah Goldsworthy finds it in a blue eyed beauty, but perhaps with an even darker past than his own.

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CHAPTER 2

The morning had flown by quicker than I wanted it to. I lay in bed, wincing as the sun tried in complete vain to light up my dark room. It was obviously failing, seeing as I had my blinds tightly closed, and my black curtains closed over them. I turned to my side, hiding my face from the world as I pulled the covers above my head. Just as I was about to fall asleep, the door to my room was slammed open.

"Elijah, get your lazy ass up, and start mowing the lawn. The grass isn't going to cut itself, you know." My dad's grungy voice said. I groaned, and sat up saying, while I scratched my head, "Then why don't you do it?"

"I have better things to do. Get up, get dressed and get busy!" My dad walked out of my room, slamming the door behind me. I sighed and my eyes shot to the window when I heard giggling and laughing, and some music playing. I kicked the sheets off of my body and slowly made my way to my window. I lifted the blinds, slightly peeking through them.

Across the road was Clare and her sister Darcy, lying out on a beach towel in the driveway. I shifted a little, eying Clare as she poured some lotion in her palms, and rubbed the sun tan lotion over her chest, her arms, and legs. Once again, I felt like a fucking pedophile. I licked my lips and watched as she flipped over to her back.

I moved away from the window and made my way to the dresser, where I reached into my drawers and grabbed my tattered, ripped-up and faded baggy pants. I removed my pajama pants and slipped those on, and then I pulled a black wife beater over my head. I opened the door to my room, and lazily walked out.

"Good morning Eli." Mom greeted me, as she flipped through the channels on the TV. I smiled faintly at her and she asked, "What are you doing up this early?"

"Mom it's almost three." I responded. She laughed and said, "You're normally out of your room around five in the afternoon. Is something wrong?" I shook my head and said, "Dad woke me up." I walked out the front door, and headed around to the side of the house. I opened the red painted shed and walked inside, pushing the lawn mower out. I was now standing in front of the house, trying to crank up this piece of shit lawn mower. Once I got it out of its dead stage, I started to cut the grass.

…

…

It literally took me almost an hour to do the front lawn; I turned the lawn mower off, removed my shirt, and out walked my mom, holding a glass full of lemonade. I thanked her as I took the glass. From the corner of my eye, I noticed that Clare and her sister had left, gathering the beach towels and heading inside. I frowned and my mom said, "You can do the back of the house later." I nodded and handed her the glass.

She walked inside, and I pushed the lawn mower towards the back of the house. Sighing heavily, I grabbed my shirt and wiped the sweat off of my face, then placed the shirt over my shoulder, heading towards the front door. Before I entered the house, I glanced back, and swallowed hard, watching Clare's father climb into the parked car in the driveway, turn it on, and drive out. Just as he made the turn to drive down the road, he glanced at me, and narrowed his eyes.

I pinned my eyebrows together and muttered something inaudible under my breath, then turned to walk inside the house. I lazily made my way to the kitchen and stared out the window. Out walked Clare from the front door. She looked distraught, afraid… She was crying. I narrowed my eyes and watched as she sat down at the end of the driveway, pulling her knees up to her chest. I wanted to go outside, see what was wrong with her, but that would only lead into bad things.

"You know if you keep staring at her like that, you might just burn holes in her skin." My mom whispered. I softly craned my neck to look back at her, while muttering a "huh" under my breath. I swallowed the lump that had randomly started growing in my throat and headed back to my room to take a shower. I reeked of sweat and dirt, and there was no way in hell I was going to sit around the house smelling like this. As I drug my feet across the floor, making my way to the dresser, I pulled the drawer open and grabbed a t-shirt,a pair of loose basketball shorts, and some boxers.

After standing in the shower for what seemed like three hours, I had eventually stepped out, and am now standing in front of the mirror, staring at my body. I leaned forward and stared straight into my green eyes, which seemed to look rather lifeless at the moment. I licked my suddenly dry lips and pulled my clothes on. As I opened the door to the bathroom, I was instantly standing in a dark room. My eyes shot towards the digital clock sitting on my night stand.

"Six-thirty." I muttered.

I exited through the door, and walked down the dark hallway, and entered the living room, which the only thing that was on was the TV. My mom was lying on the couch, crying silently. I guess she was watching a chick flick. I quietly made my way into the kitchen and grabbed a soda from the fridge. I opened it and took a sip from it.

"Eli, is that you in the kitchen?"

"Yeah." I responded lowly. I walked into the living room, and my mom sat up, wiping her tears away with her palm. She smiled faintly at me and I pressed my lips to a line. I turned the balls of my feet and headed back to my room. Not bothering to turn the light on, I walked to my bed, placing the can on the nightstand. I lay back on my bed and sighed heavily, running my fingers through my hair.

I stared blankly at the ceiling, and my eyes slowly drifted shut, soon being submerged into a bunch of swirls and colors behind my eyelids.

…

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…

_It's been exactly two days since I actually had a conversation with Clare. The only encounter that we had was basically eye contact. She always seems to be really hesitant when she and I would look at each other. Clare would glance back at her house, and then look back at me, then hesitantly wave. When I would wave back, her father would walk out the front door, and start screaming at her._

She'd run inside by then.

_I've been watching her…_

_Every afternoon at 12:30, she would go out for a walk with her sister. She would come back around 2:35, depending on how far she goes; sometimes she'd come back at around 3:00 sharp. After that she would go upstairs to her room, which I have a clear view of. She would sneak out, and sit on the roof; just sit there. Around five to six, she would sit on the front lawn and read._

_For the rest of the day, she would just stay inside._

_Clare is one odd individual. She's quiet; she looks down and bites her bottom lip when she's nervous. She seems to be the insecure type. Clare… For some reason I have never wanted someone so much. She's so—_

**_BARK!_**

**_BARK!_**

I glanced up from my notebook, eyeing the window. I averted my gaze from the window to the digital alarm clock, reading the time. It's a little bit passed three in the morning. I sighed in frustration and rubbed my temples. I got up from my bed and headed to the window, pushing the black curtains, and lifting the blinds, finding a miniature Chihuahua barking and jumping up and down under the tree in my front lawn. I narrowed my eyes. This damn dog just interrupted my time. I rolled my eyes, and looked up, realizing there is a cat in the tree. Really? I walked to sit on my bed, and clenched the pen in my hand.

**_BARK! _**

**_BARK!_**

I growled, and stormed back to the window, opening it. I screamed, "Shut up!" The dog looked in my direction, and started to bark at me. My eyes narrowed yet again. I breathed heavily through my nose, and swiftly turned around.

Moments later, I had exited through the front door, after slowly and quietly walking down the hallway. I softly closed the front door behind me, and walked around to the side of the house, heading towards the shed. I opened it, and pulled on the small chain, clicking the overhead light on. My tired green eyes looked around, and I craned my head back, listening to the stupid damn dog yapping at a cat, which was hissing. Its hair stood up in a mohawk.

I turned back, and cringed when the barking somehow grew louder. I reached up, grabbing the hammer hanging on the wall. I walked out of the shed, leaving the light on, and walked quickly in the direction where the dog is. Its large eyes noticed me making my way to it, and the barking died down. It stared up at me, smelled my leg, and then started barking again.

My lip twitched, and I reached down, and grabbed it by the collar, lifting it up. It whined, and started squirming. I turned around, and headed back to the shed. Once I was inside, I placed the dog down, and it started to bark at me, biting and pulling on my pajama pant leg. I breathed heavily, and stared down at it, before I jerked my leg back, and my foot crashed into the dog, flying back and hitting the wall hard. It yelped and I smirked a little. It staggered up to its feet and surprisingly charged at me.

Out of instinct, I slammed the hammer down, hitting its body. Blood splattered everywhere; on my face, arms, clothes. My lips curled up as I continued to beat the dog mercilessly with the hammer, listening to it whine and yelp in pain.

I breathed heavily and stood up, the hammer dropping from my hand. I stared out the window with an emotionless look in my eyes. I passed my tongue along my bottom lip, tasting a bit of blood. The faint reflection in the mirror stared back at me, and I reached up and wiped the blood off of my face. I slowly looked down, and eyed the broken, bloody dog lying lifeless on the floor of the shed.

I swallowed hard and bent down to pick it up, blood dripping from its paws, and the tip of its nose. I moved across the shed, grabbed a large black garbage bag, and tossed the dog inside.

"Stupid animals…" I muttered. Quietly, I threw the dog into the large blue trash bin on the side of the road, and then walked inside to take a shower. I'll clean the hammer and shed afterward.

didn't bother in pealing my pajama pants off. I let the hot water run, rinsing the still wet blood of of my body, turning the water a nice shade of pink. I bowed my head, and was soon soaked with the water. I sighed and watched the blood get rinsed off of my pants.

I stepped out once I was clean, and removed my pants and boxers. I turned the light off, and headed to my room. I rummaged through my drawers and slipped on another pair of pajama pants, and then walked outside to clean the shed, which only took me thirty minutes. I walked back inside the house, and crashed on my bed once I entered my room.

…

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…

…

_"Good morning Eli!"_

_"Morning Clare."_

_"Um, c-can I ask you something?"_

_"Sure."_

_"Have you seen my dog? He's a Chihuahua."_

End of Chapter 2

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Okay I know there's mistakes in this story, so please don't point them out to me. I tried to fix it while I was going through and reading over it after my beta sent it back, and well... Fan fiction was fucking up every single time. So review? I do apologize for the long wait, really I do.

Goodbye for now!


	3. at heart

Disclaimer: Degrassi is something I don't own, sadly…

A/N: So, ha ha pretty creepy isn't it? Having Eli beat the ever living shit out of a dog… I told you this story is going to be very horrific X3 I don't know what it is, but I love writing horror. It's awesome… I'm such a freak… Anyway, here's chapter three. I loved reading your reviews, they were great!

Oh and let me answer some questions, Eli and Clare are not the same age in this story, but he IS NOT a pedophile ha ha I kind of laughed when I read that, you guys are totally hilarious for thinking that. I have a sick mind, but I'm not THAT sick minded. Anyway Eli is 17 in this story, and Clare is 16. You will read in this chapter a little bit of her dark life, and as much as I hate doing this, there will be alternating POV's in this chapter.

Enjoy!

Beta-reader: _cky297_

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Alibis

Summary: Waiting for change to lead him down a more innocent path, death obsessed Elijah Goldsworthy finds it in a blue eyed beauty, but perhaps with an even darker past than his own.

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CHAPTER 3

I sat in my room, in the dark corners, rocking back and forth…

I was scared. I just killed Clare's dog, and I didn't even know she had a dog. I clenched my hair in my hands and muttered incoherent words under my breath. I didn't even get the chance to notice that my mom had walked in the room. She said, "Eli, you have a visitor." I slowly lifted my head, and my heart came to a complete stop. I couldn't breathe, couldn't think; all I could do was just sit there and stare. The light switched flicked on, and I winced, hiding my head in my knees.

"Eli, Clare is here to see you. I'll leave you two alone." Mom left, leaving an awkward Clare sitting on my bed, and me still sitting in the corner of my room. She cleared her throat nervously. I lifted my head and looked at her through my bangs.

"What do you want?" I asked coldly.

"You—well you kind of left this morning in a hurry after I asked about my dog. And it's almost two, I was…just coming to see how you were." Clare tucked her hair behind her ear and I slowly got up, walking to my bed at an ever slower pace. I sat far away from her, and muttered, "I'm fine… Now get out."

"But—

"Leave Clare… Just go, please." I said. She frowned and got up from my bed, practically storming out of my room. I heard her have some small talk with my mom, saying she'll talk later or something like that. When the front door slammed shut, I got up and walked to my window, peaking through the blinds. I watched Clare cross the road, and I pinned my eyebrows together. Her father stormed out of the house, and started screaming at her. I frowned.

Clare walked into the house after her dad just smacked the back of her head. She ran up the stairs. I watched for her to go inside her room. She did, throwing her body onto her bed, burying her head into her pillow. I moved away from the window, and went to sit down on my bed. I swallowed hard, and brought my hand up, raking my fingers through my hair.

"Clare left in such a hurry, would you mind telling me what happened?"

"I told her to leave." I responded to my mother as she walked into my room.

"Why?"

"Because… I want to be alone, that includes you, get out." I whispered harshly. My mom crossed her arms across her chest and she said, "Elijah Goldsworthy, don't use that tone of voice with me." I turned and glared at her, got up and shouted, "Get out!" She flinched, startled. Mom quickly turned around and shut the door behind her. I started to pace my room, whispering to myself.

…

…

…

…

"Clare! Open this door!"

"Go away!" I shouted through heavy sobbing. The banging on my door increased and I flinched and curled up under my computer desk, whispering and wishing for my dad to go away. I clenched my hair in my hands, and whimpered. I heard Darcy's voice, and my head lifted up; the banging on the door stopped, and I heard my dad's heavy footsteps stomp down the stairs. I crawled out from underneath the desk, and quickly got up to answer the door.

Darcy stepped inside, and I wrapped my arms around her waist. Darcy rubbed the back of my head and whispered, "Clare what were you thinking?"

I tore away from her and sat down on my bed. I said, "I just… I just wanted to see if he was okay… He left quickly and never came back outside…" Tears poured down my cheeks, leaving streaks of black make-up. Darcy joined me on the bed and she placed a hand over mine.

"You know you're not allowed to leave the house, unless you have someone with you."

I licked my bottom lip and sniffled, reaching up and wiping the tears from my eyes. "I know but—

"But nothing Clare." Darcy said harshly. I lowered my gaze, glancing up at her occasionally through my wet thick lashes. Darcy sighed heavily and she got up, pacing my room. She glanced out my window and said, "You're going to have to stay up here for the rest of the day. I'll bring you something to eat later." I pinned my eyebrows together and protested, "What! No, I don't want to be up here for the rest of the day!" Darcy turned to me, shrugging her shoulders nonchalantly.

I watched her leave as I shouted, "Darcy please!" I got up, and just as I stood in front of the door, Darcy slammed it shut. I heard her lock it with the key that I didn't know she was carrying. I slammed my hands on the door and screamed, "Darcy please! Don't make me sit in here all day!" I continued to bang against the door and I heard my father scream, "Clare Dianne Edwards, stop acting like a child!" I soon stopped and slumped against the door.

I moved away from the door, and walked lazily to the window, and glanced through the blinds. I noticed that Eli was doing something at the side of his house. It looked like he was burying something. I shrugged it off and walked to my bathroom to take a long hot bath. I needed to calm down. I slowly pealed my clothes off, and was soon standing naked in front of the mirror. My eyes shifted up and down. I walked to the tub and pulled the light blue shower curtain open.I turned the knob up and towards the left, letting hot water fall from the large faucet.

I reached down, feeling the water, making sure it was scolding hot; just how I liked it. I covered the drain, and soon the tub started to fill up. I walked to the small window in my bathroom, and opened it, so the steam would exit through there. I didn't have a vent, which was kind of stupid, in my opinion.

The tub had filled up halfway. I turned off the water, and stepped inside, hissing a little as the hot water touched my toes. Soon enough, I was lying down in the tub, the water covering my body up to my neck. I sighed heavily and sunk deeper into the tub, letting the water soon cover my entire body. I looked up at the ceiling, through the water. I closed my eyes, lying in the tub. After sitting under the water for exactly two minutes, I surfaced for air; my hair clung to my neck, cheeks, and forehead. I reached up and raked my fingers through my hair, pushing my bangs back.

I lifted my arm and licked the corner of my mouth, passing my fingers over the deep, light purple and red cuts that cris-crossed over my wrists, and going up to the middle of my arm. I frowned and clenched my jaw. I placed my arm under the water and glanced up at the faucet, which dripped small water droplets.

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…

…

…

"Eli, Eli, are you okay in there? You've been in the bathroom for almost an hour."

"I'm fine..." I responded softly. I sat in the middle of the bathroom, eying the wall. I was staring at the wall for more than thirty minutes, and if I moved my gaze elsewhere, I would see a various amount of florescent colors. My heart raced in my chest, and I slowly inhaled and exhaled. I licked my suddenly dry lips and brought my arm up to my face, and smiled a little, watching the thick dark red blood gush out of the deep cut on my wrist.

I smiled again, only a bit wider and laid my arm down on the tiled floor, which had a puddle of blood forming next to my legs.

"Eli, open this door!"

"Go away!" I managed to shout, seeing as I had a slowly blackening vision. I got up and toppled over; my hand reached out and grabbed the counter, as I tried to steady myself. I stood upright and grabbed the small towel that hung on the small bar next to the mirror. I wrapped it around my wrist, and held on to it tightly, creating pressure in attempt to stop the bleeding. I slumped against the wall and breathed heavily.

The lump in my throat began to grow and it became hard for me to breath. I took in sharp breaths, and my head bowed, as I clenched my shirt; my chest became unbelievably tight and I breathed heavily, gasping for air. As I got up weakly on my knees, my mom's voice was heard behind the door telling me to open the door. I wheezed, "Mom, go away… please."

"Eli? Eli open this door now!" She jiggled the handle and I toppled over the side, the towel unraveled from my wrist and, through a blurred vision, I watched as a small amount of blood continued to seep through the cut; I had managed to make it stop bleeding a little. My eyes drifted shut, and I sighed mentally, hearing the screaming from behind the door stop.

I guess my mom finally caught a hint. She knows I don't like to be disturbed when I'm in the bathroom, especially when I've been in there for a little over an hour. I didn't pass out, to my surprise. I only dozed off. I staggered up, getting up on my hands and knees. I pulled my pants on over my boxers and then pulled my long sleeved shirt up over my head. I slipped my thumbs through the thumb holes I had created, and got up. My legs were wobbly, but I didn't care.

I flipped the light switch off, and exited the bathroom. I started to walk towards my room, but my name was called from the living room. Sighing in frustration, I turned around and headed in that direction, noticing that my parents were sitting in the living room, along with a man in a black suit. Great.

"Good evening Eli."

"…" I glared at the man in the suit, and my parents got up from the couch, leaving me alone with him. He said, "Take a seat, please." I didn't argue; I only did what I was asked to do. I sat down, and stared at his middle aged face. He smiled and said, "You do know what today is right?" I swallowed and slowly nodded.

"You're quiet today. Is there something you have on your mind?" He asked, while reaching into his leather suit case and pulling out a clip board with yellow line paper clipped underneath it. He flipped the previously written on pages over and clicked his pen. I shrugged my shoulders responding, "I don't have anything to say."

He frowned, glancing up. "You mother says that you were in the bathroom for a while, care to tell why?" I shook my head. "Why not?"

"Because it's not your business." I responded, bringing my legs up to my chest, and wrapping my arms around them. He frowned and sighed heavily, removing his glasses and rubbing his eyes. Mom had walked out of the kitchen and said, "Dr. West… Eli is… well he's not himself today. Can't we continue this session tomorrow?" I clenched my jaw when the cotton of my shirt rubbed against my cut. Dr. West sighed heavily, and he said, "Fine. I'll see you tomorrow." I watched him get up and leave. Mom walked him to the door and when she closed it behind him, she turned to me.

My dad stood in front of me and crossed his arms over his chest.

"What? Why are you looking at me like that?" I asked, glancing between them.

"Eli, let me see your arm." Mom said.

"Why?" I asked quickly.

"Because, it's obvious you're harming yourself again." Dad joined in.

"What makes you think that?" I asked.

"It's 88 degrees outside; it's too hot for you to be wearing long sleeves." Mom stated obviously. I got up muttering, "I don't need this." I stormed to my room and slammed the door shut behind me, and locked it. I walked to my window, and peaked through the blinds. I looked up to Clare's room, and noticed that she had just walked out of the bathroom, a towel wrapped around her hair, and a white fluffy robe was around her body.

She didn't seem to care about who was watching, because she removed the robe. I felt my face flush a bright pink color as she turned to the side. My lips parted a little and Clare closed the window.

I almost whined and moved away from the window. I lay down on my bed, crawling under the sheets as I grabbed my laptop and signed into my FaceRange account. I searched for a certain person, and clicked on his name once I realized that he was online.

Eli-gold48: Hey, can you come over?

I waited for the response and chewed on my bottom lip nervously. The little icon that indicated he was typing a response popped up and I sighed in relief.

Adam-Torres: Yeah, what time?

Eli-gold48: Now would be good.

Adam-Torres: Okay, see you later.

I logged out and placed my laptop next to me, and waited patiently for his arrival. I needed someone to talk to, badly, and Adam is a person I knew I could count on. Not my parents, not my stupid therapist, only Adam.

End of Chapter 3

* * *

My opinion, I didn't like this chapter much. Anyway you get to see Adam in the next chapter! Reviews? I love reviews! By the way, you're going to LOVE Adam in this story, I mean it, you're going to LOVE him.

Goodbye for now.


	4. meet one another

Disclaimer: Degrassi is something I don't own, sadly…

A/N: Uh, I feel bad for not warning you guys fully about this story. It is pretty dark, like really, REALLY dark. But um, anyway, thanks for the reviews! I can't believe this story has hit 100 reviews! I'm super excited about that; anyway, here you are chapter 4! Enjoy! Oh and just to answer a question that I had thought I answered, yes, this story is also rated M for sex, as in Eli and Clare are going to have sex, later on though.

Warnings: Again, this is a dark fic, it's going to have parental/animal abuse, rape, murder, and sexual themes. I will give you a heads up when there will be siting of these. If you have a weak stomach, please don't read this story. If your stomach is strong and what not, proceed with caution and enjoy!

Some of you guessed what's going on about this story, and most of you were pretty close, really close actually. Um, I really hope I don't get hated for this… really but um, Adam isn't transgendered in this story, he is a full blown guy. I know I shouldn't change around stuff like this, but I mean he's going to have the same attitude (sometimes) and well yeah, PLEASE DON'T HATE ME. Anyway, I know you're dying to read, so I'll leave you alone, ENJOY! Oh and I did mention that the characters are going to be OOC right? If I didn't, then now you know!

Beta-reader: _cky297_

* * *

Alibis

Summary: Waiting for change to lead him down a more innocent path, death obsessed Elijah Goldsworthy finds it in a blue eyed beauty, but perhaps with an even darker past than his own.

* * *

CHAPTER 4

I waited patiently for Adam to arrive. It shouldn't take him long because he only lived a few blocks away from me. I sat up from my bed, and glanced over at my window, and then back at my door. I got up, pushed the black curtains to the side, and then peaked through the blinds, staring straight to Clare's place. She was sitting out on the roof, her head buried in her knees. I chewed on my bottom lip, and opened the blinds.

That somehow got her attention and she looked up, lifting her head up from her knees. I hesitantly lifted my hand and waved at her. Clare did the same, and she shot her head to her window, and bolted back to her room. I frowned and closed my blinds. I walked back to my bed, and the second I sat down, I picked up my laptop and placed it on my lap. I signed back into my FaceRange account and clicked on the search bar, typing in Clare Edwards.

My face lit up when I had found her, good thing there was only one Clare Edwards. I sighed and sent her a friend request. I closed my laptop and walked to my door. I opened the door, peeking through the crack. I noticed that all of the lights were off. I guess my parents went to get something to eat. I opened the door all the way and walked out of my room. I headed to the kitchen and flipped the small light on.

I lifted my sleeve and checked out my wrists. There was dried blood around the cut and on my arm, and it was sure to be stained onto the inside of my sleeve. I turned the knob on the sink and let the water run, and then tore some paper towels and damped them. I swiftly turned around when I heard the front door open.

"Eli I'm home!"

I sighed in relief; my heart had presumed beating. I answered, "Adam, I'm in the kitchen." I wadded up the paper towel and tossed it in the trashcan, then covered my arm. He made his way to the kitchen and I glanced at him. He arched his eyebrow and asked, "What are you hiding?" I shook my head and his face dropped.

"Eli, what did you call me over here for?" Adam asked, raking his fingers through his long shaggy hair. I walked around him and headed towards the back, to my room. Adam followed behind me, as we entered my room. He flipped the light switch on and I sat down on my bed. Adam closed the door and he walked to sit on my bed.

"Okay, now spill. I know something's wrong." Adam said, crossing his legs while he rested his elbow on his knee and his head on his hand. I glanced up at him and chewed on my bottom lip. I had a lot to talk about: the dog, Clare, the bathroom incident, my therapist, and my parents. I sighed and brought my knees up to my chest and muttered, "Um, I have a new neighbor." Adam seemed to become interested because he lifted his head up. I looked away and whispered, "I killed her dog."

"I'm sorry what was that?" Adam asked. I lifted my head up and repeated what I said; only louder, "I killed her dog… I killed Clare's dog, and I didn't even know she had one! I bashed its skull in, blood was everywhere… Adam... I killed her dog." I clenched my head in my hands and Adam moved to me. He placed his hands on my shoulders and said, "Eli, you have to calm down, or you're going to have an anxiety attack."

I slowly lifted my gaze, staring up at him. I whimpered, "But I… I killed her dog, Adam."

"Does she know you killed her dog?" Adam asked me. I got up from my bed and started to pace my room. The thing that surprised me the most was that Adam didn't even freak out that I killed something. I stood in front of him and said, "No she doesn't know, but she asked me this morning if I have seen her dog. Adam, what if she finds out?" I started to panic. Adam got up and he demanded, "Sit your ass down. _Now_." I swallowed hard and slowly took a seat on my bed. Adam said, "Look, I know you're freaked out, Eli, but I mean, as long as Clare doesn't know, then your ass is safe." I nodded slowly. "Who's Clare by the way?"

I grabbed my laptop, and Adam took a seat next to me, while I logged into my FaceRange account. I had gotten an alert, telling me that I had new friends. I smiled when it was Clare who had accepted my friend request.

"That's little Miss Clare-bear?" Adam smirked.

"Adam… don't—

"Eli, she's yours. I won't touch her, I promise." Adam responded. I nodded slowly, as I received an IM from Clare. My heart stopped.

**Clare-e24: Hey, um, this is Eli right?**

"What do I say to her?" I asked, looking over at Adam. He blinked a few times and responded, "Dude, just answer yes it's me or something." I nodded and placed my fingers on the keyboard and quickly typed my response.

**Eli-gold48: Yeah, this is Eli.**

I waited for Clare to respond. Adam asked, "How long have you known her?" I was blankly staring at her picture on the screen, ignoring Adam's words. Adam shook my shoulder and I shot a glance to him.

"Huh?" I asked.

"How long have you known her?"

"Like almost a week; four days. Five, maybe." I responded.

**Clare-e24: I'm um… sorry about earlier…**

"What happened earlier?" Adam asked.

I swallowed hard and said, "She came over two hours after she asked me about her dog. Then I sort of kicked her out of my house. Then when she left, I looked out the window and her dad smacked the back of her head… I haven't seen her since." Adam blinked a few times and asked, "So she comes over to check on you, and you kick her out? What kind of sick move is that Eli?"

I frowned and nonchalantly shrugged my shoulders.

**Eli-gold48: It's not your fault… sorry for kicking you out the way I did.**

I pushed my laptop from my lap, seeing as it takes Clare a little over three minutes to respond. There was an awkward silence in my room, aside from the popping sound that Adam made with his lips. I asked, "Is it weird that I watch Clare?" The popping sound stopped. Adam looked over at me, and his eyebrow slowly arched up. He interjected, "Eli, it's been almost a week and you've already become a stalker!"

I frowned and looked away. "Clare makes me nervous… When we first lay eyes on each other, I almost dropped the dish I was cleaning. She's so… mysterious—

"As in more mysterious and psycho than you?" Adam interrupted. I clenched my fists.

**Clare-e24: Oh, it's okay… I um, have to go. I'll talk to you tomorrow, do you want to… maybe hang out?**

"Dude, she asked you to hang out." Adam said, pointing to the screen. I glanced down at it and my heart rate increased, and the hairs on the back of my neck and my arms slowly rose. I licked my lower lip and Adam said, "Say no." I shot a glance at him and he started to laugh and he added, "I was just kidding." I glanced down at the screen and placed my hands on the keyboard. Just as I started to type my response, Clare added something more.

**Clare-e24: It's okay if you don't want to… I mean, my sister would have to come with us anyway.**

**Eli-gold48: I do. It's okay I don't mind, um… since, well, you don't really know the area, I can take you to this café that's a few miles away from here.**

**Clare-e24: Yeah that's fine, bye!**

_Clare-e24 has signed out_

"Well," Adam started as he got up from my bed, "you have a date tomorrow. Let's pick you out something to wear." Adam walked to my closet and I watched him, and then averted my gaze to the window. He was too busy murmuring words under his breath as he searched through my black closet, sliding the pants on the hangers to one side, while pulling out a black t-shirt, and then hanging it back up. I got up and walked to the window, doing my usual routine and "checking on Clare". Okay, so I wasn't really checking on her, more like… watching her.

I lifted the blinds and noticed that her room light was on. Her parents were in her room, and it looked like they were screaming at her. Clare was on her bed, shaking her head, and she reached up and wiped her eyes. I moved away from my window, and looked over at Adam who held a pair of my best black skinny jeans, and a mid-sleeved black shirt, that buttons from the collar to the middle of my upper body.

"Dude, that's so creepy." He said, placing the clothes on the bed.

"Why are you choosing what I should wear? I'm not a little kid, Adam." I responded. Adam threw his hands up in defense and said, "Look, I'm just trying to help. If you don't need my help, I can leave." He turned around and started to walk away. I quickly said, "Don't leave, please!"

Adam turned around slowly, flipping his hair away from his face. He asked, "Do those clothes even fit you?" I shrugged my shoulders.

"Try them on." Adam grabbed them from my bed and handed them to me.

"But—

"No buts, get in there and try them on. I want to see when you're done, too. There are times you say something fits, and it looks smaller than a skirt on a school girl." I smiled a little, something that I hardly ever do. Adam was really the only person that can pull a smile from me; him and sometimes my mom. I walked into my bathroom and started to peal my clothes off, soon standing in front of the mirror in nothing but my boxers. I glanced down at my cut, which was red and swollen, and still slightly bleeding. I couldn't let Adam see this. He'd kill me.

"Hello Mrs. Goldsworthy, you're looking lovelier than ever." I heard Adam say.

"Hi Adam, where's Eli?"

"He's changing in the bathroom."

"Oh… well, we brought dinner, so, Eli, don't take too long, okay?"

"Y-yeah, okay." I responded as I pulled my skinny jeans on, which, of course, fit. Honestly, it's the shirt I'm worried about. I haven't worn this thing in like two years. I slipped it over my head and pulled my arms into the sleeves. It fit, surprisingly. I looked around, trying to find a thick wrist band of some kind. Adam shouted, "Eli hurry up!" I smiled when I found my thick black punk watch, and slipped it over my cut, hissing when I tightened it to make if fit.

I opened the bathroom and said, "Okay, they fit. Can I change?"

"Why are you wearing a watch? You weren't wearing it when we were talking." Adam said. I cleared my throat nervously and muttered, "So?"

"Eli, take it off." Adam got up from the bed. I shook my head, and he backed me up against the wall. He was close to me, standing a little bit too close. His chest was practically pressed up against mine. I sighed in defeat. Really, when it comes to Adam, there is no point in fighting. I lifted my wrist, and he took it, quickly tearing the watch from my wrist. I watched Adam's face, making sure it didn't change from worried to pissed off. He glanced up at me and dropped my wrist from his hands.

Adam softly asked, "Why did you do it?"

I shrugged my shoulders and looked down to the messy floor of my room. Adam's lip twitched. He slammed his hand on the wall, next to my head. I flinched and he hissed, "Eli, you said you would stop this." I started to walk to my bathroom, and he grabbed my shoulders, and shoved me up against the wall. His blue eyes stared straight into my soul, burning holes into my skin. I whispered, "I'm sorry. I just… I was freaking out about earlier… I didn't know what to do."

Adam pulled away from me, and he exited my room. I sighed and walked to the bathroom, removed my clothes, and then put on the clothes that I was previously wearing. I walked out of my room, flipping the light switch off. I walked down the hallway and sighed in relief, hearing Adam's voice. He didn't leave.

"Oh, Eli, it's about time you came out." Mom said. I took a seat next to Adam; he didn't even bother to look at me. My mom had already served me a plate of Chinese take-out and I started to pick at it with my fork. The table was quiet, aside from the silverware hitting the plates and teeth. I grabbed my glass and took a sip of my water. Adam placed his hand under the table, and he stroked his thumb over my hand. I smiled a little.

He removed his hand and I took a bite of my Chinese, then my mom broke the silence, asking, "So Adam are you staying the night again?"

He glanced over at me, and I gave him a highly noticeable shrug.

"Yeah, I'll just have to run home and get my stuff first." Mom nodded and she looked up at me. I pressed my lips to a line and she smiled back at me.

"You should keep an eye out for Eli… Little bastard is cutting his wrists again." Dad said. My green eyes glared daggers at him and he looked up from his plate. He questioned, "What?" Adam looked over at me and said, "It's fine. Eli won't be doing that again, right" I slowly averted my gaze from my dad's slightly angered face, to Adam's softer one. I nodded my head responding, "Yeah… I won't do it again, I promise."

"That's good Eli." Mom said.

"Don't make promises you can't keep, Elijah. Or did you forget about all those scars on your legs, arms, and stomach?" Dad cut in. I clenched my jaw and my fist at the same time. I got up, pushing my plate away from me.

"Eli!" Mom called out to me. I ignored her, of course.

"Do you always have to get him started?" I heard her say to my dad. Soon enough, she was following me to my room. I walked to the bathroom and shut the door behind me, slouching against it.

…

…

…

…

"Clare, are you decent?"

I looked up from my notebook and my eyes went to the door. I said, "Yeah." The door was unlocked and opened, and Darcy walked in, holding a plate with a slice of pizza on it. I smiled faintly. I was hungry and I haven't eaten all day, since Darcy decided to keep me upstairs. She sat on the edge of my bed and handed me the plate.

I took it and started to devour the pizza. It had only taken me probably two minutes to eat it. I handed the plate back and Darcy asked, "Would you like something to drink?" I nodded slowly and Darcy responded as she got up, "You can come downstairs now." I watched her leave, and then glanced down at my notebook. As I crawled off of my bed, I walked to my closet to throw on a long sleeved t-shirt. I headed to my door, and slowly walked down the stairs.

My dad and mom were in the living room, and I quickly walked behind them and headed to the kitchen. Darcy was standing in the corner, drinking a soda. She whispered, "Here." She handed me an unopened one and I gladly took it. I spun around and just as I made my way out of the kitchen, turning around the corner, I crashed into a body.

"Clare… what are you doing out of your room?"

"U-um… D-Darcy said I could come outside…" I stammered, not looking up at my dad. He forcefully grabbing my chin and tilted it up so I could face him. He said, "Go back to your room. I didn't say you can come out; Darcy doesn't have power over what you can and can't do. I do, now go upstairs." I nodded quickly and blazed around him, running up the stairs, and into my room. I closed it and sat on my bed, opening the can and practically chugging it down. I sighed and place the half empty can on my nightstand. I sniffled and looked towards my window. I got up and walked to it, looking outside. Across the road, I noticed someone was walking out of Eli's house, with Eli with them as well.

I figured it was his friend or something. Eli walked back inside, and I moved away from my window and headed to my bed, grabbing my laptop in the process. I signed into my FaceRange account and smiled, noticing that Eli was online. Since I was alone in my room, and since it is a little after six, nobody would be coming upstairs.

**Clare-e24: Hey**

I waited patiently for him to respond and I raked my fingers through my hair, removing the strands that covered my face. I smiled a little when I noticed the small icon indicating that someone was typing their response.

**Eli-gold48: Hey, you get to talk more now? Have you asked your parents about hanging out tomorrow? Do I need to talk to them?**

I couldn't help but giggle at his questions. But it soon died when I realized that I haven't even asked my parents about hanging out with him. I'm sure if I tell Darcy about it, she'll tell my parents. Normally when she asks, it's okay. But when I ask, it's a different story. I either get lectured about going out with boys, or I just get yelled at.

**Clare-e24: Um, I haven't asked yet… I'll talk to my sister about it. And you might need to talk to them. I don't know yet.**

I licked my bottom lip, and chewed on it. I blinked a few times, realizing that it takes Eli a good while to respond, not that I want to ask him what's going on or anything. Clearly, it's not any of my business, but I was still pretty curious. He started to type his response, but then stopped. About a minute later, he started to type his response again. My blue eyes grew wide, realizing how long the message was.

**Eli-gold48: Okay that's fine, well um… why can't you go by yourself? Wouldn't it be kind of weird to have your sister hanging around with us? I mean I don't mind it, it's just… she looks like she'd bite or something, and um… I know this might be a little off subject, but earlier when you were exiting my house, I saw your dad kind of… slap you, I mean I don't want to like… be a "bad influence" seeing as your dad looks like he already hates me.**

I chewed on the inside corner of my bottom lip, trying to figure out a way to answer to that. I didn't want to give everything away, because it's my problem. I don't like to tell people about stuff that doesn't really concern them. But something about Eli told me otherwise. I don't think he would go around and tell people. Then again, I don't know Eli, so I can't really start trusting him right off the bat.

**Clare-e24: It's complicated really, and don't worry about my dad… he doesn't like anybody lol.**

**Eli-gold48: Oh, okay.**

**Clare-e24: Yeah so um, what are we going to do tomorrow? Oh wait, we're going to a café, what is it called?**

**Eli-gold48: The Dot, it's really cool. Well um, my friend is here, talk tomorrow? If you want um… I can give you my number so you can call me… it's okay if you don't want it.**

My stomach began to flutter, and my heart rate picked up. I smiled a little and quickly started to type my response before Eli had to leave.

**Clare-e24: Yeah sure, um, when would you want me to call?**

**Eli-gold48: Anytime is fine, I'm always free. Here's my number – 931-405-3957  
**_  
Eli-gold48 has signed out._

I resisted the urge to squeal, and I grabbed my notebook and wrote his number down. I think I'll call him later. I logged out of my FaceRange account and placed my lap top next to me on the bed. I heard someone knocking on the door and I answered, "Yeah it's open." I checked to see who was walking in: Darcy.

"Why are you so happy?" Darcy asked, noticing the smile on my face. I quickly responded, "Eli asked me to hang out earlier, do you want to go? He said he was going to take us to a café called The Dot." Darcy thought about it and she said, "Yeah I think that'll be cool, you know, see what's around this place. I'll ask mom and dad later." I smiled and reached over and hugged her. She hugged me back and said, "Well, I just wanted to check on you. I'm going to ask them now." Darcy pulled away from me, and I watched her leave.

I looked down at my notebook, and picked it up, tracing my fingers over Eli's number.

"Mom, Dad." I heard Darcy.

I got up and walked to the end of the hallway, and sat at the top of the stairs.

"Yes Darcy?"

"Um, the boy from across the road invited Clare and I to go to a café called The Dot tomorrow. Can we go?"

"…"

I chewed on my bottom lip, and clenched my shorts.

"How long will you guys be out?"

YES!

"Probably just a few hours, two at the most."

"That's fine, make sure this boy doesn't do anything crazy with Clare… I see how he looks at her."

I blinked a few times and quickly walked back to my room and bounced on my bed. I heard footsteps and they became louder as Darcy made her way into my room. She stood in front of my bed and said, "They said yes. We'll be out for two hours." I smiled and gave her a curt nod. She left my room, patting my head and I lay back on my bed, staring at the ceiling. To be honest, I really couldn't wait for tomorrow.

End of Chapter 4

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Hm, what's going to happen tomorrow? Leave me a review if you want the next chapter! Oh and um, be prepared, because the next chapter, you're going to see more of Adam and how he is with Eli. As you can see, Adam really really cares about Eli. Like REALLY cares about him. You'll see more of that love in the next chapter! Anyway, reviews are really great, so leave me some? I'll love you more than I love cherry Dr. Pepper, and I love that shit a lot man :D

Goodbye for now!


	5. reception

Disclaimer: Degrassi is something I don't own, sadly…

A/N: First things first… um those of you who witnessed that break down of mine on twitter… I'm really sorry; I can't promise that it won't happen again, but… I'll try to not let it happen again… I'm sorry if I worried people, if I scared you… I'm just, really sorry… I'm not going to stop writing, I didn't mean in a literal sense that I was going to quit writing, I meant it for that night, it's my passion and I'm not going to let some sick fuck ruin my life because he think he can… again, I'm really sorry…

Thanks again to Soon Enough for the great review. I love reading her review, it really makes my day!

Anyway I really, really love updating for this story, it's my favorite so far, this and Unmasked. I feel a little horrible because I have to update I think I'm Paranoid, and Miss Bipolar, but um anyways. I love reading your reviews, some of you know about Eli if you are on my twitter, and some of you are guessing along the right track, but um… I do ask that you guys read my author's notes, because I don't like repeating myself. ADAM IS A FULL BLOWN OUT GUY in this story, he is NOT A FTM! Anyway, here's chapter 5!

Oh and Adam is not gay for Eli, he just loves him very much, it's just a caring relationship that he has with Eli.

Warnings: Um, parental abuses, and bulimia in this chapter, please proceed with caution. If you don't like this, then please just skip over it, and don't give me hate mail for it. It's your own fault for not reading IMPORTANT notes.

Beta-reader: _cky297_

* * *

Alibis

Summary: Waiting for change to lead him down a more innocent path, death obsessed Elijah Goldsworthy finds it in a blue eyed beauty, but perhaps with an even darker past than his own.

* * *

CHAPTER 5

"You gave Clare your number?" Adam asked, as he tossed his bag in the corner of my room after grabbing his night clothes. I sat on my bed, watching the fan spin around in a slow elliptical. Adam walked to the bathroom and before he entered, he turned around and said, "Can I leave you alone for a few minutes?" I nodded and he nodded curtly and headed into the bathroom. I stay laying on my bed, looking bored as ever.

I had hoped that Clare would call me, but maybe I'm just getting my hopes up like I always do. I sighed a little and sat up on my bed, and then walked out of my room to go to the kitchen and get something to drink. I grabbed a cup from the cabinet and placed the glass under the sink and filled it up with faucet water. I glanced up, looking out the window and across the yard, staring straight at Clare's house. All the lights are off, except for the one in Clare's room.

I jumped, startled, when the water spilled over the top of the glass. I turned the faucet off, poured some of the water out and headed back to my room. Adam was on my bed, borrowing my laptop. I smiled a little and sat down next to him, crawling under the sheets after I placed the glass on the nightstand. Adam glanced down at me and asked, "Are you going to bed now?" I shook my head and watched him surf the web. I turned to my side, not facing him and frowned a little.

"Hey Eli, your phone is vibrating."

I shot up from the bed and bolted to my phone. I heard Adam laughing on my bed, but I didn't care. I didn't recognize the number, so I just assumed that it was Clare. "Hello?"

**_"Is—Is this Eli?"_**

"Yeah, is this Clare—

**_"Eli, I need to talk to you… I really need to talk to you."_**

I blinked a few times and furrowed my eyebrows. Clare was crying on the other end, sobbing heavily. I shifted my eyes and tried to think of something to say. I didn't know what to do, especially if someone calls me crying. Hell, nobody ever calls me, except for Adam, and he's hardly ever crying, except for when his mom bitched him out about some irrelevant causes. "What's wrong?" I finally asked.

**_"E-Eli, I just—Clare! Get off of the phone, now!"_**

_Beep, beep, beep…_

I pulled the phone away from my ear as the line went dead. I turned around to face Adam; he glanced up at me with a questioning look. He asked, "What happened?" I closed my phone and placed it on the dresser. I raked my fingers through my hair and suddenly felt light headed.

"Eli?" Adam asked. I leaned against my dresser and muttered something under my breath, then headed to my bathroom. Adam had bolted off of the bed and stood in front of the doorway, blocking me from entering. He said in a hoarse tone, "Eli, what's wrong?" I shook my head and tried to walk around him. He only placed his hands on my shoulders and asked, yet again, what was wrong.

"Clare called me and she was crying, like sobbing…" I whispered. Adam tilted my chin up when I bowed my head, hiding my face. He smiled a little and said, "Eli, you worry too much. Just go lay down. I'm sure Clare is fine." I nodded and I walked to the bed and I crawled in, lying under the sheets. Adam cut the lights off, grabbed the T.V remote, and crawled into the bed. He sat up against the headboard, turning the T.V on. I watched him flip through the channels and I frowned a little.

From my peripherals I can see Adam glance down at me. He placed the remote down on the bed and looked up at me when he pulled me into his lap, my head lying on his chest. I smiled a little and closed my eyes as he raked his fingers through my hair. This is why Adam is my best friend; he cares… a lot.

…

…

…

"Clare, who were you on the phone with?" My dad asked as he walked slowly into my room. I glanced over at the corner of my room, checking the time; it's a little after nine. Then, I reached up to wipe the tears that shed down my cheeks. He sat on my bed and stared at me, exactly like when a dog stares at its owner when they're eating. I swallowed nervously and said, "N-nobody." He frowned and got up, standing close to me.

"Don't lie to me, Clare." He said darkly.

"I wasn't talking to anyone." I repeated, choking on a sob. My dad growled inhumanely and grabbed my hair, pulling me off of the bed, and he threw me to the floor. My back hit the leg of my computer desk, and I let out a sharp breath. I whimpered and staggered to my feet. I stood up, and the moment I looked up at him, his hand came in contact to my face, causing me to stumble back.

I cried, "Daddy, please don't… I'm sorry!"

"Sorry isn't good enough, Clare! Why do you insist on lying to me?" He forcefully grabbed me by the front collar of my shirt, and knocked me down to the floor. I yelped when my stomach landed on a pair of heels. My dad muttered, "You're grounded. After tomorrow, when you're hanging out with Darcy and that boy." He purposely stepped on me as he made his way out of my room. The minute the door was closed, I burst out into a series of sobbing, crying, and whimpering.

Slowly, I tried to pick myself up. The stinging on my face caused me to hiss, and the pain on my back and stomach caused the tears to relentlessly stream down my face. I dragged my feet across the carpet of my room, making my way to the bathroom. My legs gave in; I fell to the cold bathroom floor, and stayed there, looking at the vent under my cabinets, as tears spilled from the corners of my eyes. I breathed heavily and looked around.

I sniffled and wiped my tears with the sleeve of my shirt. I pulled them down, and stared at my scars, running my fingertips along the purple marked skin. I closed my eyes, and brought my knees up to my chest, wrapping my arms around my legs. I whimpered to myself, "I'm sorry…"

I got up and opened the small drawer, pulling out a small white square shaped towel, and a pair of small scissors. I lifted my shirt, revealing my ivory stomach. I eyed the small red spot from when I landed on my heels. I opened the scissors and placed the blade there, and with hard force, I drag the blade across my stomach, splitting my skin. I sighed, as the blood poured from the cut. I held the small towel over it and my nerves calmed down. I smiled and removed the towel. The cut was still bleeding, but I didn't care. I pulled my dark shirt over my stomach and shoved the towel into the back of the drawer, along with the scissors. I walked across my room to turn the light off, and then headed to my window, and peaked through the blinds. The T.V in Eli's room was on, and I could faintly see him. I smiled a little when I noticed that he was laying on someone, and they were holding him. I guess he and his friend are really close.

I headed to my bed and crawled under the sheets. The second I closed my eyes, I had drifted into deep sleep. It's true what they say about crying… it makes you dead tired.

…

…

…

…

"Hey Adam…"

"Hm?"

"I'm a little nervous." I whispered, clenching the hem of his shirt. I heard Adam snicker a little and he responded, while his fingers continued to massage my scalp, "Eli you're always nervous when you're hanging out with people, especially if you're leaving the house. You have to get out more often." Adam was telling the truth. I hardly leave my house, except for when I'm doing chores. I used to go out with old friends, but… we've grown distant since they found out that I was "mentally ill". Adam stayed by my side, though.

I wrapped my arms around him and buried my head in his stomach. I can feel Adam smiling as he ran his fingers through my hair. I closed my eyes and sighed heavily.

…

…

The next morning I woke up lying by myself in the bed. I frowned and sat up, abruptly looking around the room. I pulled the sheets off of my body and looked around the room; I found a note taped on the door. I blinked a few times and walked to the door, ripping the note off it. I opened it and read it quickly.

_Eli, I had to go home early. I'll call you after your date with little Miss. Clare-bear. She called earlier but you were still sleeping. I took the liberty in answering the phone for you. She told me to tell you that her father wants you over at her house at exactly two o'clock. You get to hang out for two hours. I'll talk to you later, man. I had fun :)_

_—Adam_

_P.S: You don't have to wear what I picked out for you. I was just being myself ;P_

I smiled a little and looked over at my digital clock. It's exactly twelve o' clock P.M. I figured I take a shower, so I grabbed the clothes that Adam had picked out for me, and walked to the bathroom to take a quick shower. As the warm water cleansed my body, I stared blankly at my cut. I cleaned it, rubbing liquid soap over it and I hissed, watching the water turn a light pink, since it had started to bleed slightly again.

I sighed and finished washing my hair and body, then turned the shower off, stepping out. I wrapped a towel around my waist and ruffled one in my hair. I dried my body and pulled my boxers on, then my pants, and then my shirt. I walked out of the bathroom and searched for my black and red checkered wrist band. I ran a comb through my hair and then applied the small amount of eyeliner that I normally wear if I decide to go out.

I walked out of my room and brushed by my dad who asked hoarsely, "Where are you going?"

"Out." I responded lowly. I quickly made my way to the kitchen and was greeted by my mother. She smiled at me and said, "Oh, good afternoon, Eli. Why are you all dressed up?" I opened the fridge and grabbed the gallon of 2% milk and twisted the cap off and chugged it. I pulled the gallon from my lips and responded, "Clare asked me to hang out today… I'm taking her to the Dot." My mom smiled, really smiled; a smile that I hadn't seen in such a long time, when it comes to me that is.

She said, "Oh, that's good. Are you going to walk there?" I chewed on my bottom lip and turned to her, placing the milk back in the fridge. I swallowed nervously and softly asked, "I was wondering if I could… borrow your car." I watched my mom blink a few times. She responded, "What's wrong with Morty?"

"He's acting up again; can I borrow your car?" I watched her walk to the set of keys sitting on the counter. I sighed in relief. Mom started to hand me the keys but pulled them back saying, "You get one scratch on my car, there's going to be some consequences later." I nodded and grabbed the keys. I shoved them in my back pocket and looked at the time. It was twelve thirty; I had just enough time for myself. I looked out the window, to see Darcy and Clare sitting outside on the driveway.

Darcy was talking to her, and Clare had her head buried in her knees. I blinked and turned around, and walked to my room just to get my phone. I walked back, and headed out the front door, only to sit on the front porch. I sat in the corner, letting my legs stretch out before me. I flipped my phone open and sent Adam a quick text. I glanced up occasionally at Clare and Darcy; they were now talking and laughing. I watched them both, studying them… Darcy somehow seemed to notice that I was staring at her and I dropped my gaze when she looked over at me. I had received a text from Adam.

_Eli, just calm down. Clare is going to love you if you be yourself.  
—Adam_

I wished I could believe him. I frowned and reached up, raking my fingers through my shaggy hair. I swallowed hard and I glanced up, peaking through my bangs, and I flipped them to the side and was soon watching Clare and her sister walk up to me. I tried to hide the blush that was threatening to creep up on my face as Clare got closer and closer to me. Her eyes were fixated on the ground, and her teeth were tugging nervously on her bottom lip. She rubbed her arm, and then her stomach. I blinked a few times, out of curiosity. Why was she doing this? I have no idea.

"So you're taking us out today, right?" Darcy asked, the second she was standing in front of me. I nodded my head and got up, brushing the dust off the back of my jeans. Darcy looked me up and down and she arched her eyebrow when her eyes met mine. She asked, "Are you wearing eyeliner?" I blinked a few times and bit the inside of my cheeks. My heart felt like it was going to rip out of my chest, because I just got so nervous. Clare looked over at me and she shot a glare towards Darcy.

"What? I'm just asking." Darcy said in a frustrated tone while crossing her arms across her chest. I smiled sheepishly and responded as I rubbed the back of my neck, "It's okay. I don't mind, Clare."

She blinked up at me, our eyes connected for a brief moment, and then she looked down.

I licked my lips and questioned, "Do I need to like… speak to your dad or something? Because I'm going to be driving you guys there."

"Oh you drive?" Clare lit up all of a sudden. I nodded and pulled the keys out of my back pocket, showing them to her. Clare smiled wide and she looked over at Darcy saying, "Eli can drive! Can I sit in the front, please?" Darcy stared down at her, and then looked up at me. She sighed and reached up, patting Clare's head. She responded, "Okay, I'm going to go talk to dad about leaving now. Clare, I'm going to be leaving you here, okay? But just for a few minutes."

"Darcy, I'll be fine." Clare responded harshly. She nodded and hugged her younger sister, glared at me, and then walked down the steps and headed across the street. Clare and I stood awkwardly in front of each other. She licked her bottom lip and tugged on it with her teeth. Clare started to rub her arm and cleared her throat nervously. I looked around the porch and asked, "Do you want to sit down?" Clare nodded and she took a seat on the porch swing. I shifted my eyes and slowly sat down next to her. We kept our distance.

I placed my feet on the railing of the porch and Clare said, "I'm sorry about my sister." I looked over at her and she smiled faintly at me. She did it again, looked at the ground when our eyes met. I found it to be damn cute when she did this, but I wouldn't mind her looking at me every once in a while. I asked, "Why do you look down when someone's talking to you?" Clare blinked up at me, and she shrugged her shoulders. I looked at her blue eyes, and she instantly blushed. Subconsciously, I licked my lips. "You have really pretty eyes." I said softly.

Clare's face burned a dark scarlet red and my lips curled up slightly. She was about to say something, but her sister had finally returned saying, "Okay, Clare, dad said it was okay for us to leave now, but he wants us back by four at the latest." I reached into my pocket, pulling my phone out to check the time. It was fifteen minutes after one. I smiled mentally and got up from the porch swing, and started to walk to the car parked in the driveway. I pressed the button on the car key pad and unlocked the car doors. Clare bounced around and she climbed into the passenger side of my mom's silver Volvo.

I waited for Darcy to get situated in the back before I could turn the car on. I have this weird obsession to waiting for people to "buckle up for safety". I had a bad experience when I first started driving, and I didn't want to risk this again. I turned the ignition on and fastened my seatbelt. I checked the mirrors and Darcy said harshly, "Everything is okay; let's get going." I flinched and muttered, "Okay, okay." I shifted the gear in "reverse" and glanced behind me as I pulled out of the driveway. Once I was out, I switched the gear to "drive" and sped down the road.

…

…

"So, this is the Dot? Kind of small, isn't it?" Darcy asked. I clenched my jaw. I swear this bitch is going to get her ass beat one day. She complains about EVERYTHING, and she's getting on my last damn nerve. I responded sardonically, "What did you expect? It's a café, not an overly priced restaurant." I walked by her and headed to the main door, and opened it. Clare walked inside and she smiled at me. I pressed my lips to a line in return. As much as I wanted to crush Darcy in the door and watch her blood spill from the corners of her lips, I held the door open for her. She glared at me and I glared right back. I walked in after her, and she took a seat next to Clare at the counter. I sat on the other side of her; Clare was in the middle.

"Well, look who it is. Eli, I haven't seen you in like four months man, how've you been?"

I smiled at the guy behind the counter and responded, "Nice to see you, too, Peter. Um, these are my new neighbors Darcy and Clare. Guys, this is Peter, the manager of this place." Clare held her hand out and Peter took it gladly, and then took Darcy's. She smiled flirtatiously at him, and he didn't seem to mind, because he started to talk to her, leaning over the counter to flirt with her. Clare turned to me and she laughed a little saying, "Um, what's good here?"

I slowly scooted closer to her, so that my arm was pressed up against hers. I loomed over her and said, "Well, um, to be honest, I don't really get much here. Just either water or tea." Clare turned to me and our cheeks brushed. I instantly pulled away and she stammered, "O-oh, well… maybe we should get the same thing, and m-maybe you won't just… order water, or a tea anymore."

I couldn't help but think that when Clare is nervous, and you can hear it in her words, is damn cute. I glanced over her shoulder to see that Peter and Darcy were still flirting and talking. My attention snapped back to Clare and she was twiddling her fingers together, and looking around the café. I took that chance to admire her beauty. Her skin looked so soft, and I wanted to just reach up and ghost my fingers over it. Her lips were naturally pink and I wanted to lean into her, and kiss her; take her breath away. My eyes traveled lower to her neck, and then her chest and I narrowed my eyes, noticing a long scar starting from the middle of her collar bones, and curving down, disappearing behind the scooped collar of her thin long sleeved white shirt. Clare cleared her throat, and I blinked up in surprise.

"Wh-what are you looking at?" Clare asked softly.

"S-sorry, I doze off a lot." I turned to face the front and said, "Peter!" He turned to me and held up one finger to Darcy, giving her the "just one moment" gesture. He asked, "What's up?"

"Clare and I are ready to order." I responded quickly.

"Okay, what can I get you?" He asked. Clare responded, "I want the vanilla milk-shake, and so does Eli." Peter slowly stopped writing on his note-pad and his eyebrow lifted in question. He burst out into laughter and said, "Eli doesn't drink vanilla milk-shakes." Clare frowned and she lowered her gaze to the granite counter. I joined in, "Just get me the damn drink." Peter sighed and he nodded.

"Are you always this rude?" Darcy asked.

"Are you always a bitch?" I responded.

She gasped and I mentally slapped myself soon after. I got up, walking away and heading to the bathroom. I stepped inside and locked the door, leaning against it. I pulled my phone out and dialed a number. I placed the phone against my ear and listened to the dial tone.

"Hello?"

"Adam! Can you come to The Dot?" I asked, hanging my head, my bangs shielding my eyes. He was moving around, the sound of his bed springs squeaked and he finally asked after yawning obnoxiously, "Why? What's going on?" I sighed and tilted my head back, resting it against the door. I looked up at the light from the bathroom and walked to the mirror.

"Darcy is really pissing me off… and I called her a bitch."

"Eli! Bad move there! Look, I'll be there in a little bit, okay? Just relax, splash some cold water on your face, and talk to Clare or something. I'll see you in a few." I closed the phone and walked to the sink, and turned the faucet, letting the cold water run. I cupped my hands and filled them up with some water. I splashed the water onto my face and looked up. My green eyes stared back; the black of my eyeliner was now smudged.

I reached up and fixed it and then turned the faucet off, and walked to the door. As soon as I opened it I was staring straight into blue eyes. I blinked a few times and before I could say anything, Clare asked, "Are you okay?"

I nodded and slowly walked by her. She sighed and soon started to follow me back towards the front. I sat down in a booth instead of at the counter. Darcy didn't seem to mind because she was flirting with Peter again. Clare stood between the counter, and the booth I'm currently in right now. From the corner of my eye, I watched her switch glances between Darcy and me. I expected her to sit down with her sister, but she sat down in front of me.

"Peter said that… um, our milkshakes should be done in a little bit. He said that the machine for it was acting up." Clare started.

I nodded and brought my thumbnail up to my lips, and started to chew on it roughly. Clare's eyes never left mine, but I turned them to look out the window. My leg started to shake under the table, and Clare cleared her throat. I glanced over at her and she said, "I'm sorry about my sister. She really is a… um… _bitch_, but… not all the time." Clare folded her hands up on the table and I wanted to reach over and hold them in mine. I shook the idea from my head and almost sighed heavily out loud when Adam walked through the front door, followed by a "ding".

"Oh, there you are." Adam walked to the booth, and he practically shoved me over. I glanced over at Clare and she blinked a few times, switching glances between me and Adam. I cleared my throat and said, "Adam, this is Clare… Clare, this is Adm."

"Ah, Clare-bear, I've heard so much about you." Adam smirked, holding his hand out. Clare took it and she blushed when he brought her hand up to his lips, and kissed it. I felt my stomach drop and Clare blushed asking, "Really? What all has he said about me?" I kicked Adam's foot, but he continued, "Eli said that you're the most beautiful girl that he's ever laid eyes on and that you make him nervous—

"ADAM!" I hissed.

"What? Oh… sorry." He rubbed the back of his head nervously and I bowed my head, hiding my face from Clare. She was giggling in front of me. I nearly thanked God when Peter came in with our drinks. I took it and Adam questioned, "Since when do you drink milkshakes? You're always complained about the fat in these things."

"Fat?" Clare asked.

Adam and I looked over at her and she pushed the glass away from her. I pinned my eyebrows together and before I could say anything, Darcy appeared out of nowhere and sat down next to Clare.

"Who's this?" She directed her statement towards Adam.

"This is my friend Adam. Adam, this is Darcy."

"The bitch?" He asked. I sighed. This hang-out isn't going as well as I thought it would. Adam… I'm going to kill you later. Darcy gasped and she huffed, "Excuse me?"

I reached up and grabbed the glass in front of me, and wrapped my lips around the straw, sucking on it and gathering the thick, frothy, vanilla-tasting liquid into my mouth. I swallowed and I looked up at Clare, she moved her straw around and slowly took a sip. Adam sighed and he said, "I'm sorry, Darcy… I just don't appreciate it when people are being dicks to Eli… It's not his fault he doesn't interact with many people." I blushed when Darcy looked over at me.

Clare giggled and said, "It's okay."

I smiled at her and she smiled in return.

Darcy sighed. "So what are you? His boyfriend or something?" I reached down and grabbed Adam's leg when his fist clenched. Adam snapped, "So because I care about him, it makes me gay, and what if I was?" I'm doomed. I looked over at Clare and her face dropped. I swallowed hard and I slowly tapped her foot with me. She looked over at me and I mouthed, "He's not my boyfriend" Clare pressed her lips to a line and nodded slowly. Darcy sighed and said, "Eli, I believe it's time for us to get home. Clare, hurry up with your milkshake." I frowned and glared daggers at Adam.

"Are you going to finish this?" He pointed at my milkshake and I grabbed the glass and pulled the straw out of it, tossing it on the table. I chugged it down and placed the glass on the table, and then wiped my mouth with the back of my hand. Darcy, Clare and Adam stared at me with odd expressions as I turned my attention outside. Darcy stammered, "C-Clare hurry up with your drink." She nodded and I watched her sip the rest of what she had left.

The four of us sat awkwardly at the booth. After about five minutes, Clare spoke up, "Um, excuse me, I have to go to the bathroom." Darcy got up and Clare fixed her shirt as she walked towards the back of the café.

…

…

…

…

I paced in the bathroom, moving quickly from side to side. I walked to the mirror and lifted my shirt up. I frowned, stepping to the side, avoiding looking at the puffy red mark on my stomach.

_"Since when do you drink milkshakes? You always complained about the **fat **in these things."_

I dropped my shirt and walked to a stall. I locked myself inside and sighed softly. I got down to my knees and lifted the seat up. I braced myself, stuck two fingers down my throat and gagged. I frowned and chewed on my bottom lip. I took in a sharp breath, and stuck two fingers down my throat, deeper. I gagged and swiftly pulled my fingers out, and finally had gotten myself to throw up what I had eaten earlier this morning, and what I just drank. Tears poured from my eyes, as I gagged and dry heaved. The pain in my stomach burned, but I felt so relieved. I reached up blindly, and pulled the knob down, flushing the toilet. I got up and opened the door, and headed to the sink. I turned the faucet on, gathered some water in my hands and rinsed my mouth. I stepped away and looked at myself in the mirror.

I smiled faintly, tucked my hair behind my ear and turned to walk out the door.

End of Chapter 5

* * *

So, what do you guys think? I like where this is going, if I reach 200 reviews, I'm going to get uber happy! My goal is to impress you enough to get to two hundred reviews by the seventh chapter, maybe more than two hundred. Anyway, I have been writing so much for this story, that I somehow forgot that Eli's house is a two floor house, so I would just like to change that now, it's one story. I will go back and fix the first chapter later, but now you know.

Let me answer some questions ha ha.

1. Adam is NOT gay for Eli, he just loves him so much, he cares, it's called a close brotherly love relationship.

2. Why I named Alibis, Alibis: well, to be literal, Alibis means: an excuse intended to avert blame or punishment (as for failure or negligence). You will find out later on in the story as to why this will make more sense to you.

3. Please stop sending me PM's and asking me about Clare's life, you will find out later on in the story, hense, this is why the story is so mysterious. I can't just you know, spoil it. Some of you guessed right though. But seriously, no more PM's about it, okay?

Well, that's all I wanted to say, reviews will be amazing! So why don't you leave me some? The person who is my two hundredth reviewer, I will give you a one-shot surprise :) Whether it being, all sex, a horror, bloody romance, Eli being tied up to a bed and being whipped by Clare dressed in a dominatrix outfit, or Eli dressed up as a puppy and roleplaying as a dog for Clare, anything... it's all for you X3.

Goodbye for now!


	6. heart warmth

Disclaimer: Degrassi is something I don't own, sadly…

Important note: I do apologize for the delay, most of you know what happened, and I say this ahead of time, NOT MY FAULT! It truly wasn't... Anyway, here you are, after a long period of times, chapter six.

A/N: Thanks for the lovely reviews. Um the whole silver Volvo thing, it's not because of TWILIGHT. I hate Twilight, I hate it because vampires sparkle in that movie and it's all blasphemy, all of it! Anyway, no more mentioning of Twilight for this story, otherwise I'd go complete ape shit on someone, and it's not that fun when I go ape shit on someone…

I'm like so in love with this story. I like how dark it's getting! Some of you enjoy how shy Eli is with Clare, but ha ha, wait until more of the story builds up, he's not as shy as he seems… well he is but, ah, you know what I mean X3 Anyway, here is chapter 6, I hope you guys enjoy this one :D I know I did… be prepared! It's going to be slightly intense!

Beta-reader: _cky297_

* * *

Alibis

Summary: Waiting for change to lead him down a more innocent path, death obsessed Elijah Goldsworthy finds it in a blue eyed beauty, but perhaps with an even darker past than his own.

* * *

CHAPTER 6

It has been exactly an hour since Eli dropped Darcy and I off. I've been in the living room watching T.V. for the past twenty minutes. I was relaxing. My parents weren't home, so I had the chance to have some time for myself. Darcy is in the shower, and, well, she hadn't talked to me since Eli dropped us off. I wouldn't blame her… Every time one of my friends cussed her out, or said something about her that she didn't like, she blamed me for it.

I sighed and got up, walking to the kitchen to find something to snack on. I remember my mom saying something about popsicles, so I opened the freezer and looked around. I smiled and reached into the box, and grabbed a popsicle. I ripped the white wrapper off and smiled, realizing that I had gotten a cherry flavored one. I reached over, grabbed a napkin and headed back to the living room. I plopped myself on the couch and continued to eat my frozen treat. I got bored with what I was watching and flipped through the channels as I continued to slowly devour my cherry popsicle. I looked down at my phone, which started to vibrate on the coffee table. I pinned my eyebrows together and reached down, grabbing it.

_New Text Message!_

"This looks like… Eli's number." I said out loud. I flipped open my phone and read the text.

_Hey, sorry you had to hear me and Adam argue on the way back  
—Eli_

I frowned. That argument he had with Adam was a bit over the top… Eli almost got us killed since he wasn't paying much attention to the road. I shivered from the thought and quickly responded to his text; _It's okay, the most important thing is that… you're okay… are you okay?_

I closed my phone after I sent the message. Soon enough, I was finished with my popsicle. I read the small joke that it had on the stick and, as corny as it was, I laughed. It didn't take Eli long to respond to the text I had sent to him. I flipped open my phone and read the text, my smile quickly turning upside down; I frowned.

_No, I'm not okay… Adam knows how insecure I am sometimes, and he's going to go off and embarrass me in front of you and your sister… clearly your sister hates me now, and I'm positive you hate me too… I wouldn't blame you if you did… not many people like me very much.  
—Eli_

I pressed my lips to a line and I blinked a few times. Why would I hate him? I quickly typed in my response; _Eli, I don't hate you. I mean, I can understand why you would be upset about Adam embarrassing you; I don't like Adam much for doing that because that wasn't very friendly, but I don't hate you._

I closed my phone and got up to throw away my napkin and popsicle stick. I walked back to the living room, and as soon as I sat down, Darcy had walked down the stairs, her hair wet. Darcy sat down next to me and she asked, "Who are you texting?" I grabbed my phone and quickly responded, "Nobody." Darcy frowned and she muttered something inaudible under her breath. I opened my phone when I received a text from Eli.

_Um, can I call you?  
—Eli_

I smiled and said, "Darcy, you can watch T.V. I'm going to my room." I got up from the couch, and practically bolted up the stairs to my room. I shut and locked the door, then bounced on my bed as I typed my response; _yeah, you can call me :)_ I closed my phone and waited patiently for his call. Again, I felt my stomach flutter, and my heart rate pick up. I smiled and laid my head on my pillow. Moments later, my phone started to play a cute ring tone, and I picked it up, reading the caller ID: Eli. I smiled wide and answered the phone.

"Hello?"

**_"…Hey."_**

"Hi Eli." I responded, smiling wide from ear to ear.

**_"Hi. Uh, what are you doing?"_**

I sat up on my bed and crossed my legs. I looked down and responded after a few seconds. "I'm, um, just sitting on my bed. I'm kind of bored." I heard Eli moving and he inhaled sharply. I furrowed my eyebrows and he let out a small sigh. I licked my bottom lip and asked, "What are you doing?"

**_"J-just a second, Clare."_** Eli hissed. I heard him place the phone down, and then I heard the sound of running water. I swallowed hard and waited for him to return. I tapped my fingers on my foot and sighed. Eli was taking forever, and after about five minutes, he finally picked up his phone and said, **_"Okay… I'm back."_**

"What happened?" I didn't mean for it to slip out, and of course… he became quiet on the other end. I wouldn't be surprised if he just hung up on me. I don't like to ask what's going on with people if they disappear for more than three minutes on the phone. Clearly, it's because they're doing something important, or… in Eli's case… something bad, maybe.

**_"Nothing… I um… nothing, nothing."_** Eli responded quickly. An awkward silence befell our conversation and I never felt more nervous than ever. Eli cleared his throat and I let out a small sigh. He asked, "Um… are you free tonight? Because maybe we can… you know, hang out, just me and you, unless your sister would have to… you know, come with us again." I frowned and sighed heavily. I can't leave with Eli. I can't even hang out with him alone… my parents will kill me.

"I can't… I mean, I would love to. I wouldn't mind hanging out with you, I just can't… my parents will kill me even if I ask." I finally responded. Eli stayed quiet on the other line.

**_"So don't tell them. Have you ever snuck out before?"_** Eli asked me.

"…I have." I whispered.

**_"Really? You snuck out of the house? You don't seem like the type. Anyway, if you're up for it, would you meet me out front at midnight?"_**

I scanned my room, and checked the time. It's three thirty now. At midnight, my parents are already sleeping, depends if my dad doesn't decide to come into my room at night. I smiled a little bit at the thought of Eli and I hanging out, alone, no Darcy, and figured it might be okay. Sure we've only known each other for almost a week, but… we're friends right? And friends hang out… "Sure, I'll text you later on tonight." I said.

**_"Okay cool. I have some stuff to take care of now. I'll t—_**

"Eli, wait," I interrupted him, "um, earlier I asked you about my dog… He's been missing for almost two days now, so can we look for him when we hang out?" I asked.

**_"Sure."_** He responded silently.

"Okay. Well, if we find him, we can hang out more." I smiled.

**_"Yeah, okay… I'll talk to you later."_** Eli hung up on the other line and I slowly closed my phone and fell back on my bed. I sighed lightly and closed my eyes, smiling softly.

…

…

…

…

I tossed my phone across my room and walked out of it, heading to the living room. My mom was sitting on the couch, and I sat down next to her. She glanced over at me, and paused the T.V. She eyed me and I sighed heavily.

"Mom, I did something horrible." I muttered. Mom turned to me and she blinked a few times. From the corner of my eye, I took note of the worried look on her face. She asked, "What's wrong?" I chewed on my bottom lip and rubbed my arm nervously. I glanced over at her and muttered, "I killed Clare's dog." She gasped and blinked a few times. Her mouth opened and closed a few times. I brought my legs up to her chest and I muttered, "I didn't even know she had a dog… it was… interrupting my time and I got mad and killed it."

"Eli, you just… Eli you killed a dog? You killed a dog?" She got up and started screaming at me. Mom started to pace the room and she held her head in her hands. I said, "It's not like I meant to do it!" She laughed sarcastically.

"Come on Eli, you're going to sit there and tell me you didn't mean to do it? This isn't the first time you've done something so crazy! I'm going to call Dr. West." She disappeared in the kitchen.

"What? No, mom. Don't, please!" I begged as I got up from the couch, following her to the kitchen. She turned around screaming, "Why not? Eli, you promised you wouldn't do this again! First it was our cats, then Clare's dog!" I frowned and looked down at the ground in slight shame. I hated when my mom is mad at me, because if she's mad at me, my dad is mad at me. And when they're both mad, I go completely insane. I watched her dial the number and I reached up and took the phone from her slowly. Mom glared at me, and I walked into her, burying my head in her shoulder.

I ended up sobbing freely and she sighed softly, wrapping her arms around my shoulders. She rubbed my back and I whispered, "I'm sorry… I didn't mean to do it… I swear." She didn't say anything; she only continued to rub my back. The phone dropped from my hand and landed on the floor, which of course resulted in the battery falling out of it as it hit the ground. I wrapped my arms slowly around her waist and mom whispered, "Eli, you have to talk to Dr. West. Maybe he can prescribe you some—

"Mom, I don't need any more pills!" I screamed as I tore away from her.

She stared at me, startled from my sudden outburst.

"I'm fine… I haven't had any anxiety attacks in a while… I'm fine… I don't need any more than I already have." I muttered, tugging at the hem of my shirt. Mom sighed and she frowned. She turned around and picked up the phone from the ground. I watched her place the battery inside and she started to dial a number again. I listened to her conversation.

"Hello, Dr. West. Are you coming in today? You are? Okay… no, no everything is fine, I was just making sure. Yes, Eli is fine… Okay, I'll see you in a little bit." She hung up and turned around to face me. I turned around and walked to the living room. I sat down on the couch and curled up at the corner, bringing my legs up to my chest once again. I buried my face in my knees and wrapped my arms around my legs.

Mom walked into the living room and she sat down next to me. Hesitantly, she reached up and placed a hand on my shoulder. I turned my head to face her, and she whispered, "I'm only doing this to help you, Eli… You have to understand." I peeked through my bangs, looking at the floor. I knew she was doing this to help, but she knows how much I hate talking to this guy. He tries to get inside my head and find out things that doesn't concern him. I attacked him once when we were having a session in his office across town. Mom and dad were in the same room, and it took three people to pry me off him. "I understand." I whispered.

Mom leaned over and she brushed my hair away and placed a kiss on my cheek. I smiled a little and she got up to get the door once the annoying sound of the doorbell rang.

"Good afternoon, Mrs. Goldsworthy."

"Good afternoon, Dr. West."

He walked inside and mom closed the door behind him. Dr. West walked to the empty seat next to where I sat and he pushed his glasses up to the bridge of his nose. I lifted my head and we both stared at each other. Dr. West cleared his throat and he reached into his suitcase and pulled out that clip board with the yellow paper clipped over it. He flipped them over and I watched as he clicked his pen, and wrote something on it.

"How are you today?" He asked.

"Fine." I muttered.

"That's good. What did you today?" Dr. West wrote down on his paper and then glanced back up at me. I chewed on my bottom lip and finally responded after a short pause, "Um, I hung out with some friends." Dr. West looked up and he blinked a few times, and then looked over at my mom. I didn't understand the big deal. Well, maybe it's because I hardly ever go out.

"Who?" He asked finally.

"Adam, Clare, and her sister Darcy." I resisted the urge to smile from the mention of Clare's name. But my therapist notices everything, so he asked, "Who's Clare?" I glanced up, moving my bangs from my face. I cleared my throat and responded lowly, "My neighbor." Dr. West blinked a few times and he slowly raked his fingers through his short light brown hair. He licked his lips and I did too, which were suddenly dry. My leg shook and I had started to become anxious. I placed my feet on the floor, and clenched the couch. I inhaled sharply and mom came in out of nowhere saying, "Why don't you tell Dr. West what you told me earlier." I lifted my gaze to meet hers and glared at her. She shrugged her shoulders and Dr. West turned around and looked at her then back at me. He asked while pushing his glasses up to the bridge of his nose, "What is she talking about, Eli?" I sighed and cursed at my mom mentally.

"I... um, did something bad," I started. I inhaled sharply and whispered, "I killed… Clare's dog." Dr. West glanced up at me and his forehead wrinkled as he furrowed his eyebrows. I didn't bother in looking at him, because I knew he was giving me an awful glare. Dr. West said, "Why did you do this Elijah?" I cringed when he called me by my full name. I shrugged my shoulders and told him the truth.

"I was relaxing in my room, and it was barking outside. It got on my nerves… I killed it so it would shut up." I responded. Dr. West licked his lips and cleared his throat. He put his clipboard back into his bag while saying, "It looks like our session is over. We will continue this tomorrow." He got up from the couch, and I watched him leave out the front door, after having a small conversation with my mom. They were whispering, just so I couldn't hear what they were talking about. I got up from the couch and made my way into the kitchen. I looked outside the window and Clare was in her room, walking around in a circle. She looked out the window, as if she knew I was looking up at her. Clare smiled wide, and she lifted her hand hesitantly, waving at me. I lifted my hand and waved back. I watched her move again. It looked like she was dancing, and not those slut kinds of dancing, but actual dancing… Like, ballet dancing.

I cocked my head to the side and watched her. I cursed under my breath, because I couldn't actually see her dancing. I turned away, and I was soon staring into the eyes of my mother. She had her arms crossed across her chest and I couldn't help but swallow nervously. She said warmly, "Eli… Dr. West suggested… that we call this number… he says that you can talk to—

"I don't need to talk to anyone… I have him, remember?" I walked around her, ignoring her. I was just about to walk into my room, until my dad peered around the corner. I tried my best to walk around him, but we crashed into each other. I muttered "sorry" under my breath, but he still wanted to start something.

"Elijah! Watch where you're going!"

I turned around to face him. Sometimes I regret having the big mouth that I have; this mouth always gets me in trouble.

"Why don't you watch where you're going? You saw me walking here; it's your fault for bumping into me!" I shouted.

My dad wasn't fairly amused with my sudden outburst. I watched his bottom lip twitch, and before I could comprehend that was going on, his hand just came in contact with my face. A loud slapping noise echoed down the hallway, and around the house. I closed my eyes, feeling the tears weld in them. It hurt so bad; it felt like my eye was about to explode. The stinging pain started to course on my face, and I could feel my face getting hot. I swallowed, my throat suddenly becoming dry, and in a slow, creepy pace, I walked to my room, shut the door, and lock it. I made my way to the bed, just as slow, and crawled to lie beneath the sheets.

…

…

…

…

"Come in!" I shouted, breathing heavily. I turned to face the door, and blinked a few times. My dad was leaning against it, his hand still on the doorknob. He eyed me for a few minutes, staring me up and down, and I blushed, looking away for a brief moment. Right now I wished I hadn't been wearing a pair of short purple cotton shorts, and a magenta colored spaghetti strap tanktop. If I would've known it was my dad walking in, I would've changed quickly. I turned around to turn my piano music down.

"What are you doing?" He asked finally, after eyeballing me.

"I-I was dancing." I stammered.

"Nnn." My dad nodded his head and licked his lips. I swallowed hard and started to back up against the door of my closet, trying my best to stay away from him. I cleared my throat, "Where's mom a-and Darcy?" I lowered my gaze, and reached up to push my bangs away from my face. My dad had started to walk up to me. I braced myself, knowing all too well what is going to happen next.

He stood in front of me. I could his breath fanning my face, and I nearly gagged. My dad smelled of whiskey; strong, throat burning whiskey. I turned my head to the side and refused to look up at him. He reached up, and slowly cupped my cheek. I squeezed my eyes shut as he turned his face to me. I swallowed hard and I could somehow feel him burning holes into my skin. I resisted the urge to whimper when his hand traveled down to my neck, my shoulder and stopped at my waist. If it were possible, I squeezed my eyes shut tighter, refusing to let the tears that had started to form to fall. His breath was hotter against my face; he was close, really close.

"Randal! Randal where are you?"

I let the breath I was holding pass my lips, sighing in relief. My father turned around, and practically stormed out of my room. I reached up and shakily ran my fingers through my hair. I thanked my mom mentally for getting him out of my room. I quickly walked to my door, closing and locking it. I turned around and leaned up against it. I looked around and searched for the time. I was so lightheaded that I had forgotten where my digital alarm clock was. It's just about five o'clock. Just seven more hours, and I would be hanging out with Eli. To be honest, I was a tiny bit skeptical about this. I mean, I'm going to be hanging out with a boy that I've known for barely a week, and it's going to be midnight! Well, we are going to be looking for my dog, so, I don't believe it can get any weirder than that. Eli was nice, and I don't believe he would do anything to put me in danger. That's my only fear.

I like Eli, don't get me wrong, but… he is a little rough around the edges. One minute he's happy, the next it's just… death glares, or disappearing for a few minutes. He's hiding something… I can tell. I shrugged it off and walked to my bed and sat on it. I looked to my nightstand and grabbed my phone, which was charging. I flipped it open and then closed it. I wanted to talk to Eli, but… he might be busy. I sighed softly and placed my phone back on the nightstand. I decided it would be nice to take a short nap. The second I closed my eyes, the sound of a key being shoved into a keyhole and unlocking a door sounded.

My eyes shot open and I looked to the door. My father was in my room yet again. I wanted to get up, and jump out the window, but I knew it was going to be a kind of useless attempt. I got up from my bed nonetheless and started to make my way to the door just as my dad sat down on the bed.

"Where are you going?" He got up swiftly, and was crushing my body against the wall. I tried to get away from him.

"I said, where are you going?" I ignored him, only bolted out of my room, sprinting down the hall and down the stairs. I can hear the sounds of his heavy footsteps following me. I was too anxious to get away from him to know what I was doing; I ended up running out the front door, and across the street. I glanced back at my dad and with my luck, I tripped and fell on the driveway. I hissed, feeling the skin on my knees break, and I knew for a fact that my chin was busted and scraped as well.

I breathed heavily and slowly staggered up, lifting my upper body up. I glanced back, and noticed that my dad was nowhere to be found. I sighed mentally, and then looked at my surroundings; I was lying, bleeding in front of Eli's house. I knew sooner or later I was going to have to get back to my house. I couldn't just leave, so I got up, my legs wobbled a little and I slowly made my way back to the house.

I braced myself yet again for what was to come. I walked up the steps of my house, opened the front door, and looked around. I glanced to my right and screamed out of instinct when my dad appeared out of nowhere, grabbing the hair on the back of my head and pulling me down forcefully to the floor. I cried, heavily.

"Clare, you know you can never get away from me." My dad growled. I staggered up to my hands and knees, and I cried out, his foot coming in contact with my ribcage. Over and over, his foot continued to come in contact with my ribs. I whimpered and cried, clenching my fists. I couldn't move; if I did, he would push me down and create more bruises. As if God was somehow answering my wishes, he stopped. My dad sighed, breathing heavily. I coughed, and my vision danced around in front of me. I sat up, leaning against the couch. I brought my hand up and wiped what I thought was drool from the corner of my mouth; it was blood. I dropped my hand from my face, and my vision blurred and the room spun in front of me. I swallowed the lump in my throat and just as my tears began to fall, my vision became black.

…

…

…

…

"Eli. Eli, wake up."

"Mmm, what is it?"

"I brought you something to eat; you've been asleep for thirty minutes."

Well, if I've been asleep for thirty minutes, it's good to let me sleep. I sighed mentally and slowly sat up. My mom sat in front of me, and I could see the sadness in her eyes. She slowly reached up and brushed my hair away from my face. Mom's face dropped and she cupped my cheek. I looked away and she whispered, "I'm so sorry, Eli." I shrugged my shoulders and I looked to my left, down on the bed, eying the plate with a cheeseburger and fries on it.

"I'm not hungry." I muttered.

"Eli, please, you have to eat something." Mom pushed me. I shook my head and lay back down, pulling the covers up to my face. I heard her sigh and she reached up to pat my head. I felt the bed move as she got off of it. My voice was raspy as I said, "Mom, can you stay in here for a while?" I couldn't see her, but I knew she stopped and nodded. I waited for her to sit down next to me again. The bed moved, and I slowly pulled the covers off and turned to lie on my back. I scooted to the middle of my bed and my mom sat down next to me.

"Is dad here?" I asked as I reached up to touch my cheek. My skin was still somehow a little hot, but it didn't hurt, just barely though.

"No, he's at work, he left after… well—

"He hit me?" I finished her sentence.

"Eli, I'm really sorry—

"You should be glad I haven't filed you and dad both for child abuse." I muttered. My mom sighed, getting a little frustrated from my stubbornness. My mom looked down at me and she protested, "Look, Eli, I haven't laid a hand on you in over a month. You can't pull me into this because your father hits you more." I sat up, wondering what the fuck she was talking about. I couldn't believe my ears. My mouth fell open, slightly, because I was just that shocked.

"E-excuse me? What do you mean I can't blame you! Mom, even if you haven't hit me in a month, that doesn't mean I can't blame you for fucking child abuse! You still hit me before! God, you can't be that fucking clueless!" I shouted.

My mom sighed and she got up, storming out of my room. She tends to do this; get up and leave when she knows I'm telling the damn truth. I growled and lay back down on my pillows. I grabbed the remote on the nightstand and turned the T.V. on. I rested my arm behind my head while I flipped through the channels. Just as I began to relax, my phone went off. "Dammit." I muttered under my breath. I reached around for my phone, and remembered that I had tossed it across my room somewhere. I got up from my bed and searched for it. Once I found it, my phone beeped, knowing that it went straight to voicemail. I opened my phone to check my missed calls, and blinked a few times, noticing that Clare had called me. I redialed her number and walked back to my bed, listening to the dial tone as I crawled under the sheets.

**_"H-hello?"_**

"You rang?" I asked.

**_"Um, I, uhh, asked my mom if we could hang out. I can't sneak out later. I can't do it, but… um she wants to talk to you."_** Clare whispered. I shifted my eyes and I gulped. I was so nervous I can hear my heart beating rapidly in my ears. I don't think letting her mom know that she was going to sneak out was a great idea.

**_"Hello?"_**

"Yes?" I asked.

**_"Eli, this is Clare's mom, Mrs. Edwards. Clare tells me that you asked her to hang out, again."_**

I licked my lips, and my bottom one twitched nervously and I cleared my throat responding, "Yeah, I asked her to hang out again, but… I was just wondering if it were possible just to… have me and her hang out." I added, a little hope to my tone. The line on the other end was quiet, and I realized that I had just gotten my hopes up. Clare's mom sighed and she finally said, "I don't mind, really. Honestly, I really don't mind if Clare hangs out with friends. It's just new friends I'm worried about."

Trust… That's all she needs.

"You can trust me, Mrs. Edwards. I'd have her home by… ten at the latest." I said.

**_"Where will you be taking her?"_**

Crap. I didn't think of that. I got a little overwhelmed at the fact that Clare's mother just said it was okay for us to hang out. Then I remembered what Clare and my plans were. I smiled a little and said, "Well, Clare lost her dog, and well, I offered to help her look for him."

**_"Oh, okay, that's great. Have her home around ten at the latest; no excuses."_** Her voice became more serious. I responded, "Yes ma'am."

"Here's Clare."

**_"Hello?"_**

"Your mom's a little laid back isn't she?" I asked quickly.

**_"Depending on what mood she's in."_** Clare responded.

I heard her hiss and I pinned my eyebrows together.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

**_"Yeah… I'm fine."_** Clare responded. I didn't bother in asking if she was sure. I heard her hiss again and the sound of a cap being dropped echoed. I think she's in her bathroom.

"You didn't tell your mom that I asked you to sneak out, did you?" I asked a bit nervously. Clare giggled and she responded, **_"No, Eli. My mom wasn't in the room when I said that. The second I said that she wanted to talk to you, she walked in."_** I sighed in relief. I wouldn't want her mom to hate me. She seems a bit nicer than her dad.

"Oh, okay. Good, so what do you want to do? I mean we can like… go to the park or something…" I suggested.

**_"Sure, that sounds nice. I just got out of the shower, um, so I should be ready in a little bit, if you want to hang out now, that is." _**Clare said. I thought about it. Do I want to hang out now? I looked at my digital alarm clock and bit the corner of my bottom lip, it's almost six. I haven't taken a shower yet… I look horrible right now. But I mean, it's Clare we're talking about… I don't think she minds "personal appearance". I sighed.

"Yeah, now is fine." I retorted.

**_"Oh good, um… meet me out front, can we walk? I think it's nice out, so we can walk."_** Clare chirped. I smiled a little and said, "Yeah, the park is not that far from here, if um, you don't mind taking a short cut." I rubbed the back of my head as I got up and started to walk around my room, trying to find something different to wear. I picked up a pair of denim skinny jeans that were just sitting there all rumpled on the floor. They looked clean so I tossed them on my bed. I headed to my drawers and reached inside to find a long sleeve black and grey striped shirt.

**_"Where is this short cut?"_** Clare asked.

"It's um, behind my house. It's a trail but it leads right behind the park." I said. God, I hope I didn't freak her out or anything. She stayed quiet on the other line. I would be a little freaked out if a guy asked me to go walking in a trail behind my house. She probably thinks I'll kill her or something… all though… I wouldn't mind taking her sister back there…

**_"Oh, I like trails! Okay! I'll see you in a little bit."_** Clare said in a slightly excited high pitched voice. I smiled. She's so damn cute. I placed the phone down on the bed for a second, just to remove my shirt and pull the one I picked out on.

"Okay, um, bye Clare."

**_"Bye Eli." _**Clare responded.

The line went dead and I closed my phone. I finished getting dressed, applied more eyeliner so it didn't look so smudged, and walked out of my room, heading down the hall. I looked around; my mom was doing the dishes. I walked out the front door, not bothering to tell her anything. I walked down the front steps and when I glanced up, I nearly fell over. Clare stood in the front, wearing black leggings, a long floral shirt dress that came down to the middle of her thighs, and a white cardigan. I don't understand why she's wearing long sleeves it's the summer, wait… never mind.

"Are you ready?" I asked her as she came closer and closer to me.

"Yeah, um, I just have one question." Clare said. I turned around and she had started to bite her bottom lip, hiding her face. I walked up to her and she glanced up at me. I blinked a few times, noticing the red mark under her chin. I reached up and tilted her head back. Clare blushed and I asked, "What happened?"

"Nothing, I fell, clumsy me." Clare laughed nervously.

I pulled my hand back and said, "Well, what was your question?" I stepped back so I wasn't standing awkwardly close to her.

"Um, there aren't any snakes on this trail are there?"

I laughed a little. "No Clare, there are no snakes. Let's go." I turned around and started walking. Clare followed close behind me. I was so nervous. Scratch that, I was really nervous. I'm hanging out with Clare, by myself, and this is something I NORMALLY don't do. This is going to be one hell of a day, especially if we're looking for a dog that's been brutally murdered, by me.

End of Chapter 6

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Oh my, what's going to happen next? The next chapter is going to be very intense, so I must warn you now, be prepared. I mean it! BE PREPARED! No Eli's not going to kill her -_-; Anyway, leave me some reviews! I love reading your reviews! It's awesome because I get like long reviews for this story! Makes me happier than a bird with a french fry *nods head*

So yeah!

Goodbye for now!


	7. begin

Disclaimer: Degrassi is something I don't own, sadly…

A/N: Woot! 200 hundred reviews :D I'm glad to see that you guys didn't get bored with this story. I actually got someone different to beta read the chapter, maybe just this chapter, but maybe for good, but hey, two betas is good right? :)

Warnings: PROCEED WITH CAUTION! It gets bad towards the middle of this chapter. Nothing HORRIBLE happens, but I mean it comes close, so yeah… don't say I didn't warn you, because I did :P

Enjoy!

chapter beta-read by: empty-suitcase

* * *

Alibis

Summary: Waiting for change to lead him down a more innocent path, death obsessed Elijah Goldsworthy finds it in a blue eyed beauty, but perhaps with an even darker past than his own.

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CHAPTER 7

"E-Eli, are we lost?" I asked, looking around the open field. I looked over at him and Eli turned around smiling sheepishly at me. I sucked in my bottom lip and Eli stammered while he rubbed the back of his neck, "I-I normally don't get lost in these woods. I think we should have taken a left at that three way intersection, not a right." I wanted to punch him in the face, because we got lost! Eli…

"That's fine, let's just turn around." I finally said. I started to turn around and Eli walked behind me. I wanted to wait for him, so he could lead the way, but I didn't see the point. We're just turning back and going the opposite direction. Eli soon was standing next to me and when he glanced down at me he stopped. I turned to face him and I glanced up at him, I shifted my eyes and licked the corner of my mouth.

"What?" I asked finally.

"You have something in your hair."

My eyes grew wide and I started to furiously run my fingers through my hair, trying to get whatever it was out.

"Is it out? Is it out? What is it? Is it a bug?" I started to freak out and Eli lifted his hand. I immediately clamped my mouth shut, and his fingers slowly moved across my cheek and into my hair. I felt the heat immediately work from the middle of my chest and up to color my cheeks red. Eli pulled his fingers from my hair, holding a small leaf in between his fingers. He let it go and I watched as it slowly floated to the ground.

I laughed nervously and Eli started walking, I followed behind him, close behind him. We were both quiet, aside from the sounds of our feet crunching on the leaves that created this trail. Eli continued walking straight and I cleared my throat. I wanted to at least talk, but Eli was a quiet person. It's odd actually; I pictured him to be talkative, I don't know how, but there's just something about his physical appearance that makes him look like he could talk for hours, and never bore anybody.

I smiled a little at the thought.

"What does your dog look like?" Eli asked.

"Oh, he's just a small light brown Chihuahua." I responded. Eli nodded and I stared at the back of his head. I decided to actually look at Eli, top to bottom, even if I wasn't actually looking at his front. He was tall, possibly 5'9". You could clearly see his shoulder blades, or shoulder wings, as I refer to them, through his shirt. My eyes traveled down to his lower back, and I whispered, "Hey Eli." He turned around, coming to a complete stop. I crashed into his chest and my foot stepped into a hole, causing me to stumble forward, tripping.

Eli caught my wrists and I whimpered. Our eyes met and I blushed. Time seemed to stop and everything seemed to move in slow motion around us. I looked into his unbelievably dark green eyes, wondering if such a green ever existed. Eli's eyes moved down from my gaze, to my lips. I laughed nervously, whispering, "Can you let my wrists go." Eli's smile slowly faded and he slowly released my wrists, holding his hands up in defense.

"Sorry." He muttered.

I smiled a little, trying to lighten up the tension that randomly builds up between us. Eli turned around and started to lead the way again. I walked closely behind him, and looked down at the ground, making sure I didn't step in any holes again. Once again, we were silent. Earlier, before I tripped, I wanted to ask Eli how long he's known Adam. I wondered why they were so close, really close to be exact. Not once have I seen a boy care so much for another like the way Adam is with Eli.

Don't get me wrong, I think it's really sweet.

I continued to ponder over this, over thinking if you will. I was so lost in my thoughts, that I hadn't realized Eli got down on one knee to tie his shoe. Me being the clumsiest person ever, I tripped, yet again, and fell right on top of him. My body shifted and I landed next to him. When my back came in contact with the ground I let out a sharp breath. I fell down hard. I groaned softly and slowly opened my eyes. Eli's green ones were staring into mine.

"You're really clumsy Clare, you know that right?" Eli stated with a short laugh.

I only swallowed nervously and smiled sheepishly. Eli held his hand out and I took it as he helped me up. We continued walking, and for some reason I really wanted to know if we were there yet. I was kind of tired of falling, and walking.

"We should be there in a few minutes." Eli said, breaking the silence.

I muttered, "Okay, um… how long have you known Adam?" I figured we start a decent conversation.

"We go back a long way… Adam's like my brother; unlike some sick fucks, he's straight forward, doesn't take crap from anybody, and he's probably the only person that understands me." Eli stated. I see where he's coming from. I hardly had any friends. And when I did get them, the moment they found about me, they would laugh and turn me away, spread over exaggerated rumors and have everybody around me, turned against me.

"We're here." Eli said.

I looked over Eli's shoulder and smiled wide. The park was huge! And since it was about midday now, it looked perfect, with the sun setting behind the jungle gym I spotted. My inner child took over, and I almost ran to the swing set, leaving Eli behind me. Once I reached the swings, I sat down in one and looked towards Eli, who was slowly making his way towards me. I removed my black flats and moved my toes in the soft white sand beneath my feet.

It felt so good.

"Um, I'm guessing we're not going to search for your dog?" Eli asked.

I frowned, now remembering that this is what we had gone to do.

"It's barely seven; we can search later if you want." Eli sat down on the empty swing next to mine. I glanced over at him saying, "Thanks for helping me look for him." Eli shrugged his shoulders and he continued looking down at the ground. He looked in deep thought, so I didn't want to ruin his moment. I started to swing back and forth, slowly. Seconds turned into minutes, and Eli continued to stare at the ground. I turned to face him and said, "So, what school do you go to?"

"Huh?" Eli turned to me. I had broken him from his thoughts.

"Your school, which one do you go to?" I asked again.

"Oh, I go to Degrassi Community School." Eli responded.

"I'll be going there this year." I smiled wide. I was a little bit excited to hear that Eli and I would be going to the same school. I really, to be honest, considered him as my friend; and just the thought of us going to the same school, was really nice. Eli smiled a little and he said, "What grade are you in?" I reached up tucking a hair behind my ear, "I'm a sophomore this year."

Eli shot a glance at me, looking at me oddly as if I said something wrong. I blinked a few times and turned away. He cleared his throat and asked awkwardly, "How old are you?" I looked back towards him and pressed my lips to a line. Was that a relevant question? I thought about whether I should answer or not. But me being me, I was over thinking the situation.

"I'm sixteen." I finally said.

"Oh, okay." Eli let a sigh, and I smiled a little.

Again, it was slightly awkward between us, the tension mind you. I looked up; it was getting darker and darker by the moment. I cleared my throat and said, "Maybe we should start looking for my dog now?" Eli lifted his head to look over at me.

"Sure." He muttered.

I was beginning to wonder if he even wanted to do this. But I don't see why not, he said it was okay; and if we found him, we could hang out more. I probably would look for him for an hour, and then we would have two hours left, well an hour and thirty minutes left. Eli got up from the swing and I did as well, following behind him.

"I'll search over here, you can look over there." Eli said, pointing in the opposite direction. I nodded and we both parted ways. I searched around the jungle gym, underneath it, in the actual play pin, and outside it as well. There was no sign of my dog. I wanted to give up right there.

My dog and I hardly ever bonded; and Mom, Dad, and Darcy didn't seem to notice he was gone… so maybe I should just give up as well. I sighed at the mental thought, knowing that the moment I pretend he's missing; my parents are going to go insane and blame his runaway on me. I looked over the railing of the ramp leading into the tall cork screw slide. Eli was across the field, checking around a tree.

He rubbed the back of his head, then his arm. I frowned, cocking my head to the side in curiosity. He looked lost. I watched him from where I stood. Eli walked away from the large willow tree and he dragged his feet across the grass, heading towards the small building where, I believe, are the bathrooms. I smiled faintly, my inner child beginning to come out yet again. As soon as Eli walked around the building, I sprinted across the field.

I peeked around the corner, finding Eli looking behind some large blue garbage cans. I tip toed behind him and lightly tapped his sides screaming, "BOO!" Eli flinched and turned around. His reaction, priceless! I laughed, laughed a lot. I held my sides and crouched over, bellowing in laughter. Eli pinned his eyebrows together and his lips curled up slightly.

"You didn't scare me." He stated.

"D-did to!" I squeaked.

"Did not." Eli smirked. I looked up at him, and wiped the small tears that streamed down the corners of my eyes. Eli shook his head and he cleared his throat. He rubbed the back of his head and said, "We've been searching for almost an hour, do you want to… go check somewhere else?" I looked down to the dirty pot hole full of murky water next to Eli's feet. I chewed on my bottom lip and thought about this. Do I want to look for my dog that has been missing for over two days? Or do I want to actually hang out with Eli?

I mentally weighed my options in my head and said, "Let's just… give in on it now. I'm a little tired. Maybe we can go to the Dot again and sit outside? I noticed there were tables outside, and we have just enough time to get to know each other better… I mean… that's if you want to." I glanced up at him, making sure he wasn't staring at me oddly or anything. Eli blinked a few times, and he licked his bottom lip, reaching up to rub his neck.

"I don't mind, I mean I didn't bring any money to pay for anything—"

"Oh no, I don't want you to get us anything, I just want to sit and talk." I quickly interrupted him. Eli nodded and he said, "We don't have to go through the woods, the Dot is just around this corner." I nodded and we both started to walk, side by side. I looked up, it's now dark outside. I swallowed hard and absentmindedly pressed into Eli's arm.

"S-sorry!" I shrieked.

Eli blushed and muttered, "It's okay."

I pressed my lips to a line and swallowed, trying to hydrate my suddenly dry throat. Eli and I were quiet once again. Every chance I got, I would glance over at him, and when he noticed, I'd immediately avert my gaze to a tree, or a car that passed by. Eli is one tough cookie to crack. He's quiet, keeps to himself, but at the same time, he's gentle, sweet, caring, everything that EVERYONE should be towards each other.

We arrived outside The Dot, and I took a seat in front of Eli. I folded my hands over the table and glanced around, making a popping sound with my lips.

"Ha ha." Eli laughed quietly.

"What?" I asked, turning my attention to him.

"Adam does that a lot, the whole popping sound." Eli chuckled. I smiled a little and responded while I tucked my hair behind my ear, "It kills time for me." Eli smiled a little and he looked around. I did the same; again, this is awkward. I didn't know what to say to him, without sounding like a prude or anything.

Eli glanced at me and I smiled, blushing slightly.

"You know, you blush a lot." Eli stated.

I lowered my gaze, slouching in my chair. I could feel my body heating up, and it wasn't because it was almost seventy degrees outside. I shuddered and sighed a little. Eli leaned forward and he asked, in a deep tone that (if it were possible) made me melt in my chair, "Did I make you uncomfortable?" I started to nervously play with my short bouncy curls; our eyes met, baby blue crashing with jungle green.

"U-um, n-n-no, you didn't make me un-uncomfortable." I responded. Nice Clare, stutter in front of him. Eli grinned, and he leaned back. I licked suddenly dry lips and Eli asked, "I know, this is probably a stupid question but," He sighed, "why are you wearing love sleeves?"

I frowned and bowed my head.

Should I tell him?

NO!

It's too soon.

I pondered, letting my mind wander.

I glanced up at Eli and he cocked his head to the side at me.

I debated, once again, mentally weighing my options in my head. Eli rubbed the back of his head and interrupted my thoughts, "It's okay if you don't want to answer, I was just asking."

"Why do you wear them?" I asked.

Eli frowned and he brought his arms under the table. And then it hit me. It's completely obvious! I straightened myself and said, "It's okay you don't have to answer that." I watched him bow his head and slowly nod. I chewed on the inside corner of my bottom lip and mentally slapped myself. I just touched a nerve. I glanced up at Eli and he was staring blankly at the table, slightly hugging himself. I swallowed hard.

Yup, I touched a nerve.

"Eli it's okay really, don't be upset." I stated. I didn't know what else to say, Eli looked ready to pounce on anything near him. Eli looked up at me and whispered, "I think I better get you home." I frowned and said, "But—it's only—

"Clare… I want to take you home now." Eli interjected. He got up from the table, adding, "It's better if I get you home early, I don't want to make a bad impression with your parents." I didn't argue, but I wanted to know if Eli was okay; I probably won't get to speak with him again, by the way he's acting. I got up and started to follow him down the road.

"Besides," He started to say. Eli turned around to face me, and I glanced up at him, "Going through the woods is dangerous at night, and the walk back home will take a while." We stood underneath a street lamp and through the orange glow I can see concern in his green eyes. I nodded slowly and Eli turned around and started to walk down the sidewalk. I followed, trotting up to walk next to him. Eli chuckled and I smiled softly. The walk home wasn't as quiet as I thought it was going to be. Eli would occasionally ask me small questions; what I do, how long have I been doing it.

I don't normally tell people this; but I told Eli I was a dancer, a ballet dancer, and he didn't laugh at me. He said that it takes hard work for that kind of dance, and he gave me some "points" because I taught myself how to dance ballet. There was a lot of blood, sweat, and tears; but it was worth it. Eli told me a few things about himself too. Apparently he likes to stay up late and write, blast music until he goes deaf for a few hours (I laughed at this), and he owns a drum set, and tends to play every once in a while; most of the time he plays when Adam is with him, because Adam plays bass guitar, according to Eli.

"Would you like… to hear me play sometime?" Eli asked.

I looked towards him and smiled wide.

"I normally play in the spare room across from mine, so um… you wouldn't be crammed. The room is pretty big." Eli rubbed the back of his head and I said, "That's fine. I would love to hear you play." Eli turned to me.

"Really?" He asked, as if he weren't expecting me to say yes. I nodded and hugged myself.

"Of course." I responded.

"O-okay cool, well, we're here." Eli stood in front of me as we stopped in front of my house. The light to the porch was on, and the one at Eli's was on too. I looked down at the ground and shifted my weight to my right leg. Eli stated, "Well um, I'll call you later or something. Bye Clare." I watched Eli pathetically as he walked across the road, and head into his house. I pressed my lips to a line and turned to mine. I walked up the steps and twisted the knob.

I swallowed hard, when the door opened. I sighed in relief when the lights in the living room were off. Normally this means both my parents are sleeping, but tonight it seemed different. I closed the front door behind me and looked blindly around the living room. I felt some sort of tension in this room, like I could feel someone's eyes on me.

As I made my way to the stairs, the small lamp in the corner next to the T.V was clicked on. I turned around slowly; my dad was sitting on the recliner, his recliner, peering through my skin and looking into my soul. I swallowed hard.

"H-hi daddy." I stammered.

"Where were you tonight Clare?"

I frowned.

"Didn't mom tell you where I w—

"Clare, answer my damn question. Where were you tonight?" My dad interrupted me. I licked my lips and responded lowly, "I went out with Eli."

My dad was standing close to me, a little too close to me. I stumbled back; the scents of whiskey lingered on his clothes, and breath. He grasped my chin and tilted my head up to him. He said, "What right do you have to go out without permission?" I clenched my jaw.

"I asked mom, and she said it was okay." I responded. Dad turned around, letting go of my chin, forcefully. I winced and watched him walk away, placing his hands on his hips. He said groggily, "Your mother doesn't have an opinion on what you can and can't do. Whenever you want to do something, you come to me." He spun around. I looked down at the carpet and he stormed to me. I cried out, screaming when he grabbed me by my hair and pulled down hard; forcing my head to tilt back. It hurt so bad, it felt as if blood was pouring from my head.

"Did you hear me?" He growled.

I quickly nodded my head, squeezing my eyes shut.

"HUH!" He shouted.

"Y-yes! I heard you!" I cried. He let go of my hair and he walked towards the couches; I watched him bend down next to the couch. I rolled my eyes; he picked up a half empty whiskey bottle. I rubbed the back of my head and said, "I'm going to go to bed now." I turned around, making my way up the stairs.

"Clare! Get your ass back here."

I flinched and continued making my way upstairs. I walked to my room and turned the light on. I listened carefully for the sound of footsteps storming up the stairs as I changed out of my floral dress, and cardigan. I stood in my room, in a bra and underwear. I walked to my dresser; grabbing a pair of blue shorts and a long sleeved t-shirt. I gasped, and spun around; using my shirt to cover myself when I heard my door being slammed open. I swallowed hard.

"D-daddy I'm changing." I stammered. I now began to wonder where the hell mom and Darcy were. They probably left to hang out or something…

He ignored me; I watched him slowly walk to my window, and he shut the blinds, all of them. I felt light headed and I started to pull my shirt on; which looked like a dress on me, since it was so big on me. I said, "D-d-daddy I'm going to go to bed now." I made my way to the bed and he stood in front of me. I slowly glanced up at him, dropping my shorts in the progress.

"You're not thinking of going to bed without giving daddy a good night kiss aren't you?" He whispered hoarsely. I grimaced mentally, and slowly got up on my tip-toes and kissed his cheek. I walked around him and squeaked when he grabbed my bicep and forced me to him. He whispered in my ear, "Not that way Clare-bear, you know how I like it." I tried my hardest not to gag. The smell of whiskey on his breath was so unbearable.

"Clare look at me." He forced me to look at him, grabbing my chin yet again. I whimpered, feeling the tears begin to weld. I blinked them back. I refused to look into his eyes. He grabbed my shoulders and pushed me up against the doors of my closet. Dad growled inhumanly.

"I said look at me!" He shouted.

I shot my gaze up to him and he smirked.

"That's better, now give me a kiss."

I licked my lips nervously. I glanced up at him slowly, through my bangs. If I comply, he might leave. I slowly got up on my tip-toes, and my dad growled, "You're too damn slow!" And before I could comprehend anything that has just happened, my father had forced his mouth over mine. I whimpered and pulled away; out of instinct, I pushed him back and slapped him so hard in the face; his head tilted to the side, like in a dramatic movie where a girl gets slapped by her lover, and the force causes her head to swing to the side.

I realized what I had done and immediately started to apologize.

"Daddy, daddy I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to-AH!" My father had grabbed me by my hair and he tossed me on the bed. I whimpered and crawled back towards the bed, my back came in contact with the headboard.

"You think you can hit me like that Clare? Huh, do you?" He screamed. I shook my head, tears streaming down my face freely. Dad walked to me, and grabbed my ankle; pulling me down so I was lying on my back.

"No, no, no! Daddy please don't do this!" I screamed. He crawled on top of me, ignoring my cries. I started to scream and squirm around beneath him, trying my hardest to break free of him. My dad straddled me, sitting on me. I kicked my feet, and let out a piercing loud scream. My dad growled, and he screamed, "SHUT UP!" His fist came in contact with my face. My vision now became a blur, but through the slightly spinning room, I could see him unbuckling his belt, and forcefully yanking his pants down.

"No." I whimpered, "Please don't."

My vision continued to blur, clear up, and then blur, and then clear up again; alternating. I whimpered again, feeling my underwear being yanked down. Being slightly dazed, I still can tell what was going on; I clenched my legs together, only to have them forced open. The pain on my head was the only thing I could concentrate on, since the feeling had somehow grew worse. My vision had finally made its decision to blur and become black. I whimpered, feeling something forcefully invade my private area. I passed out.

…

…

…

…

"Eli! You've been in the shower for long enough! It's time to get out!"

"Okay…"

I reached up and turned the knob towards the right, letting the water turn off. I stood in the shower, dripping wet. I sighed lightly; pulling the curtain open, and stepping out. I grabbed a towel and wrapped it around my waist; and turned the light off, stepping into my room. I don't really see why mom tells me to get out of the shower, in my own room! It's not like she has to use it. I removed the towel and walked to my dresser, reaching inside the drawer and pulled out a pair of plaid black and gray pajama pants.

I pulled them on; shut the door of my room, and locked it. I turned the light off and walked to my bed. After I sat on it, I blindly looked over my remote. Once I found it, I turned the T.V. on and flipped through the channels; trying to find something to watch. Unfortunately, there was nothing to watch. I went through the movie list, and scanned my eyes down the guide. I smiled a little. Tonight is a Chiller (1) kind of night. I pressed the "select" button on my remote and started to watch a movie called Vampire Diary (2).

I pressed the "info" button, trying to figure out what this movie is about.

Long story short, it's about two chicks, both lesbians, one's a vampire, the other is recording the entire story of her lover. I placed the remote down and started to watch this first person type movie. It was good, to be honest; I liked it. I was getting so into the movie, that I hadn't noticed my phone going off.

"_Beep!"_

I groaned, looking towards my phone which was charging on the nightstand.

I reached over to grab it, and my phone started to ring again. I grabbed it and flipped it open.

"Hello?" I asked after clearing my throat.

"_**Eli."**_

"Hey Clare… are you okay?" I asked a little bit concerned, hearing her voice cracking on the other end. I shifted my eyes and waited for her to answer. I turned around and sat down on my bed.

"_**I can't see you anymore… I'm sorry."**_

"Wait what? Why?" I asked quickly.

"Eli please don't make this harder for me… I just can't." Clare responded.

"Clare, please just tell me why." I almost plead. Clare whimpered on the other line. I waited for her to answer. She was crying, clearly. Clare sniffled and she said, "I'm sorry Eli… I didn't mean to call you like this; I want to be friends with you, I really do, but… I just can't." Clare sobbed uncontrollably. I frowned.

I softly asked, "Do you mean that?" I can tell she wasn't being herself. Even if I've known her for a week, I knew Clare wouldn't be this way. She's too kind, too warm to tell someone that they can't be friends; unless she's hiding something from me, something dark. I heard her sigh. I pressed my lips to a line and said quietly, "Go to your window Clare."

"Why?" Clare's voice cracked.

"Please just do it." I said, not wanting to beg. Clare muttered an "okay" and I heard her get up. I walked to my window; and pulled the curtains to the side, grabbing the multiple black strings on the right side of my blinds. I pulled them down, and lifted them up. Clare stood at her window, and I opened my window; placing my phone down for a few seconds. I grabbed it and said, "Open your window." I watched as she did this, nodding her head slowly. Clare soon opened her window and she stood, glancing back occasionally.

I closed my phone and climbed out of my window; trotting to her lawn. Clare squeaked, "Eli! What are you doing!" I looked up at her and breathed heavily asking, "Are you sure you want to stop seeing me Clare?" I needed to know, I really had to know. Normally I wouldn't give a rat's ass if someone told me that they didn't want to be friends anymore, or see me anymore; but this is Clare… she's different.

"Eli you ran to me just to ask me this?" Clare asked.

I could hear the slight "joy" from her words. I smiled softly and said, "Yes, now tell me the truth Clare… do you really want to stop seeing me?" I watched her bite her lip and she glanced up at me with her gorgeous blue eyes. Clare smiled a little and she responded, "Eli I don't want to stop seeing you… I was just… having a moment earlier, not a big deal I'm sorry for making you worry."

"Who says I'm worried?" I smirked.

Clare rolled her eyes.

"I have to go now; I'll talk to you later." Clare said. She leaned away from the window frame and closed her window. I sighed in relief. I began walking back to my house, and jumped through the window. I closed it, fixed the blinds so that they would fall straight, and closed my curtains. I walked back to my bed and laid down on it. I had gotten bored with the movie, since I missed almost half of it. I turned the T.V. off and pulled the sheets over my body.

I lay on my side, staring at my window. I smiled a little, and closed my eyes; watching the different colors dance before my blackened vision.

End of Chapter 7

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Aww, right? Well anyway, reviews are welcome :) So, don't forget to leave some when you're done reading! Chapter 8 is going to be up soon too, I hopes :)


	8. confrontation

Disclaimer: Degrassi is something I don't own, sadly… I do own Eli's five year old cousin though, Maureen.

A/N: Thank you so much for the reviews! They really made my day! Um, let me answer a question, Clare is indeed not a virgin in this story, but if you want to be completely understanding about it, she is, because since she was raped, it was forced sex, and she had never gotten the chance to actually experience making love to someone.

Which means that yes, there will be romance in this story, just not until later, I want their relationship to build before I get to the steamy, tear shedding romance scene. Anyway, enough talk, here you go, chapter 8 :)

Enjoy! Don't forget to review!

Beta-reader: empty suitcase

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Alibis

Summary: Waiting for change to lead him down a more innocent path, death obsessed Elijah Goldsworthy finds it in a blue eyed beauty, but perhaps with an even darker past than his own.

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CHAPTER 8

The next morning I woke up to the sound of my door being slammed open. The light to my room was switched on and I groaned loud, shielding my eyes with my arm. The corner of my bed was kicked and the sound of my dad's grungy voice echoed in my room, screaming at me to wake up. I moaned and slowly looked to see what time it was, are you fucking kidding me? It's seven in the morning. I asked, "Why are you waking me up at this damn time?"

"Elijah, get your ass out of bed and quit asking questions; get dressed now. If I come back and you're not out of bed, you're going to get it." My dad growled.

I sighed heavily and he muttered something inaudible as he made his way out of my room. I slowly rolled out of bed and stumbled my way into the bathroom. I'm not used to waking up this early mind you. I shut the door and stared at myself in the mirror. I opened the faucet and let the cold water run, cupping my hands under the water. I splashed the water on my face and sighed. I walked out of the bathroom after drying my face and brushing my teeth; I rummaged through my drawers to find something to wear.

My eyes shot towards the window.

"Is it raining?" I asked.

I walked to it, and peaked through the blinds. Yup, the rain was coming down hard. I pulled away and continued to rummage through my drawers. I ended up grabbing my purple skinny jeans, and a black Dead Hand t-shirt. I slipped my shoes on, and grabbed my oversized black jacket. I walked out of my room, zipping up my hoodie.

Mom and dad were in the living room, talking to each other. I asked, "What's going on?"

"We're going to see your grandmother, Eli you know she doesn't like that sort of clothing, go back and change into something more decent." Dad said.

"Dad, I am dressed decent; grandma can just die for all I care. I dress how I want to; I don't live to please others."

"Boys that is enough! Eli, just go put some jeans on or something." Mom said. I sighed in defeat, storming back to my room. I rummaged through my drawers and grabbed a pair of my dark denim skinnies. I quickly changed and remembered to grab my phone. I shoved my phone in my jacket pocket and headed to the living room. My mom had grabbed the keys and the umbrella. I followed my parents out the door, throwing my hood up.

We walked around towards the back, and climbed into my dad's white Titan pickup truck. I climbed into the back and lay down in the seats. I was tired, and since we're going to see Gram's I might as well sleep. I placed my legs on the seats, and crossed my arms across my chest, facing the back of the seats. I sighed and closed my eyes, trying to get some sleep. Since I was still dead tired, it didn't take me long to fall asleep; the second I was almost passed out, my dad had turned the truck on, and heavy metal music started to blast through the speakers.

I muttered something and groaned.

"Eli, sit up straight." I heard my mom say when dad lowered the volume.

"Mom, I'm tired."

"Eli please sit up straight." She repeated. I muttered something and ignored her demand. My mom sighed heavily screaming, "Elijah! Sit up straight!" I flinched when she smacked my hip. I turned over so I was facing the front, and pulled my legs off the seats. I fastened my seatbelt and leaned against the window, closing my eyes. The sound of rain was soothing, helping me get to sleep. My dad had started to pull out of the driveway and I snapped my eyes open.

"Wait! I forgot something!" I said.

Dad pressed his foot on the break and said, "What? Your eyeliner?" I ignored him and climbed out of the truck, running inside. I pulled my hood off once I was inside and walked to my room. I looked around for my iPod and tossed my clothes around my room, trying to find my red iPod. My dad honked the horn three times and I pressed my lips to a line. I immediately lit up when I found my iPod. I grabbed it and walked out of my room, bolting out of the house.

I closed the front door and pulled my hood over my head, running to the truck. I opened the door and climbed in.

"Finally, what were you looking for?" Dad asked.

"My iPod." I responded. Dad rolled his eyes and he pulled out of the driveway and headed down the road. I put the earphones in and scrolled through the music list. After choosing a song, I raised the volume up to its highest setting, letting the music blast in my ears. I slouched in my seat, placing my knees on the back of my dad's seat. I looked out the window, watching the rain slide down the glass. I sighed, letting the sounds of Blessthefall blast in my ears. To be honest, I never felt any happier.

I continued to stare out the window, watching the world go by. My mom turned around and she tapped my leg. I turned my head to her and watched her lips move. I pinned my eyebrows together and pulled the earphone out asking, "What?"

"Elijah, you shouldn't have your music on so loud, you'll go deaf. Anyway, where would you like to eat?"

I shrugged my shoulders, looking out the window yet again. I yawned and closed my eyes muttering, "Anything is fine, I don't care." I put the earphone back in and reached into my jacket pocket, pulling my phone out, checking the time. It's seven thirty. I sighed heavily and tried to get some sleep, but I couldn't. I was fully awake now and there's nothing that can help me get to sleep. I placed my iPod in my jacket pocket and flipped my phone open and searched through my contacts.

I know Adam would be sleeping at the moment; if I even bother to text him, he'd just cuss me out in one text and never text me back until the afternoon.

I scrolled down, passing over Clare's number. I didn't know exactly what time she would get up, so I texted her just in case. Just a simple "hey" was all it took. I closed my phone and looked out the window yet again. We had started to pull into a McDonalds and my dad parked. I stated obviously, "Wouldn't it be easier to just go through the drive through?" My dad turned around slowly and said, "Why do you always have something to bitch about? Just get out of the damn car, jeez."

I rolled my eyes and only complied. I put my hood over my head, refusing to get my hair wet. I walked into the fast food restaurant and sat in the back. My mom knows what to get me, so I didn't bother telling her what to get me. I placed my phone next to me and lay my head down on the table, keeping my arms in my lap. I watched my phone intently; waiting for it to start blinking, indicating I received a text. I felt someone's presence near me.

I lifted my head and my mom placed the tray in front of me. I looked at the empty cups and she said, "You always change your decision on drinks, so I didn't know what to get you." I sat up and grabbed the cup, taking my phone with me. I brushed by my dad who held two coffees in his hands. My phone started to go off in my hand; I blindly walked to the machine with the different varieties of drinks and flipped open my phone.

_Hey Eli, I was sleeping, what's up?  
Clare_

Well damn, this sucks. I felt horrible now. I quickly text her back; _Well if you're sleeping then, go back to bed, I'll text you later._

I put some ice in my cup, and then poured some coke in after. I opened my phone, reading the text I just received.

_It's okay really, I'm already awake, I normally wake up around this time, so what's up?  
Clare_

I walked back to the table, and brushed by my dad when he got up to get our food. I sat down in front of my mom and placed the cup down in front of me. I quickly text Clare back; _I'm going to visit my" should be dead" grandmother… not really my piece of pie. She's a bitch -_-. _I closed my phone and placed it next to me.

"How are things between you and Clare?" Mom asked.

I glanced up at her through my bangs and removed them from my eyes. I shrugged my shoulders and responded, "They're fine I guess, not like we're an item or anything." I licked my bottom lip and my dad soon came in, holding two trays with our breakfast meal on them. The second after he placed the trays on the table, he jerked the hood of my head saying, "You have no manners Elijah." I cringed at the mention of my full name. To be honest, I hate it… I can't stand it.

It reminds me too much of that character Elijah Wood, the one who plays Frodo on the Lord of the Rings. My mom claims that she had grown to adore that name, so she decided to name her first kid Elijah. I die a little on the inside, mind you, because of this. I grabbed the biscuit and unwrapped it, eyeing the melted cheese on the sides of my sausage, egg, and cheese biscuit. I sighed and took a small bite from it. I chewed on it for a few seconds and swallowed.

I glanced up at my parents who were gorging down their meals as if it were nothing. I placed my biscuit down and took a sip of my coke. My phone vibrated and I grabbed it, reading the text from Clare.

_Oh, why is she a… you know…  
Clare_

I smirked a little. Clare is such a saint when it comes to cussing. She was so quiet when she actually said the word bitch the time I called her sister one. I laughed at that time and took another small bite from my biscuit and text her back; _she's um, not very fond at the way I dress, behave, etc._

I closed my phone and stared at my biscuit. It looked disgusting; I don't think I could take another bite of it.

"Eli, you hardly ate, are you okay?"

"Huh?" I looked up, flipping my bangs to the side, "I'm not really hungry, sorry."

"Elijah, you're going to finish that, I paid five dollars for that meal." Dad joined in.

"I'm not going to eat it if I don't want to." I retorted. Dad arched an eyebrow and he responded hoarsely, "You're going to finish that biscuit, and we're not leaving until you do!" I glared at him, my eyes darkening. I glanced over at my mom and she pressed her lips to a line, her face soft. I sighed heavily, not from defeat, but from frustration. I picked up my biscuit and took a huge bite out of it, repeating the process, taking huge bites one right after the other. I swallowed before I chewed on it. I reached up and grabbed my coke and chugged it. I swallowed and my mom said, "Eli-Eli calm down, you're going to choke."

I ignored her and continued to finish eating my breakfast, like an animal. After a few minutes, I had finally finished, forcing the food down my throat. I grabbed my coke and chugged the little that I had left, helping the lump in my throat to go down. I glanced up at my parents and they blinked a few times at me. I sat there, arms in my lap. I stared blankly at the table and got up muttering, "I'll be right back." I grabbed my phone and walked to the bathrooms.

Once I was inside, I locked the door behind me. I placed my phone on the counter and glanced at myself in the mirror. I felt sick, looked sick. My face paled over. I swallowed, trying to hydrate my suddenly dry throat. I walked into a stall, not bothering to lock it, and knelt down in front of the toilet. My breathing picked up, uncontrollably. I sighed shakily, and stuck two fingers down my throat. I immediately pulled them out, feeling the food I chewed up earlier come crawling up my throat. I gagged and coughed. Tears streamed down my face as the contents in my stomach were soon emptied. I gagged again, and more tears poured down my cheeks. I moved away and leaned against the wall.

I reached up and pulled the knob down, flushing the toilet. I got up and walked out of the stall and rinsed my mouth, then washed my hands. I looked down at my phone, watching it blink and vibrate on the counter. I flipped it open and read Clare's text.

_Ah, that's understandable. I mean I don't see anything wrong with your behavior, you're just… short tempered :P  
Clare_

I narrowed my eyes at my phone screen and smiled a little. I responded to her text quickly and walked out of the bathroom. Mom and dad had already started to wait outside, and they had already thrown the trash away. I walked out of McDonalds and pulled my hood up, realizing that it was still raining. I walked to the truck, leaving my parents to smoke their cancer sticks, and climbed into the back seats. Once I was comfortable in the back I looked down at my phone, waiting for Clare to text me back.

It seemed to take forever, since I was so anxious to talk to her. I subconsciously licked my lips and frowned. My parents climbed into the car and the ignition was soon turned on. I waited for five minutes tops, maybe more, still no response from Clare. She probably fell back to sleep. I wouldn't blame her; I woke her up around eight in the morning. I placed my phone down next to me and glanced up towards the cup holders between my parent's seats. Mom had bought some water, so I asked to have some. I still had the horrible aftertaste of puke in my throat, and I really needed to remove it.

"The water is mine Elijah." Dad said.

"Well, can I have some _dad_?" I asked.

He sighed heavily, but handed me the bottle anyway. I twisted the cap off and put the bottle up to my lips. I took a few sips and put the cap back on, not bothering to close it all the way. I handed the bottle back and my dad took it. He pulled out of the parking lot and resumed our short journey to my grandmother's house. What I really don't understand is why we had to wake up so damn early to see her. She only lives thirty minutes away. I sighed heavily and leaned my head against the window, watching the rain fall heavily.

I closed my eyes, and the first thing I saw, was Clare. I smiled mentally, looking at her beautiful face. My thoughts began to wander, and I shifted in my seat; slowly opening my eyes. I swallowed hard and fixed my pants, trying to fix the uncomfortable need that decided to grow there. I swallowed the lump in my throat and cursed at myself for being such a pervert.

I shifted again and tried to think of something horrible.

The only thing that I could imagine was kissing Adam, so far it worked. I sighed mentally, in relief. Just the thought of being turned on and walking into my grandmother's house was probably the worse idea that anybody could ever think of. I smirked at the thought and looked down at my phone when I felt the vibrations on the seat. I grabbed my phone and flipped it open, reading the text. I blinked a few times and licked my lips.

_Eli, you are short tempered, but I mean I don't find it bad. But um, change of subject, I've been meaning to ask you something. Eli, is it short for something?  
Clare_

I frowned and sighed. Damn you mom for giving me this cursed name! I slowly typed my response;_ yeah, it's um… short for Elijah. I'm not fond of the name, I really hate it._

I closed my phone and twiddled my fingers together. Mom turned around, somehow grabbing my attention. I quirked my eyebrows at her, asking without words what she wanted. She stated obviously, "You're awfully quiet back there Eli, is something on your mind?" I shook my head and continued to stare out the window, watching the rain. Dad said, "He's probably thinking about the bitch that lives out in the front." I glared daggers at the back of his head.

Clare? A bitch? Hell. No.

"Why does she have to be a bitch dad? You don't know her." I muttered.

"Say again Elijah. I didn't hear you." Our eyes met in the rearview mirror and I shook my head at him.

"You're such a dick." I responded. The car had come to a complete stop. I glanced up and my dad turned around to face me. He said, "I'm going to let you off with a warning son, you keep disrespecting me, and I'll come back there and—

"What? Come back here and what? Hit me?" I shot back. Mom placed a hand on his shoulder and said, "Stop it! Stop it both of you! This has got to stop! Eli, just keep your mouth shut when your father talks to you, alright?"

"But mom—

"No buts!" She interrupted me.

I growled and slouched in the seat, digging into my pocket for my iPod. I fished it out and grabbed the earphones and shoved them in my ears. The car started moving again, and I tilted my head to the side, and closed my eyes; enjoying the loud screaming music I listen to. Again, Clare popped into my thoughts. I couldn't help myself. She's probably the most beautiful girl that I had ever lay eyes on. Her eyes were the right shade of light blue, and her skin was just so pale and soft looking. Every time I'm around her, I just want to… kiss her.

My phone vibrated and I read the text from her.

_Elijah? That's really nice, how can you not like it? I like it, it's different. :)  
Clare_

I tried not to smile, but the corner of my bottom lip slowly lifted. If Clare likes it, then I guess it's okay. I responded to her text; _it reminds me of that actor Elijah Wood, and I don't like him really… but if you like it I guess it's okay…_

The car had come to a complete stop again, and I glanced up. We're here. I sighed heavily through my nose and opened the door. I followed my parents to the front porch, and my dad turned around and yanked my hood down. I rolled my eyes and he knocked on the door, and then rang the doorbell; I really don't understand what the point in doing that is. A few seconds later the door was opened, and my grandmother screamed and hugged dad and mom saying something along the lines of "you guys finally came."

The second she saw me, she just frowned and placed her hands on her hips.

"You're still wearing those pants aren't you, and all that black. Why can't you dress more like that lovely young fellow… Mark."

"Because I'm not a stuck up prick, and besides he dresses just like me!" I snapped back. Dad turned around and he smacked the back of my head saying, "Don't talk back to your elders Elijah." I rubbed the back of my head and followed them inside. Of course, there had to be so many people here. I whispered to my mom, "What's going on." She turned to me and blinked a few times.

"You forgot? Today's your grandmother's birthday, she's turning 77."

"And she's not dead?" I muttered.

"Eli, behave please." Mom begged.

I nodded and went to sit in the empty recliner, and started to go through my music. I wasn't in the mood to be listening to country or whatever is playing in the kitchen. Just as I was about to get settled, I felt someone tap the top of my head. I glanced up and smiled wide.

"Elijah!"

"Hey hobbit." I responded.

"Elijah, I'm not a hobbit. I don't have hairy feet."

"I'm just picking at you Maureen." I laughed. She smiled wide and giggled. I shook my head at her and she started to play with her unbelievably long chocolate brown hair, which came down to her waist, while her bangs hung above her blue topaz eyes. Maureen jumped into my lap after I moved back and put my iPod back into my pocket. She asked, "Eli, do you want something to eat? Or drink? The food is already done and the drinks are served too." Maureen big blue eyes blinked at me and I said, "I can get it myself, you wait here okay?"

"No, I want to come with you! Can you carry me?" She giggled. I rolled my eyes and nodded. She climbed on my back, wrapping her tiny arms around my neck. I grabbed the back of her thighs and hoisted her up. I carried her on my back to the kitchen and I glanced around the crowded room, peeking over the shoulders of the adults in front of me. Maureen said against my ear, "The food is outside."

"Why would they lay food outside, stupid people."

I walked outside, eyeing the food displayed on the table. I wasn't really hungry, so I walked to the punch bowl and scooped some into a red plastic cup. I walked back inside and I placed Maureen down on the floor. She took my hand and said, "Eli you have to meet daddy!"

"Uh, I don't think that's a good idea." I responded.

"Awe, pleeeeeease!" Maureen shook my arm and I brought the cup up to my lips and shook my head again. She pouted and walked away, stomping her feet to the living room. I rolled my eyes and smirked, following her back into the living room. I sat down next to her on the couch, and pulled my phone out, checking for any missed text messages. I missed one, and it was from Clare, telling me she's going to take a shower. I frowned and closed my phone. I glanced at Maureen and she looked up at me with a cute mad face.

I pouted my bottom lip and she started giggling. Maureen laughed, "You look funny when you're pouting!" I faked hurt, placing a hand over the middle of my chest.

"I do not, you do."

Maureen's mouth dropped and she lightly punched my arm. I snorted, "That didn't hurt hobbit." She muttered a "humph" and got up on her knees, and started playfully slapping my arms. I pulled her down into my lap and started tickling her sides. Maureen cried out in laughter, squirming around on my lap. I smirked and squeezed her sides harder. Maureen squeaked and said, "E-Eli, stop! Ha ha, I'm sorry stop! Ha ha ha!"

I let her go and she moved away from me, breathing heavily. She said, "I'll get you back, you just watch." I shook my head, "No you won't." Maureen stuck her tongue out at me and I took a sip of my drink. Moments later, a tall man, only a year older than I am, stood in front of the table. I glanced up at him and he brought the bottle of beer he had in his hand to his lips. He's only eighteen and he's drinking, of course…

"Look who decided to come out of the house. Guess you're not a vampire after all, emo boy."

I blinked a few times and before I could say anything Maureen cut in, "Fitzy he's not a vampire! Eli isn't dead!" I bowed my head and mentally, sarcastically thanked her. Fitz laughed, and said, "But he is emo." I wanted to get up and punch him square in the face. I hate this fucker; I can't stand him, and probably never will, not even if my life depended on it. Maureen got up and she walked beside him, placing her hands on her hips. Fitz looked down at her and she started to punch his stomach.

Fitz narrowed his eyes at her and softly shoved her away.

Maureen squeaked, tripping on her own feet and she fell to the floor with a soft thud. My face dropped and I got up.

"You had to be dick didn't you, jeez." I helped Maureen up as she rubbed her elbow. Fitz snorted and said, "She tripped on her feet, I didn't do shit." Maureen hid behind my legs as I stood in front of him, glaring at him. Fitz glared right back and sighed saying, "You're not even worth my time." I turned around, and walked out the front door. I sat on the porch, and the second I sat down in one of the chairs, my phone began to vibrate. I pulled it out and the vibrating continued.

"Hello?"

**_"Hey Eli!"_**

"Hey Clare." I muttered.

**_"How's it going at your grandmother's house?"_**

I laughed and rubbed the back of my head furiously. I was getting so annoyed at this very moment, I don't think I could fucking handle being around here much longer. I responded, "If I had the choice, I would leave at this very moment. I can't stand it here." I heard Clare mutter an "oh" and I sighed in response.

"I'm sorry Eli, I wish I could help."

"It's okay Clare, really… I would take my dad's truck and just leave them here, but I'd suffer the consequences later." I laughed nervously. Clare giggled on the other end and responded, "Then that's probably not the best thing to do. If I had a car and a license, I'd come get you, but there's two problems there. I don't know where you are, and well I can't drive ha ha." I tried not to laugh at her. I glanced over at the front door when I heard it open, out walked Maureen.

"Eli, who are you talking to? Your girlfriend?"

I almost choked on my spit and Clare grew silent on the other end. I put my hand over the phone and said, "Maureen, go back inside." She frowned and I glared at her. Maureen frowned and she slowly walked back inside the house. I said, "Sorry about that."

**_"Who was that?"_** Clare questioned.

"My cousin." I responded lowly, feeling my face turn a dark red, just from thinking of the possibilities of Clare being my girlfriend. I shook my head from my thoughts.

**_"She sounds cute, how old is she?"_**

"She's five if I remember correctly." I yawned. We got quiet all of a sudden. I could hear Clare's breathing on the other end. I looked at the cars that drove by the road. It stopped raining, thank god. I don't mind the rain really; I'm just not fond of it. Clare cleared her throat and she asked shyly, **_"U-um, do you like it when people call you Elijah?"_** I thought about what to say. Hell, I hate it when people call me Elijah, but the way my full name rolled off her tongue, really sent chills up and down my spine, causing the hair on the back of my neck to stand up.

"I cringe when people call me by my full name." I responded.

**_"Oh…"_**

"But—I like it… when you say it…" I added.

Clare grew silent on the other end. I shifted my eyes and a lump grew in my throat. I swear, I'm becoming creepier when it comes to her. First I watch her, and then I have dirty thoughts about her, and now, ugh. Clare whispered, "Can I call you Elijah?" I bit down on my bottom lip, hard. My heart rate picked up, just because the way Clare says my full name. I cleared my throat and responded with, "Y-you can if you want."

**_"Do you mind it? I mean I don't want to call you Elijah, and have you cringe… when I say it."_**

"Clare," I started sighing softly, "I don't cringe when you say it… I love the way it sounds, when you're saying it." My face got really hot and I bowed my head, feeling a little embarrassed that I had just admitted this to Clare. For some reason, I could feel her smiling on the other end. Clare cleared her throat again. My heart beat rapidly in my chest, causing my shirt to move against the rhythm of my heart, my chest grew tight and I tried to relax myself, taking a deep breath, and letting it out slowly.

**_"Okay, well I um have to go now; I just wanted to talk for a little bit. See you later, Elijah."_** Clare said. Before I could say anything, the line went dead. I pulled the phone away from my ear and closed it. I got up from the chair and fixed my pants, cursing at myself (again) for being such a pervert. It's not my fault. It's Clare's; it's her fault for being so… so damn, perfect. I checked the time. It's almost ten. To think I've been here for almost two hours already. Time flew by rather quickly. I wanted to steal my dad's keys and head home. I walked back inside the house and bumped into my mom.

"Oh, there you are Eli; we're getting ready to leave now. Your father and I have to go to work in two hours. Can you start the car?"

I nodded and cheered in my head. I grabbed the keys from my mom's hand and walked back out of the house. I put my hood over my head and walked to the truck, climbing in the driver's side. I turned the ignition on and climbed into the back, not bothering to go back inside. I waited in the back seat, staring out the window, waiting for my parents to walk out. It didn't take them long; they walked out about five minutes after I turned the car on.

Mom and dad climbed into the truck and we soon started to pull out of the driveway, and head back home.

…

…

…

…

"Clare, are you done in the kitchen!"

"Yeah mom, I'm almost done!" I shouted back. I finished drying the plate I cleaned earlier and put it inside the cabinets. I dried my hands and walked to the living room, sitting next to my mother. She smiled at me and I smiled in return. It was just me and my mom today. Darcy went out with Dad to go find a job. I was glad that they were gone. I looked towards my mom and she asked, "How was your date with Eli?" I felt my face turn red and I looked down.

"I wouldn't really call it a date." I responded.

"Well, hanging out, how was it?"

"It's good, I found out some stuff about him." I turned to her, crossing my legs on the couch. I went on and on about Eli, how he plays the drums, how much he loves to write, we had so much in common. After "ranting" about him, I noticed that my mom was smiling softly at me. She reached up and tucked my hair behind my ear. I smiled faintly and sighed softly.

"I talked to your father this morning; you're not grounded anymore okay?"

I blinked a few times, now remembering the conversation daddy and I had the day before yesterday. I slowly lifted my gaze to meet my mothers. She smiled at me and I hugged her in return. I pulled away from her and averted my gaze to the floor, the thoughts of last night clouding my memory. I frowned and my mom questioned, "Clare-bear, what's wrong?" I blinked up at her and shook my head, smiling nervously.

"It's nothing; I just blanked out a little." I turned to the T.V. and lay my head in her lap, while she raked her fingers through my hair. I smiled and slowly closed my eyes. It felt really good. Moments later, the front door opened. I shot up from my mom's lap and looked towards the door. Dad and Darcy walked in. I sat against the couch, sitting stiffly against it. Dad walked into the living room and he placed a kiss on the top of my head. I flinched as he pat my head. I got up from the couch, and walked to the kitchen where Darcy stood, drinking a soda while she filled out an application.

"Where are you going to work?" I asked.

"The Dot, Peter dropped in a good word for me." Darcy responded. I nodded and walked to the fridge, opening it and grabbing a grape soda. I opened it and kicked the fridge closed. Dad walked into the kitchen and we both stared at each other. I swallowed hard and quickly walked around him, heading up the stairs. I entered my room, shut the door and locked it, which I found to be quiet useless if you ask me. I walked to my window and smiled a little, watching the sun peek out through the clouds, and light up this once gloomy morning.

I walked to my closet, grabbed an old comforter and opened my window after placing my soda on the desk. I climbed out and lay the blanket on the roof, grabbed my soda, and sat on the roof. I sighed and leaned my head against the window that wasn't opened. It felt good outside, it wasn't too hot, felt just right. I took a sip of my soda and noticed a truck pulling in Eli's driveway. I guess he's home finally.

I watched as he climbed out of the back seats, and walk straight into the house, his dad was screaming at him. I chewed on my bottom lip and watched his dad storm into the house, following after Eli. I took a sip of my soda again and placed it down next to me. I crawled back through the window, only to grab my laptop.

I sat back outside yet again. I opened my laptop after placing it in my lap, and signed into my FaceRange account. I smiled inwardly when I noticed that Eli had just signed on. I wanted to send him an IM, but the new status update from him made my heart drop to the pit of my stomach.

_Eli Goldsworthy— One of these days, I'm going to murder my parents… they just don't know when to fucking quit!_

I wanted to send Eli and IM, just to make sure he was okay, but there was another status update from him.

_Eli Goldsworthy— I'm going to go for a walk, talk to whoever when I get back._

I blinked a few times and looked up, watching Eli climb out of his window. Instead of walking, like he said, Eli started running down the sidewalk. I averted my gaze to the front door, watching his father come out screaming "Elijah! Elijah Thomas Goldsworthy! You get your ass back here NOW!" I watched Eli run around the corner street, and his dad stormed inside. I licked my bottom lip, wondering what had happened just now. I wanted to just run off and ask Eli if he was okay. But I figured he just needed time to cool off.

I looked down when I had received an alert.

New friend requests!

I chewed on the corner of my bottom lip, and smiled a little, noticing that it was Adam who sent me a request. I accepted it and then he immediately sent me and IM.

**Adam-Torres: Hey, have you talked to Eli any?**

Clare-e24: Yeah earlier…

**Adam-Torres: He just sent me a text saying he's going to kill himself… Clare when Eli talks about suicide he doesn't joke. Last time he ended up in the hospital. I'm scared! He's not returning my texts!**

I blinked a few times and swallowed hard. I looked up, glancing where Eli turned to.

Clare-e24: He left his house and ran down the street, and then turned left.

**Adam-Torres: Okay I just got a text back from him; he's outside my house now. I'll talk to you later. Bye. Thanks again Clare.**

I smiled and Adam signed out. I walked back into my room, leaving the blanket outside. I closed the window and sat on my bed. I twiddled my fingers together and looked over at my phone that I had placed on my nightstand. I reached over and grabbed it. I flipped it open and tugged on my bottom lip, wondering if it was going to be okay to send Eli a text, now that he's at Adam's house. I figured, what the hell, and started to type a new message…

I hope you're okay…  
Clare

End of Chapter 8

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So, what do you guys think? Reviews are welcome, critique, everything. So, don't forget the comments!

Goodbye for now!


	9. inner most feelings

Disclaimer: Degrassi is something I don't own, sadly… I do own Eli's five year old cousin though, Maureen.

A/N: Thanks for the reviews, this chapter is going to be um, pretty intense, so be prepared! And by intense I mean like, Eli going ballistic on his dad, and well, if you don't like reading masturbation you're welcome to skip through it, if you don't mind it, then read ahead! Here's chapter 9! I actually went back and like, fixed this chapter myself, so I didn't need it to be beta read, but that doesn't mean I'll ask my beta to fix my chapters :).

Anyway, don't forget to review! Reviews are awesome! I need all your critique! It's not cool when people_ just _read -_-;

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Alibis

Summary: Waiting for change to lead him down a more innocent path, death obsessed Elijah Goldsworthy finds it in a blue eyed beauty, but perhaps with an even darker past than his own.

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CHAPTER 9

"Eli, Eli you have to calm down." Adam repeated.

"FUCK YOU! I hate this! I HATE THIS SO DAMN MUCH! How can you live in a fucking world where people fucking hate all the damn time! My dad hates me! My mom hates me! You hate me!" I screamed, pacing Adam's room. He glared at me and stood up, placing his hands on my shoulders. He clenched my sleeves and I tore away from him, barging into the bathroom. I locked the door and slouched against it. Adam banged on the door and I brought my knees up to my chest.

"ELI! Eli open this door, now!" Adam screamed.

I ignored him and whimpered and sobbed, muttering words to myself.

"Eli, come on man open the door! You know I don't hate you." I heard Adam say.

"Bull-shit! You're just saying that to make me feel better! Everybody hates me." I muttered.

I got up from the floor of Adam's bathroom and stood in front of the mirror. I looked at myself, completely disgusted with what I see. Out of instinct, I pulled my fist back, and with unimaginable force, I punched the mirror, breaking it. Adam started to scream at me, demanding that I open the door at this very moment, but I ignored him, watching small pieces of glass fall from the once unbroken mirror. My knuckles had little pieces of glass stuck inside. I sighed and leaned against the wall, soon sliding down.

The door to Adam's bathroom slammed open. Adam crouched down next to me and he instantly wrapped his arms around me. I shoved him off, but he only held on tighter.

"Eli, please, you have to calm down."

"No, get away from me… just get away." I cried. Adam lifted me up from the floor, and kept his arms wrapped around my shoulders. I soon responded, my legs became weak and I slouched against him, my arms soon linked around him, keeping him close to me. Sobbing freely in his shoulder, I whimpered and cried, "Why do people hate me?" Adam sighed and he rubbed my back. I didn't expect him to answer. Adam normally doesn't say much when I'm breaking down. It's normal I guess.

He pulled away from me, and lifted my hand up to his face. I watched as Adam started to pull the small pieces of glass from my knuckles, blood poured from the small cuts. I didn't flinch or wince from the pain. Adam cleaned my cuts, using rubbing alcohol and cotton balls. Occasionally I would look up at him; he held a slightly blank look on his face. I wouldn't blame him… I just broke his damn mirror. Once Adam was finished we walked slowly into his room and made my way to the bed, I ended up curling up in fetal position.

Adam crawled on the bed and lay down next to me. I turned away from him, and Adam reached over and softly grabbed my shoulder and turning me to face him. Adam looked into my eyes, now glazed with un-shed tears. It's a complete shock to him, because I noticed the look he gave me, shifting his eyes at me in confusion. I hardly ever cried… it's not something I do often. When I cry, it's a practical sign of the apocalypse.

"I'm sorry… I'm so sorry… I'm sorry." I repeated, closing my eyes and choking on a sob. Adam sighed and he whispered, "Eli there's nothing you should be apologizing for. It's not your fault." I slowly opened my eyes and licked the corner of my mouth, tasting the tears that streamed down my cheeks. Adam smiled a little and he continued, "It's not your fault." I shook my head.

"It is my fault… dad hates me because… because I'm—

"Your dad doesn't hate you Eli, he's just a dick. He's trying to get over the fact that you're not what he wants you to be." Adam explained. I swallowed the lump in my throat and nodded slowly. I sighed shakily and moved to lie on my back. Adam did the same, and we stared up at the ceiling blankly, watching the fan move around in a slow elliptical. When I turned to face him, I said, "Adam… I think I like Clare… like I really like her."

"You like her, or you **love** her?" Adam asked.

I blinked a few times and shrugged my shoulders. Of course I don't love her… we've known each other for a little over a week; I can't love her already it's too soon. I sighed and pondered about this. I mean, I like Clare, a lot… but maybe it's love, I don't even know. I never loved anybody before, not counting my parents and Adam. I had strong feelings for this girl. I sighed and turned to my side, staring out one of the windows of Adam's room.

Adam placed a hand over my shoulder and I lifted my head to turn back and look at him.

"What?" I asked.

"Do you love her Eli?"

"I don't know… I don't know Adam… I never experienced _love_ before… so I can't answer that." I honestly responded.

Adam climbed over me and crouched in front of me, his eye site leveled with mine. I searched his gaze, trying to find some sort of answer. Adam rolled his eyes and he said, "Eli you love Clare… I can see it in your eyes. You love this girl, so much it scares you right?" I licked my bottom lip and sighed softly. I asked, "Isn't it to soon?" Adam rolled his eyes yet again. I wanted to punch him in the face and tell him that this isn't a laughing matter, but he opened his mouth to speak, causing me to shut mine instantly.

"Eli, love happens differently for everybody. It could happen in the first day, a month, a year, maybe even an hour. No matter how you walk around this trail Eli, you're always going to stop and say that you love her. And you know, that I know, that you know that you love Clare." Adam explained. I nodded slowly and turned to my back, staring at the ceiling again. Adam got up and he said, "Look, I know you don't want to go home right now, but… Eli my mom will kill me if she finds out I have people over without her permission again. So we're going to have to head back to your place."

I frowned.

"Eli I know you don't want to, but you know how my mom gets." Adam stated.

I nodded and got up from the bed. Adam and I walked to the front door, and he walked me outside to the front lawn. Adam waved me off and watched as I walked down the sidewalk, which was slightly wet due to the fact that the sprinklers on the lawns were on and "watering" the bright, plush green grass. I walked down the road, hands buried deep in the pockets of my jeans. I stared at the ground as I made my way back to my house. I was so caught up in my thoughts that I hadn't noticed the car that pulled up beside me, driving slowly.

"Elijah Goldsworthy, get in this car, NOW."

My body flinched uncontrollably, hearing my dad's voice practically echo in my ears. I slowed my stride and turned to the car. My dad was pissed, far from beyond pissed. I let out a heavy breath and slowly climbed into my mom's car that dad borrowed. I closed the door and he sped off. I looked out the window, watching as the world went by quickly. I could hear my dad's heavy breathing, sounding like a bull. I closed my eyes and sighed slowly. We had soon arrived at my house and my dad had parked in the driveway. He turned the car off, opened the door on his side, and he climbed out, grabbing the back of my shirt in the progress, yanking me out of the car.

"Dad! Dad I can walk!" I screamed as he drug me across the lawn.

He ignored me, which didn't surprise me. I hissed when the brick front steps of the house grinded against my back. I almost sighed in relief when we were finally inside. With all the strength he possessed, my dad tossed me onto the couch and I stared up at him with scared green eyes. My mom had walked out of the kitchen and she switched glances between us. Dad glanced over at her and I figured I'd get up and leave, but the moment I got up on my feet, my dad had pushed my chest, hard, causing me to sit back down on the couch.

"You're not going anywhere Elijah. What nerve do you think you have to walk away from your father when he's talking to you?"

"Talking? You were yelling at me, threatening to punch me in the face, and you say that's talking?" I shouted.

"Someone's got to teach you a lesson on respecting your parents." Dad added.

I scoffed and looked away.

"You're a horrible parent! All you know how to do is beat people up!" I shouted.

My mom had disappeared in the kitchen, leaving my father and me to verbally fight; this is something she does on a regular bases. My dad will end up beating me up, and once he's done with me, my mom will come in and apologize for him.

"If I'm a horrible parent, you're a horrible child." My dad said.

"Ha! What makes me horrible? You're just trying to find an excuse when there is none!" I screamed. My dad's facial expression changed from slightly amused to a more pissed off one. I felt my chest grow tight, and he turned around and stormed to the kitchen. I took this "alone time" as a chance and I got up and walked to the back of my house, to my room. I shut and locked the door, and then walked to my bed, sitting down on it after I had grabbed my laptop.

I signed into my FaceRange account and blinked a few times, noticing that Clare had just changed her status.

**Clare Edwards:** _Worried about a friend :( I hope he's okay…_

I licked the corner of my bottom lip and posted a comment on her status.

**Eli Goldsworthy—Clare Edwards:** _who are you worried about?_

I waited patiently for her to respond to my comment, but instead she had sent me an IM. I looked at the corner of the screen, watching the small window blink from green to silver. I clicked on it and read Clare's IM, feeling my face instantly flush to red.

**Clare-e24: You… are you okay? How are you? I um, was sitting outside and I heard you and your dad arguing earlier when you got home… **

I sighed.

I really didn't want Clare to see part of my home life. She might not… understand, and probably turn me away or something. I placed my hands on the keyboard and started to type my response. I pressed enter, and watched my response show up on chat.

**Eli-gold48: Clare you don't have to worry about me… and yes I'm fine, it's normal for me.**

**Clare-e24: What's normal for you? Your parents fighting with you? Are you saying you're used to it or something? I'm a little confused.**

I frowned. Clare doesn't need to know about everything. It's not really her business is it? No. I wanted to tell her but I'm just afraid to. I don't like opening up to people, let alone having them guess everything that goes on and me telling them. It's not that easy. Hell it's fucking impossible for me to tell someone something about my life. The only person who knows is Adam, and he walked into my house when my dad was beating me up, it was so bad I had to be sent to the hospital for three days.

**Eli-gold48: Clare it's not something I like to talk about, can we change the subject?**

**Clare-e24: Oh… um, okay. What would you like to talk about?**

What would I like to talk about? I crossed my legs and placed the laptop down in front of me. I looked around my messy room and cleared my throat slightly. I flinched and my eyes shot to the door of my room when someone started banging on it. They giggled the handle and I sighed softly. If there's one thing I loved, it's the fact that when I lock the door in my room; I turned my attention back to the laptop and went through my files, opening my music playlist. I let it play, blasting through the small speakers of my laptop.

**Eli-gold48: Okay, um… I already know what kind of music you're into, have you ever thought of… searching something else? You know, try listening to something else.**

**Clare-e24: I've thought about it, yeah, but you know… I never had the time to; do you have anything you would like to recommend?**

What would I recommend to her? I minimized the page and looked through my music, gazing at the death metal, screaming music, emo, and techno lists of different songs and bands. I chewed on my bottom lip. Will she like any of this? I clicked on the FaceRange window and clicked the small rectangular bar on the chat and started to type my response.

**Eli-gold48: Well, Paramore, Within Temptation, Evanescence, and Nightwish are good bands.**

**Clare-e24: Oh, I've heard of them, but never listened to them. Okay so, you gave me something to listen to, now I'll give you something to listen to. :)**

**Eli-gold48: Ehh, will it be something I'll enjoy? lol**

**Clare-e24: It might be. Okay so, you may have listened to them, I don't know. But; Marianas Trench, Tokio Hotel, The Agonist, and Skillet.**

I blinked a few times, wondering what I read was actually right. Clare listened to this kind of music? Why didn't she say anything! I had already listened to Marianas Trench and The Agonist, but I never listened to the other two.

**Eli-gold48: I love Marianas Trench and The Agonist, but um… the other two is not something I'm really into, but I'll listen to them.**

**Clare-e24: Oh good, because I would be a little sad if you didn't. The bands you recommended are really good. I'm glad you told me about them.**

I smiled a little and started to search the bands she wanted me to listen to. I wasn't fond of Tokio Hotel really… it's not something I listen to. The music is good though. I like the German versions better if you ask me. After listening to a few of their songs, I started to search songs by Skillet. They were okay. Christian rock bands aren't really my forte, but… I mean I listen to Paramore, and they're a Christian rock band.

**Eli-gold48: To be honest, I don't really like Tokio Hotel, but Skillet is cool.**

**Clare-e24: Oh cool! Well hey um; I'm going to go take a shower now. I'll talk to you more when I get out okay?**

**Eli-gold48: Okay, bye.**

**Clare-e24: Bye.**

I signed out of my account and turned my music off, surprisingly the banging on the door was still happening, added with the loud screaming of my dad, telling me to open the door. God, if I didn't get up to open it ten minutes ago, I wasn't going to now. I got up and walked to my drawers, pulling them open and reaching inside, grabbing a pair of boxers. I figured I'd take a shower too. The second I closed my drawer, the door to my room slammed open, well kicked open if you want to be literal.

"Dad what the hell?" I screamed, eyeing my door that had a huge dint in the middle and now I had a hole in my wall from when the doorknob went through.

I rolled my eyes and before I could realize what the hell just happened; my dad had wrapped his large hand around my neck and shoved me hard against the wall. I choked and gasped for air, my eyes began to water.

"Why didn't you answer the door when I told you to?" He screamed.

"I-I didn't hear you." I choked out.

"Liar." My dad hissed.

I could hardly breath, I only did what I thought was the only way to get my dad to let me go. I brought my knee up with a harsh thrust, aiming right in between his legs. My dad groaned and his hand removed itself from around my neck. Once I regained my breathing to a steady state, I had instantly attacked my dad, looming over him and I was punching him square in the face screaming how much I hated him. Again, another sign of the apocalypse, I had tears streaming down my cheeks as I continued to throw punches at his face, blood flew everywhere, poured from his nose, and now the broken skin of his cheek.

"Eli! Eli stop!" I heard my mom scream, popping up out of nowhere.

She walked around me and started to pull me away from him. I squirmed around in her arms, trying to break free of her. My dad staggered to his feet and he spat blood out, spilling it all over my carpet. I glared at him and breathed heavily. He reached into his mouth and he pulled a tooth out, dropping it to the floor. I continued to breathe heavily through my nose.

"Eli please calm down." Mom whispered.

My dad didn't say anything to me as he walked out of my room. I sighed and broke free from her grasp and mom said, "Eli you know… you can't just do that."

"Oh so what I can't defend myself when my own father is trying to choke me?" I growled.

"Eli now you can't just go off and make up stuff." Mom stated.

I scoffed.

"Excuse me?" I asked.

"You can't just make stuff up—

"Mom! He was choking me!" I screamed.

I stormed into the bathroom and locked myself inside. My mother exited the room after, and I quickly started to let the water run, letting the tub fill up with hot water. I stripped my clothes and as I waited for the tub to fill up to my liking, I stood in front of the mirror, looking at my completely scarred body. My chest, stomach, ribs, and thighs were all marked, with white and slightly purple scars. I ran my fingertips over them and smiled faintly.

As broken and scarred as I looked, I seriously couldn't help but think I looked… sane, something beautiful; I walked away from the mirror and turned the running water off and went to lay down in the tub, literally lay down in it. I sunk into the water and looked at the ceiling, ignoring the slight pain in my eyes when the hot water came in contact with them. I stayed under the water for almost four minutes before I surfaced; my hair clung to my face.

I sighed softly.

The hot water felt good against my skin and I reached up and moved my bangs from my face. I lay in the tub staring blankly at the tiles. I sighed softly and suddenly started to think if Clare was out of the shower yet. I blushed instantly, having the thought of Clare without clothes and having her hair and body soaking wet. I bit my bottom lip and tried to control myself before I had a problem to deal with. Frankly it was too late. I tried to think of something utterly disturbing.

God, seriously out of all the things I could possibly think about, I had to have my thoughts drift again to Clare, and this time when she was undressed.

I sighed heavily and emptied the tub, and turned the shower on, not waiting until the tub was empty. I stood underneath the shower head, eyeing the growing need in between my legs. I tried again to think of something revolting; like kissing Fitz, to having sex with Adam. I shuddered at the thought, but none of that helped (for some reason). As I reached up and placed my hands on the tiles, at the same time, my head bowed, letting the water run through my hair. This is going to take forever. This hardly ever happens, so I'm not fairly fond of having to "relieve" myself.

Hesitantly, I grabbed the bar of soap that smelled of passion fruit and mint. I lathered the soap in my hands and chewed on my bottom lip hard. I reached down and wrapped my fingers around my painfully hard erection. With my soap lathered hand, I slowly pulled my fist back and forth. As sick as this was, I let the image of Clare drift in my thoughts; maybe it would help me relieve this _pain_ faster.

My breathing picked up and I moved my fist faster. I kept my teeth biting on my lip, trying to stifle the small, strangled moans that threatened to spill from throat through my lips.

It didn't take me long to finish. I let a small sigh fall from my lips and I rinsed the soap from my hands. I quickly washed my body and turned off the shower. I stepped out, wrapping a towel around my waist. I sighed heavily and headed to my room. I dropped the towel from my waist and pulled my boxers on as well as a pair of black pajama pants. I walked to my window and peaked through the blinds. I noticed that Clare was sitting out in front lawn, with her sister and her parents were outside as well. I blinked a few times at the scene before me.

They looked like the "perfect family". Clare got up and she ran to her parents, and just like a five year old, she sat down on her father's lap and her father glanced up at her with a small grin. Clare whispered something in his ear and he blinked a few times. He sighed and nodded his head. Clare jumped from his lap and she smiled wide, hugging her father. I frowned and pinned my eyebrows together when I noticed that she was running in my direction. Clare hopped up the steps and rang the doorbell.

I practically bolted out of my room and ran down the hall, and stopped in front of the front door. I regained my composer and opened the front door, glaring at my mother who was giggling on the couch. I was immediately staring into blue eyes, Clare's face instantly turned a delicate shade of pink, and that's when I realized I was standing half naked in front of her, my hair was still soaked and so was my upper body, because I didn't thoroughly dry myself.

"H-hey E-Eli… um, I was just w-wondering if you wanted to come over, and well my parents want to um… m-meet you." Clare stammered.

I smirked a little. Clare stuttering is probably the cutest thing ever. She looked so cute standing there, biting her bottom lip and occasionally glancing up to meet with my gaze. I sighed a little and stood up right. I said, "Come in, I'll go put something on." I stepped aside and Clare walked inside, trying to keep her eyes off me. I mentally smiled and shut the door after gazing back at her family in the front lawn.

"Oh Clare, how are you darling?" Mom said.

"I'm fine Mrs. Goldsworthy." Clare smiled in response. I disappeared back to my room and I quickly pulled on a pair of pants and a long sleeve t-shirt. I slipped my shoes on and walked back into the living room, listening to the conversation Clare and mom were having.

"Oh Eli is nothing like that, he's really sweet to me." Clare stated.

"That's odd; Eli's not much for being nice to girls. Well he's never taken an interest in a girl for a long time if you ask me, for years his father and I thought he was a little twisted." Mom laughed. Clare blushed and I crossed my arms across my chest, leaning against the wall. Mom was talking about me like I wasn't there, and this wasn't even right. I watched Clare's facial reactions change all at once from amused, embarrassed, and curious.

"Ehem." I cleared my throat.

"Oh Eli, how long have you been standing there?" Mom asked.

"Ha, funny mom," I walked to Clare and grabbed her hand saying, "Let's go." I practically pulled her up from the couch and led her out the front door. We stood on the porch, and I glanced down at her. Clare whispered, "E-Eli can you let go of my hand?" I looked down and blushed ten different shades of red. I quickly dropped her hand from mine and Clare giggled just a little. She glanced up at me and we stood just staring at each other for what seemed like eternity.

Clare glanced up at me and the thing she did next surprised me. She brought her hand up and cupped my cheek. I lowered my gaze and Clare stated softly, "My parents are waiting… come on." She dropped her hand from my face and I swallowed hard, feeling a sudden chill run up and down my spine. I followed Clare down the steps and across the road. I followed Clare across the lawn and we were both soon standing in front of her parents. Now that I actually was looking at them, I had never felt more nervous in my entire life.

"So you're Eli." Her father stated.

"Yes sir I believe so." I said, trying to crack a joke.

Her father didn't think it was funny. I laughed nervously and soon it died when he glared at me with his blue eyes. The same eyes as Clare's but hers are much prettier. I don't like his eyes. They're cold and dark at the same time, intimidating.

"Well if you haven't been told. Clare's dog has been missing for a few days now," My heart immediately stopped. I cleared my throat, "We're getting her a new puppy tomorrow. Would you like to come along? So we can get better acquainted with each other?" Her father uncrossed his leg and stood up. I looked up at him and swallowed hard. I looked over at Clare's mother and she nodded. I averted my gaze to Clare who was smiling softly at me. I looked back up at her father and he lifted his eyebrows, asking with no words if I accepted his invite.

"Well?" He asked.

God, this guy is an impatient fucker.

"Yeah I'll go, what time?" I asked.

"We will be leaving exactly at two, and we're going to drive to Ontario. Don't be late. I'm not fond of people who aren't on time." He said as he turned around and walked into the house. I switched glances between Clare's mother and Clare, who was looking down at what I thought was the ground.

"What happened to your hand?" She asked.

I glanced down eyeing my hand that was wrapped with white gauze bands. I laughed nervously and responded, "I kind of hit my leg on something and I punched the wall." Clare frowned.

"Oh well it looks like it hurts—

"HELEN!"

I almost flinched, hearing Clare's dad's voice roaring in the house. Clare's mother walked into the house, leaving Clare and me on the porch. We sat down on the steps. I noticed that Clare's sister Darcy was still lying on the grass. She was reading a book. I glanced over at Clare and asked, "What kind of dog do you want?" Clare smiled wide and she turned to me and she answered, "I want a big dog! I saw one on T.V it was… I think it was called a German Shepard. I thought he was so cute! I want one!" I tried not to laugh at Clare's excited attitude.

"German Shepard's aren't that great."

"I beg to differ." Clare said challengingly.

"Well beg to differ all you want. I'm more of a cat person really…" I responded.

"Aw, that's cute." Clare smiled adoringly.

I shrugged my shoulders and pressed my lips to a line. Clare laughed a short laugh and we both glanced up when we noticed Darcy standing before us. I looked up at her and she asked, "What are you two giggling about?"

"Eli was just telling me about how he likes cats better than dogs." Darcy snorted in laughter. I glared at her and she said with a sarcastic happiness, "So, you do have a softer side." I arched an eyebrow.

"Why wouldn't I?" I asked.

Darcy laughed and she walked between Clare and me and headed inside the house, leaving Clare and me by ourselves. I cleared my throat and Clare looked around. She seemed nervous sitting by herself with me. I wouldn't blame her. I looked to her arms and said, "I like your arm warmers." I mentally slapped myself for being so damn corny right now. Clare looked over at me, and then back to her arms. She rubbed her forearms and said, "Thanks."

I didn't mean to blurt this out, but I let my curiosity get the better of me.

"Why are you wearing them?"

"I um… well you see… (Sigh) do you promise not tell?" Clare asked. I narrowed my eyes and she got up from the steps.

"Follow me." She stated.

I didn't need to be told twice. I got up and followed Clare to the side of the house, where it was shadier. Clare turned around to face me and I looked down at her. She swallowed hard, I practically heard her gulp. Clare stated, "My um… parents already know, as well as Darcy. But I don't need other people knowing. Promise me you won't tell anybody? Not even Adam?" She blinked up at me. I slowly nodded my head.

"I promise." I responded softly.

"I don't normally let outsiders know about this, so, be prepared when I show you." Clare said, her eyes looking at the ground like there was something amusing her attention.

With slight hesitation, Clare lifted her arm up and she started to remove the arm warmer. I frowned as she showed me the scarring on her wrists. I blinked a few times and swallowed, trying to rehydrate my suddenly dry throat. I reached up and passed my fingertips over her purple scars. Clare turned away as I continued to ghost my fingers over the ridges. I held her arm and Clare said, "Are you freaked out now? Do you hate me now? It's disgusting isn't it?" I ignored her statements and continued examining her cuts.

I thought I was bad, but this was far worse than what I have ever seen…

Clare pulled her arm away and I glanced up at her. She had unshed tears in her eyes. I stepped back and she shot her eyes up when I did this. I sighed heavily and removed my shirt. Clare blushed and quickly turned away, not want to look at me. I wouldn't be able to either, if someone I hardly knew just randomly removed their shirt in front of me, I wouldn't look them straight in the eye either. I said, "Clare look at me." She slowly turned her attention to me. I, without the slightest hesitation, showed her my arms too. Clare examined my arms and she touched the faded criss crossed scars on my biceps and forearms. She moved her fingers to my chest, gently touching my faded scars. I watched her move her fingers down to my stomach, and then she dropped her arms and looked up at me. We looked into each other's eyes and I whispered, "We're not that different Clare. I don't see anything wrong with you… I'm not freaked out… I don't think it's disgusting, and I most definitely don't hate you." Clare smiled a little, kind of nervously as if she wasn't expecting me to say something positive about her situation.

I reached down and grabbed my shirt, throwing it on. Clare continued to look up at me. I glanced down at her and she lowered her gaze, while pulling her arm warmers back on. I reached up and tilted her chin up. Clare glanced up at me with curious blue eyes. I smiled a little and said, "Your eyes… Clare they're so—

"Pretty… I-I know." She blushed.

"Clare… I made a mistake… they're _beautiful_." I watched her face burn more red.

Clare lowered her gaze and a small tear fell down her cheek. I dropped my hand from her chin and started to panic.

"What's wrong?" I asked quickly.

"No-nobody's ever told me… that—that my eyes are beautiful before…" Clare chokes on a sob. I frowned and hesitantly wrapped my arms around her shoulders. Clare sobbed freely in my shoulder and she said, "Eli… why are you so kind to me? Why?" I chewed on my bottom lip and didn't respond. I didn't know how to answer to that. I just let Clare cry in my shoulder, continuing in asking why I was so kind to her, or that I was too kind. I liked Clare… that was my answer… I liked her too much and I wanted to be nice to her, I wanted to do anything to make her happy. I wanted her to know that I do have a soft side. Clare has become a really big impact on me, and now that she's here, I'm going to do everything to make her mine. It's like, she's the light that is trying to illuminate my dark world.

"It's… Clare it's because I—

"Clare! Where are you? It's time to come inside now." I heard Darcy shout.

I immediately let Clare go and she reached up and wiped the tears away from her eyes. She didn't even give me time to say goodbye to her, and she ran passed me. I walked away from the spot where I stood and I watched Clare and Darcy walk up the porch steps and enter the house. I sighed in disappointment and made my way back to my house. I walked through the front door and my mother greeted me with a small warm smile. She asked, "How was it?"

"They invited me to go to Ontario with them tomorrow." I responded, taking a seat next to her on the couch.

"Oh how fun, I ordered us a pizza it should be here in a few minutes." Mom said.

"Thanks I guess." I muttered.

I looked towards the front door and let a small sigh escape my lips. I think I scared her. Great, the second I was about to spill the fact that I like Clare, she runs away from me. I knew this was too good to be true. To think that I may have returnable feelings from someone that I like, maybe even love. I muttered something inaudible under my breath and my mom asked, "What was that?"

"Mom, how can you tell if someone… has returnable feelings for you?" I asked, not glancing at her.

"Oh Eli, you like Clare don't you?" She asked.

"Mom I think I love her." I corrected her.

"Love? Eli… love is a strong word." She stated, her tone changing from an excited girl, to a more serious one. Like if I were in trouble for saying I love someone.

"I know… but mom I think I do love her… Adam told me that love happens differently for everyone," I stole a glance from her. I continued, "How can you tell?" Mom smiled warmly at me and she reached up and pats my head. She said, "Clare will tell you one day. You have to give the girl some time. I'm sure she does like you Eli. I can see it in her pretty eyes. You have to relax though. Eli love is… love is a very harsh emotion, and you know this from experience." I nodded.

"You can't jump into it… remember what happened with your ex-girlfriend?"

"Mom please don't mention her." I said quickly, interrupting her.

"I'm just saying Eli; you wouldn't want something drastic to happen, like what happened between you and Jenna."

I frowned.

"I know… I won't let it." I responded. Mom nodded.

"Good, because I actually like Clare, she's right for you."

End of Chapter 9

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Okay so what do you think? I hope I'm not rushing into Clare and Eli's relationship. I was going to have them wait before they showed each other their scarred bodies, but the moment was just too sweet, and I couldn't resist. So, reviews? Reviews are great, lots and lots of reviews! I should have chapter 10 finished in the next few days, so don't forget to leave me some :) First person to be my three-hundredth reviewer gets something nice!

*hint double hint*

Goodbye for now!


	10. beautiful memory pt 1

Disclaimer: Degrassi is something I don't own, sadly… I do own Eli's five year old cousin though, Maureen.

A/N: Thanks again for the reviews! I loved reading them :) Anyway, the fun begins. There will be some bloodshed in this chapter, so if you're not into bloodshed, you know horror and such, you can skip over the part. You'll know when it begins, and when it ends, anyway, here is chapter 10!

From this chapter on, it will be gory and such, oh and just to answer a fellow PMer, yes there will be romance in this story, and it will probably be the most detailed, tears will stream down your face from pure joy, sex that you have ever read, it's not going to happen until LATER on in the story. It's still the first few weeks of summer, and I want to build their relationship before anything happens.

Warnings: Animal abuse.

Anyway enjoy!

* * *

Alibis

Summary: Waiting for change to lead him down a more innocent path, death obsessed Elijah Goldsworthy finds it in a blue eyed beauty, but perhaps with an even darker past than his own.

* * *

CHAPTER 10

"Daddy! Thank you for letting Eli come with us tomorrow." I chirped, wrapping my arms around his waist. Dad chuckled and he pats my head. He responded, "You're welcome, Clare. We're going to go out to eat tonight, so go and get dressed." I nodded and broke free away from him and almost ran up the stairs. I walked into my room and rummaged through my closet. I picked out a short sleeve, mid-thigh sea foam green top with thousands of baby, blue flowers, floral top (in case you didn't notice, I love flowers) my blue jean jacket, brown leggings, and my blue flats.

After I had finished getting dressed, I applied a small amount of make-up and passed a comb through my hair, and then grabbed my purse that lay next to my bed. I bounced down the stairs, almost crashing into my sister.

"Sorry Darcy." I smiled a little.

"It's okay." She flashed me a smile of her own. Dad and mom were already walking out the front door, and we headed to the car. I sat in the back with Darcy. Dad turned the ignition on and we soon were pulling out of the driveway. I had a large smile plastered on my face. We hardly ever go out as a family, so this is really a huge deal for me. I watched Eli's house go by, and then we were heading down the road. There was an awkward silence in the car.

"Daddy, where are we going to eat?" I asked.

"To a small Italian restaurant just a few blocks from, what is it called… The Dot?" He glanced up at me through the rearview mirror. I nodded.

"Well that's where we're eating." He said.

I smiled and looked over at Darcy. She was busy texting someone, I figured it was Peter, because that's all she talks about, well it's all who she talks about lately. Peter this, Peter that. It's sickening really. I only shrugged and pulled my phone out of my purse. I went through my contacts, and almost dropped my phone when I had received a text from the one and only Elijah Goldsworthy. I smiled wide, remembering that Eli had said I could call him that if I wanted to.

_Hey Clare, earlier you ran inside before I could say anything, um… are you mad at me or something?  
—Eli_

I blinked a few times and cocked my head to the side. Why on earth would I be mad at him? I quickly responded to his text; _Elijah Goldsworthy, why would I be mad at you? I have no reason to be mad at you._

I closed my phone and looked over at Darcy who was giving me a small look. I shrugged my shoulders and she raised her hands up in slight defense. I rolled my eyes and looked out the window. The radio to the car was turned on, and I almost sighed in relief, because the deafening silence was really starting to get on my nerves. My phone vibrated and I looked down at it, reading the text from Eli.

_Oh I don't know… I'm just paranoid I guess  
—Eli_

I giggled a little and responded to his text; **_Eli you're so cute :)_**. I had realized what I said and just as I was about to erase the text, I accidently pressed the send button. My face turned darker than a tomato and I slowly closed my phone, and turned my attention outside the window. I could feel my heart pounding in my ears, but I couldn't help but smile. Just the thought of Eli's face when he reads my text makes me giggle lightly. I'm not going to lie, Eli is pretty cute. He's beautiful, very beautiful (for a guy that is).

I really secretly adored his green eyes. They were so dark, but behind those smoldering green eyes, they have a soft side. From what I've witnessed, and what I have seen, Eli is a broken person, in need of saving.

I was so caught up in thinking about Eli that I didn't realize the car had come to a complete stop. I glanced up, looking through my lashes as I unfastened my seatbelt and climbed out of the car. I walked with Darcy inside, following behind Daddy and mom. After we had been seated, I grabbed the menu and glanced over it, trying to find something nice to drink.

The peach tea Bellini sounded really good, so that's what I ordered. I placed the menu in front of me and looked around the small Italian restaurant. It was really nice, lightly dimmed, and the air smelled really good, aside from the Italian cooking.

I glanced over at my parents. They were still ordering, and whispering amongst themselves, as well as Darcy. They were talking to each other like I wasn't even there. I frowned and then my face immediately lit up when my phone started to vibrate in my purse. I placed my phone under the table and read the text.

_Yeah well… you're um… cuter…  
—Eli _

"Awe." I said out loud.

"Clare, who are you talking to?"

I looked up and blushed, realizing that all eyes were on me. I laughed nervously and shook my head, responding to Eli's text; **_Yeah well Elijah… you're um… okay I give up. _**I closed my phone and placed it on the table. Moments later, our waitress came in and she had started to get our orders for our drinks, and soon disappeared around the back.

"So Clare, you and Eli," Darcy started. My face immediately turned bright red and I almost choked on my spit. She continued, "Does he know about your cutting problem?" I frowned.

"Darcy now is not the time." Mom said.

Darcy turned to her and shrugged her shoulders, saying (without words) that it's okay to talk about my situation as if it were a bible verse. I chewed on my bottom lip and nervously started to play with the napkin that was wrapped around my eating utensils. I wanted to get up and leave quickly. I'm not too fond when Darcy brings up my situation. Because then mom and dad would ask me constantly if I've cut myself recently.

I only have that cut on my stomach, but it's slightly almost already healed. I haven't cut myself since my dad beat me up two nights ago. My thoughts drifted to the other night, where my dad raped me. My hands fell under the table, and I touched my inner thighs, where the bruising was; when I woke up early that morning (around two), I had the worst head ache, and my inner thighs were bruised and red, and a certain place was bleeding heavily.

I had to change my sheets, and clean myself up after. I didn't go to bed until around five; three hours later I received a call from Eli telling me that he was going to his grandmother's house.

"Are you guys ready to order, or do you need more time?"

I looked up, eyeing the waitress that had randomly popped up out of nowhere. I started to panic, because I was too busy smiling at the air, and looking at what I wanted to eat. While mom, dad, and Darcy ordered, I had quickly glanced through the menu and found something good, and fairly priced to eat.

"And what can I get you sweetheart?"

"I'll have the cheese ravioli, please."

She nodded, jotted down what I had ordered, and then disappeared yet again. I reached up and decided to take a sip of my peach tea Bellini. To be completely honest, this was probably the greatest thing that I had ever tasted. I glanced up at my parents, and I wanted to start a conversation, but they were whispering with each other, Darcy joined in every once in a while. I felt like the fourth wheel. I loved going on family dinners, but I hated it at the same time, because they never talk to me.

I shrugged it off and my phone went off. I almost jumped, because the texts I was receiving from Eli were random. He takes forever to answer to be literal.

_That's what I thought, so what are you doing?  
—Eli_

I smiled and tried my hardest not to laugh. Eli can be so funny if he wanted to, even if he wasn't trying. After I sent him the text back, telling him that I was having dinner with my family, I put the phone back on the table and smiled at my mother when she smiled at me. I folded my hands into my lap and waited patiently for our food to arrive.

…

…

…

…

_I'm having dinner with my parents :) Eli has anybody ever told you that you're really funny?  
–Clare_

A small frown pulled my lips down, and I blinked a few times. No, to be honest nobody has told me that I'm funny. Clare really is the only one. Well, Adam has told me a few times, but he was just being sarcastic. I sent Clare a text back, telling her to text me back when she's done. I didn't want to interrupt her family time. When I got a response from her, telling me "okay", I tossed my phone across my room

About ten to twenty minutes ago I had just finished eating pizza with my mom, and we continued to talk about Clare and my previous relationship with Jenna, Jenna Middleton. Jenna was a real sweetheart, really. She was gorgeous too, she had long blond hair, and blue eyes, something like Clare's but Clare's are prettier, brighter. Jenna and I had a really good relationship.

She was good to me, and I was to her. We surprisingly had a lot in common, nobody understood how, because Jenna was the "preppy" type. And I was that "one kid". The one kid that nobody liked, that nobody noticed, ignored and hated, made fun of. Jenna however saw behind my Goth image.

She said it was, appealing. I didn't believe her at first, but after a few weeks we had grown close to each other, closer than I did with Adam. I told her everything from the starting point of me cutting, my suicidal thoughts, my parents beating me up, my problem with anorexia and bulimia, everything. Jenna understood what I went through, sort of. She didn't go with what I went through, but she understood how I felt.

The closer we got, the more I fell in love with her.

About half a year later, we decided to take our relationship further, and we ended up having sex in my room, on my bed. It was both our first time… The next day at school, when I entered the hallways, everybody was laughing at me, more than they normally did. I wanted to know what the fuck was going on, so when I asked Jenna, she just pushed me away and laughed with everybody else.

About an hour after this happened, I found out that Jenna had taped our sex, and sent it out to the entire school. Unfortunately she didn't care about what people thought about her, it was just me they were making fun of. That day after school, I had my first suicidal incident; I overdosed on some pills that I found in my mother's medicine cabinet, and got sent to the hospital of course.

Ever since that day, one year ago, I've been on suicidal watch at the school. When I go back to school after the summer, I will be watched, just not as much. I've gotten better with controlling this so called issue. The last time I had gotten sent to the hospital was a few weeks ago, the week after school was let out for the summer. My parents and I got into a fight, and ended up cutting my wrist, deep enough to the point that I lost so much blood, I almost died that night.

"Eli, Adam is here."

I cracked my eye open, when I heard my mom announce that Adam was here. I got up and walked out of my room and headed into the living room, finding Adam sitting on the couch, his head buried in his hands. I sat down next to him and frowned, asking, "What's wrong, Adam?" Slowly, he lifted his head up, revealing a growing black eye, and busted eye vein. My heart rate had picked up and I gasped. He laughed and shrugged his shoulder.

"It's dad's time of the month; ha ha… do you have anything to cover this up?" Adam lifted his head up and leaned it back over the back of the couch. I called out to my mom, and she appeared from the kitchen and answered, "Yes?"

"Can you get me some ice?" I asked.

She nodded and disappeared yet again. I turned to Adam and noticed that he was staring at the ceiling, blankly. To be honest, it was kind of scary. Adam slowly turned his attention to me and I turned around when my mom tapped my shoulder. She handed me the bag of ice, and a soft kitchen towel. I thanked her quietly, and softly pulled Adam to me. After I put a few pieces of ice into the kitchen towel, I wrapped it lightly, and reached up, placing it over Adam's eye.

"Eli, I'm going out, Adam you're free to stay the night if you like." Mom said. Adam smiled at her and nodded slowly. He hissed when I accidently pressed hard on his growing black and blue bruise. I smiled sheepishly, and apologized. The front door was closed and Adam and I were sitting by ourselves. Adam said, "Let's go for a walk after this."

I nodded and decided to get a move on, on this. I was bored, and I needed something to do. It wasn't long before Adam and I were walking out the front door, and heading down the road, walking side by side on the sidewalk. We were silent to be honest, until I broke the awkward silence.

"Mom mentioned Jenna today…"

"That fat bitch that ruined your life in school?" Adam asked quickly.

I tried not to laugh, but I did nod. Adam wrapped his arm around my shoulders and said, "You don't need her and you know that, especially if she got the entire school laughing because of what happened between you and her when you guys had sex." I glared daggers at Adam and he shrugged his shoulders. He sighed in frustration.

"Eli you need to have some sort of sense of humor." Adam groaned.

"I do have a sense of humor, but when my best friend is reminding me about shit that happened in the past, it pisses me off." I retorted.

Adam rolled his eyes and he muttered something incoherent under his breath. I reached into my pocket when I felt my phone vibrate quickly in my pocket. When I pulled my phone out, I immediately noticed that I had received a text from Clare, telling me that she was heading back home right now. I wanted to turn around and tell Adam that we should have Clare walk with us, but I don't think he would appreciate having Clare see his bruise.

I text her back; _Okay, well it might take me a few minutes to respond, because I'm hanging out with Adam. _I closed my phone and shoved it back into my pocket. Adam and I walked in silence next to each other. Silence meaning we didn't talk to each other, but he was making that stupid popping sound with his mouth. Each time he would do it, I'd flinch. I wanted to reach over and slap him in the back of the head, and tell him to stop, but I just didn't feel like it.

"I showed Clare." I stated, breaking the silence yet again. Adam stopped in his tracks, and when I realized that he had stopped, I turned around and noticed that he was staring straight at me, kind of creepily. He asked, "You showed, Clare? Like you showed her your body? Your cuts?" I nodded. Adam was making it out like this is the worst thing that I had ever done, but I don't see anything wrong with it.

"Why? Did she ask?" Adam asked; he started walking again, and passed by me. I sprinted up next to him and responded quietly, "No she—

I clamped my mouth shut, remembering the promise I had made to Clare earlier.

"I just showed her, she asked what happened to my hand, and then I accidently lifted my sleeve up, and she saw my cuts, and then I took my shirt off and showed her the rest of my body." I responded timidly. Adam walked around, and he stepped in front of me. I crashed into his chest, and looked right up at him. He stared down at me, and I somehow became a little bit nervous. Adam is much taller than me, and him standing before me, staring at me with his dark blue eyes kind of sent chills to run up, and down my spine.

"You showed her your body?" Adam asked; his voice low.

I nodded slightly again, like a little kid.

"Why? I thought… never mind, let's go to the Dot, I want something to drink." Adam turned around swiftly and started to head down the sidewalk. I stood there for a few minutes wondering what the hell just happened, but my thoughts were immediately interrupted when Adam called out to me, telling me to hurry up.

I bolted up to him and we started on our short quest to The Dot.

…

…

…

…

"Do you like Eli?"

"E-excuse me?"

"Clare it's a simple question, do you like Eli? Yes, no?" Darcy asked as she hopped onto my bed and crossed her legs Indian style. I looked over at the door, and got up from the top of my bed, only to close the door. After locking it in the process, I bounced back on my bed, and sat in front of Darcy and said, "Okay now I'm going to tell you but you can't say anything to anyone." Darcy squealed like a little girl and she held her pinky up. I wrapped mine around hers and just as I was about to tell him, butterflies started to flutter in my stomach.

I sighed shakily.

I don't know why Darcy is asking, because she should know. She knows, well finds out to be exact, everything when it comes to me, especially if it's about a boy that I like.

"Yes," I finally said, "I do like Eli."

Darcy smiled and responded softly, "I knew it. I just knew it! The way he looks at you, the way you look at him, it's a match made in heaven." I blushed and shyly looked away. Eli and I? A match? I licked my lips and chewed on the corner of my bottom one. My blush soon covered my entire face when I thought about Eli and I being a couple.

I always dreamed of having the most perfect relationship to be honest. And Eli seemed like he would be the perfect boyfriend… Aside from his scarred body, and horrible home life, Eli is gentle, really gentle.

"Clare?"

I looked up at Darcy and realized that I had gotten lost in my thoughts. She placed a hand over mine and asked, "Do you think he likes you?" I blinked a few times and looked away again, staring outside my window. My throat suddenly became dry, and when I swallowed it ached a little. My heart skipped a beat, and it hurt, it felt as if it were being squeezed until all the blood was pouring out of it. I shook my head from my morbid thoughts and said, "I think he does."

"You think he does?" Darcy repeated.

I nodded and smiled faintly. I know Eli does like me. I'm sure of it. I don't think he would show me his scars the way he did if he didn't like me. The blush on my face grew much darker, almost like rose red. I almost passed out because I felt so lightheaded. Darcy got up from my bed and she laughed a short laugh saying, "I'll leave you to think about Mr. Eli. I have a date to get ready for." I pinned my eyebrows together and quickly asked, "With who!"

Darcy turned around and smiled wide.

"Peter." She walked to my door, opened it and headed out. I frowned and sighed heavily through my nose. I get to be left alone, again. Mom and dad went out after we got home because they had to work, or so they say. I shrugged it off, and grabbed my laptop. I decided now would be the time to surf the web, or just talk to a few of my old friends on FaceRange.

I haven't done that since I moved, maybe because I was too caught up with… family issues. I shuddered and signed into my account. I scrolled down, and clicked on the list of people who are online, and smiled when my best friend appeared suddenly. I clicked on her name and sent her a quick IM.

**Clare-e24: Hey Alli!**

I waited patiently for her to respond and I brought my hand up to chew on my thumbnail. It took her a while to respond and I frowned slightly. I guessed she was away. I was just about to exit out of the IM, until she had soon responded.

**Alli-Heart34: Clare-bear! Oh it's so nice to hear from you again! I can't believe you moved, how is it in Toronto? Is it lame like everyone said? Did you meet anybody? Tell me EVERYTHING!**

**Clare-e24: It's actually really cool, no it's not boring, and if you must… yes, I did meet someone. His name is Eli :)**

**Alli-Heart34: Oh, Eli… so mysterious *wink* That's all though? You haven't made any other friends? **

I frowned a little and resisted the urge to roll my eyes. Of course he's the only friend I made. I haven't met Adam yet, so I wouldn't really consider him as a friend. More like an acquaintance. I placed my fingers on the keyboard and started to type my response.

**Clare-e24: Yeah, he's the only friend I made so far. He's really sweet. **

**Alli-Heart34: That's good Clare-bear, you need to hurry and come visit, I have a lot to tell you! But I have to go now, my parents will be home in a little bit, and I don't want to get into trouble again. Call me some time! Bye!**

Before I could respond, Alli had already logged out. I muttered incoherent words, and decided that I should probably go for a walk. I hadn't walked in a few days. I quickly got up from my bed and went to grab something comfortable to wear; which was only just a pair of loose pants, a spaghetti strap with a loose t-shirt like jacket over, and some running shoes. After I got dressed, I grabbed my IPod, and bounced down the stairs, brushing by Darcy's room.

"Darcy I'm going to go walking! I'll see you in a little bit." I shouted.

I heard her mumble something, but I continued out the front door. I pulled my short hair into a ponytail, put my ear buds in, and started to blast my music, and then started to jog down the sidewalk.

…

…

…

…

"Since when do you drink vanilla milk shakes?" Adam asked for the umpteenth time. I glanced up at him, my lips still wrapped around the straw. I blinked at him a few times, curiously wondering why he was asking so many questions today. I didn't answer him only continued to practically chug down my milkshake.

"You don't drink those," Adam continued, "you remember all the fat that's in those?" I pulled my lips away from the straw and stared down into the drink. My face dropped, and I pushed the glass away. Adam's eyebrows quirked up and he shrugged. He grabbed my half empty drink and chugged the rest of it. I glared at him and then looked down at the plate of fries in front of me, which were outrageously drowned in ketchup. I reached to grab one, and when I did, I ended up examining it.

Eating one fry wouldn't do anything right? It's not like I'll die of it… I popped it into my mouth and chewed slowly on it. Adam looked up at me and then down at my fries. I swallowed and looked up at him, cocking my head to the side a little. Adam turned his attention to the side, and I took this chance to down a few more fries, somehow me being sneaky didn't work because I ended up getting ketchup around my mouth.

I grabbed a few napkins and wiped my face and Adam said, "Isn't that Clare's sister?" I looked over to where he was looking, and frowned, watching her walk in with Peter. I grimaced when she spotted me and started to head in my direction.

"Hey Eli." Darcy stated.

I smiled lightly and started to pick at my fries, poking them with my fork.

"Clare likes you." She said.

I looked up when she said this, and my face instantly turned red. Clare likes me? I tried not to madly grin, but I just couldn't help it. My stomach began doing backflips and my heart rate increased.

"I can't believe it though, how can Clare like someone like you. You're so weird." Darcy added. I glanced up at her and she turned to walk towards the counter. I frowned and blinked a few times. I clenched my fist and bowed my head, trying to hide the anger that burned in my eyes. Darcy is such a damn BITCH. I swear one of these days…

"Eli!"

"Huh?" I looked up, not realizing that I had dozed off.

"Are you going to eat the rest of your fries?" Adam asked.

I looked down at my half eaten plate and shook my head, pushing the plate towards him. As Adam started to chow down on it, I turned my attention back to Darcy, and she glanced over at me, and then waved lightly. Peter turned around and he smiled a little at me. My attention averted back to Adam and he had just finished eating the rest of my fries. I grimaced, and wrinkled my nose.

"That's nasty." I muttered.

"What, you were eating them too, unless you're going to go throw them up now." Adam responded.

That's it!

"Adam what the **_fuck_** is your problem!" I screamed. Adam blinked a few times, taken aback from my sudden outburst. I didn't bother in waiting for him to respond, I only bolted towards the back where the bathrooms are. I walked inside and locked myself in the bathroom. I don't fucking get it! What the hell is wrong with him! He never was this way before. God… I tried to calm myself, taking deep breaths. I exhaled and sighed shakily.

I walked out of the bathroom, and bumped into someone.

"Sorry—

"Watch it emo boy!" Darcy hissed. My eyes glared at her, watching her enter the girl's bathroom. I glanced around, averting my gaze back towards the front of the café, and then back to the bathrooms. I licked the corner of my lip and walked to the girl's bathroom, opened the door and walked in, finding Darcy washing her hands. She didn't notice me until I had locked the main door. Her brown eyes glanced at me through the mirror and she turned around, placing her hands on her hips.

"What are you doing in here?" This is the girl's bathroom, unless… it's true what people are saying." Darcy smirked.

I laughed sarcastically, "Oh you're really funny Darcy, really funny." I walked up to her, and grabbed her throat with one hand, and shoved her hard against the wall. She whimpered and chokes, and I tightened my grip around her little neck. I smiled a little, watching her eyes water and her face turn red. She started to kick her feet and I crushed my body closer to hers, my lips inches from her ear. I leaned closer and whispered darkly, "I don't appreciate the way you talk to me Darcy, if you don't quit your shit, I'll cut that pretty little tongue right out of your mouth, and then shove it down your throat. Would you like that?"

I pulled away and she shook her head quickly. The grip around her throat tightened and she whimpered telling me to please let her go. I smirked and dropped her, she slid down against the wall, holding her neck and coughing relentlessly. I stared down at her, with a dark emotion clouding my eyes, making them look darker than normal. She gagged and crawled up to the sink, turning the faucet on, and cupping her hand. She gathered some water in her hands and brought it to her lips.

I squatted down to her height when she moved away from the little porcelain sink. She stared up at me, frightened.

"If you tell anyone about this, I'll make your life a living hell, you got that?" I asked.

Darcy nodded quickly and I got up and walked out of the bathroom, leaving her to tend to herself. Once I was in the view of everybody, I had noticed that Adam wasn't around. I blinked and looked around the café, knowing all too well that I looked kind of ridiculous standing there in the middle of the way, looking for someone who I couldn't seem to find.

"Hey Eli, are you looking for that Adam kid?"

Peter walked up to me and I nodded faintly.

"He left right after you disappeared in the bathroom. He said something about his mother calling." Peter stated. I sighed and reached up to clench my hair. Before I could let Peter continue, I bolted out of The Dot, and headed down the sidewalk to walk back home. Fuck Adam, I don't fucking need him, that asshole.

"Eli! Hey Eli!"

I looked up from the ground and noticed Clare was running up to me. She stood in front of me, and crouched over, placing her hands on her knees as she tried to catch her breath. When Clare stood upright, I couldn't help but think that she looked very… alluring. I don't know how someone who was sweaty and tired could look so damn great, but Clare… she did look very—good. I smiled at her faintly and returned it, showing her pearly whites.

"Out for a run?" I asked.

"Y-yeah, I just ran around this block for the third time. It's tiring ha-ha. I was just about to head home now, do you want some company?" Clare asked. I shrugged my shoulders and walked around her. Clare turned tail and she stood next to me.

"I um… saw Adam earlier; he looked a little upset, well mad." Clare said.

"I don't even know, we were hanging out and he said some awful things, I got mad and disappeared for a few minutes, and then when I exited the bathroom, he was gone too." Clare frowned and she placed a hand on my shoulder. I glanced over at her and she was smiling up at me. I smiled my response and Clare turned and started walking backwards in front of me. She said, "You know, I don't normally say this to a guy but, Eli you have a really nice smile."

My face grew hot and I looked away. Clare giggled and then she squeaked. I turned my attention to her, and noticed that she was on the ground.

"Ouch." She muttered.

I rolled my eyes and held my hand out so she can get up. Clare laughed nervously and she grabbed my hand and said, "I'm very clumsy." I nodded, agreeing with her. Clare and I started walking again and every chance I got; I would look over at her. She was looking at the new scrape like cut on her palm. It was slightly bleeding and she frowned, her teeth biting on her bottom lip. God, when Clare does this, she has no idea how provocative it looks.

"Crap, it's starting to sting." Clare whined.

I stood in front of her, and took her hand in mine. I held it close to my face, and whispered, "Don't get freaked out okay?" She blinked a few times and I watched her throat move as she swallowed. Clare didn't know what I was going to do, but she only nodded her head. I brought her palm up to my mouth and I wrapped my lips around the cut, and sucked the blood into my mouth. Clare's cheeks turned pink when I looked up at her, my lips still around her cut.

I pulled my mouth away and spat the blood out, and Clare's head followed. She cleared her throat and I wiped the remaining spit off her hand. She muttered, "Thanks it um… doesn't hurt anymore." I nodded and watched her walk around me, I soon followed of course. I was standing behind her, walking very slowly. Me being a guy, I had started to check her out, uncontrollably. I didn't want to, but Clare's body was meant to be looked at.

She had a slightly curvy figured, which I thought to be very sexy.

"Hey Eli." Clare said.

"Yeah?" I responded, picking up the pace of my strides so I can stand next to her.

"Tomorrow, when you come with us to Ontario, can you sit with me in the back?" Clare looked up at me. I blinked a few times and soon nodded. Is that even a question? A sigh spilled through my lips and Clare smiled wide, she had instantly wrapped her arms around my neck and I returned the hug too. She squealed, "Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!" She's so damn cute. My lips curled up and I flashed a genuine smile, one that she has probably only seen.

Just when I thought this could get better, a car pulled up next to us.

"Clare-bear!" We both turned to face the person who just called out to Clare; unfortunately it had to be her angry father. The look in his eyes kind of scared me. Clare blushed and she swallowed hard whispering, "Eli I'll talk to you later." I nodded and watched her walk by me, her shoulder brushed mine, and she climbed into the car. I watched her father speed off, creating black skid marks on the road. Great. I shoved my hands into the pockets of skinny jeans and started to make my way back home.

…

…

…

…

"What were you doing with that boy?"

"I was running, and I bumped into him." I responded honestly. My dad snorted and I rolled my eyes and looked out the window. Dad's back to his old self again. I frowned and looked at the side mirror, feeling a little bad that I had left Eli walking by himself. I wanted to tell my dad to stop so he can turn around and go offer Eli a ride, but I knew that would be hopeless idea.

"So, tomorrow, I expect you to be on your best behavior in front of Eli, I don't want anything to happen, he seems like a nice boy, and we don't need you acting up in front of him." Dad said.

"Daddy, you know I never act up, unless you and mom decide to say something stupid or irrelevant to me." I responded, crossing my arms across my chest and slouching in my seat. Dad scoffed and he pulled up into my driveway. I climbed out of the car and headed to the front door. When I reached to open it, the door was locked, so I had to wait for dad to open it. He was walking slow like a sloth and to put it frankly, I was a little scared.

Dad reached into his pocket and he fished out the house key, and unlocked the door. I walked inside and headed to the kitchen so I could get something to drink. I opened the fridge and grabbed a soda from the bottom drawer. After slamming the fridge shut, I opened the soda and chugged it down, and sighed heavily. It felt so good when the cold liquid ran down my throat. As I made my way out of the kitchen, I had crashed into my dad's chest.

I slowly looked up at him and she had this ugly, grimacing smirk on his face. I muttered my apology and walked around him, only to have him turn around and grab my shoulder. I stopped and turned my head to face him. Dad said, "Where are you going?"

"I was going to go take a shower, I smell like sweat." I responded quietly. Dad muttered something under his breath and he turned me to face him. He shoved me up against the wall and crushed his body closer to mine. I whimpered and I dropped the soda can from my hand and turned away when his head fell to the crook of my neck. I tried my hardest not to throw up when I felt his tongue lick up and down my neck. He whispered, "Your skin is so soft, tastes so nice." I pushed him away and quickly sprinted up the stairs.

Surprisingly, I didn't hear him scream or shout for me to come down stairs, which is good. I grabbed a clean pair of very loose pink plaid pajama pants, and a matching thin long sleeve top as well as underwear of course. I removed my clothes; well actually I nearly ripped them off. I turned the shower on, and jumped in, not really caring if the water was warm or not. The water was really cold; it hit my skin like a thousand knives.

I shuddered and soon relaxed when the water started to warm up. I sighed and pulled the ponytail holder from my hair, and then soaked my hair under the water. Once it was thoroughly soaked, I grabbed my shampoo and started to furiously scrub the thick liquid into my scalp, creating frothy like sudsy bubbles. Once my hair was cleaned, I had rinsed the soap out, and then grabbed the bar of soap, and wasted no time in scrubbing it against my neck, trying to get the essence of my dad off my skin.

Just the thought of him doing that, again sent uncontrollable chills to run all over my body, spreading like a wildfire. And it wasn't the good kind of chills either. It made me feel disgusting, used, worthless… My neck was probably already burning red, but I didn't care. I washed the rest of my sticky, sweaty body and then turned the shower off. I stepped out, and walked out of my bathroom, wrapping a towel around my body.

I ruffled a smaller pink, fluffy towel in my hair, trying to damp my hair.

"Clare—are you decent?"

"U-uhh… Just a minute!" I shouted.

I had quickly pulled my clothes on and plopped myself on the bed, and then turned my T.V. on. The door to my room opened and in walked my mother, and father. I blinked a few times, wondering when my mother came home. She probably arrived while I was in the shower.

They grabbed the remote and put the T.V. on mute. I blinked a few times and cocked my head to the side, curiously looking at them.

"Your father and I want to talk to you." Mom said.

"About?" I asked.

They looked at each other and then back at me. I quirked one of my eyebrows up and said, "Cut to the chase mom and dad."

"We want to talk to you about Eli, your father and I met up with his mother, and we believe that… he isn't a good person for you to be walking around with, alone." Mom said.

"Excuse me?" I asked, trying not to believe that they were actually telling me this.

"Eli is a bad kid; he's a sick, ill-mannered kid. He's a bad influence for someone like you." Dad joined in. I opened and closed my mouth and crossed my arms across my chest.

"Someone like me?" I repeated.

Mom and dad nodded in unison, and I got up from my bed and walked to my window, staring right out it; I was actually staring down at Eli's house. I saw him walking around the corner, and he was now walking up the steps to his house, he disappeared inside. I frowned and decided to stick up for myself and then turned around, placing both my hands on my hips.

"You know, I don't really think it's okay for you guys to choose my friends for me. I don't believe Eli is a bad influence with me, because he hasn't done anything to me to make me think otherwise. Eli is gentle, and sweet, he's really nice and I like him, so I'm not going to say 'okay mom, okay dad, you can choose my friends'. Because, that's what you're doing!," I had begun to shout, "every single time I am happy or find a nice friend, you guys always tell me I can't be friends with him or her! Well not anymore! I'm going to be friends with Eli, whether you like it or not! Now get out of my room!"

For once, they hadn't needed to be told twice, mom and dad shockingly got up and they made their way out of my room. I smiled in complete victory and walked to my door to close and lock it.

…

…

…

…

"What happened between you and Adam?"

"He left, I don't know where he is, I'm going to go play, don't interrupt me okay?"

I walked passed my mother and headed down the hall, instead of turning to the right, I turned to the left and entered the fairly large room, it wasn't that much bigger than mine, and it had splattered black paint on the walls and large speakers, a drum set, and an amp system. I walked to the long stand that held over fifty CDs and I grabbed the one labeled Saosin. I made my way to the CD player with the large speakers sitting next to it, and I popped the CD in.

_Meow!_

I pinned my eyebrows together just as I was about to press play, I heard that annoying sound again.

_Meow, meow!_

"What the fuck?" I walked to the small window and looked straight outside, finding a cat sitting atop of a fence, its tail swung from side to side. It looked like it had horrible balance because it would occasionally topple over. I laughed, I was waiting for the little fucker to fall over, but it instead it jumped down and sat on the large blue trashbin. I walked back to the CD player and before I could press play, the cat started it's annoying meowing.

_Mew, mew, mew, meow! Meow!_

I sighed heavily and walked to the window, and opened it.

This felt like a repeat when I shouted at the damn dog to shut the fuck up, but instead, I left the window open, and the cat jumped off the trash bin, and hopped into the window sill. I smiled a little, and ran my hand down from the top of its head, and then down it's back. I picked the cat up, just to make sure what gender it was, surprisingly it was a she. I set her down, and started to pet her again. Her back arched up against my hand, and I felt her purring vibrating throughout her black and white body.

_Meow!_

"Fucking cat." I grabbed the window and slammed it down on its body, and it cried out. I did it again, only harder and my lips curled up as I watched the blood splatter all over the window, squirting out of its slightly dismembered head. I stopped, and looked at the broken, bloody body hanging off the window sill, her head was still attached to her body, but I could clearly see the limbs and veins trying to hold together. The blood was pouring heavily down to the carpet and the wall.

I pushed it out, and watched it fall behind the bushes underneath my window.

I took my shirt off and wiped the blood off the wall and tossed it in the open trashcan on the side of my yard.

I closed the window and walked to go play my CD. The sounds of Saosin blast in the room and I had picked up my black and red drumsticks and started to furiously play along with the music, not paying any attention to the rotten, bloody smell that lingered in the air.

End of Chapter 10

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God, that was long! So, I hope you guys aren't too disturbed, because after this chapter it's going to get much, much worse. So, reviews? My 300th reviewer gets a special treat! A very special treat X3

Goodbye for now!


	11. beautiful memory pt 2

Disclaimer: Degrassi is something I don't own, sadly… I do own Eli's five year old cousin though, Maureen.

A/N: Thank you so much for the reviews! I got 32 for the last chapter! Woot! Okay, now that I'm rambling, I might as well answer those questions that you guys have been asking me in those reviews :)

_1. Where do you come up with these things?_ Well, I'm really quite morbid actually, the animal abuse, yeah, I'm pretty morbid. But, don't get me wrong, I love animals, hell I have a dog of my own, so no, ha ha I don't go around abusing animals, I'm not that psycho. The other stuff, Eli and Clare's cutting, bulimia and anorexia, and their abusive fathers; it's all from experience, no I don't get abused by my father, that was just added in there to make the story more interesting, but the cutting, anorexia and bulimia, that's all experience. The whole thing with Eli, it's more over towards my friend's side, he gave me permission to write about it, well he sort of suggested it, so there you go, and I hope this answered your question.

_2. How long do you think this story is going to be? _To be completely honest, this story, I'm hoping, is going to be very long, possibly thirty chapters at the most, because Eli and Clare still have their relationship to develop, there's going to be a kiss soon, but not until later on, and I mean like probably ten chapters from here, maybe less, depends on how long my chapters get.

3. _Is Fitz Eli's cousin?_ No, Fitz is not Eli's cousin, they're just old friends, old rivals, it will make more sense later on down the road of this story :)

I hope I answered your questions! Oh and um, I got a review and kind of didn't like the way it sounded, I'm not saying names, but I would kindly ask you to NOT say stuff like, "Oh Adam is gay for Eli? Blah, blah, blah, that's hilarious" or "that's funny! LAUGH OUT LOUD" it's not nice if you ask me… kind of offending. Anyway, here you are chapter 11!

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Alibis

Summary: Waiting for change to lead him down a more innocent path, death obsessed Elijah Goldsworthy finds it in a blue eyed beauty, but perhaps with an even darker past than his own.

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CHAPTER 11

About an hour had gone by, and that horrible smell, grew fouler. I had to stop playing and start cleaning up the mess, trying to get the stain of blood off the wall. It didn't work out as well as I'd hoped, because the wall was still stained; it was a pink contrast against the white paint. I mentally cursed at myself while I dumped the dishrag I surprisingly found in the bathroom of the room I was in, inside the bucket full of Clorox bleach.

"Eli! Eli what is that smell? Did you die or something?" My mom shouted from behind the door.

"N-no mom, it's nothing, I'll be out in a few minutes." I responded shakily, hoping she wouldn't come in. As if my wishes were answered, Mom had walked away, leaving me alone. After I was finished cleaning up the mess, I sprayed the room with some air freshener and sighed a little, looking around the room before I exited. It was dark when I walked out, all the lights were off. I walked to my room and flipped the light switch on.

I walked to my dresser and grabbed a fresh pair of clothes, and then headed to the bathroom. I needed a shower, I smelled like a dead cat. Peeling my clothes off, I quickly jumped into the shower to wash the scent of dead cat off me. The warm water felt so damn good on my skin. I closed my eyes and tilted my head back, letting the water hit my face. While in the shower, I had suddenly remembered that I will be going out with Clare tomorrow.

Well, Clare and her family.

I grabbed the shampoo and started to wash my hair. As I did this, the thoughts of what I had done to Darcy earlier today drifted into my head, and I couldn't help but smirk. Her face was so damn priceless; she's such a stupid bitch. But, I had to be nice to her tomorrow, well that's if she's nice to me. I do have the tendency to snap at people, even in front of the parents, and I don't want to make a wrong impression, or have Clare stop liking me.

After I rinsed the soap out of my hair, I washed my body, and then stepped out of the shower. I quickly got dressed, not bothering to dry myself off. I hopped on my bed and pulled my laptop off the nightstand and placed it in my lap. I signed into my account after checking the time. I couldn't believe that it was nine o' clock already.

I was signed into my FaceRange account and my face lit up when I had gotten a message, it was from Clare. I smiled wider and clicked on it.

_Subject: Hi  
Message between: Eli and Clare_

_Hi Eli,_

_Um…Darcy talked to me today. She said that you and her had a conversation, but she wouldn't tell me what it was about, her neck is bruised, like someone was choking her. She wouldn't tell me what happened, do you know what happened? I didn't want to call you and ask you, because then she would be listening on my conversation, so, yeah could you tell me?_

_Clare_

_P.S. Darcy begged me not to ask you, or talk to you about it -_-;_

I cleared my throat and sighed heavily through my slightly parted lips. Darcy, Darcy, Darcy. You're in for the worst tomorrow, you dumb bitch. I didn't want to hurt her, but if Darcy is going to drop hints, I might as well do something to shut her ass up. I was just about to respond to her message until Clare sent me another message; I didn't understand why she couldn't have just sent me an IM.

_Subject: Hi  
Message between: Eli and Clare_

_Oh and just saying, I can't talk much, but I'm really excited about tomorrow :) You have no idea how excited I am to hang out with you for the entire day, would you mind helping me pick out the right dog? I mean I want a German Shepherd no doubt, but I want a certain one, it's all black and well, yeah I understand if you don't want to, but you know I want your help, it will be great :)_

The smile that was plastered on my face hadn't disappeared. Of course I want to help Clare. I'm going tomorrow for that reason of course. And to top it all off, we're going to sit in the back together, which means we'll be sitting close to each other. I yawned, and moved the mouse to the small rectangular box that had the "reply" word on it in small white letters. I clicked on it and started to type my response.

_Subject: Hi  
Message between: Eli and Clare_

_Hey Clare, um just wanted to say that yes, I would be glad to help you pick out a dog, and that I am too glad that I will be hanging out with you. As for the conversation with Darcy, well she was just telling me that you admitted to liking me, and then she mentioned something about not understanding why you would be interested in someone like me. Which to be honest Clare, I'm really confused, I mean I'm glad that…well, you like me because I like you too, a lot to be honest, and I'm just…I don't understand why you like me…_

_I don't seem like your type, I'm scarred…I live with people who don't give two shits about me; my only friend is a guy (who I believe is in love with me) and I have an awkward fascination with death. I don't open up to people, I don't think I'm good looking, because every girl that I (surprisingly) ever come across to, they say I'm either cute, gorgeous, or my eyes are just amazing. I don't understand Clare…why do you like me? What's so great about me…?_

After I sent the message, I realized how off subject it was, and regretted sending it to her. It was too forward… I told her my fascination with death… god dammit, this is going to suck. But my only problem was, I really don't understand why Clare would make me be this way. When I took an interest in a girl, if she didn't like me in return, I'd move on into my regular routine; isolate myself from the world, hang out with Adam, play my drums, masturbate (when I wanted to), take showers, brush my teeth, stay up until three in the morning and write, sleep, and start all over again.

Clare on the other hand, she's different.

She's not like Jenna… she's not like any girl that I have met. She's amazing. She's perfection. She's delicate, special, someone I want to have. I'm not going to lie, I do have some sort of obsession with her, and I obsess about Clare all the damn time. Every single minute, I'm thinking about her, every single damn time. When I'm sleeping, she's in my dreams. When I'm eating, she's in my thoughts. When I'm writing, it's all about her. When I'm in the shower, I think about her…

It's gone too damn far; maybe I should just forget her… No… I can't forget Clare. She's the first person to ever accept me for me, besides Adam, but Adam is just my friend. Well, I should've been clearer; Clare is the first girl, since Jenna, to ever accept me, for me.

The conversation I was having in my head had been interrupted when I received a message back from Clare, here it goes. I let out a heavy sigh and started to read through it.

_Subject: Hi  
Message between: Eli and Clare_

_…_

_Eli that was um, that was really off subject ha ha, but I'm not going to stop talking about it, now that we're talking about this, we might as well get it off our chests right? Eli, I like you because I think you're great, you're the only boy that I know that likes me for me, and doesn't seem to be scared about how I look. You somehow make me feel beautiful, even though I'm not. You make me feel pretty, even though I think I'm ugly, I have scars on my body that looks like I had barbed wire wrapped around my wrists. Everybody who has seen my scars run away… but you didn't…_

_But you showed me yours, and Eli to be honest, as broken and as scarred as you are, you're beautiful too… You're really beautiful; you're like… an angel… I think you have eyes that can stop people from walking; I think you have hair that is much silkier and softer than mine. Your body is far from perfect, even with the faded scars. You're so kind, you're really sweet. I didn't think that it was possible for a guy to be as sweet as you, but you proved me wrong._

_My question is… how you could be interested in me. I'm fat, I'm ugly…I don't think my eyes are beautiful, I don't know how you can like me Eli, even though…I like you so much; I really do Eli, no matter if it's been a little over a week since we first met…I really do like you. I guess I'm attracted to you because we're both the same in a way…_

Both the same?

How can Clare and I be the same, aside from the scars? I don't believe she has abusive parents, not as abusive as mine. I do suspect they hit her, but you know… parents spank their kids, so I'm pretty sure Clare gets spanked every once in a while or something… I think she means we're both the same because we're both broken people. Clare cuts for a reason, but I don't know why. When she showed me her scars, I couldn't help but think she looked damn beautiful.

Those scars she has are because of memories, or recent activities with old friends, parents, and her sister. I can't believe how low her self-esteem is. Clare is just so beautiful. I didn't even believe that someone could be that damn gorgeous, until I saw her. She's far from fat, Clare is damn beautiful, and I loved her body. I wish I could make her see that she's… perfect. I would spend so much time just admiring her body. I'd kiss her scarred skin until she knows that she's the definition of beauty.

I was beginning to grow a little tired, so my response to her message was only four words.

_Subject: Hi  
Message between: Eli and Clare_

_Clare… you're damn beautiful…_

…

…

The next morning, I had woken up extra early to get ready to go out with Clare and her family. I had just finished pulling on one of the many leather jackets that I own. I buttoned my black skinny jeans, zipped them, and walked out of my room carrying my high top black and red converse. My dad was in the living room watching T.V. and I suddenly stopped, eyeing the black eye he had, and the bruised, cut lip. I cleared my throat and sat down on the other couch, the love seat.

As I was putting my shoes on, my father and I would exchange glances. He would look at me like he wanted to say something.

"Where are you going today?"

Out, obviously…

"Um, Clare and her family invited me to go out with them today…"

"Do you need some extra money?" He asked.

As I finished tying my other shoe, I looked up at him curiously. Why is he being so damn nice? Did I do something wrong? No, I don't believe so… besides the fact that I did beat him up yesterday. I smirked mentally at the memory.

"I don't think so; I mean we're just going to get Clare a new dog."

"Here, take some extra money for food and stuff." Dad got up from the couch, and he handed me about forty dollars. I hesitantly took it and I flinched when he reached up to pat my head. I swallowed hard, and turned around to watch him walk into the kitchen, and stare out the small window that was above the sink. I subconsciously licked my lips and swallowed the lump in my throat. I was so caught up in my thoughts, that I didn't hear the doorbell ring.

My dad walked by me and pats my head again, causing me to thrust my head forward, I was startled. The front door was opened.

"Eli, Clare is here to see you."

When my dad announced this, I swiftly got up from the seat I was in, and turned around to face them. I almost stumbled because Clare looked so damn cute today. She was wearing a bright blue cardigan over a white floral top, a short skirt, and navy blue leggings, and cute flats. She blushed and cleared her throat saying, "A-are you ready to go? My parents are already in the car." I nodded and followed her out the front door.

I glanced back at the door, and my dad was standing in the doorway, my attention was soon averted back to Clare as we walked across the road and I followed Clare to the car. If I would've known Darcy, Clare, and I were going to be crammed in the back, I wouldn't have agreed to go, but since it is Clare we're talking about, I'm going to make an exception.

Darcy sat on the far left, Clare sat in the middle, and I sat down next to her. I closed the door and Mr. Edwards turned around and stared me straight in the eye. If I were a little kid I probably would've pissed myself, just from the look he gave me. His eyes were intimidating, and I couldn't help but feel scared when they looked at me.

"How are you today?" He asked.

I'm fine… scared, but fine.

"Never been better," was my response. I reached up and rubbed the back of my neck and he nodded, and turned back around. Momentarily we had started to pull out of the driveway. I stared out the window continuously, and that's when I realized that I had forgotten my iPod. I wanted to tell him to turn around, but we were already pulling out of the neighborhood. I felt Clare tap my arm, and I turned to face her. She held a notebook in her hand, and a pen. Clare smiled and wrote something down on it, and then she handed the notebook and pen to me.

**Thank you for what you said last night, you're really a kind hearted person Eli.**

I smiled a little when I read what she wrote. I wanted to lean over and kiss her cheek, but I know that would be "unacceptable". I grabbed the pen with my left hand, and started to scribble down my response.

_I meant everything that I said Clare… you shouldn't bring yourself down like the way you do. You're far from what you told me last night, you're beautiful._

I handed it back to her, but didn't dare to look at Clare. I could only take note that her lips were turned up, and she had a cute blush painted on her cheeks. I tried not to smile myself. Clare telling me I was kind hearted just made my heart drop to the pit of my stomach, and melt in the acid that was in there. She scribbled a few words and handed the notebook back to me.

**You're left handed? I somehow figured you were right handed, ha-ha. Well, anyway you're pretty amazing yourself Eli, you shouldn't bring yourself down like the way you did last night. You're unique, perfect, and beautiful too. *blush***

I looked over at Clare and noticed that she is actually blushing, her face was bright red, and I smiled wide and whispered so she could only hear.

"Clare, you're so damn cute when you're blushing."

She covered her face with her hair, and I continued; I couldn't help it to be honest. I brushed my lips against her ear and whispered, "Why do you hide your face from me?" I heard what sounded like a whimper from her lips, and I smirked and leaned away. Clare lifted her head and she lightly craned her neck to the side to look up at me. I smiled a little and she leaned up to me. My face turned pink, because it looked like she was going to kiss me.

Her lips were right against my ear, and in a soft angelic voice, Clare whispered, "Am I the only one that can make you blush?"

When she pulled away, I suddenly had forgotten how to breathe. My chest was tight and my breaths were coming out as short pants. I didn't even know that one person could make me hyperventilate like Clare can. She giggled and I was about to respond to her, but her dad's voice broke out and killed the fun.

"I don't like the silence in this car, would you guys like to listen to some music?"

"Sure." Clare beamed.

His blue eyes moved to mine in the rearview mirror.

"Since Eli is our guest, I think he should choose the station." Mr. Edwards said. I blinked a few times, and licked my lips. I turned to Clare and she cocked her head to the side. My eyes moved back to her father's.

"I um, don't think my choice in music will be your guys' taste." I responded honestly. Hell, I don't want them to think I'm a devil worshiper just by the kind of music I listen to. Fuck, they probably think so anyway, well except for Clare, well maybe Clare too.

"Try me." He said with a challenging tone.

I shrugged and told him to switch the station to 105.9, the rock station. When he did this, a loud screaming song started to play, and the volume was immediately turned down. I tried my hardest to hold back my laughter, so I clenched my jaw. Mr. Edwards laughed nervously, and Clare was sitting next to me giggling. Just when I was having fun, Darcy decided to join in.

"God, how do you listen to this noise?"

My piercing gaze was shot towards her and I narrowed my eyes at her. The look in Darcy's brown eyes went from being so damn confident, to completely scared. She blinked a few times and turned her attention back to the window. I smirked and Mr. Edwards soon turned the music back up. The song that played now wasn't as loud, it was one of my favorites by Saosin; You're Not Alone. I fell in love with that song when I first heard it.

Yet again, I do hate it at the same time, because it compares to me so damn much. Jenna dedicated this song to me when she and I were dating, and then all went downhill two weeks after that happened. I only hate that song because of that reason, because it used to be mine and Jenna's song, but overall I still like the amazing message the song has.

"Eli." Clare whispered.

I turned to her and she handed me the notebook.

**This song is really nice :) **

I took her pen, and started to scribble my answer. It was hard to write because we were in a moving car, with her dad swerving to get to a different lane, and the bumpy road, yeah it's not helping.

_Just so you know, I don't only listen to rock music… well I mean I do, but you know it's like I do listen to others, really soft music, I don't tell anybody about it because I'm afraid to get laughed at because of it._

I passed the notebook to Clare, and from the corner of my eye I watched her bite her bottom lip. God, if only she knew what that does to me. It makes me wonder what else she could do with her teeth… Crap. I need to stop thinking about stuff like that…

The notebook fell in my lap and I glanced down at it.

**Oh yeah? What else do you listen to Elijah? You know I wouldn't laugh at you. I mean it might give me something else to look up at home :)**

I nodded mentally. True. I thought about it, and soon wrote down my answer.

_Secondhand Serenade, I used to listen to them a lot. Well, I still do, but you know what I mean *nervous laugh*_

Just as I was handing Clare her notebook, a Secondhand Serenade song started to play on the radio. My face immediately dropped, and my chest started to hurt.

"Eli, are you okay?" Clare asked. I nodded and turned my attention to the window, where I could faintly see my reflection. Every time I listened to the song, "The Last Song Ever" by them, I always get so damn emotional. I don't know why. I sighed heavily and leaned my forehead against the cold glass. My eyes closed over and I flinched, feeling something on my knee. I looked down through my bangs, and noticed that Clare's tiny hand was on my knee, inching closer to my hand. I pulled my head back and looked at Clare in her bright blue eyes.

She smiled faintly, and Clare touched my hand, placing hers over mine. Clare lifted the notebook and showed me what she wrote.

**I love this band. "The Last Song Ever" is one of my favorite songs, but I can see that you're getting upset, so I figured I'd comfort you, well try to…**

After I read the word "to", Clare's hand grasped mine, and she slowly, hesitantly interlaced her fingers with mine. I chewed on the inside of my bottom lip and my vision had become blurry. I blinked back my tears, and looked down at her hand, which seemed to fit perfectly in mine, her pale fingers were a nice contrast to my tanned skin, and I couldn't help but love it dearly.

…

…

"Welcome to G & J's Pet Store, what can I help you with today?" The girl, whose name was Jennie, smiled as she walked up to us.

"Yes, my daughter Clare here is interested in wanting to buy a German Shepherd; do you guys by any chance have any of those dogs?" Mr. Edwards asked.

"You came just in time; we had just received a litter of puppies yesterday."

Clare squealed softly and she looked over at me, and followed the woman, taking my hand in hers and dragging me to the back of the store, as we left Darcy, Helen, and her father in the front. I guess they were going to get the food, toys, a bed, and shampoo for him or her. Clare and I were soon standing in front of a glass window, staring at a pit of puppies. I could hear their annoying barking and whimpering, and I tried my hardest really not to cringe, or turn around and walk away.

"Eli, which one should I get?" Clare asked.

"You can come inside to get a better look at them if you want." Jennie stated.

Clare nodded and I dragged my feet behind her, following her into the "puppy room". The annoying noises grew louder, and I mentally cursed at them. I watched Clare move inside the pit, and all the puppies ended up running into her lap. I smiled at how happy she looked. Clare laughed and she glanced up at me. I stood with my hands buried in the pockets of my leather jacket.

"Eli, come here!" Clare giggled.

I tried not to make a face, but I soon walked over to her, and sat down next to her. She held up a fluffy black and brown German Shepherd puppy and said, "This one is way cute, I think I want her." I looked at Clare's eyes, and then at the creature she held in her hands. It whined and turned her head away.

"I don't think she likes me much." I laughed.

Clare joined in as well but she got up, cradling the small dog in her hands. I soon followed her, not wanting to get covered in dog hair.

"I'll take this one." Clare said, her sentence directed to Jennie, who smiled wide. Jennie nodded and told Clare that I would have to pay upfront for her, so we followed her out of the room. I slowly walked behind Clare, watching her lower her head to the puppy in her arms. I guess she was nuzzling the creature or something, I don't know. As we made our way to the front, I had bumped into Darcy who was holding a large dog bed, which of course she dropped.

When Darcy noticed it was me she bumped into, her voice became weak and fragile when she spoke.

"S-sorry Eli, I'm sorry." She got down and picked up the bed. I smirked and watched her scurry off to her parents. I looked down the aisle, and noticed that I was standing right beside the fish tank aisle. I smirked and turned to Clare's family who were too busy admiring the dog Clare picked out. I walked to the aisle and stared at the variety of fish swimming around the tanks. I frowned. They looked so damn trapped. I watched them like a cat eyeing a bird in a cage, and then I looked around, checking to make sure I wasn't being watched, and then looked up to see if there was a camera near me.

I pulled the sleeve of my jacket up and reached into the tank, grabbing a medium sized guppy fish in my palm. I held it, and watched it breath heavily through its mouth after it flopped around in my palm. Just as it was slowly dying, I tossed it back in the water, and watched it swim around, then float to the bottom and just sit there. I snorted and wiped my wet hand on my jeans, pulled the sleeve of my jacket off, and then walked to the front.

"Eli! Do you want to hold her?" Clare asked as I approached her.

"U-um, I don't think so—

"Please?" Clare begged.

I sighed and held my arms out and Clare handed her new puppy to me. I held her like a baby and stared down at it.

The hazel eyes that this dog possessed looked up into mine and I couldn't help but think that its sad face looked so cute.

"I named her Beauty." Clare said.

"Nice name." I smiled. I remembered in the movie The Hills Have Eyes that the family in that movie had two German Shepherds, one named Beauty, the other Beast, so I give props to Clare if she got the idea from that.

"Clare-bear, Eli, it's time to go, we're going to get something to eat along the way." Helen said.

Clare and I walked out of the store after I handed her the dog. Clare turned to me and said, "The lady says that it would be best to hold her, but I think she'll be okay in the dog carrier, but I still want to hold her, _she's so fluffy_." Clare nuzzled the puppy's head and I smiled. She's still a child. Clare placed Beauty into the dog carrier, which was sitting between Mr. Edwards and Helen.

Instead of Clare sitting in the middle, I sat in the middle this time. Darcy smiled sheepishly at me, and I smiled faintly in return. We pulled out of the pet store's parking lot, only to drive across the road and park in a McDonald's parking lot. I sucked on my bottom lip. I refused to eat here again, but I don't believe I have any other choice. When I walked inside, Clare had already started to order. She wasn't much of a picky eater, because she ordered a Big Mac, fries and a large coke.

I wasn't really that hungry, so when it was my turn, I had ended up ordering a double cheeseburger. Since dad gave me money of my own, I paid for my one cheeseburger and I took a seat in the back. I didn't notice that Clare was following me, so when I turned to sit down, I almost jumped because I was startled.

"Stalking me?" I joked.

"Oh, never, of course not." Clare joked in return as she took a seat in front of me. I smiled and pulled the yellow wrapped burger out of the bag, unwrapping it. I grimaced, watching all the grease drip off the hard cheese and the meat. I swallowed hard and glanced up at Clare, who turned her head and smiled at me. I picked up the burger and hesitantly took a bite from it. I slowly chewed it and swallowed eventually.

I didn't want to eat this, but I didn't want to seem rude and not eat, since I'm sure Mr. Edwards expects me to.

"Clare." She turned around, and I glanced over and noticed that her father had called her. I watched Clare leave, leaving me to sit by myself. I continued to slowly eat my burger, and soon was accompanied with Clare and her family.

"Eli, how are you enjoying the day?" Helen asked.

Well besides the fact that I slightly smell like a dog, and that I'm eating a ticket to OB city, I'm doing great.

"It's fine." I responded.

"Just fine?" She asked as she laid her fries out on the tray. I watched as she poured a great amount of ketchup on them, and then popped a few in her mouth. Ugh, how can she sit there and eat this garbage. I looked down at my half eaten burger, and then looked over at Clare who was slowly eating her burger as well. I picked mine up and resumed eating. I hated it. It tasted nasty, and I could already feel myself getting fat from it.

"Will you excuse me please?" I asked.

I didn't wait for a response as I got up and bolted to the bathroom. I didn't bother in locking myself in a stall, because the minute I walked into it, my face was already in the toilet, throwing up every little bite of the burger that I had eaten. It ended up hurting so much, because I didn't have anything else to throw up in my stomach, dry heaving was one horrible pain that I hate to endure. I blindly reached up and pulled the knob down, and then got up, to rinse my mouth.

…

…

…

…

"What's wrong with Eli? He's been acting strangely."

"Yeah Clare, he's been in the bathroom for a little over five minutes, is he okay?" Darcy asked.

I looked up from my half eaten Big Mac and switched glances between my mom, Darcy, and dad. I shrugged.

"He seemed fine earlier; maybe he had a phone call or something." I responded with another shrug of my shoulder. Just as I had said this, Eli had walked out of the bathroom, he looked pale. When he sat down, we stared into each other's eyes. Eli looked sick. He was as white as a piece of paper.

Before I could say anything, Dad said, "Eli you look terrible, did you see a ghost?" Eli laughed a short laugh.

"No, I'm just not really feeling well."

"Well you seemed fine earlier." Darcy cut in.

I wanted to punch her in the face, but she only shrugged her shoulders. Eli glared at her and she laughed nervously and started to finish her meal. We were all halfway done, including Eli, but he told us that he refused to finish eating his burger, that he was afraid he'd get sick again. I found this to be very odd, because he was fine earlier. It can't be random that he had suddenly gotten sick from eating, well he could, but I don't know, I just find it very odd.

I suddenly remembered that I had left Beauty in the car, and I got up to throw my trash away.

"Eli, will you come with me to check on Beauty?" I asked. Eli slowly looked up at me and he nodded faintly. We both walked out of the McDonalds and headed to the car. I pulled the door handle, and frowned, realizing that it was locked.

"Crap." I muttered.

"I'm sure she's fine, Clare." Eli said. I nodded and pressed my lips to a line, as I started to lean against the car. Eli stood in front of me, and I looked him up and down. He looked really sexy today. Maybe it was leather? I don't know how to explain it. Eli shifted all his weight to his right leg as he shoved his hands into the pockets of his skinny jeans.

"Um—about earlier… when you were holding my, um… hand," Eli's sentence drifted and I couldn't help but think Eli's nervousness to be cute. Just when he lowers his head, his face turns a little pink, and he looked bashful.

"Well I just wanted to you know, say um, thanks… it made me feel a little better." Eli laughed a little nervously and he started to rock back and forth on his heels. I smiled and stood directly in front of him. Eli stumbled and I reached up to touch his face. Being this up close to Eli, took my breath away. Eli has a face that looked like it were carved by angels, and that was damn beautiful. If Eli doesn't think so, then I'll just have to do anything to prove that to him.

Eli's eyes moved to my lips and then he glanced back up into my blue eyes. I swallowed nervously, and it didn't take me long to realize that our lips were only millimeters apart, grazing each other's. I blushed and stepped back, and leaned against the car.

"Y-yeah, well um you're welcome." I responded, stammering. My face and body were both really hot, which I blamed the weather, but I mean I know it wasn't the weather, mind you. It was Eli's fault.

When I looked up at him he had a genuine smile, and I really couldn't help but smile in return. Eli had moved closer to me, and he dipped down, and brushed his lips across my cheek. His lips were soft against my skin, and I could feel my flesh begin to heat up again.

"Thank you Clare, really you're too kind." He whispered

When he pulled away I couldn't hold my eyes to him. I was too embarrassed, well… shocked. I normally push a guy away when he's about to kiss me, let alone get near me like that when I have only known him for a little over a week. But Eli just happened to be that one exception and that alone (if it were possible)—

"Clare, Eli, are you guys ready?" Daddy asked as he walked to the car.

I nodded and I opened the door and sat down in the middle, Eli followed and sat down next to me. I glanced over at him and smiled wide, not showing my teeth, but it was a wide smile. Eli's response was a crooked grin,

—made me fall for him even more.

End of Chapter 11

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My oh my, Eli kissed Clare on the cheek? Just you wait and see what's going to happen in the next chapter, someone is going to get severely hurt, and you won't believe who it's going to be. So, if you want the next chapter, please review :) I'm just as anxious as you are about this story X3

goodbye for now :D


	12. cry

Disclaimer: Degrassi is something I don't own, sadly… I do own Eli's five year old cousin though, Maureen.

A/N: First things first, thank you Anonymous Reviewer for your AMAZING reviews. I totes cried tears of joy when I read them :) Second, I feel like a total ditz when I didn't put down that thesidkidd edited the last chapter :/ I'm sorry for that -_-;

Anyway, there's not much to say about this chapter, don't forget to review!

Warnings: Parental abuse, the horror will actually begin in the next chapter, like a person being brutally hurt.

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Alibis

Summary: Waiting for change to lead him down a more innocent path, death obsessed Elijah Goldsworthy finds it in a blue eyed beauty, but perhaps with an even darker past than his own.

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CHAPTER 12

It's been exactly two hours since we arrived home. Eli and I didn't exchange many words; because I was still a little too excited that he kissed me. His lips are really soft. I am currently lying in my bed at this very moment, staring at the ceiling and grinning from ear to ear. I have never felt this good in such a long time, and the feeling was really nice. I reached up and touched my cheek, and sighed heavily. The ride home was really nice as well.

Eli ended up laying his head on my shoulder because he claimed that he was tired. I enjoyed getting a glimpse of him sleeping. He looked peaceful and really cute too. When we arrived at my house, he quickly got off me and apologized like crazy. I told him that if he could kiss me without me having doubts about it, I wouldn't mind if he lay on me either, besides, he looked really tired for some reason, and I wasn't about to shove him off my shoulder.

I checked the time, it's six thirty.

I hadn't heard from Eli, I guess he went to sleep, to take a nap or something. I sat up in my bed, and grabbed my phone, remembering that my friend, Alli, had told me to call her some time, and now is the time. While flipping through my contacts, I soon found her number and pressed the send button as it started to dial the number on its own.

**"Hello?"**

"Alli!"

**"Clare-bear! How are you? Okay I know how you are, but seriously, you have to tell me about this Eli character! NOW!"** Alli squeaked. I rolled my eyes and smiled a little.

"Okay, okay. Calm down. First off, he's 17, has really dark hair, and dark green eyes. God, Alli. Let me tell you, once you look into his eyes you'll get so lost, because they're so damn beautiful. Eli in general is really beautiful if you want a full detail about it. He's tall about five nine, and is really kind hearted, but he's you know… a little shy."

**"Oh, he's the shy type, eh? Do you have him on your friends on FaceRange, because in my head he looks like a really good looking person, but in real life he could be totally ugly?"** Alli laughed.

"Yes, just type in Eli Goldsworthy."

**"Goldsworthy, ha, that's original."** Alli responded. I tried my hardest not to roll my eyes. I love Alli, but sometimes she could be really "preppy". I ended up pulling the phone away from my ear when Alli screamed louder than a banshee. In between her girly squeal she said something along the lines of me being right when I said that he was beautiful.

**"He's so much better looking than your ex-boyfriend."** Alli stated.

I frowned, and fell silent over the phone. Alli realized what she said and she apologized, "Clare, I'm so sorry… I didn't mean to bring him up; you know I was just… I was just—god I'm really sorry." I cleared my throat and licked my lips. I know she didn't mean to, but I'm not too fond when Alli mentions my ex-boyfriend. He's not meant to be talked about, not even mentioned at all. We both fell silent over the phone, and I made up a quick excuse to get off the phone.

"Alli, I have to take a shower now, I'll talk to you later."

Before Alli could respond to me, I closed my phone, and tossed it across my room, not caring where it landed. I was a little upset with her; she knows KC is not meant to be brought up, after what he did to me… I felt my chest grow tight, just from the thought of it, and I quickly shook the thoughts out of my head. KC is not something I need to be thinking about.

He wasn't the greatest boyfriend, and he practically made my life HELL after the few months we started dating.

I sighed heavily through my nose and got up, and went downstairs, where I had left Beauty in the laundry room. My parents are outside on the back porch, and Darcy was in the shower. I could hear the little yelps and scratching at the door. When I opened it, Beauty was staring up at me with her cute little face. I bent down to pick her up, and then I walked out the front door to play with her in the front yard. When I set Beauty down, I sat down next to her.

She started prancing around, and pawing my legs. She looked so happy, and so was I.

I laughed Beauty started to pounce on me, and I got up and ran across the yard, she trailed behind me, and let out a tiny pathetic bark. I laughed and picked her up; her little fluffy body was so small in my hands. I looked over towards Eli's house when I heard a door slam. His father was walking out of the front door, down the steps, and when he caught me looking at him, I quickly turned away.

He was scary, very intimidating, and not many people scare me, except for my father.

Eli's dad climbed into a large pick-up truck, and he sped off down the road, music blaring through the speakers. Moments later, I heard Eli screaming, it sounded like his mother and he were arguing. I wanted to go inside, but I couldn't help but listen to what was going on. Eli stormed out of the house, followed by his mother, and that's when things got bad.

_"You seriously fucking better be glad that I don't report you! First dad hits me and then you cut in and say that it's my damn fault? I hate you! You're just a—a BITCH! You don't understand when it comes to me, why do you hate me!"_ Eli screamed, at the top of his lungs.

My chest was beginning to hurt, because I could hear the pain in his voice.

_"Eli get back inside! We don't need the neighbors hearing this."_

_"WHO CARES? LET THEM HEAR!"_ Eli screamed again.

I couldn't take this anymore, so I ended up running inside the house when Eli looked over at me. I was holding Beauty close to my chest, and she whimpered. I loosened my grip and my parents walk out of the kitchen. I had tears weld in my eyes, and they blinked a few times. I smiled faintly at them, and blinked back my tears. I walked to the laundry room and placed Beauty inside. She looked up at me with the saddest puppy eyes, but I only closed the door, and she began yelping.

"Clare, what would you like for dinner?" Mom asked.

"Um, anything is fine; I'm not really that hungry though." I responded honestly. Dad and mom frowned.

"Let's have pizza tonight then." Dad said.

I nodded and smiled faintly. I walked up the stairs and bumped into Darcy as she exited her room.

"Sorry." She muttered.

"It's okay." I responded. Darcy muttered something under her breath and I watched her walk down the stairs. She looked so, odd to say the least. I walked into my room, and heard my phone going off. I frowned, now regretting that I had tossed it somewhere. My phone stopped ringing just when I had found it. I noticed that I had two missed calls, both from Eli. I chewed on my bottom lip and redialed his number. I waited patiently for him to pick up.

…

…

…

…

"Bzz, bzz, bzz."

My glazed green eyes slowly moved over to the phone that was beeping on the counter of the bathroom I sat in. I ignored it. Clare ignored my calls, so I might as well ignore her calls… I looked down at the razor I held in my hand, which was drenched in my own blood. I averted my gaze slowly to the cut I had created on my wrist; it was deep, and blood was pouring heavily from it.

I smiled, because of two reasons. It felt so damn good, and the other was because I liked the way my blood looked against my skin. There was a small puddle of blood next to my thigh. I slowly staggered to my feet and stumbled to the sink. I opened the faucet and place my wrist directly under the cold, running water. I hissed, but watched as the sink turned pink from my blood mixing with the water. I wrapped my cut with some gauze, and walked out of my bathroom, grabbing my phone in the process.

My phone started to vibrate in my hand, and I looked down, realizing that Clare was calling me again. I answer, but didn't say anything.

**"Eli? Eli are you okay? Are you there? Eli, answer me!"**

"Hey…" I responded lowly.

**"Oh, thank god! Eli, why haven't you called me back?"** Clare asked.

"You were ignoring me earlier… I could do the same right?"

Clare fell silent on the other end.

**"Eli, I wasn't ignoring you."** She whimpered; her voice was weak, fragile. I swallowed hard and felt that pain in my chest. I slid down against the wall, sitting next to my computer desk. I brought my knees up to my chest, and clenched my hair in my hand. I whimpered, "Clare I'm so sorry… I didn't—I'm sorry…" Clare was still silent on the other end, and I never felt more like a jackass than I do now.

"Eli, calm down, it's okay." Clare said finally.

"No it's not; you probably hate me right now. Clare just tell me you hate me so I can just get on with my stupid pathetic life—

**"ELIJAH GOLDSWORTHY!"**

I clamped my mouth shut when Clare shouted my name on the other end.

**"I don't hate you Eli; get that through your system. I'm not your father, I'm not your mother, and I most certainly am NOT everybody else that hates you. I don't hate you, okay?"** Clare said. I remained quiet. Clare just got mad at me, because… dammit. I heard her sigh, and I glanced up when the light in my room was flicked on. Mom walked to me and she said, "Dr. West is here to see you." I sighed heavily. I didn't want to see him.

"Clare, I'll call you back later okay?"

"Make sure you do, okay?" Clare said.

I smiled faintly and closed my phone. I got up and followed my mom out of the room, and headed down the hallway, and into the living room, where my stupid therapist sat. The moment I sat down in front of him, he noticed the bandage wrapped tightly around my wrist. He cleared his throat and reached into his leather suitcase, and pulled out the yellow notepad. We stared blankly at each other. I was getting ready to hear that stupid question he always starts off with…

"How are you today Eli?"

Fucking never been better, my mom and dad decided to hit me again today, how would you feel?

"I'm okay." I responded.

"Just okay? Your mother said you've been acting up lately."

"Sure, just go ahead and ask her, before you ask me what the fuck is going on." I spat. Dr. West and my mother seemed shocked at my venomous response. I barked out a sarcastic laugh, and waved an accusing finger at Dr. West, shouting, "If only you knew what the hell is going on here! They say I'm crazy, I'm not crazy! I'm not! They fucking beat me when you're not here! Dad chokes me, mom laughs and walks away telling me I shouldn't hit him! They fucking hit me! I hate them! I cut because of them, I hate this shit!"

Dr. West and mom sat there looking blankly at me after I had just spilled my guts for the first time in a long time.

"See what I told you? He lies." Mom said.

"Ugh, you want to see lies! I'll show you lies!" I got up, and lifted the shirt I had on, over my head, revealing a large bruise growing along my ribcage where my dad had kicked me earlier. Mom got up swiftly and hissed, "Eli put your shirt back on." Dr. West's eyes grew wide, and he got up and examined the bruise, and then the cuts on my body. He cleared his throat and said, "I'm going to have to report this, if this is true Eli."

"Of course it is damn true! You think I would do this to myself?" I screamed.

I couldn't control the tone in my voice much longer. I was screaming at them, both of them. Mom stood there in shock, as if she didn't expect me to tell anybody that my parents beat me up on regular bases. It felt good, like a huge weight was lifted right off my shoulders.

"Then again," Dr. West started. I glared at him, "you are under suicide watch Eli, so for all I know, you could be lying. I'm going to see how this goes, until then… I have another appointment, call if you need anything." I stood there in shock, watching my mother and Dr. West shake hands, and then he left, walking out the front door. I opened and closed my mouth. Did that just fucking happen? I can't believe it. The minute I tell someone I thought I could trust, a cry for help, he decides to tell me I'm lying about it?

"Elijah Goldsworthy, what is your problem?" Mom hissed; her hands placed on her hips.

"What's my problem?" I growled. I clenched my fist next to my thighs, in any moment I was getting ready to explode; I would end up hitting my mother if she didn't stop, but it wouldn't be the first time. She arched her blond eyebrow and walked up to me, her hand came out swiftly, and she hit me across the face, the force was so hard, that I could feel blood trickling from the corner of my bottom lip.

"You can't just continue and making up lies just so people could feel bad for you, it's stupid and a waste of time." Mom said.

I kept my head hung low.

"Why do you do this to me?" I whispered, yet it was loud enough so she could hear. I couldn't see my mom's facial reaction, but I knew that she was glaring at me, giving me some stupid "I have no idea what you're talking about" look. I lifted my head, staring at her with glassy eyes. Again, I whispered, "Why? Why do you hate me so much? What have I ever done to you?" I whimpered, and my voice cracked.

She crossed her arms across her chest, and frowned.

"Why? Answer me dammit! WHY! What have I done to get verbally abused and physically abused by you? By dad… _why do you hate me_?" I whimpered and sat back on the couch, burying my head in my hands. I sobbed. I had finally cracked, I was crying so hard, that I was both sobbing heavily, and choking on the sobs. I didn't trust myself to speak, because I know I'll be speaking incoherently.

My mom sighed and she sat down next to me on the couch. She attempted to wrap her arms around me, but I pushed her away and cried harder. Mom tried again, and she kept her arms wrapped around me. I soon ended up throwing myself at her, my arms wrapped around her torso, and my head was against her chest. I sobbed heavily and continued to ask her why she hated me, why she beat me. My mom didn't answer, which was no surprise to me.

"Eli, I love you, you know that." She stated.

"No you don't, if you loved me you wouldn't hit me… you hate me, you and dad both hate me." I cried. My mom rubbed my back and rocked back and forth, trying to sooth me. I sniffled, and shook uncontrollably in her arms. Mom rubbed my back and I flinched, feeling something fall in my hair. I pulled away and noticed that she had tears streaming down her face. Why is she crying…?

"Eli I didn't really realize how much this affected you, I'm really sorry, you have to forgive me, I'm so sorry." She cried.

I frowned, and she reached up and wiped the tears from under my eyes. She leaned forward and kissed my forehead. My mom got up from the couch, and slowly made her way to her room in the back of the house. I sat on the couch, staring blankly and continuously at the wall. The sound of a door being slammed made me jump. I swallowed hard and sniffled. I got up from the couch, and walked to the kitchen, staring out the window. Clare was sitting outside with Darcy on the roof.

They looked like in deep conversation, but Clare was crying, I could tell. I wanted to ask what was wrong, so when she stormed into the house through her window, I walked to my room, and searched for my phone, trying to desperately find it.

…

…

…

…

My phone was going off, and I immediately knew it was Eli calling. When I picked up the phone, I opened it and answered with a "hello".

"Clare, why were you crying?" Eli asked.

I pinned my eyebrows together and turned around, watching Darcy climb in through my window, and glare at me, before she exited my room. I sat on my bed and listened to Eli's breathing on the other end.

"Why were you crying?" He asked again.

"Darcy was just saying some stuff… it's no big deal, I cry for anything." I laughed to try and lighten the mood. Eli didn't think my joke was funny, because he remained silent on the other end. It was like he knew me too well to believe that what Darcy and I were "just saying stuff". I looked at the clock, it's seven thirty now, and it was barely black outside. I figured Eli and I go walk Beauty, because she does need to be walk every now and then right?

"Eli, do you want to walk me and Beauty around the neighborhood?" I asked.

"Um, sure I guess." Eli said.

"Okay good, I'll meet you out front okay?" I said. Eli said okay and I closed my phone. I was wearing a long sleeve t-shirt and a pair of loose shorts. I didn't think it was necessary to be wearing pants, and besides I didn't have any visible scars on my legs, not noticeable ones at least. I walked down stairs after slipping on a pair of my flats.

"Mom, daddy, Eli is going to walk me and Beauty around the neighborhood; I'll be back before it gets too late." I announced. They muttered something that sounded like an "okay" so I walked to the laundry room, and opened the door. Beauty ran up to me and licked my ankle while I grabbed her thin leash, and collar. She was small enough to have a flea collar, but she also was big enough to have a regular collar as well. While I was walking out of the laundry, I hooked the leash on Beauty's pink collar.

I walked out the front door, and placed her on the ground. Since it was so dark, I didn't see the body walking towards me.

"Clare?"

"WHAT?" I screamed.

"Clare, it's just me."

"Oh, Eli, god I'm so sorry." I laughed nervously. Eli chuckled and I winced when a light was flashed in my face.

"Flashlights are our best friend right now." Eli stated as he brought it away from my face, and he added, "It's not safe to walk around here at night." I nodded and we both started to walk down the sidewalk, Beauty took the lead of course. I smiled and stared down at the big ball of moving fluff in front of me and Eli. We were silent, Eli and I. The only sound was the sound of mine and Eli's feet being dragged along the sidewalk full of broken twigs and a few leaves.

"Why were you crying earlier?" Eli asked me.

I turned my head to him, from the faint lighting of the flash light; I could see the look of concern on his face. I reached up and touched Eli's shoulder, he looked over at me and I smiled and said, "Eli… Darcy was just you know, talking to me about… my wrists, and it got over board, and she asked how you can think I'm beautiful with having such ugly scars. She just, made me feel ugly…" I trailed off, feeling the pain form in my chest.

"Clare, Darcy is a _bitch_; excuse my language, but… I mean I'm starting to think she doesn't enjoy seeing you happy." Eli said. I shot a look of confusion towards him, but then I looked down at Beauty who was sitting on the sidewalk, not moving. I bent down to pick her up, and noticed that she had fallen asleep ahead of me and Eli. I smiled and she whimpered in her sleep.

"So we've only walked a few blocks, do you want to go back now?" Eli asked disappointedly.

"Of course not, let's continue walking." I smiled.

Eli nodded and I followed beside him, holding Beauty close to my chest. Eli and I didn't exchange many words, but I wanted to ask him what went on earlier today with his parents. It's not my business, but it looked bad, and it sounded that Eli was about to cry. I would be surprised, I haven't heard or seen Eli cry, but I know it's a heartbreaking moment to witness. Eli doesn't look like the person who would cry often, he's strong…

"What are you thinking about?" Eli asked.

"Huh? Oh, nothing…" I cleared my throat, not realizing that I was busy talking to myself. Eli muttered something and we continued to walk in silence. Eli stopped abruptly and I turned to look at him. I asked curiously, "What's wrong?"

"Adam lives there… I think—I should check on him, he left me yesterday and I haven't heard from him since." Eli explained.

"You can come with me; I don't want you standing here alone." He added. I smiled a little, and nodded, following him up the steps of Adam's large house. This is the second time I'll be meeting Adam in person, and to be a little frank, I'm kind of nervous. I don't really like Adam, not as much. I mean I like him, but, there's just something about him that I know I won't like. Maybe because the way he treated Eli that one time we all hung out at the Dot.

Eli knocked on the door, and it wasn't long until we heard footsteps walking towards the door. A woman answered that I assumed was Adam's mother.

"Eli? What are you doing here? Who's this?" She asked.

"Hi Mrs. Torres, I was just wondering if Adam was home." Eli asked as he shoved his hands into his pockets.

She crossed her arms across her chest and snorted. Yeah, I can tell she's a stuck up person.

"Haven't you done enough damage to him? I saw the black eye."

"Excuse you, his dad did that." Eli retorted, his tone was off, like he was getting ready to hit her.

"His father would never lay a hand on my son, Eli. I'll tell him you stopped by, nice to see you again." Mrs. Torres had slammed the door in our faces, and the porch light that was on was turned off. I looked over at Eli and he just stormed away, I followed behind him, Beauty whimpered in my arms, and I looked down and could faintly see that she had woken up.

She stretched and I put her down on the ground, and she started to lazily walk next to me, while Eli waited for me to catch up to him. Beauty walked ahead of us, as Eli held the flashlight before us. I looked over at him, and we turned around the corner. I reached up to touch his shoulder and he looked over at me. Eli smiled a little and he whispered, "I hate her, she just doesn't get it." I nodded, agreeing with him.

"It's okay, if you know you didn't do it, you shouldn't let it get to you." I stated.

"Right." Eli mumbled.

"So, Elijah… Um—you kissed me earlier." I whispered, instantly feeling my face turn hot.

"Yeah, if you—sorry I just… got caught up in the moment…" Eli stammered.

I smiled a little and responded quietly, "It's okay… I liked it."

Eli seemed to hear it, because when I looked over at him, he was smiling wide. We were walking around the corner again, and my house was coming up to a view. I frowned, because I didn't want to go back home just yet. Eli cleared his throat and said, "Would you like to um… hang out with me tonight? Just to watch a movie or something…"

I blinked a few times, and swallowed hard.

"I um, don't know if my parents would let me." I responded. Eli nodded and looked down at the ground. I felt bad. I mean I wasn't bailing on him. I would love to watch a movie with him, but I don't think my parents would let me. I don't see why not though, it's not that late, and by the time I would come back it would be a little after nine, right?

"I'll ask okay? Wait here." I ran into the house, and headed straight to the laundry room so I could put Beauty to rest. As I closed the door, my dad showed up in front of me, and I stumbled back against the wall.

"Um, Eli invited me over to watch a movie, can I go?" I asked shakily.

My father stared me down, and I watched his eyes move up, and down over my body. He nodded and I smiled, and hugged him before I walked out of the house, and sprinted across the yard. With my luck, I twisted my ankle and stumbled in front of Eli, falling in front of him. I hissed and felt my ankle. Eli muttered something under his breath that sounded like "so clumsy" but I wasn't sure. He picked me up, and I blushed when our faces were unimaginably close again.

I laughed nervously and walked around him with a slight limp. I almost tripped again, but Eli had wrapped his arm tightly around my waist. I blushed and he helped me inside. This is the first time I would actually be spending time with him, alone, in his house. I tried my hardest not to get too excited about it. When we walked inside his house, the only light that was on was the one in the kitchen, and I could smell home cooking, which smelled divine.

"Eli is that you?" I heard his mother ask as he shut the door behind us.

"Yeah, Clare is with me, we're going to watch a movie." He responded.

"Oh, that's good, are you going to be staying for dinner too? It should be ready in an hour." She asked me.

I looked over at Eli and he shrugged lightly. I looked back at his mother and nodded, saying, "I guess so Mrs. Goldsworthy—

"Please, call me Cece." She interrupted me.

I nodded hesitantly, and Eli walked me to sit on the couch. When I sat down, I smiled at how comfortable it was, and he asked, "What would you like to watch?" I thought about it. My tastes in movies are possibly quite similar to his. So, I asked, "Do you have any old Horror films? Or any newly released ones? Well… yeah." I looked up into his green eyes and Eli nodded. He walked into the hallway, and entered I room, which I presumed it was his.

I sat in the living room, looking around and tapping my knees with my hands. The front door swung open, and in stumbled a tall burly man. I blushed when he looked at me. I frowned; the smell of alcohol filled the entire room. I figured it was his dad. His words were mumbled and slurred as he made his way across the living room. Eli soon came back and I tried not to sigh in relief.

"I don't know what you like so I got the movie Mirrors." Eli said.

"I haven't seen it, so that's fine."

"Eli what is this bitch doing here? Sh-she—you didn't ask me to have friends over."

"Dad not now." Eli growled.

I lowered my head and Eli quickly put the DVD in, and sat down next to me on the couch. The tension that filled the air was really dense, and I couldn't help but feel slightly uncomfortable. Moments later, Eli's parents started to argue in the kitchen.

"You let someone come in my house without asking me?"

"Bullfrog, please… it's not that big of a deal. It's Eli's friend. Cut him some slack." Cece responded.

"I'm so sorry…" Eli whispered, embarrassed. I placed a hand on his knee and rubbed my thumb back and forth over it. Eli smiled faintly and I sighed heavily. We turned our attention to the T.V. Eli reached over on the coffee table and he grabbed the DVD remote, and pressed play. I could hear Cece and his father talking in the kitchen, they weren't yelling anymore. Eli glanced over at me and I watched as his hands shook. I frowned and reached over to grab it, but he didn't let me. He clenched his pant legs, and whispered something under his breath. I didn't know what was going on, but I knew he wasn't okay.

I placed my hand on his back and rubbed it. Eli slouched and he leaned back against the couch, my arm fell around his shoulders. I blushed when he leaned into me; his head fell on my shoulder. Eli seemed to snap back to reality because he cleared his throat and pulled away from me. I cleared my throat as well and we just smiled sheepishly at each other.

"Dinner is ready! Clare, I hope you like fish." Cece smiled as she walked into the living room, carrying two plates with two fish filets, and small red skin potatoes next to them. I smiled my thanks and picked up my fork that lay next to my fish filets. Eli started to poke at his food, but he soon started eating, I followed. My taste buds went on a frenzy from the delicious taste that lingered on my tongue. It was amazing. I hadn't had fish in such a long time.

"This is delicious Mrs. Goldsworthy— uhh… Cece." I quickly corrected myself.

"Oh, I'm glad you like it." Cece smiled extra wide.

Bullfrog came out of the kitchen, and he held a beer in one hand, and a plate in the other. He sat down in the recliner next to the love seat that Eli and I sat in, and we all sat in silence as we ate and watched the movie.

"What is this shit?" Bullfrog asked.

"Mirrors." Eli responded lowly.

"No, this shit on my plate. Cece can't you do anything right!" Bullfrog tossed the plate across the room, the food flew everywhere, landing on the wall and on the carpet. I flinched, and Eli sighed heavily. His parents started to scream at each other, right in front of Eli and me. It's like; they don't have respect for guests at all. Eli got up, which grabbed my attention. I looked over at him, and he motioned for me to follow him. I nodded and he led me into the dining room.

"I'm sorry Clare, I didn't know it was going to be this way." Eli whispered.

"Eli, it's fine… don't worry about it." I told him.

Eli picked at his food and then I looked down at my plate. I was halfway finished, and Eli barely even touched his supper. I nearly fell out of my chair when I heard the sound of glass breaking.

"Maybe I should go." I said.

"No… please don't leave…" Eli looked up at me, and I could see the fear in his eyes. I didn't know what to do. I couldn't stay here, and listen to this, but I didn't want to leave Eli. Before I could tell him okay, that I wasn't going to leave him alone here, a loud, piercing scream was heard outside of the dining room. Eli didn't hesitate to get up. He said, "Stay here." I nodded and reached up and held my hands up close to my chest. My heart was beating rapidly, faster than it should be beating. And, I felt lightheaded.

_"Dad! Dad stop it!"_

_"You stay out of this Elijah! Your mother deserves what she's going to get."_

_"No she doesn't! She didn't do anything, dad leave her alone! STOP IT!"_

I wasn't able to see anything, but I know that if I stepped into the living room, I wasn't going to like what I see. I squeezed my eyes shut and clamped my hands over my ears, the sounds growing louder and louder by the minute.

_"Dammit Elijah, knock it off!"_

It was right there when I heard the worst horrible noise ever, the sound of a body being thrown against a wall, hard. I couldn't control myself; I got up and gasped, my hands covered my mouth instantly.

"E-Eli?" I whimpered.

Bullfrog looked up at me and Cece turned to me. Tears pricked at the corner of my eyes, and I ran to Eli's broken looking body, that lay next to the T.V stand. I kneeled down next to him, and shook his chest. He flinched and I sighed in relief. He slowly opened his eyes and sat up, but fell back. I reached around and placed my hand on the back of his head, and helped him. That's when I felt warm liquid seeping through my fingers from the back of his head.

"Clare, you have to leave." He wheezed.

"Eli, I'm not leaving you." I whispered.

"Get out of here." Eli whispered.

"No—

"Clare. Leave." Eli growled.

"Will you be okay?" I asked. Eli slowly opened his eyes and I could see my own reflection in them. He nodded faintly, and I licked my lips, and helped him get up before I could leave. Eli stared at me, and reached up, placing his hand on the back of his head, and brought it to his face. He looked at the blood, and then looked over at his parents, who sat on the couch looking dumbfounded.

I glanced at Eli, and he reassured me with a small smile, telling me that he was going to be okay. I nodded and slowly walked out the front door. The door was locked, and I bolted across the lawn, not wanting to hear anything that was going to happen.

Before I entered my home, I looked back towards Eli's house, and frowned, feeling scared for him.

"I hope—you'll be okay Eli." I whispered.

End of Chapter 12

* * *

Okay so in the last chapter I said that someone was going to get hurt, I totally meant that it was going to be in the next chapter, sorry if I disappointed you guys :( Anyway, the next chapter will be continuing straight from this one, starting at Eli's house, and let me tell you, oh my, it's going to be probably the most intense chapter that I'm going to write. I mean, really intense, like brutal. Let's just say my very morbid mind is going to be put to work.

Oh, and you're going to have a surprise person showing up. So, if you want the next chapter, leave me some reviews! If this story hits four hundred reviews in less than sixteen chapters, I will be happier than a bird with a french fry, so leave me some reviews :D


	13. numb

Disclaimer: Degrassi is something I don't own, sadly… I do own Eli's five year old cousin though, Maureen.

A/N: So many questions, HeatherPoulette; I promise you will be learning more of Darcy and her mother and the secret behind Clare's abuse. It's going to be later on, I'm waiting for the right moment ha ha. Woo! I'm so glad that you guys love this story! I would most importantly like to thank Eclareyummies because she is awesome, and sort of spread the word about this story :D I shall give you a big fat cookie for that.

I am super sorry that this chapter is short. I have it short for a reason though... but I refuse to tell you :3 Because I am mean like that, and because you guys love enough not to care X3. Anyways, here is chapter 13! Enjoy!

Warnings: All I'm saying is that, you have been warned, so be prepared. My morbid mind is being put to work for this chapter, so you get to see what exactly I have buried in my nasty brain. There will be blood. There will be tears. And most importantly, there will be rape. You have been warned, so I don't want to hear complaints.

* * *

Alibis

Summary: Waiting for change to lead him down a more innocent path, death obsessed Elijah Goldsworthy finds it in a blue eyed beauty, but perhaps with an even darker past than his own.

* * *

CHAPTER 13

"Eli, you're bleeding."

My vision danced in front of my eyes, my head was throbbing; it felt like I had woken up from a hangover added with a concussion. I stood in front of my frightened parents. My dad got up and he walked to me, reaching over to place an arm around my shoulders, I only pushed him away with the small amount of energy that I had. He glared at me. My dad didn't seem to care that the back of my head was bleeding, because he slapped me directly where the skin was broken, and I stumbled forward, almost falling onto the coffee table.

"Bullfrog! STOP, HE'S BLEEDING!" My mom screamed.

"Not the first time he's bled, he's a suicidal teen, remember." Dad retorted.

I stood up right, and with unimaginable force, I swung my arm around, and my fist crashed with my dad's face, he stumbled, and held his nose which had blood pouring profusely out of his nostrils. I heard my mother gasp, and while my dad was trying to figure out what happened, I grabbed him by the shoulders and pulled him down, hard. His body was on the floor and I loomed over him.

"What are you doing, Elijah?" He growled.

I smirked, devilishly, and then glanced up at my mom who sat with a shocked, scared look in her eyes. I ignored it, and looked down at my father's face. I could see the fear clouding in his eyes. I had never held such a look in my eyes. I could tell it was animalistic, inhuman. Before my dad could get up, my foot slammed his neck down, and I kept it there, watching him struggle. My mom screamed, "Eli! Eli stop you're hurting him!"

"Now he knows how I fucking feel!" I screamed back.

I lifted my leg up, and started to kick his face, slamming the heel of my shoe into his face, breaking his nose, and busting his lip. Before I could do it again, my dad's hands shot up, and he grabbed my foot and twisted it, causing me to fall next to him. I was flipped over on my back, and my dad's body towered over mine. He glared down at me with his bleeding face, the blood dripped off his chin and landed on my face.

"You think you're going to win by beating me up?" Dad growled.

"Guys stop it!" My mom screamed as my dad grabbed the collar of my shirt and slammed his fist along my jaw, multiple times; I would be surprised if he didn't dislocate it. I tasted blood in my mouth and I spat it in his face, causing him to flinch. Dad picked us both up, and pushed my body against the wall, slamming my head against it. I groaned, and pulled my leg up, aiming right in between his legs. He fell next to me, groaning from the pain. I kicked his side, repetitively. He was lying on the floor, blood was pouring from his mouth, and I smiled wickedly.

"Eli! Eli stop it! STOP!" My mom begged.

"No! He deserves this! He deserves it!" I repeated. My foot kept crashing into his ribs, and I knew for a fact that I had broken a few of them.

My mom pulled me away from him and I ended up falling into the glass table, breaking it. I let out a sharp cough, and tried to move up, but my mom place a firm hand over my chest.

"Stay there, I'm calling an ambulance." She demanded.

I watched her run into the kitchen, and my dad and I glared at each other. I winced, and reached up to wipe the blood that dripped over my eye. As my mom was screaming at the person on the phone, begging them to hurry and bring an ambulance to the house, my dad staggered to his feet, and walked to me. He stared down at me; his body swayed as he made his way to me. I looked over at the kitchen, and my mom was still in there screaming.

Panic filled my eyes and my heart was beating fast as my dad stumbled his way to me. I wanted to scream for my mom, but nothing came out. Before anything could happen, the front door was slammed open, and I watched through half lidded eyes as my dad was pulled away. Everything seemed to grow silent and move in slow motion as my vision slowly blurred over. My body was lifted and I was place on an uncomfortable bed. My body was strapped down into it, and soon enough, everything went black.

…

…

Five Hours Later

…

…

_"E—li…"_

_"E—li… ple—ase wake up…"_

_"W-wake up, please…"_

**_Beep…_**

**_Beep…_**

**_Beep…_**

_"—oh please wake up… please…"_

_"Eli (sob) please wake up…"_

"Clare?"

"Oh Eli! You're finally awake! I was so worried, (sob) I was—Eli I'm so happy you're awake."

I slowly opened my eyes, and blinked a few times. I was in a white room with high ceiling, and a beeping sound echoed in my ears. I tried to blink my vision straight, and when I averted my gaze to the left, I saw Clare sitting next to my bed. Tears were pouring from her eyes and streaming down her cheeks; her eyes were bloodshot and puffy. I tried to sit up, but I was too tired to, which caused me to lie back on the bed. I weakly reached for her hand, which had an IV needle sticking out of it.

Clare took my hand in hers, carefully running her fingers over the needle sticking out of my hand. I breathed softly through my nose, loving the feel of her warm touch against my skin. Clare sobbed and she whimpered, "You almost… Eli you scared me."

"Clare don't cry… please…" I begged.

If there was something I hated, it would probably witnessing Clare crying in front of me. She tightened her grip on my hand and I winced. She apologized and I asked, "Where are—where's my mom? Does Adam know I'm here? Where is—

"Your mom is with your father, he just got out of surgery. The nurse told me to tell you that all your friends have been contacted, they should be here in a little while." Clare said. I looked blankly at the foot of the bed, and mumbled, "What friends?"

A young nurse about in her mid-twenties walked into the room. She smiled lightly.

"Oh, good you're awake. Your friends are waiting for you in the lobby. Do you want me to tell them it's okay for them to see you?" She asked.

I licked my bottom lip and looked over at Clare. She nodded her head, telling me that I should say yes. Before I told her my answer I asked, "Who is all here?"

"The hospital called Adam Torres, Mark Fitzgerald, and Jenna Middleton."

My face lit up, not from excitement, but both fear and hatred. Before I could tell the nurse, no, that I didn't want them to come in here, she left with a large smile on her face. The heart monitor started beeping rapidly, and I started to panic. I didn't want to see them! None of them!

"Eli, Eli calm down, it's okay." Clare said.

"No it's not! No it's not okay. I can't see them; I don't want to see them!" I shrieked. Clare stared at me quizzically. She pinned her eyebrows together, and I only clenched my fists, and stared at my legs that were covered with the white hospital blankets. She held my hand, and gave me a smile of reassurance, telling me that it was going to be okay without words. I wanted to believe her. If only she knew. About five minutes later, Adam walked in, but there was no sign of Fitz and Jenna. I sighed a little. Adam sat down on the other side of me, in the empty chair.

"Dude, I'm sorry…" He whispered.

I glanced up at him, and Adam looked back at me, upsettingly. He got closer to me and took my free hand in his. Adam whimpered, "Dude, you can't die on me please… I need you." I frowned and glanced over at Clare who held a sad expression on her gorgeous face. I slowly let the breath I was holding out, and lowered my gaze. I squeezed his hand, and Adam looked up at me with glazed eyes.

"I'm not going to leave, Adam. I didn't end up in the hospital because I was trying to kill myself. My dad and I got into a fight… he almost died, not me." Adam nodded and lowered his head. Clare rubbed her thumb around mine, and I glanced over at her, she gave me a small smile. Adam whimpered and I averted my gaze to him. His body was trembling, and when he looked up, tears were pouring from his eyes.

"Adam, don't cry please." I said.

"I'm trying not to… I can't—I'm just glad that you're okay… my mom told me you came by and that she said you gave me a black eye. I wanted to talk to you, but she wouldn't let me. And then hours later I get a call from the hospital…" Adam whimpered and reached up, wiping his tears with the sleeve of his loose jacket.

"Well, I'm okay now, so… don't cry Adam, please. You know I hate to see you cry." I stated honestly. He nodded and sighed shakily. Clare cleared her throat and got up when her phone started to ring in her pocket. She answered the phone, and I couldn't help but eavesdrop a little.

"Mom? Yes, I'm still at the hospital… yes; they're letting people see him… Okay, I'll talk to you later." Clare closed her phone and looked over at me. Adam and I looked at her oddly and she smiled sheepishly. Clare said, "My mom was just calling to see how you were." I nodded and almost jumped ten feet off the bed when I heard a loud, grungy voice call for Clare. It sounded like her father, but before she could get out checking if it were him, he had bolted into my room. He looked at me, then at Adam, and finally at Clare.

"I have been calling and calling for you. Why haven't you answered your phone?" He was shouting, and Clare only backed up against the wall. Adam and I were too shocked to even do anything. Clare whimpered, "I-I thought mom told you I was here."

"What did I tell you before, Clare? Your mother doesn't have a say in what you can and can't do. You ask me, and only me." He growled, stepping closer to her. I wanted to get out of the bed, but I couldn't even move. This was just too much for me to handle. I looked over at Adam and he glanced at me. I gave him a look, telling him to do something. But, Adam only shrugged.

"D-daddy I'm sorry… not here please." Clare whimpered.

He snorted and cornered Clare. I looked around for the remote on my bed, and grabbed it, pressing the button with the picture of a nurse on it more than I should have. About three nurses walked in asking if I were okay, and Mr. Edwards had pulled away from Clare quicker than ever. She looked at me with fear clouding her eyes. She mouthed "thank you" and I had just given her a look.

"Eli?"

I looked over at the nurse who called my name and she asked, "Are you okay? Do you need anything?" I nodded.

"Can you get everybody to leave? Except for Clare." I asked. I knew for a fact that Adam and Clare's father was glaring at me, but I didn't care. I have to talk to Clare, alone. Adam didn't need to be told twice, so he got up and walked out of the room. I looked over at Mr. Edwards and he glared back at me. Since he was playing this game, I glared right back at him. He muttered something inaudible under his breath, and I watched him storm out of the room.

"Would you like something else?" The nurse asked.

"No, I'm fine." I responded.

Clare slowly made her way to me, and she sat down nervously in the empty chair next to my bed. The only sound was the beeping of the heart monitor. She would occasionally glance up at me and, but I was still staring at her. She was hiding something from me… and I wanted to know. Clare sighed and she whispered, "My dad… he's… he's very—

"He hurts you." I interrupted her. Clare's eyes shot up to meet mine and she chewed on her bottom lip and nodded highly noticeably. I frowned and my face dropped. I suspected that he was doing something to Clare, so I was right. But, why didn't she tell me anything? Clare touched my face, cupping my cheek lightly. I swallowed hard and she whispered, "I didn't tell you anything, because I didn't want you to worry." I lowered my gaze and smiled softly. Clare dropped her hand from my face and grasped my hand. She was hesitant, but her fingers were slowly interlaced with mine. I leaned my head back on the bed and smiled.

"Ahem."

I looked over at the door.

"Jenna… what are you doing here?" I growled. Clare switched glances between me and Jenna. She cleared her throat nervously and said, "I-I think I should leave you guys alone." I watched her leave, a pathetic "please don't leave me" look on my face. Clare was out of the room, and it was only Jenna and me. She walked to the bed and sat down next to my legs. I refused to look at her. I didn't even dare look at her. Jenna touched my hand and I pulled it away, crossing my arms across my chest. Jenna was looking at me quizzically and I snorted in frustration.

"What are you doing here? You never talk to me anymore." I growled.

"That's because you shut me out, Eli." Jenna protested.

"Well give me a good reason why I shouldn't have! Jenna you did something so damn horrible, and then you expect me to talk to you after? You fucking fucked me, taped it, and showed the entire school! What kind of a sick fucking joke is that!" I shouted.

…

…

…

…

"Jenna is Eli's ex-girlfriend." Adam said.

"O-oh, so they're not dating?" I asked, almost in relief.

"Of course not, if you would've known what she did to him." Adam said. I chewed on my bottom lip and looked over at the door where Eli's room is. I could hear him screaming, but I couldn't understand what he was saying. I looked down at the tiled floor, and reached into my pocket to text my mother. I needed to tell her that I will need a ride in about thirty minutes. I couldn't get one from dad, because he left when Eli told him to leave. I looked over at Adam and he was staring at something ahead. I couldn't help it, but I looked too. Someone tall was walking in our direction.

"Are you emo boy's new girlfriend?" He asked me.

I blinked a few times and refused to answer him. I didn't know who he was, and he was very intimidating. Adam cut in, "Leave her alone Fitz, why are you here anyway? You don't give a rats ass if Eli is hurt or not." The boy Adam referred to as Fitz, laughed sardonically and I shuddered from it. He looked down at me and said, "I'm surprised he hasn't made you his girlfriend, he probably grew obsessed with you." I blushed and looked away. Eli? Obsessed? I don't think so…

"Think about it all you want candy pants, why do you think him and his ex-girlfriend broke up?" Fitz stated. I looked over at Adam and he looked ready to get up and punch Fitz in the face. The taller, and I presume older, male laughed and Adam and I both watched as he walked out of the hospital. I looked nervously at Adam and he quickly said, "Whatever you do Clare, do not ever trust that guy. He's bad news. Eli and Jenna broke up for a completely different reason."

I nodded and looked over at Eli's room. The girl named Jenna stormed out, and before she left she waved an accusing finger at me saying, "I wish you luck on that guy. He's the biggest jerk ever."

_'As far as I know, you're the one that's a jerk.'_ I thought.

Jenna stormed out of the hospital, and I got up and quickly headed into Eli's room. He looked angry. I walked to his bed and said, "I'm going to be leaving soon Eli. I'll come by to check on you tomorrow okay, I promis. I just wanted to say that, I hope you get better soon." Eli smiled faintly at me, and I turned to leave. I stood in the doorway and glanced over at him and he looked curiously at me. I licked my lips and walked to his bed. Hesitantly, I leaned forward, and brushed my lips against his cheek; I immediately felt his face flush red. When I pulled away, I too was blushing. Eli's nervous smile made me giggle, and I whispered goodbye again.

I walked out of the room and walked up to Adam, "Call me okay?" Adam nodded and he waved me off. As soon as I exited the hospital, I saw my mom's car parked at the front. She opened the door for me, and I climbed into the passenger's side of the car.

"How is he?" She asked.

"He's fine." I responded with a small yawn.

"You should go to bed when we get home, it's really late." Mom said. I nodded and she soon started to drive way from the hospital, and head home.

…

…

When I arrived home, I had immediately gone to bed. I was so tired; I could barely keep my eyes open. I tossed my body on my comfortable bed, and slowly closed my eyes. My mom had gone straight to bed as well. I sighed heavily and pulled the covers up over my body. I was so very tired and exhausted, that I didn't realize the door to my room was being opened. My eyelids were begging me to close them, and when I did, I felt a hand cover my mouth, and my heart stopped instantly.

My scream was muffled.

"If you move, I'll hurt you Clare. Don't move, don't scream, and this will be over as soon as possible."

My father's voice echoed in my ears and I whimpered and squeezed my eyes shut. He flipped me on my back and I clenched the blanket close to my body. He pulled hard on it, yanking it off my body. My jaw clenched and I whimpered. I wanted to open my mouth and scream, scream for my mom or even Darcy, but I knew if I did, he would do something that would keep my mouth shut. His hands were roaming inside my shirt, grazing across my stomach.

I tilted my head to the side and let the tears fall from the corners of my eyes, wetting my pillow case. I sobbed silently as my shorts were yanked down, along with my underwear. I heard the zipper of his pants being pulled down and I squeezed my eyes shut. I lay there, lifeless looking and I jumped at the feeling of him entering me. I cried silently. I never cried from the pain anymore… The pain was long gone; all I cried for was the fact that my own father… was doing this to me.

He was thrusting harder.

Faster…

"St-stop! Stop daddy… please stop." I whimpered.

"Shut up, Clare." He growled.

"Daddy—daddy stop… please… stop it… daddy I'll scream." I sobbed.

"No you won't…" He pulled away from me, and I watched as he climbed off the bed. He was breathing heavily and he exited the room. I pulled my legs up to my chest and sobbed uncontrollably. I wanted to scream. I wanted to cry out for help, but nothing would escape my lips, but heavy crying, sobs. I hugged my legs, curling up into fetal position. I sobbed in my pillow, whimpering softly. When I closed my eyes, I saw Eli's face. I started to cry harder wondering what he would think of me if he found out my father rapes me. I could see his reaction in my head. Eli will turn me away… he will—_leave me alone_…

As I lay there crying, I wondered why it wasn't that Darcy and my mom could hear what he does to me at night; I wondered how they couldn't hear him… raping me. The sounds of the headboard thumping against the wall… everything… how could they not hear it? Were they ignoring it? I hugged my legs tighter, and pulled the covers up, shielding my body with its warmth. I whispered Eli's name, and wished that he was here with me. To calm me down… to hold me—tell me that everything will be okay…

It was only moments later, that I had yanked the covers off me, and walked to the bathroom. When I flicked the light switch on, I looked at myself in the mirror. My cheeks were stained with tears, and as my eyes looked down, the place in between my legs was bleeding. I clenched my fists. No matter how many times my father has raped me; I would always end up bleeding. I reached into the drawer wear I kept the scissors and small towel. I looked at the dried blood on the towel and opened the pair of scissors.

I lifted my sleeve, and placed the scissors against my wrist. Placing hard pressure, I pulled the blade of the scissors back, and watched blood begin to pour from the scar, creating a new, fresh cut over it. It didn't take long for a puddle to form beneath my dangling arm. I moved back, and slid down against the wall.

I could feel the blood continuously pouring from my cut, and I knew that I had cut too deep. Was I going to die? I wouldn't be surprised if I did… dying sounds like something I would want. No more rape… no more ignorance, no more pain, and no more fake love. I weakly got up to my knees, and reached for the towel. My breath came out in short pants, and just as I grabbed the towel, my body collapsed, and I lay flat on the floor of the bathroom. I wasn't about to die. Not yet…

With all the strength I had, I pushed my body up from the floor, and reached up to grab the towel. I pressed it against my cut wrist, and whimpered from the feeling. It felt so good, but it hurt so much as well too. I decided to not move. I leaned against the wall, and kept the towel pressed firmly against my cut.

I closed my eyes and thought of Eli.

I promised I was going to see Eli tomorrow, and I wasn't going to die on him… I refuse to leave him alone in the situation he's in.

* * *

Okay I know this chapter sucked, I'm not too fond of how it came out… So yeah, um, reviews? I do apologize if you guys got disturbed, but you have been warned, hell I warn you in every chapter about how dark and gruesome it's going to be, so you can't complain. The next chapter will be less dark, less intense. So, if you want it, review!

Oh, and I apologize again for the short chapter. I didn't intend for it to end so quickly, but I promise the next chapter will be longer.


	14. feathers

Disclaimer: Degrassi is something I don't own, sadly… I do own Eli's five year old cousin though, Maureen.

A/N: Oh my god, over four hundred reviews! Woo! I'm so happy! So, yeah this chapter is going to have some fluffiness. I don't have much to say about this chapter. There will be no warnings. This chapter will be all about Eli and Clare; you guys totally deserve some Eli and Clare time.

* * *

Alibis

Summary: Waiting for change to lead him down a more innocent path, death obsessed Elijah Goldsworthy finds it in a blue eyed beauty, but perhaps with an even darker past than his own.

* * *

CHAPTER 14

"Good morning, Eli. I brought you something to eat." The nurse walked in, holding a tray full of hospital food. I grimaced, but smiled faintly at her as she placed it over the small moving table that lay over my lap. I watched her smile and exit the room, leaving me alone to watch T.V. and eat in peace. I grabbed the white, plastic fork and moved the supposed scrambled eggs around. It looked disgusting, but I soon forked some into my mouth, only to spit them out moments later.

I hated hospital food, it was always either never cooked right or it just tasted like complete shit. I pushed it aside and reached over and took the glass full of orange juice in my hand and wrapped my lips around the straw. While taking a sip, I flipped through the channels. My eyes averted to the door when I heard someone knocking on it.

"Eli…"

"Mom, what are you doing here?"

"Eli you're my son, I have to come check on you. I came in last night, but you were sleeping." She responded. Mom walked over to me and sat down next to my bed in the empty chair. We stayed silent and she said, "Your father asked about you."

"What the hell for?" I questioned. The bastard put me in the hospital and then he's going to ask about me? He's never cared before, and I don't think I should either. I clenched my fist, now hoping that Clare would walk through the door, and make my mom leave. I refused to look at her.

"Eli, your father loves you, even after what's happened."

"That so funny." I growled, adding a sarcastic laugh after. My mom's lips pressed into a line and she sighed. I'm sorry for her, but there was no way in hell that I was going to buy this. My father doesn't love me, if he did he would never drink. He would never beat me. He would never insult me. He would never make fun of me being suicidal. And, he would never try to kill me. It's all just bull shit lies that my mother was spitting out. She was just trying to make me feel better.

"So, what were you dreaming of last night?" She asked, breaking me from my thoughts.

I blinked over at her, giving her a questioning look. Did I have any idea what she was talking about? No, I did not.

"You were moaning in your sleep. Were you having a nightmare?"

I slowly looked at the wall before me, my stare becoming blank as I tried to remember what exactly I dreamt of last night. My face turned a little red, and I licked my bottom lip. I looked over at my mom – the face she put made it completely clear that I had suddenly remembered my dream. I was dreaming about Clare, but it wasn't one of those dreams. She was hurting… she was bleeding, and I kept calling her name and she wouldn't answer. I woke up about an hour after I had fallen asleep – which was about four in the morning. The dream I had of Clare, was very gruesome, something horrid that you would see on T.V when you watched a girl's wrists being cut open, enough that you could see the veins.

"Eli, honey are you okay?" Mom asked.

"Yeah, I'm just – I'm fine… just dozed off a little." I smiled weakly at her. Mom got up and she pats my head stating, "I'm going to go check on your father, I'll be back in a little bit okay?" I nodded and looked away as she kissed my temple. Pathetically, yet relieved, I watched her exit my room. I pushed my breakfast away, and reached for the remote, flipping slowly through the limited channels that I could watch.

Occasionally – every five minutes – I would look over at the clock. It's ten thirty in the morning now, and I was getting anxious for Clare to come see me like she promised. Since I'm here waiting, I figured it would be okay to walk around. I needed to stretch my legs; I could already feel a cramp coming. As I pulled the sheets off, I moved my legs to the side of the bed, and hopped off. I turned around hearing someone walk in.

"Eli, what are you doing up?" The nurse that stepped inside my room asked me.

"Um, I wanted to just stretch… I also have to use the bathroom, so would you mind?" I motioned for her to leave and she smiled timidly before exiting my room, closing the door behind her, after she grabbed my half eaten breakfast. Looking down at my hand, I frowned, realizing that I had the IV needle still stuck in my hand, which meant I had to take the IV with me. I sighed and walked into the bathroom.

I looked at myself in the mirror. To be honest, I looked like complete shit. After splashing cold water on my face, I walked out of the bathroom and was greeted by Adam's face.

"Morning Eli." He smiled.

"Yeah… whatever." I groaned. I lazily walked to my bed and hopped on it.

"So, when are you getting out of here?" Adam asked.

I shrugged my shoulders answering, "I don't even know yet. I want to get out of here now. I can't stand hospitals… I want to – well—

"You want to see Clare, right?" Adam finished my sentence. Slowly, I nodded. I couldn't blame myself, I missed her, so much. I know I saw her yesterday, but – I didn't get the chance to actually talk to her. She was with me the entire time, pleading for me to wake up and I hardly got the chance to actually talk to her after. Her father came in and started screaming at her, and Adam was just sitting there. When I told them to leave, Jenna decided to walk in and put me through hell.

"Fitz was talking to Clare when you and Jenna were in here yelling at each other." Adam said.

"What did he say?" I panicked.

"He was just being an ass, telling Clare that you grew obsessed with her and that's the reason why you and Jenna broke up, but I told her that she shouldn't believe what Fitz has to say." Adam responded quickly. I nodded and chewed on my bottom lip. I turned quickly to him asking, "Does she know why we broke up? Adam you didn't tell her did you?" Adam shook his head and placed his hand over mine gently, keeping a mental note that it hurts when someone touches my hand with the IV needle sticking out of it.

"No, Eli you told me to keep that a secret, I won't tell anybody something like that. You trust me, right?" Adam asked me.

I smiled faintly and nodded hesitantly. It's not that I don't trust him, it's just the fact that – I don't know what I would do if Clare found out. I don't want her to get the wrong side of the story. I frowned and glanced over at the clock, it's almost eleven. Adam snickered and said, "Look. I'm going to go get something to drink; I'll be back in a little bit, just keeping praying that your Clare-bear will be coming in soon."

I watched Adam leave and I sighed heavily and lay back on the bed.

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…

…

"Clare! Clare-bear are you ready to go to the hospital?"

I slowly pulled on my thin white short sleeve shirt and then I slipped on my lacy white arm-warmers to shield the cut I had created last night. It was still slightly bleeding when I woke up this morning, but I had wrapped it with some gauze. I checked my outfit, making sure it was okay. After I pulled on my denim skinny jeans, I slipped on my light blue ballet flats and hopped down the stairs.

I smiled at my mother when she saw me, but the smile soon faded when my father walked out of the kitchen, drying his hands with a dish rag. Tension built up, and I immediately turned tail and bolted out the front door, my mother was following behind me. The door to her dark green corolla was unlocked and I quickly climbed into the passenger's side of the car.

"Clare is something wrong?" Mom asked me while she turned the ignition on in the car.

"Mom I – did you hear anything last night?" I asked her, turning my attention from the window to meet her gaze. She blinked a few times.

"What exactly was I supposed to be hearing?" She asked while pulling out of the driveway. I frowned and licked my bottom lip. I smiled nervously and said, "N-never mind… but is it okay if we talk later? I have something that I want to discuss with you." She nodded and smiled at me. After telling her that, I felt like the biggest thirty pound weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I reached up and tucked my hair behind my ear and looked out the window. It didn't take us long to arrive at the hospital. When I closed the door behind me I looked through the window and my mom said, "I'll pick you up in an hour, okay?"

I nodded and waved her off. I turned around and started to make my way into the hospital, and headed straight to Eli's room. The door was slightly open. I extended my arm out, and pushed the door open and peaked around the corner, finding Adam and Eli talking silently to each other. I cleared my throat and knocked on the wall.

"Oh, hey Clare." Adam smirked.

I smiled softly at him, "Hi Adam." I made my way to the other side of Eli's bed and sat down in the chair.

"Good morning Eli. How are you feeling?" I asked. Eli looked over at Adam, motioning for him to leave; he glared at him, not in a mean way, but basically telling Adam to leave. Adam took the hint because he scurried out of the room, saying something along the lines that his mother might be waiting outside for him, so it was time for him to leave anyway. Eli and I sat in the room by ourselves.

"I'm doing fine by the way, now that you're here." Eli smiled a little.

"That's good, when are you going to be getting out of here?" I asked, but Eli shrugged. I frowned and chewed on my bottom lip.

"Can you walk around at least?"

"Yeah, up and down this hallway, but I refuse to get out of bed at this moment." Eli said.

"Awe, why not?" I questioned.

Eli laughed. I hissed when the sudden pain in my wrist began to hurt. I clenched it and looked away. I knew Eli had a confused look on his face, but I refused to look at him. He sat up and reached down, softly grasping the arm I held. I whimpered, "No – Eli I don't—

"Clare, let me see… please." He whispered. I loosened my grip and Eli motioned me to move closer to him. I picked up the chair and held out my arm to him. Eli's grip on my arm was gentle as he pulled down my arm warmer. I looked up at him through my bangs and felt at ease when I noticed his facial reaction. He didn't look extremely mad, but he wasn't happy either. Eli unwrapped the gauze from my wrist and I whimpered again, the skin that had started to heal lightly was being pulled. My gaze moved from his face, to his fingers, which slowly ghost over the cut.

Eli whispered, "Why did you cut yourself so deeply, Clare?"

The memories of me cutting myself last night flooded my mind as I closed my eyes. And then, my dad raping me popped into my head as well. My eyes snapped open and I swallowed hard, gulping. Eli asked, "Clare? Why?" I couldn't tell him that I cut because my dad raped me. I'm not ready to go that far into telling Eli my home life. I made up a quick lie, "When I got home, my dad started screaming at me again… he um… he hit me… a-across the face." Eli continued to brush his thumb gently back and forth over my cut.

"Clare I can't tell you not to cut yourself, because it would make me a hypocrite, but… I don't want you to – Clare, please don't cut this deep…" Eli said.

I blinked up at him in slight surprise. Our eyes met for a brief moment, and Eli surprised me with the thing he did next; he brought his lips down to my wrist, and he placed a small kiss there. I blushed and smiled, turning my head away. Eli reached for my arm warmer and slipped it on. Since the cut had stopped bleeding, it wouldn't stain. I glanced up at Eli and noticed that he was blushing lightly. I smiled and took his hand in mine.

I flipped his arm over, and traced my fingers over his cuts, and then to the one that he created not long ago. It wasn't bleeding, but it was still very red. Although I've known Eli for a little over two weeks now, I didn't like the idea of him harming himself. I've fallen for this boy harder than any other boy that I've ever liked. And, just the thought of losing him, it makes my chest hurt. I know he feels the same way about me, I can tell. I can't imagine leaving Eli, because I decided to end my life. I can't imagine the face he would have, what would happen to him… The very thought brought tears to my eyes.

"Clare?"

"Huh? What? I'm sorry – I just dozed off." I smiled sheepishly at him.

"Clare, will you um promise me you won't cut that deep?" Eli asked. I blinked a few times and looked down at my wrist.

I sighed, "Eli, I can't promise anything, but I'll do my best." Eli nodded.

"That's good enough for me." He said.

I smiled at him and sighed lightly. Eli was such an understanding person; I don't understand why people were so harsh to him. Eli reached down and he grabbed my hand. I let him interlace our fingers together and I blushed and looked away. His hands were so soft, and his touch is always so gentle.

"Eli?" I looked towards the door, watching Eli's mother walk in.

"Oh, Clare – how are you?" Cece asked me.

"I've been better." I honestly responded. Cece nodded and she stood nervously at the foot of Eli's bed. He was staring at her, and it wasn't very pleasant.

She cleared her throat, "Um the doctor said that you should be getting out today. Your father would remain for another week or so." I smiled excitedly at Eli, and he nodded. Cece walked out of the room leaving us alone again. It wasn't until moments later where a nurse and a doctor walked in. The doctor was young. He smiled at me and I got up and walked across the room as the nurse started to pull the needle out of Eli's hand. She placed a band aid over it and handed Eli his clothes that they removed when he was brought into the hospital.

"Eli, if you need anything, have any questions, if the stitches on the back of your head feel uncomfortable or fall out, don't hesitate to come back. We'll fix it, okay?" The doctor said. Eli nodded and I watched him get out of the bed and my eyes went to the spot where I could faintly see the stitches and the long open scar. I smiled at the nurse and the doctor as they walked out of the room. I patiently waited for Eli to get out of the bathroom. I would have to call my mom to come pick me up early, but I think Eli and I could walk home, or take the bus, I do have some extra money, so it wouldn't be bad. The door to the bathroom was opened and he stepped out.

"So, um, would you like to get a ride home or… we can take the bus, or a taxi or—

"I'd like to walk; it might be far, but… I like walking." Eli said.

"Oh, well… um it's kind of far, my mom is coming to pick me up, so I mean, I'd hate for you to walk home by yourself." I said. Eli walked up to me, and I backed up against the wall. I gasped when my back came in contact with the wall behind me. Eli reached up and he cupped my cheek and I looked away, his hand moved to the nape of my neck and I began to panic, I reached up and pushed his hand away, out of instinct. Eli stared at me confusedly. I felt a little bad because of the look he gave me. It wasn't my intention to do that, it's just… my father does this to me, and I panicked.

"I-I'm sorry, I have to go." I stammered.

"Clare, wait." Eli reached out and he grabbed my hand, turning me around. I looked up at him nervously and he cupped my cheek asking in a soft whisper, "What's wrong, did I do something? I'll ride home with you if you want." I reached up, placing my hand over his. I leaned into the touch and nodded, closing my eyes. Eli smiled and he dropped his hand from my face. I reached down and grabbed his hand in mine. We both smiled and I led him out of the hospital. We walked out, hand in hand, and I never felt so happy about it.

My mother would be coming in possibly thirty minutes tops, so Eli and I could talk while we wait. We sat down on a bench, closer than I intended to. We were silent to my dismay.

"So, Eli um – this school Degrassi, what is it like?" I asked.

"To be honest, it's not that great. It's kind of boring; I mean I think it is, you might not think it is." Eli shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly. I nodded and licked my bottom lip. I didn't know why, but I had the sudden urge to ask him about Fitz, and his previous relationship with Jenna, but I don't think it would be such a good idea. It might be a touchy subject, talking about Jenna I mean. But, Fitz, he is someone I have to know about.

"Eli," He glanced at me, "can you tell me about Fitz?"

Eli's face dropped and he looked down at the ground. I sighed and kicked the rock on the ground, watching it tumble its way across the road.

"He's um… just one of those guys that treat me like shit at school. We've known each other since we were young, but you know, he just never taken a liking to me. Calls me trashy names in front of my family, as well as my baby cousin, but I mean—

"Your cousin as in, umm… Maureen?" I asked. Eli nodded.

"Do you and Maureen get along well?" Eli nodded again as I turned to face him. He did the same, and laced our fingers together. I smiled. It was like my hand was meant to be in his, it fit perfectly, and I liked it very much.

Even if Eli and I aren't together, his small gestures, hugging me, holding my hand, revealing small secrets to me, it all summed up that he wanted something more. Maybe he trusts me? I don't know. Eli licked his lips and I blushed and looked away. Eli whispered, "Clare look at me." I slowly turned my head to him, my eyes were fixated on his t-shirt; Eli reached up and tilted my chin up. Our eyes met, and I had suddenly gotten lost in those dark green orbs that I adored with a strong, fiery passion. Eli's eyes were breathtaking; I don't think I could ever get tired of looking into them.

Eli's eyes drifted from mine, and I watched them down, and glance at my lips. I sucked my bottom lip into my mouth and swallowed nervously. I felt everything around us just quiet down, and disappear; Eli moved closer to me, and I soon found myself leaning into him as well. I hesitated, bringing my lips back; I looked up into Eli's eyes, which were now looking into mine, they were glazed, half lidded. I slowly closed my eyes and Eli leaned in closer to me, I blushed, feeling his lips brush against mine.

"Will you let me kiss you, Clare?"

My lips parted and I gasped lightly. Eli's lips continued to graze mine, and I pulled away hearing a car honking. Eli and I swiftly pulled apart, and the car that honked pulled up in front of us. It was my mother of course. I cursed at her and got up, walking to the window.

"Mom, Eli needs a ride home, um, can he ride with us?" I asked. She nodded and I turned around and Eli got up from the bench, and climbed into the back seats while I sat in the passenger seat.

The ride home was a little awkward, because when I looked over at my mom, she would flash me a small smile, telling me without words that she saw what happened. While looking into the side mirror, I saw Eli and he was looking blankly out the window, but he was also smiling.

I guess he was happy that he and I almost kissed. If it wasn't for my mother interrupting the moment, I would've let him. I was just nervous. I hadn't kissed a boy in such a long time. My ex-boyfriend's kisses were hesitant, chaste, like he didn't want to kiss me. And my father… well I wouldn't count his kisses. I shuddered at the thought. The kisses that Eli placed on my cheek, and on my wrist, were warm. His lips were so soft, and I could only imagine how they would feel against mine.

"Clare, Clare we're home."

I looked around and noticed that the car was off, and I was still sitting in the passenger seat, Eli held the car door open as I stepped out. He shut it and my mom walked inside, leaving Eli and I alone, standing in the driveway. I walked around so I was standing against the back of the car, Eli followed. I cleared my throat and Eli said, "Do you want to come over later, so we can finish the movie?"

I blinked up at him and smiled wide, nodding quickly, my curly hair bounced as I did this. Eli smiled and he shoved his hands into his pockets and said, "Well um, I guess I'll see you later." I quickly wrapped my arms around his waist, and he slowly linked his around my shoulders. Since Eli was much taller than me, it felt good, my nose barely brushed the skin on his neck, and I could faintly smell him. Eli smelled woodsy, a strong masculine scent, but then there was a sweet smell that lingered on his flesh, it mixed, and it made his scent just that more desirable.

Just as I was pulling away, Eli tightened his grip on me and whispered, "Don't go, not yet…" I nodded and held onto him. He moved so he was leaning against the car, and I sighed heavily, feeling so safe in his arms. The breeze picked up and I closed my eyes, loving the feeling of being in Eli's arms.

Hugging Eli was an amazing feeling. He was warm, he was so warm…

"Clare-bear! It's time to come inside now." I heard my mom call. Eli and I both sighed, and I pulled away from him. He reached up hesitantly and brushed my hair behind my ear. I smiled and said, "Um, I'll call you before I come over, what time did you say?"

"Seven is fine. Just so you know we might be alone, my mom won't leave my dad if he's in the hospital. Will your parents mind it?" Eli asked me. Of course they would mind, me being alone in a boys house, is a ticket to a month of being grounded. I chewed on my bottom lip and said, "They do mind, but I have a better idea, how about you come over and we can watch the movie together in my living room?" Eli's face lit up and he nodded quickly.

"Okay, we can have a movie night; I'll order some pizza and drinks. I'll see you later Eli." I smiled and Eli hugged me before he started walking across the road. I sighed and turned around, heading straight into my house. I closed the door behind me, and leaned against it, smiling widely.

I walked to the laundry room and opened the door, Beauty hopped off from her small dog bed and I picked her up. I held Beauty close to my chest, rubbing her behind the ear, while I made my way into the kitchen where mom sat at the table, reading a magazine and drinking some coffee. I cleared my throat and she looked up through her glasses.

"Um, Eli is coming over to finish watching a movie that we started at his place." She nodded and said, "I'll let your father know." I nodded and walked into the living room, and sat down on the couch. I placed Beauty next to me and she curled up into a ball. I smiled a little and turned the TV on.

"Mom, I'm going to meet Peter at the Dot, I'll be back in a little bit." Darcy said as she bounced down the stairs, and headed out the front door, not waiting for my mother to respond. Darcy has taken a strong liking to this Peter guy, he was nice mind you, but I don't know he just seems a little off. Maybe because he wasn't my type; I flipped through the channels and soon settled into watching a romance movie that was playing on the movie channels.

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…

**"You almost kissed her!"** Adam screamed on the other end.

I smiled and stared up at the ceiling, my hand behind my head. I was too happy to feel the slight pain on the back of my head where the stitches lie.

"Yeah, she was really hesitant though, but I mean I could tell she wanted to." I responded.

**"That's good, I'm glad you're finally moving on, Eli. You don't need Jenna and her problems."** Adam said. I rolled my eyes and responded, "She invited me over tonight, so we won't be able to hang out, but we can hang out tomorrow if you want?"

**"Yeah, sure that's fine. I'm busy anyway, Fiona called me earlier, and she asked me to hang out."**

"Fiona, Fiona as in your ex-girlfriend?" I asked.

Adam remained silent on the other end, and I frowned. I never really liked her. She was always drinking, and it caused their break-up. Adam was devastated, but I guess if they're working things out, it's okay. He loves Fiona, but I probably will never like her. I'll be nice to her, but not to the point where I would actually like her.

**"Sorry, yeah. I'll talk to you later okay Eli?"** Adam said.

"Okay, bye." I responded.

He hung up and I closed my phone and stared at the ceiling of my room. The house was so empty; it was almost scary because it was so quiet. I sat up and looked around my room. I was let out of the hospital about an hour ago, and I had nothing else better to do. I'll be going to Clare's house in a few hours, but I don't know if I could wait that long. I groaned and brought my hands to my face, sighing heavily. I was a little too anxious, I wanted to actually get the chance to kiss Clare, and now that I'm going over to her place, I know I'll have the chance to…

Hopefully…

End of Chapter 14

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You can only guess what's going to happen next :) Reviews?


	15. breathing breathless

Disclaimer: Degrassi is something I don't own, sadly… I do own Eli's five year old cousin though, Maureen, nor do I own Sum 41. I will just be mentioning them.

A/N: You guys are really great! I love reading your reviews and your predictions for this story! From a fellow private messenger, I shall name them Anonymous, anyway. You, my dear friend, asked if there is any chance that I could give you guys all a hint on what's going to happen between Eli and Clare's relationship. Will there be drama? Will there be bloodshed, etc. Well, Anonymous friend, I can't answer that. It will spoil the story, and I want to keep you guys guessing. That's really the point of this story, it's supposed to make you cry, feel disturbed, and love it all at the same time.

The other question, I can't predict when the romance happens; it will be far along this story though… I mean I'm building up the relationship, it's the fifteenth chapter now, and they haven't even kissed yet. Not much will happen after, because this story isn't meant to be rushed. Eli and Clare are both broken people, and (from experience) there's not much they could do without being scared about what's going to happen.

Next question, will I be using Eli's hoarding issue in this story? No, I will not be using his hoarding issue. He's already "messed up" enough, so I don't need to add this in here. And besides, I mean Julia isn't going to be mentioned in this story, so there's not point.

I hope this answered your questions!

Enjoy! You guys are going to love this chapter :)

Warnings: Um, I don't really know how to explain this warning :/ So, I'll just let you know that there is a warning towards the end of this chapter. So, be prepared.

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Alibis

Summary: Waiting for change to lead him down a more innocent path, death obsessed Elijah Goldsworthy finds it in a blue eyed beauty, but perhaps with an even darker past than his own.

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CHAPTER 15

"Mom, can we talk now?"

"Sure, Clare, sit down."

I smiled and took a seat at the table, and placed Beauty on top of it. She lay down and looked around. I licked my bottom lip and cleared my throat. I didn't know exactly how to start this conversation. Mom, dad rapes me at night while you and Darcy sleep. Yeah, that sounds great. My mom cleared her throat and I blinked up at her, and swallowed heavily. Taking a deep breath, I said, "Mom, it's about dad."

She nodded and folded her hands across the table. My chest began to tighten and I sighed softly. I can do this.

"He um—when you guys, Darcy and you, are sleeping… since I was ten he's been coming into my room at night, and um…" My sentence trailed off and my tone became a hushed whisper. I glanced up at her and she held a shocked look in her eyes. Mom's jaw dropped and she closed it again; I watched her get up and sit in the chair next to mine. She was about to say something else until interrupted with the sound of the front door being opened.

"Clare, we're going to continue this conversation later." Mom said.

"But mom, I'm trying to tell you something important—

"Later, Clare… now go and watch T.V. But, put Beauty to sleep first, it's getting late."

I opened and closed my mouth. Did that just happen? She didn't even flinch. She didn't even suspect anything. I picked Beauty up from the table and carried her to her room. I placed her in the bed, and she curled up, and went to sleep quickly. I smiled faintly and walked out of the laundry room, shutting the door behind me in the process. I was walking into the living room where I could hear my mom and dad talking. When I turned around the corner to take a small peak, my mom was cornered by my dad.

"Clare is lying! I would never touch her, she doesn't know what she's talking about, she's a sick child, remember what the doctor told us? She'll make up lies, and she'll imagine things that aren't there, and that aren't being done." I heard my father's voice hiss.

I swallowed hard and looked at my mother's face when she closed her eyes and nodded. It was if she was scared. I quickly walked upstairs to my room. I was breathing heavily, erratically. My mom didn't believe me… I wasn't imaging anything! I didn't imagine anything, dad was on top of me, he was – he raped me. I didn't imagine it… My breaths came out in short pants, and I moved my hands into my hair, and looked down at the floor.

I clenched my eyes shut, and sat down on the floor against my bed. I couldn't breathe, not normally at least. Reaching up, I clenched my shirt just above my chest, and closed my eyes. I took a deep, long breath, and let it out slowly. My eyes slowly moved from my feet and I turned around to check the time. It's four now, just three more hours, and Eli will be coming over. Sadly, I couldn't wait that long. I want him over here now. I want to see him.

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June 16, 2010

_It's been a while since I've written… _

_I haven't been gotten around the chance to, and now that I do have the time, I have many things to say._

_Clare and I have been talking more than ever now. She's probably the first girl since Jenna that I have really liked. Adam says that I have more developed feelings for her, like love. I think I do love Clare, I'm not sure. It might just be a strong liking. She's not like any other girl I've met. Clare's very understanding. She knows just what to say, and that just makes her more amazing. Clare… she's a cutter. I didn't expect her to be a cutter, but I don't know her that well enough to understand why she does it._

_It might be because of her father, I suspected that her father hits her; she told me earlier today that he hit her when she got home last night. I don't get why he would hurt her. Clare is such a gentle person, a sweet human being, and he hits her. Because of what, I don't know… I'm willing to find out though… I care about Clare, and if it means I have to know why he hits her, I'll do whatever it takes to keep her safe. _

I put my pen down, and closed my notebook, and shoved it into the drawer of my nightstand. It was barely after four, and I was already growing bored. I don't understand why I set the time so late. I could be hanging out with Clare right now. I sighed heavily and got up. I walked out of my room, and headed down the hall and made my way to the kitchen.

After opening the pantry – to look for something to eat – I frowned. Of course, there would be nothing to eat. My stomach made an unlikely sound, telling me that I should eat. I would, if there was something to make. I walked to the freezer, and opened it, glancing inside; I sucked on my bottom lip.

"This sucks." I slammed the freezer door shut, and walked to the living room. Just when as I was about to turn the T.V. on, across the house, I could hear my phone ringing. I bolted down the hall and grabbed my phone that was blinking on my nightstand.

"Hello?"

**"Hey Eli."**

"Hey Clare, what's up?"

For some reason, I got a little worried that she was calling because she wanted to cancel. I hope that wasn't the case.

**"You said you play drums, right?"** Clare asked.

"Yeah."

**"Well, since I have nothing better to do, and because I'm um, a little bit bored, do you think I can come over, and well… watch you play?"** She was quiet on the other end. I chewed on my bottom lip. I walked to the room where I play and looked around; the blood stain was still there on the carpet. I'd have to say a little white lie for that. After a few minutes, I finally answered, "Yeah, you can come over now. Um, my mom isn't home though."

**"It's okay; I'll be there in a few minutes."**

Before I could respond, the line went dead on the other end. I closed my phone and waited patiently for Clare in the living room. It wasn't until moments later when the doorbell rang. I got up from the couch and walked to the door. When I unlocked and opened it, I was greeted by glassy blue eyes, and an upset face. I frowned and stepped to the side, giving Clare a confused look as she looked back before entering my house. When I closed the door, she was looking down at the floor.

"Clare?"

"Eli, where's your bathroom?"

Clare's voice was shaky, and I couldn't help but think something was wrong. Her hands were clenched by her sides, and when I looked down at them, I noticed that blood was dribbling from her closed fist. Pinning my eyebrows together, I held a confused look on my face, and I reached down and grabbed her hand. She whimpered and moved away, backing up against the wall.

"Clare, what's wrong?" I asked.

"Your bathroom, where is it?"

"Clare, what's in your hand?"

"Nothing, I just—

I interrupted her by grabbing her hand, and pulling her fist open. She held a razor blade in her palm, which had cut her skin, it was bleeding slightly. She whimpered and sobbed uncontrollably, her body shaking before me. I dropped the razor from my hand and asked, "Clare what's wrong?" She answered with a choked sob. I reached up and lifted her chin; her blue eyes scanned my face as tears streamed down her face. I cupped her cheek, wiping her tears away with my thumb.

"What's wrong?" I asked again.

"N-nothing, I just… I'm just crying because I want to… I'm always crying…"

"Clare." I groaned, getting a little annoyed.

"My dad was just – he said some things, I just… I just wanted to get out of there. Eli, can you… can you hold me? Please?" Clare looked up at me when she casted her eyes down to the floor. I nodded and slowly wrapped my arms around her shoulders. Her arms moved around my waist, and she buried her head into my shoulder, crying heavily. I rubbed her back softly, and Clare tightened her grip on me, whimpering something that I couldn't quite comprehend. I pulled back and whispered, "Clare don't cry, please… I don't like to see you cry."

"Why? Because I'm – I'm ugly? Is that why? I'm ugly when I cry?"

"Clare… I wasn't going to say that… Clare you know I don't think you're ugly." I said, trying to hide the pain in my voice. She looked up at me and I brushed her tears away with my thumb again, tracing down to her bottom lip. Clare's lips quivered against my touch and I dropped my hand. Clare sniffled and I smiled softly at her.

"So, do you want to watch me play now?"

Clare nodded and I took her hand in mine and led her to the room in the back of my house. I stated, "Um, there's a bathroom right there if you want to wash your hands." Clare looked down and nodded. She headed into the bathroom and I heard the faucet water run as I was looking through my CDs. I always seem to play better when there's music blasting. I grabbed one of my Sum 41 CDs, and inserted it to the player. Clare had just stepped out and I placed a chair a few feet away from my drum set.

"Thank you." She smiled. I nodded and scanned the back of the CD case, searching for a song that I could play to. I heard Clare move, and she ended up behind me. I glanced back at her and she whispered, "Can I get something to drink?" Nodding slowly, Clare smiled and disappeared for a few minutes as I continued to glance through the song list, trying to find something suitable to play along to.

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…

…

I had disappeared out of Eli's room for just a few minutes, but I wasn't getting something to drink. Eli had dropped the razor blade on the floor somewhere, and I needed to get it back. I was searching desperately for it, searching the floor quickly. When I stepped on something, I looked under my foot and smiled victoriously when I found it. I picked up the highly blood covered razor, and shoved it into the pocket of my jeans.

I headed into the kitchen to get something to drink, so Eli wouldn't suspect anything. After reaching into the fridge – grabbing a bottle of water – I walked back to the room and sat down in the chair that Eli pulled up for me.

"Um, yeah… I get a little nervous when someone is watching me play, so bear with me i-if I mess up." Eli said. I giggled and nodded, folding my hands on my lap.

"Can you play the third song for me?" I got up from the chair and pushed the button with the two little arrows painted on it, and then the play button. I walked back to the chair and sat down, folding my hands on my lap again. Eli smiled nervously at me as he held the drumsticks in his hands. I found this to be quite exciting. I believe that any guy or girl, who plays any sort of instrument, has skills. And Eli, well he gets extra points with me, because I have a weakness for bad boys who play drums.

The song started to play and I flinched, not expecting it to be blasting. Eli laughed just as he started to play. I rolled my eyes at him and sat in amaze, as I watched him. Eli playing amuses me. I couldn't stop smiling throughout the entire "show". He was really good too. Even if the music was blasting in the room, I could still hear him, and like I said, he was really good. For a brief moment, our eyes met, and I blushed when he smirked at me. Just as the song came to an end, I chirped, "Eli that was amazing! You're so good!"

"Thanks." He smiled softly.

"Can you teach me?" I was a little intrigued and watching Eli play, made me want to learn, and since he's probably the only person I know that would give free lessons, I thought I'd try once. Eli smiled, "Sure, um… come here." I hopped up from the chair and walked over to him as he turned the music off. I took a seat behind the drum set and Eli pulled chair behind me, he was close; his chest was almost pressed against my back. I grabbed the drumsticks in my hands, and Eli said, "I haven't taught anybody before, so um, just try something, and I'll watch."

"From behind me?" I asked, not realizing how wrong that sounded; my cheeks turned red. Eli moved closer to me, pressing his chest against my back. I shuddered; chills ran up and down my spine. Eli grabbed my hands in his and "helped" me play. I started laughing saying, "Okay we can stop." He laughed as well and I turned to place the drumsticks on the floor. I got up and turned around, facing Eli. He stood up as well and looked down at me.

I swallowed hard, and licked my lips. Eli reached up and cupped my cheek. I smiled faintly and watched his eyes move from mine, to my lips. It was if the scene outside of the hospital was playing out again. I felt the desperate urge to kiss him, even if I didn't have the slightest idea what to do. My eyes slowly drifted from his gorgeous green orbs, to his lips, mimicking what he had done to me.

Without words, I was trying to tell him to kiss me, I sincerely wanted him to. I wanted to know what his lips felt like against mine, and I'm sure he wanted to know as well what mine felt like against his. Eli's hand never left my cheek, and he leaned down, and placed a kiss on my forehead. His lips moved to my eyelids, when I closed them, then to my cheek bones; he kissed each one. I suddenly forgot how to breathe as his lips grazed my face, kissing here and there, slowly making his way to my lips - they were so soft.

Eli whispered, "Clare, I want to kiss you so badly."

His lips were grazing mine. I swallowed hard and couldn't help the uncontrollable whimper that sounded in my throat. I was breathing heavily. If it were possible, I probably would've fallen in front of him. He was making it hard for me to breath, to stand up right. As if Eli was reading my thoughts, he had pulled me to him, and my back somehow ended up against the wall.

I looked up at him, chewing on my bottom lip. Eli's body was close to mine; he wasn't squishing me against the wall, but it was close, I could feel his stomach against mine. My heart was beating abnormally behind my ribcage and I let out a shaky breath. _Just kiss me…_ I'm practically begging for it. Eli leaned down, slowly, and carefully closing the gap between us His lips were now over mine; even if I was wanting it, my eyes were open from the shock, and I was staring at his closed ones. I smiled mentally and closed my eyes as well.

Eli softly grabbed my waist, and his lips moved slowly against mine, I blushed when I felt his tongue grazing my lips in doing so. Since I was inexperienced with this type of kiss, I only did what I thought was the right thing to do, I opened my mouth. A small moan formed in my throat when his tongue moved into my mouth. I reached up, placing one of my hands on his strong shoulders, while the other found their way into his dark hair. I kept a mental note that Eli has stitches on the back of his head, but he didn't seem to make any noise that I had hurt him, so I kept my hand there. Unintentionally, I tugged gently at his hair as his tongue moved in my mouth.

This caused Eli to moan softly. I figured he liked it (I liked the way it sounded as well), so while his tongue coaxed mine to move against his – which I soon caught on how to kiss him the way he was kissing me – I tugged on his hair again, clenching the silk strands between my fingers. Eli moaned again, and he moved his arms around my waist, pulling me closer to him, my arms linked around his neck.

Eli's kiss had changed from soft and passionate, to quick and slightly desperate. He reached up and tucked my hair behind my ear, before clenching it softly in his hand. I whimpered and tilted my head to the side. Our tongues moved in a sensual dance, grazing each other's. Eli pulled away for a brief moment; our lips were parted and we were breathing in each other's breaths. He crushed his lips over mine again, and I decided to take control. My tongue slowly pushed passed my lips and his, and snaked into his warm mouth.

I was again rewarded with one of his moans. Before the kiss could continue, Eli had pulled away, he was breathing heavily, and his forehead was glued to mine. I swallowed hard, my lips were buzzing, and numb from the aftermath of the most amazing kiss that I had ever had, and he whispered, "We have to stop."

"Why?" I asked, confused.

"Because, even though I haven't known you for a long time Clare, if we continue kissing like this, I might lose control… I don't want to do that with you." Eli responded. I smiled softly and nodded my response. Eli pulled away and I stated, "We should go ahead and go to my place, I'm kind of hungry, and well we can order a pizza and continue the movie while we wait." Eli nodded and he took my hand in his. I smiled and he led me out of his house, after grabbing the movie, and we both walked over to mine.

I walked ahead of him so I could open the front door.

"Welcome to my humble abode." I said sarcastically.

Eli followed me inside and he glanced around, looking at my living room. He shrugged nonchalantly saying, "I've seen better." I rolled my eyes and playfully punched his arm. He hissed, like it hurt and I realized that it must have been injured when his father threw him against the wall.

"I'm so sorry!" I shrieked.

"It's okay."

"Clare is that you?"

I groaned, and looked over at my mother who was in the kitchen, her head peeking out. I smiled faintly at her and she said, "Oh, Eli is here too?" I nodded, hoping she didn't forget. From my peripherals, I saw Eli wave nervously at my mom. She waved back. I turned to him and said, "Um, I'll put the DVD in, you can sit take a seat." Eli nodded and trailed behind me as I walked towards the T.V. After popping the DVD in, and changing the T.V. setting, I walked over to where Eli sat, and took a seat next to him.

"Do you want the pizza now, or later?" I asked.

"Um, later I guess, like an hour or so." Eli responded. I nodded and grabbed the remote, going to the chapter page, trying to remember where we had left off. Eli snatched the remote from me and I tried to look at him in a mad way, but I couldn't, he only gave me a look that caused me to laugh. He chose the correct scene, and the movie started to play.

I folded my legs up on the couch, and I hesitantly leaned into him. Eli seemed to noticed, and he lifted his arm. I smiled and leaned into him, his arm wrapped around my shoulder, keeping me close to him. I smiled and lay my head on his shoulder.

For someone who was really broken, Eli still managed to stay so gentle to me. I liked that about him, well… there's a lot of stuff that I liked about Eli. He's everything I always looked for in a guy, he was sweet, kind, gentle, gorgeous, and not to mention just like me. He understands my pain, he doesn't laugh at me when I cut, like the way KC did. I frowned and continued to watch the movie.

As the movie played, I would occasionally squeak and hide my face in Eli's shoulder, and of course, him being a guy, he laughed and told me that it's not that bad. I would playfully punch his arm in the process, making sure that it wasn't his hurt arm. A scene in the movie was quiet, and I heard Eli's stomach growl, loud. I glanced up at him and he blushed and looked down, his head hung low. I giggled and asked, "Would you like that pizza now?"

"Depends, what kind are you getting?"

"Are you a picky eater?" I asked.

"No, I just don't like pepperoni, so don't get pepperoni pizza." Eli responded.

I nodded and got up to walk to the kitchen and get the house phone. My mother was sitting at the table reading a magazine, and when she noticed me, she smiled and asked softly, "How are things between you and Eli? Are they good?" I pinned my eyebrows together, and nodded questionably. It's not like Eli and I are together, although I wouldn't mind being his girlfriend. We did kiss, so that means… no, I'm not going to jump to that conclusion, not just yet. I grabbed the house phone and the phonebook. Walking back to the living room, I sat down next to Eli and flipped through the yellow pages, searching for the local pizzeria.

"Clare! Clare Dianne Edwards where are you!" I flinched, hearing my father's voice echo upstairs, as he trailed down them.

"Daddy, I'm in the living room with Eli."

"Eli," Dad appeared in the living room, standing before Eli and me, "didn't I tell you that I didn't want any boys in this house? Especially him?" I swallowed hard and felt my throat tighten. Eli cleared his throat and said, "Maybe I better go."

"No, Eli stay… please." I begged.

"No, Eli has to go. Now. Get out of here Eli." In the process of saying this, my father and forcefully grabbed my arm and pulled to the kitchen, me screaming from the pain.

…

…

…

…

When I heard her father's voice, I started to panic. He was a really uptight man, so when he showed up in front of us after screaming Clare's name. I felt as if I was going to piss myself. He was such an intimidating man, and aside from many other things that scare me, he was one of those people who did. I listened to them argue back and forth, and just when I was about to get up and leave, Clare placed her hand over my leg and begged me to stay.

Her father had grabbed her wrist moments later, and dragged her to the kitchen, Clare yelping in pain from his strong grasp.

_"Daddy, we were just watching a movie!"_

_"I don't care! Eli is a boy, and he's not allowed in this house!"_

_"Well why not? He came with us to Ontario, why does it matter if he's in this house, with you and mom both home!" _

_"Clare, it's not the same."_

_"How is it not the fucking same!"_

I flinched, hearing Clare drop the "F" bomb. I hadn't heard her cuss before, and frankly she was kind of scary right now.

_"Don't you dare use that tone of voice with me!"_

My head snapped towards the kitchen when I heard the most horrible sound ever. Clare walked out of the kitchen, holding her cheek and I got up, walked around the couch, and grasped her shoulders, stopping her from moving any further. I refused to let her disappear upstairs, or wherever she was walking to, and leave me here alone. Clare looked up at me, the right side of her face was red, and when I reached up to cup her cheek, I could feel the heat radiating off of her once pale skin.

Her father came storming out of the kitchen, and I pinned my eyebrows together when he stomped his way to me and Clare, not stopping.

The worst possible thing happened before me, something that I couldn't do to stop because I was too shocked to even do anything. Her father had swiftly grabbed her shoulder, and spun her around. In a matter of seconds, his hand came crashing towards the other side of her face. I ended up not thinking before my actions. I softly pushed Clare to the side, and screamed, "What the fuck is your problem!"

"Eli, no don't." I heard Clare whimper.

"What is my problem? What is your problem, what right do you think you have to yell at someone when it's not even your house?" He asked med.

"And you think you have the right to hit Clare, especially in front of a guest?" I asked, trying to calm down, my tone was clearly poisoned with anger. Clare was crying next to me, whimpering and whispering for me to stop. But, I ignored her, she got hurt right in front of me by her dad, I wasn't leaving without a fight. I wasn't going to leave this spot, until I somehow fulfilled knocking some sense into this asshole.

"I can do whatever I want, it's my house and if Clare deserves it, she's going to get hit." He retorted, not a hint of remorse in his words.

"So you think hitting girls is okay!" I shrieked, not believing what I was hearing. I know I mentioned that I have hit my mother, but that's a different situation, she knows I lose control if she continues pushing me to the limit, it was an accident, all those times were accidents, and she knows that. Clare reached touched my shoulder and she whispered, "Eli just go, please I don't want anything to happen." I pushed her lightly to the side again, and gave her a look. She licked her bottom lip and looked down at the floor. It was right about now where I was wondering where the fuck Clare's mom was.

"Some girls, need to get hit."

"Yeah, well… some guys need to get hit back." Again, I was not thinking, and my fist came up and punched his cheek. Clare squeaked and covered her mouth with her hands; her mother (as if on cue) ran out of the kitchen and she switched glances between me, Clare, and her husband. I watched her father reach up and rub his cheek. I was glared at him and said, "Maybe this will teach you a lesson, if you hurt Clare again, I swear on my grandfather's grave, you will suffer." I turned around and walked out the front door, not realizing that Clare was trailing behind me like a small puppy.

"Eli!"

I turned around and nearly fell back when Clare jumped and wrapped her arms around my neck. My arms linked around her waist and I pulled her closer to me.

"Eli, y-you can't do that to my dad." Clare whimpered.

"But thank you." She added.

I pulled her away and cupped her cheek. Clare looked up at me, and I smiled faintly. The stars were shining in her eyes and I couldn't help but think her blue eyes looked more desirable. I leaned in to kiss her. That last kiss left me breathless, and I wanted to feel that same sensation again. Before I could do anything, a car had pulled up in the driveway. Clare and I pulled apart, and I heard her sister's voice.

"Clare, what are you doing out here with Mr. Eli?" She laughed a little and I smiled faintly. Darcy stood next to us and she asked, "What happened to your face?" I didn't know how she could see that her cheeks were red in the dark, well there is a light on the corner of Clare's house, shining on the driveway. Clare looked away and I wrapped my arm around her shoulder, bringing her towards me.

"Your father decided to create a scene and hit Clare in front of her guest." I answered.

Darcy's mouth fell open, her jaw hit the ground. She said, "He did not." I nodded and Darcy looked over at Clare, who nodded, her head lay on my shoulder, her face was at the crook of my neck. I smiled a little, loving the feeling of being this close to Clare. Darcy frowned and said, "I'm sorry to hear, well I have to get inside, I have some things to do." Clare and I watched Darcy leave and disappear in the house, the front door shutting in the process.

Clare pulled away and looked up at me. She smiled faintly and reached up to touch my face. I swooped down and kissed her. She gasped and I took that chance to thrust my tongue into her mouth. My arms wrapped around her waist and brought her closer to me. Clare placed her hands on my shoulders and soon started to kiss me back. Our tongues intertwined, and I reached up and cupped the nape of her neck. Clare moaned, and I felt her throat vibrate against my hand.

I pulled back before sucking on her bottom lip, pressing our foreheads together.

"Clare, I'm sorry about your dad, I lost control… I don't like seeing you hurt." I whispered against her lips.

"I-I know Eli, and I'm thankful that you care so much about me."

"Do you… feel the same way?" I tried not to sound so desperate, but I wanted to know.

"Eli – of course I care about you, I like you a lot." Clare responded. I smiled against her lips, and she smiled too.

"I like you too Clare, a lot, so much it scares me."

"Why?" She asked, her hands reaching up to brush my hair away from my face. I didn't want to tell her, not just yet. I couldn't lose her because of a stupid fear I have. I only clenched her hips and she said, "You don't have to tell me, now at least… you can talk to me whenever you want okay Eli?" I nodded and said, "I have to go, I'll call you later." I looked into her eyes and she nodded.

"Okay." I muttered. Clare leaned up and kissed my lips chastely before she ran into the house. I turned around and walked across the road, heading into my house. That's when I realized that I had left my movie at Clare's house. I leaned against the front door, pondering if I should go back over there and retrieve my movie, but I figured Clare would probably call me later and tell me that I had left it over there, besides, she hasn't seen it so I might as well let her finish it.

I reached up and touched my lips, smiling at the fact that I had finally gotten to kiss the girl that I've been dying to kiss since the moment I saw her.

Soon enough, I'll make her my girlfriend…

End of Chapter 15

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This fear Eli has, don't ask me what it is, for you guys will be finding out later what it is. It's kind of obvious, but yeah. I know I told a few of you that Darcy would've been showing up when Clare's dad was hitting her, but I decided not to. Oh, and just to be answering a few questions that have been begging to be answered, in the next chapter, you will be finding out more about Darcy. I didn't want you guys to find out right at the moment about her, so now is the perfect time. Oh, and okay some of you have PM'd me and asked what happens after the summer ends, well school comes in right?

So, to put it bluntly, yes there will be a sequel following the summer, what happens between Eli and Clare, ect. ect. So, anyways, how about those reviews? Leave me some? Did you guys like the kiss? I know I did! :)


	16. i'm unashamed, i'm gonna show my scar

Disclaimer: Degrassi is something I don't own, sadly… I do own Eli's five year old cousin though, Maureen.

A/N: Thanks for the reviews! I got so excited because I got (insert name here) to review one of my stories, so woot! I got excited :) I'm not going to name names, because I don't want to call them out like that, haha I will only do that when I'm giving shout outs to someone, anyway, again, thanks for the reviews! I loved reading all of them! So, here you are chapter 16; you will be learning about Darcy in this chapter!

Oh, and I would like to thank IntensityUnknown for leaving the most amazing review. I'm glad that I had inspired you to write, and I hope that later on, I'd be reading some of your works! :)

Warnings: sexual harassment

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Alibis

Summary: Waiting for change to lead him down a more innocent path, death obsessed Elijah Goldsworthy finds it in a blue eyed beauty, but perhaps with an even darker past than his own.

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CHAPTER 16

"Dude, you finally kissed her?" Adam asked as he sat on my bed, after placing his bag at the corner of my room. I nodded, and tried to lighten the biggest goofy grin that I had on my face. Adam smiled and he reached over and pats my shoulder saying, "I'm proud of you Eli, even if you did beat Clare's dad up." We both laughed.

"I only punched him…"

"And you still won't tell me why?" Adam asked. I shook my head and frowned a little. I couldn't tell him about Clare's life, well…

"Did he hit her in front of you?"

I glanced up at him and cleared my throat nervously. He mouthed an "oh". I know I can trust Adam, that he wouldn't go around spilling the fact that Clare's dad is abusive. I think it's because he suspected it too? I wasn't sure. He said, "Um, so I brought some extra money with me, do you want to order a pizza, since you didn't get to eat anything at Clare's place?" I nodded and Adam muttered "booyah" and hopped off my bed, running to the kitchen. I too got up from my bed, and walked to my window, peaking through the blinds.

Across the yard and into the window of Clare's room, I noticed that she was talking on the phone with someone, and she was smiling and laughing and spinning around. I smiled a little; she was probably telling whoever she was talking to about me, or what happened between me and her. I would to, I mean I told Adam that I kissed her, and that kiss was damn amazing. Just thinking about it makes me blush. Adam cleared his throat and I turned away from the window.

"Um, I know you don't like pepperoni, so what kind of pizza do you want?"

"The same one we always get." I responded.

Adam nodded and he dialed the local pizzeria number. I sat on my bed and watched Adam pace the room as he waited for someone to pick up. I grabbed my laptop and placed it in my lap while I signed into my FaceRange account. My lips curled up to a smile when I read Clare's recent post.

**_Clare Edwards – So happy! :)_**

I glanced up at Adam, who was already placing the order to our pizza, and then back down at Clare's status. I clicked on the bar, and began to type a comment to it. I licked my bottom lip and posted it, waiting for it to show up under Clare's status.

**_Eli Goldsworthy – Clare Edwards; why are you so happy? :)_**

Adam closed his phone saying, "We have to pay twenty two dollars even for our meal. Can you believe that?" I arched my eyebrow. Twenty two dollars even, sounds like a whole lot. Rolling my eyes, I got up from my bed after placing my laptop beside me. Adam said, "Where are you going?" I turned back around and stood in the doorway.

"I'm getting something to drink."

"Drink? Eli get me a beer won't you?" Adam smirked. Sighing heavily and rolling my eyes, I smirked and walked out of my room and headed into the kitchen. I opened the fridge and grabbed two bottles of beer. Since my mom was out at the hospital with my dad – which he was probably not going to come back in a couple of days. This isn't the first time I would be home alone like this, in this situation. My father got into a wreck last year and my mom would only come back to check on me and then leave five minutes after she got home.

I walked into my room and tossed Adam the bottle, which he quickly twist the cap off and chugged the liquid down, holding the bottle at the neck.

I did the same, but only took a sip. I wasn't a real big fan of beer, but this is what Adam and I would normally do when my parents aren't home, order pizza and drink beers until we're drunk off our asses. He patted the empty spot on the bed and said, "I have some information to share with you." While taking another sip, I walked to my bed and sat next to Adam.

"Look, I kind of spilled the beans about your liking someone to Fiona; she set up a double date for this Friday." Adam said. I blinked a few times and cleared my throat. A double date, Fiona and Adam and me and Clare; I don't mind the idea, but… I don't think it would be such a good idea.

"Adam, I don't know… I mean I don't want Clare to feel uncomfortable." I said finally after pondering my decision.

"Why not? Why would she get uncomfortable, she'll be making more friends." He asked, taking a sip of his beer.

"I just, I don't know—

"Dude, you always over analyze the situation. Clare is going to enjoy the date, I promise you that. And, I promise you that I won't embarrass you again." Adam placed a hand over my shoulder and I nodded and smiled softly. A date this Friday with Clare, Adam, and Fiona, I guess it won't be that bad. I was going to ask Clare anyway if she wanted to go on a date with me, so maybe it'll be okay.

"Just so you know, if Fiona starts shit with me, I'm not going to be nice about it." I said. Adam rolled his eyes. He took a sip of his beer saying, "I know Eli, god you and Fiona always end up fighting like my family at family dinners." I laughed a little and sighed lightly.

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…

…

"Clare?"

I looked up from my notebook, and smiled faintly as my mom walked into my room. She pulled my notebook and set aside as she sat down in front of me on my bed. I was looking down at my ankles, my legs folded Indian style. I had just finished talking on the phone with Alli, telling her about Eli and the kiss we had, both kisses we had. Oh, and when he punched my dad, I added that in there too.

"Clare…"

"Huh?" I asked, looking up through my lashes. My mom reached up and she placed a hand over mine, only I pulled it back and sat upright, so I could look into her eyes. I was upset with her. She didn't believe me when I tried to tell her that my own father rapes me… she believed the man that hurts his own daughter in the worse possible way, over the girl who's experiencing the pain. Mom said, "Honey, it's time we talk."

"Talk about what?" I questioned, chewing gently on my lower lip. She sighed heavily, "Clare, your father doesn't rape you. You're ill, you're just imaging it. I called your psychiatrist and he said you will be imagining stuff like that after post suicide attempt and because of the pills that you should be taking. If you're not taking your pills, you will have hallucinations like that; it's only a dream Clare. If you start experiencing those dreams again, you have to talk to us."

"Mom, you're seriously going to sit there and tell me that I'm imagining it?" I tried not to scream, but it was hard. I clenched my fists instead.

"Clare, you need to rest, I'll talk to you tomorrow. Dr. Sanders is coming in tomorrow to check in on you. I already gave him directions to the house."

I lowered my head and watched my mother leave at the corner of my eye.

Just after she shut the door, I had tears streaming down my face. My nails began clawing at my legs, and I got up from my bed and began searching through the pockets of my jeans, looking for the razor I had when I walked over to Eli's house. Where is it… Where is it? I hissed, feeling my finger being pricked by the corner of the blade. I pulled it out, placed the razor against my already cut and scarred wrist, and turned so I was facing the window, and I frowned.

From across the yard, I could see the light in Eli's room was on, Adam was there and he looked so happy. I looked down at my wrist and licked my bottom lip, and tossed the razor across my room. I held my head in my hands and groaned. I couldn't do this to Eli… I was so upset and I knew that if I cut I would cut so deep that I would probably end up in the hospital.

I walked out of my room and peaked down the hall, noticing that the lights were off. Turning the light off in my room, I walked down the dark hallway and stopped in front of Darcy's room. She was the only person I could turn to at this moment, so talking to her might relieve the great weight on my shoulders. I gently tapped the door a few times, and smiled a little when I heard some rustling on the other side of it.

Moments later, Darcy opened the door and she blinked a few times, before inviting me in. I walked straight to her bed and sat down on it. She shut the door and sat down in front of me, placing a hand on my knee, she asked, "Clare is something wrong?"

I just blurted it out. I couldn't help it.

"Darcy if I told you that daddy rapes me… would you believe me?" I looked up through my lashes and she held a shocked look on her face, like the one mom had but Darcy's held a little more concern. She asked, "Are you sure? Clare did you tell anyone else? How could – Daddy would never do that Clare—

"You don't believe me…" I whispered.

"Clare, I'm just shocked, I didn't say I didn't believe you. Who else have you told?" Darcy asked, scooting closer to me.

"I told mom, but she… took dad's side when he said I'm just imagining it, that I'm sick and ill and that my anxiety pills will cause me illusions of I don't take them like I'm supposed to." I explained. Darcy chewed on her lip and she said, "Look, I know this is bad, but we can't tell anyone… not yet—

"Why not? We can tell the cops or—

"Clare it's too soon."

"Soon? Darcy daddy has been raping me since I was ten years old, you and mom are the only people I've told and neither of you believe me… I'm just going to leave now." I got up from the bed and started to walk to the door, but I stopped when she called my name. Crossing my arms, I turned to look at her and she got up and snapped, "Clare I didn't say I didn't believe you! I'm just – you always have to bring up some excuse for attention! Okay, I admit it, I don't believe you! You're always getting the attention! Ever since you decided to attempt suicide, daddy and mom have always given you all the attention since you showed up! You're such an attention whore Clare! What do I have to do to win their attention too? Should I cut myself like you do? Should I just—

I couldn't take it much longer; I had bolted out of Darcy's room, and ran down the stairs. The only place I thought would be safest to talk, was Eli's. Just when I was about to run out the front door, I was stopped by someone grabbing my arm.

"What—

"Where do you think you're going?"

"D-daddy!" I shrieked.

He crushed my body up against the door, and held my wrists back. I whimpered and he covered my mouth with his free hand. I could feel his breath against my ear and he whispered menacingly, "You think you're going to get away for that little stunt you pulled earlier with that snot nosed boyfriend of yours?" My response was muffled due to the fact that his hand was covering my mouth.

I squeezed my eyes shut and he flipped me around, keeping my mouth covered. Dad whispered, "I'm not going to do anything to you Clare-bear, because I know you're going to tell your beloved mother, oh wait, she doesn't even believe you, such a pity." I whimpered and tried to scream for help but ended up crying as his free hand moved from my shoulder down my breast and lower. I struggled but he clenched my face in his hand, hurting my jaw and cheekbones.

Dad's hand ventured into my shorts and I sobbed behind his hand, the tears fell down my face and I clenched my jaw feeling his fingers ghost over my most sensitive spot. He was snickering softly, making chills run up and down my spine, and not the good kind either.

I cried as his fingers moved inside me. Because I didn't want this, it hurt me, really bad. I fought and struggled, only to have him wrap his arm around my throat and clench it in a tight grip. I gasped and squirmed, whimpered.

"D-daddy stop! S-stop it, I—I can't breathe." I managed to say. He snorted and pulled away from me, causing me to fall and slouch against the door as I tried to regain my breathing to an even state. He disappeared and I cried silently, asking myself what it was that I did to deserve this.

…

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…

…

"Eli, there's someone at your door." Adam said, his eyes never tearing away from the T.V. screen as he played one of my video games. I muttered, "Might be the pizza." I got up from the bed and walked down the hall after grabbing my wallet. I tried my hardest not to laugh when I heard Adam scream profanity in my room. I guessed right about the pizza. After I gave him the money he handed me the pizza boxes and I smiled my thanks and shut the door.

"Adam! The pizza is here, and I'm not eating in my room again!" I shouted before he could say anything. He bolted out of the room and jumped on the couch. He flipped the lid open and we both sighed, having the scent of melted cheese fill our nose. Adam snatched the piece I was going to get and I frowned and stared at him. He stuck his tongue out and I rolled my eyes in response. I grabbed a slice and turned the T.V. on.

Adam and I ate in silence and I grimaced when I took a bite of my pizza.

"Dude if you're not going to eat it, give it to me." Adam said with his mouth half full.

"Chew with your mouth closed please." I responded.

He rolled his eyes and continued to eat his slice. I wanted to finish mine, but I could taste so much grease on my pizza. The only thing I could do was pat it out with a napkin. I took a bite and smiled a little, tasting only the cheese and sauce. Adam asked, "So, when are you going to ask Clare to be your girlfriend?" I blushed lightly and looked over at him from the corner of my eye. I hadn't actually thought about it. I wanted to wait at least a week before I asked her.

"I'm scared to." I whispered.

"Scared of what Eli?" Adam asked; placing his half eaten, second pizza, down on the box. I did the same and cleared my throat.

"What if she likes me but not enough to be my girlfriend? I'm just scared that I'll mess it up; I'm afraid she'll find out about Jenna and get the wrong side of the story. I like her so much Adam and it scares me. Maybe I'm just imaging it; maybe she doesn't really like me…" I muttered. Adam growled and responded, "Dude, Clare likes you, she likes you so much and you know it. You can't let a fear you have because of past relationships scare you. I know it's hard Eli, don't get me wrong. But, Clare is good for you, I can tell." I nodded and sighed shakily. Adam and I both reached forward and we finished eating.

As we continued to eat in silence, the front door opened and my mother stumbled in.

"Oh, Adam, it's nice to see you here." She said.

"How are you doing, Eli? You didn't tell me that you got let out earlier." Mom walked up to me and she pat my head lightly.

"I'm fine, what are you doing here?"

"I just came by to get some stuff, extra clothes for your father and me, and some food. You don't mind if I snag some pizza do you?" I shrugged my shoulder and my mom smiled. She kissed the top of my head and disappeared towards the back of the house. Adam leaned into me, "Dude, your mom is really weird." I pinned my eyebrows together and rolled my eyes. Moments later, my mom had walked out of her room holding a bag in hand. She walked into the kitchen and grabbed one of those Glad containers and stole two slices of pizza.

"I'll see you tomorrow Eli." She said after patting my head. Mom walked to the door and Adam and I were soon alone yet again.

"Now what?" I muttered.

"We can always invite some girls over." Adam winked a couple of times and I tossed my pizza crust at him. He took it and took an over exaggerated bite out of it. I laughed and said, "No, Clare is probably sleeping." Adam blinked a few times. He turned around and looked at the clock in the kitchen, "It's a little after eleven dude, and it's the summer, I highly doubt she's sleeping." I sighed and added, "Her parents are sleeping and I don't think she would want to sneak out and come over here to spend time with you and me. Adam placed a hand on my shoulder.

"Who says it'll only be her, you and me?"

"Adam, we're double dating Friday, why do we need Fiona to come over now?"

I didn't like the idea of Fiona coming to my house. She came over once with Adam and was bragging how her house was bigger, her house was this and that. I almost hit her, that's how aggravated I was. Fiona is such a snot nosed person, her and her twin, Declan. I can deal with him. He's okay, but Fiona… God, I don't understand how Adam can deal with her. She probably just acts different with him alone. I shrugged it off and reached to grab a slice of pizza, patting it dry with a napkin.

The sound of knocking was heard and Adam laughed, "I think your mom forgot something." He got up from the couch and walked to the front door. Adam opened the door and I frowned when he said, "Eli, it's Clare, she um—

"Let her in!" I almost shouted.

Clare heard me and she walked in, holding herself. I pinned my eyebrows together as she walked over to me, her head hung low. Clare took a seat on the couch next to me and she whimpered when I touched her shoulder. I scooted closer to her and wrapped my arm around her shoulder; she stiffened and began shaking uncontrollably. Clare whispered something under her breath, something that I didn't quite catch. Clare pushed me away and buried her face in her hands and started to cry heavily.

"Dude what's wrong with her?" Adam asked.

"Adam just, shut up." Was my response, I whispered, "Clare, what's wrong, look at me please." I reached under her hands and turned her face to me. She refused to look at me though. Clare's hair fell over her eyes, and when I brushed the curls back and would turn her gaze elsewhere. I frowned and removed my arm from her shoulder and pulled my hand away. Clare whispered, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm – I'm sorry." I pinned my eyebrows together and Adam sat down on the opposite side of me. He leaned in asking, "Why is she apologizing?" I shrugged my shoulders. I reached out to touch Clare's shoulder and she freaked out, and moved away from me, cornering her body on the couch. Clare brought her legs up to her chest and buried her head in her knees. Adam said, "Maybe I should leave you two alone, I'll be in your room."

I nodded and Clare had looked up at me through her bangs. I moved closer to her, cautiously and asked, "Clare, what's wrong?" She whimpered and responded, "I'm sorry."

"What are you sorry for? You didn't do anything."

"N-no I did, I'm just – I screwed up, I cut myself again…"

"How deep?" I frowned. Clare moved her legs down to the floor and she lifted her shirt, I blushed and turned away. Clare reached over and she grabbed my hand, placing it over her stomach. She whispered, "Look at me." I turned my gaze to her and looked down at her stomach, there was a long cut going across her stomach and her navel. I frowned and she pushed my hand away and dropped her dark shirt over her skin. I swallowed hard and looked at my hand, which was slightly coated with her blood.

"Clare, why did you—

"Daddy he—he hit me." Clare said. She added, "I was just… I was in the kitchen getting something to eat and he hit me… he hit my stomach, he punched me… Eli was so scared, I couldn't breathe." Clare began crying again and I slowly wrapped my arm around her shoulder, and she responded by leaning into me. Her arms were already linked around my waist and I could feel the sleeve of my shirt being slightly soaked from her tears; she was crying really hard.

I rubbed her back and said, "Clare it's okay, it's okay I'm not mad." She pulled away to look up at me. The look in her glassy eyes broke my heart. I reached up and cupped her face, and leaned down to kiss her tears away, Clare flinched each time I pressed my lips on her cheek, but she soon relaxed. I pressed my forehead against hers and she whispered, "Eli I have to go, my dad will kill me if he sees that I'm not home."

I nodded and tried not to look so upset that she had to leave five minutes after walking through my front door crying heavily. Clare got up and I walked her to it. She turned to look at me and I smiled faintly at her, she responded by stepping up to me and pressing her lips at the corner of my mouth. A sheepish smile formed on my face and Clare tucked her hair behind her ear. I watched her turn around and leave, walking slowly across the lawn.

I closed the front door and headed to my room where I found Adam already changed in his clothes and using my laptop.

"Is she okay?" Adam asked, not looking away from the computer screen.

"Yeah, she's fine." I responded while I grabbed some sleep clothes and walked to the bathroom.

"Come on Eli, it's not the first time I'll be seeing you in your boxers." Adam said. I sighed and muttered incoherent words. I removed my shirt and tossed it to the side, and then kicked my shoes off before I unbuttoned and unzipped my pants and took those off. I was now standing in my boxers and before I could pull my t-shirt and pants on, Adam said, "I think you should just sleep in that, you do end up kicking the covers off at night.

I blinked a few times and looked down at my pants.

"I think I'll just put my pants on then."

Adam shrugged and I pulled the plaid pajama pants on and walked to the other side of my bed and crawled under the sheets. I watched him surf the web on my laptop and he said, "So, did you ask Clare about Friday?" I looked up and muttered, "Shit, no I'll ask her tomorrow." Adam nodded and said, "I'll send her a message about it later." I blinked a few times and nodded while chewing on my bottom lip. Adam had started to sign into his FaceRange account and I watched him send Clare a message.

"I think I'm going to ask Clare next week."

"Ask her what?"

"To be my girlfriend… I think. Do you think it's too soon? I've only known her for a few weeks."

"Eli, asking someone to be theirs means you want to know more about them. You know enough about Clare, so it's just skipping a step really." Adam said.

I nodded and yawned saying, "We left the pizza in the living room."

"Okay?"

"It might be a good idea to close it." I said.

"It'll be fine Eli, just get some rest, I know you're tired, since that trip to the hospital and all." Adam pat my head and I nodded and buried my head in my pillow. He reached over and turned the lamp off, leaving the only light of the laptop on. Adam made a popping sound with his lips and I growled, "Adam stop making that noise, please." He stopped, but only for a few seconds, and continued. I slapped his arm, "Adam quit it!"

He placed the laptop down on the nightstand and moved so he was crushing my body with his. I glanced up at him and he asked, "Or what?" I blinked a few times and cleared my throat asking, "Adam would you get off me, please." He smirked and slowly rolled over, moving away from me. I cleared my throat and turned so I was facing the opposite direction. Adam scooted closer to me and whispered, "Dude I'm just messing with you. You do know I'm straight."

"Sometimes I wonder." I responded lowly.

Adam's arm draped around my waist and said, "I know Eli, but I'm not gay, you know that."

"Then why do you hold me like this?" I asked as I moved his arm from my waist. He only laughed and moved away from me. We remained quiet for a few minutes and I turned to lie on my back, Adam did the same. He sighed heavily and stated, "It's cause I care about you Eli, I love you, you're like my brother man, and if I have to show it this way then I'm going to." I sighed my response. Adam just doesn't get it. I love him too, but that doesn't mean he has to treat me like I'm his girlfriend or something. I don't have anything against gay people, it's just Adam makes me uncomfortable when he does that. Maybe he's confused…

"Adam, um, you don't have to show me that way, I know you love me, and I love you too, but you don't seem me all over you like you are with me."

"I know, I just like to show my love in a different way, if you don't like it, I understand…"

I could hear the emotion changing in his tone of voice, which made me feel a little guilty.

"I don't mind it, but tone it down a bit." I tried to reason with him.

"Fine." He muttered and turned so he was facing away from me. I frowned and turned on my side, so our backs were facing each other.

"Goodnight." I muttered.

"Night, Eli…" He responded.

I smiled a little and sighed softly both in relief that Adam wasn't mad at me.

End of Chapter 16

* * *

So, are you slowly understanding as to why Darcy is the way she is? Most of you are guessing right, HeatherPoulette, you're guessing along the right road, if that makes sense. I tried to add enough so you could understand, but not too much because the bigger scene about Darcy is going to erupt later. The next chapter, you're going to see Adam's true side towards Eli, so be prepared. It's not going to be very pretty, just a warning. Anyways, I wasn't too fond on how this chapter came out, because of two reasons:

1. My best friend was having some problems, which caused me to go through an emotional break down, again.

2. I was being rushed and I was being distracted by many things.

I hope you guys are too disappointed about this chapter :/ I was. So, anyway, reviews will be nice!

Goodbye for now!


	17. collide

Disclaimer: Degrassi is something I don't own, sadly… I do own Eli's five year old cousin though, Maureen.

A/N: Woo! Over five hundred reviews, that's so amazing! I'm like so excited! You guys are in for something big in this chapter! Those of you who read my teaser on twitter, heh heh, then you know what's going to happen. I hope you guys don't turn away from this story after reading this chapter! It's going to be the biggest mix up ever! I'm such a bitch, I know, but hey you stuck with me after the killings of two animals, the abuse of both Eli and Clare's parents, and the rape of Clare's father. So, maybe this won't you know… ugh, I'll shut up now.

Warnings: graphic sexual harassment and just to warn you, it's not Clare and her father; but don't worry, it gets fluffy later.

* * *

Alibis

Summary: Waiting for change to lead him down a more innocent path, death obsessed Elijah Goldsworthy finds it in a blue eyed beauty, but perhaps with an even darker past than his own.

* * *

CHAPTER 17

I was half asleep when I felt someone's hand tracing slowly up and down my spine. I moved just slightly, but soon relaxed because the feeling felt good. The touch was gentle, and slowly it started to move down towards the hem of my pants, and it snaked up and the palm of their hand was pressed against my back. I slowly opened my eyes and moved to my back.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you." I hear Adam say. I murmured something under my breath and yawned, before closing my eyes again. I was really tired so falling asleep wasn't going to be a problem for me. Adam's hand was moving up and down my stomach, along the small line of hair that disappeared behind the band of my boxers and pants. I shifted lightly feeling Adam's hand move up and down my stomach, his thumb would occasionally move behind the waist band of my pants and I slowly opened my eyes. While yawning obnoxiously, I asked groggily, "Adam, what are you doing?"

"Nothing." He whispered, moving closer to me. I could feel his breath tickling the skin on my neck and his arm was soon draped over my waist, and he pulled me closer to him. Adam's head was practically at the crook of my neck, and my eyes grew wide when I felt him press his lips against it.

"Adam, dude… what the hell are you – what are you doing?"

He ignored me and his hand moved to my hip and he started to open mouth kiss my neck, his teeth occasionally pulled on the skin. I tried my hardest not to enjoy this, because Adam knew that my neck is my weak spot. I moved around anxiously and tried pushing Adam away begging for him to stop, but he climbed on top of me and straddled me, pinning my wrists on either side of my head. Since my eyes were adjusted to the dark, I could see that Adam's head was hung low.

"Adam, what are you doing? Let me go." I said.

"Eli, just let me."

Just let me? I didn't understand what he meant by that, but before I could protest, Adam leaned down and pressed his lips against my neck yet again, and I swallowed hard. Adam tongue slowly traced the middle of my throat and he stopped, tilted his head to the side and bit down on my flesh, causing me to let the loudest uncontrolled moan from my lips.

"A-Adam I like Clare, stop – this isn't right." I exclaimed.

Adam didn't say anything, only continued his assault on my neck. My breathing was uneven, and another uncontrollable moan formed in my throat when his teeth sunk into my flesh, hard. Adam smirked against my marred flesh, and moved his lips to my ear, whispering, "I can feel that you're enjoying this Eli, just image what Clare would think if she saw you this way."

"W-what way?" I stammered.

"Well," Adam started, he kept a firm grip on my wrists and continued, "you're getting turned on by my ministrations, I can feel it." I shifted and squirmed beneath him, begging him to stop. Adam snorted and held my wrists with one hand while his free hand moved down my skinny body and settled on my hip. Adam trailed his lips down and stopped at the waistband of my pants. I whimpered, "No – No Adam don't!" His head snapped up and he again ignored me, and moved back up to lie next to me.

I struggled and started to pull at my wrists, hissing when I felt him tighten his hold. The cut I had on my wrist started to hurt, like a bruise when someone poked it really hard. I whimpered and begged, "Adam don't please, please don't do this." His hand moved inside my pants and grinned.

"See, you're liking this Eli, don't fight it."

"No I'm not." I protested.

"Liar, the obvious problem in your pants is clearly proving you wrong." Adam said as he squeezed my cock, painfully hard.

"Adam stop it!" I shouted.

Adam's grip on my wrists tightened, but the one on my lower region didn't. I felt the tears stinging at the corners of my eyes, but I refused to let them fall. I began to squirm around as he started to stroke my erection under my pants and boxers, which was probably uncomfortable for him, so he might stop. It didn't surprise me when he didn't, only pulled my pants and boxers down to my thighs. Adam snickered and he whispered, "Well would you look at that, Eli you like this. Do you like it when people torment you like this?"

I shook my head and clenched my jaw.

Adam moved so he was sitting between my legs. He let go of my wrists and I rubbed them slightly. Adam wasn't doing anything, yet, but I had moved away from him after pulling my pants up. Adam swiftly separated my legs and lay between them. He yanked them down again and I cried out when his mouth wrapped around my cock, and he gave a long hard suck, which made my hips jerk slightly. Adam smirked and he pulled his mouth away, moving up my body. He whispered against my lips, "Eli come on, you can't sit there and tell me you don't want this."

"I don't want this, Adam." I growled.

"Then why are you so turned on?" He questioned.

"I'm. Not." I deadpanned. Adam snorted and he moved off me and sat down next to me. I instantly pulled my pants up and got up saying, "Um, you can take my bed; I'll go sleep on the couch." I grabbed my pillow and the comforter, and practically bolted out of my room and walked to the living room. I placed my pillow on the armrest of the couch, and lay down on it, covering myself with the thick comforter. I was shaking uncontrollably, wondering what exactly happened to my best friend.

My chest grew tight, and I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to steady my breathing. I could barely breathe. Flipping off the couch, I made my way to the kitchen and stopped, standing next to the counter. I suddenly felt sick to my stomach and I ended up throwing up what was in my stomach in the sink. I gagged and coughed heavily. I turned the faucet on and washed down the remains, while I reached blindly for a cup in the rack of clean dishes next to me.

I filled the cup up with water and chugged it down. Tossing the glass in the sink, I walked back to my room, just to grab my tooth brush. I stood in front of the door, and swallowed nervously. Pushing the door open slightly, I peeked inside and noticed that Adam was practically dead asleep on the bed. I walked quickly to my bathroom, grabbed my tooth brush and headed out of the room, and made my way to the guest bathroom.

It didn't take me long to start vigorously brushing my teeth, trying to get the horrible taste of stomach acid out of my mouth.

After I was done, I walked back to my bed on the couch and sighed heavily, lying on my back.

I've been awake for probably thirty minutes, and I hadn't even checked to see what time it was. I lifted my head and narrowed my eyes.

It is exactly three thirty in the morning. I couldn't help but curse at Adam mentally. Normally when I wake up around this time, I wake up extremely late. Not that I don't mind it it's just, ever since I met Clare, I've been waking up earlier than normal. Most of the time it's just to see her, or when I sometimes get texts from her, telling me good morning or something. I smiled lightly at the thought and figured I'd try and get some sleep.

…

…

The next morning had flown by quicker than I thought.

The smell of bacon, eggs, and sausage made my mouth water and my eyes slowly flickered open to the sight of my mother in the kitchen, and when I sat up, Adam was sitting at the table. He noticed me sitting up and he smiled wide.

"Morning Sunshine." He smiled.

I looked away and got up from the couch. My mom turned around holding a pan as she scooped some eggs onto the empty plate in front of her. She smiled at me and said, "Good morning, Eli." I smiled at her and sat down as far away from Adam as possible.

She switched glances between me and Adam and mouthed "okay", but didn't bother in asking what was going on. I'll probably tell her after he leaves.

"Did you sleep well? I kind of woke up confused as to why you were on the couch." Adam said as he picked up a slice of bacon and took a bite out of it. I pinned my eyebrows together and he shrugged his shoulders adding, "Dude seriously. You scared the shit out of me; I thought you went missing or something. So when I got up I about died of happiness when I saw that you were in the living room."

"Adam do you not remember what you did last night?" I asked while taking a sip of the juice that my mom had poured into the glass for me.

"What happened last night?" He asked, quirking his eyebrows up.

"Don't play dumb!" I shouted.

"Eli, it's early, can't the screaming start later." Mom said. I clenched my fists and ate in silence. Adam would glance up at me and he looked upset. I wanted to throw it in his face and tell him that he sexually assaulted me last night, and now he's going to pretend nothing happened? My mom said, "Okay I'm going back to the hospital. Your father will probably be let out tonight, we'll be back later." She kissed the top of my head and ruffled my hair, before waving goodbye to Adam and leaving the house through the front door.

"So, are you going to explain to me what happened?" Adam asked.

"Don't play dumb Adam." I repeated.

"I won't be playing dumb if I knew what the fuck you were talking about! Now tell me what the hell your problem is!" Adam shouted slamming his hands on the table as he got up.

I did the same and screamed, "Adam you forced yourself on me! You sexually harassed me! How is that for an explanation?" Adam blinked a few times and his jaw practically hit the floor. Adam stammered, "I didn't even – Eli you know I wouldn't do that to you." I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. I only told him to kindly leave my house. Adam frowned and he walked over to me, ignoring my statement.

I stumbled back and said, "Adam leave, now."

"Eli, I'm not going anywhere. God, to think you would say—

"Adam I'm not stupid! I know what happened last night, and I'm not going to make something up like that! GET OUT!" I shouted.

Adam sighed heavily and he turned around and disappeared for a few moments, and reappeared with his bag over his shoulder. I watched him leave out the front door, and I swallowed hard, reaching up to clench my hair in my hands. My attention was averted to the small window above my sink, and I frowned, realizing how dark it is outside. It was probably getting ready to rain. I had nothing better to do so; I stepped outside and sat on the front porch after grabbing my iPod and notebook. I think writing would help me calm my nerves.

While lying comfortably on the porch swing, I propped my legs up and blasted the iPod, letting the sounds of heavy screaming, drums, and guitars surround me. I picked up my pen and began scribbling my thoughts on the blank page in front of me.

June 17, 2010

_Where do I even begin…_

_Last night, Adam decided to think it's okay to do things to me against my will, and then this morning, he tried to pretend that he didn't remember! That's not cool. I don't think I could look at him the same way anymore. I can barely get the image of what he did to me last night out of my head. Just the thought of it makes me shudder, cringe, gag._

_Adam is my best friend; I didn't think he would be this way – especially towards me. _

_I do love Adam though, just not exactly in that way. He's an amazing friend and has been there for me through everything, but if he is going to be this way… I don't think I could invite him over to stay the night with me anymore. We'll hang out, just I won't stay the night with him and he won't stay the night with me. That should be reasonable. It's fair to me, and to him. _

I looked to my right and watched the rain vigorously fall from the dark skies. For lack of the better word, it was raining cats and dogs. I didn't mind it though, I enjoy when it rains, but it all depends exactly on what mood I was in.

And rain sounds just amazing right now. I picked up my iPod and flipped through the songs, and stopped when I heard one that somehow managed to make me think about Adam. My face dropped and I sighed heavily. I turned my iPod off, and got up, walked off the porch, and headed into the rain. I immediately got soaked, but I didn't care. I figured that getting wet would make me feel better; cleanse my body from Adam's ministrations, no matter if I'm fully clothed.

I barely got halfway down the road before feeling uncomfortable.

My clothes stuck to me like an extra skin and it was making it hard to walk since it hung heavy on my body.

Reaching up, I moved my bangs from my eyes and muttered a series of curse words under my breath, and mentally punching myself for doing something so stupid.

"Eli!"

I stopped dead in my tracks and turned around, watching the one person that I wouldn't mind seeing run up to me, holding an umbrella over their head, which I was soon standing underneath of.

"What are you doing walking out here in the rain?"

"I just… wanted to walk in the rain, Clare. I normally do when I need to think." I responded lowly, looking away from her. I couldn't even look at her. Just thinking if Clare found out about what Adam did to me, made me have second thoughts about everything.

"Are you okay? You look a little pale." She said.

"I'm fine." I began walking, soon getting rained on again. I could hear Clare's footsteps trotting behind me and she said, "You're getting wet Eli, don't you think you should go back inside?" I stopped and turned around to face her.

"Clare, I want to walk out here in the rain, stop worrying." My tone was off and I could see the hurt in her eyes. She nervously started to chew on her bottom lip and I sighed and reached up to clench my drenched hair in my hand. I turned around and began stomping away. When I heard Clare choke on a sob, I turned around and noticed that she had dropped the umbrella and started walking away, rubbing her arm.

I frowned and walked up to her. When I reached her, I placed a hand on her shoulder and turned her around. She looked up at me. Even though it was raining hard, I could still see tears streaming down her face. I cupped her cheek whispering, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to snap at you. I'm just… I'm not myself today." She nodded and closed her eyes.

"Clare, look at me." I stated.

She slowly opened her eyes and I smiled faintly at her. Clare reached up and placed her hand over mine, and clenched it. She asked, "What happen that made you not yourself?" I looked away from her big blue eyes and shook my head. Clare reached up and she touched my face, turning me to look at her. She said, "You can tell me." I removed my hand and shook my head again. Clare frowned and she looked at me quizzically.

"Eli, you know you can… tell me anything… I promise I won't judge." She stated.

I glanced up at her and swallowed the growing lump in my throat.

Should I tell her? I wanted to… just to tell someone. My mom always told me that if I wanted to feel slightly better, I should tell someone what's wrong. Maybe Clare is that person. I couldn't tell my parents, because they would only call my therapist and have me tell him what's going on. They normally only talk to me when he's done being a dick.

"Eli?" Clare asked, breaking my train of thought.

"Adam sexually harassed me last night." I whispered.

"What?" Clare asked, with concern in her voice.

"Adam he – he did things… he almost forced himself on me." I said, trying my hardest not to let my voice crack.

To be honest, I was more afraid than disgusted. I was scared, more scared than I was when I found out that I had murdered Clare's dog.

"Eli." She cradled my face in her hands and I looked at her with scared green eyes. Clare gasped when I had wrapped my arms around her and I suddenly forgotten that we were standing in the middle of the sidewalk, in the pouring rain. I clenched her wet shirt and my head fell to her shoulder. Clare rubbed my back and she whispered, "It's okay, you'll be okay."

"No it won't." I responded.

"He doesn't even remember doing it, Clare. He sat there this morning at the kitchen table, pretending he doesn't know what he did."

Clare shivered and she said, "Let's go back to my house, we can dry off there."

"Do you think your parents will let me in?" I asked.

"Oh, no I don't think so…" She trailed off.

"Let's go to mine." I suggested. Clare nodded and I turned around and walked to get the umbrella. Clare watched and when I headed back to her, she frowned and whispered, "Crap… I have to go back home. I have something I have to do." I blinked a few times and nodded lightly. She said, "Can I come over later?"

We were now standing on my porch and I felt the urge to sneeze, but before I did, I told Clare that it was okay for her to come by later. I wanted to know what she was going to do, but it wasn't my business, so I left it at that. Clare smiled and she turned to walk away. I reached out and grabbed her wrist, turning her to me. She blinked up at me in slight surprise, and I slowly backed her up against the side wall of my house. I grasped her hips and asked softly, "Can I kiss you?"

Clare smiled lightly and I smirked, watching her face turn slightly pink.

She nodded and I leaned down and pressed my lips against hers. Clare snaked her hands up around my neck, and I resisted the urge to groan when her lips moved with mine. I traced her bottom lip with my tongue and she openly invited me in. My tongue plunged into her mouth and she whimpered. I pressed my body closer to hers and she moved her hands down to my chest and soon wrapped her arms up under my shoulders.

Our tongues wrestled and coiled around each other's. I pulled away, tugging slightly at her bottom lip between my teeth. Clare's breathing was uneven and I smiled against her lips.

"You're such an amazing kisser." Clare gasped when she said this and she reached up and covered her mouth with her hands, her face turned pinker than it already was. I removed her hands and kissed her blushing cheeks.

"I know." I whispered back, making her laugh.

"So cocky Elijah."

I smirked and said, "Go on and get your little 'assignment' done. I have something I need to do too." Clare nodded and she got up on her tip toes and kissed my jawline. I watched her move back down and I smiled a little.

"Um, Clare… I have something I want to ask you." I whispered lightly.

"What is it?" She asked curiously, her head cocking to the side. I glanced up at her eyes, and pushed the wet curls that stuck to her face away with my hand. I moved my fingers to her lips where I traced the bottom one with my thumb. I thought I was ready to ask her to be my girlfriend, but the moment I opened my mouth, no words came out. I sighed and dropped my head to her shoulder. Clare giggled and said, "It's okay you can ask me later."

"Okay." I murmured.

"I'll see you later." Clare said as she kissed my cheek.

"Bye." I said, watching her take the umbrella and run down the steps, across the road, to her lawn, and disappear behind the front door of her house. I turned around and looked at the porch swing, eyeing my notebook that had small droplets of water splattered all over it, and my iPod was still playing music. I sighed and grabbed my things, and headed inside the house. I was freezing, and all I wanted to do was take a warm shower. I headed to my room, grabbed some dry clothes, and walked into my bathroom and shut the door.

After pealing my wet clothes off, and dumping them into the hamper in the bathroom, I turned the shower on and stepped in once the water was scolding hot. I smiled and sighed as the water hit my skin, warming my body.

…

…

…

…

When I had walked into my house after talking with Eli, my mom was sitting in the living room watching T.V. and reading a magazine. She noticed me walking in and did a double take, noticing that I was drenched. I walked up the stairs to my room, avoiding any conversation with her, and because my psychiatrist is coming in a little bit; I needed to change into a different pair of clothes.

Grabbing my long sleeve black shirt, and a pair of black plaid pajama pants, I quickly changed into them after removing my wet clothes, and tossing them into the hamper. I ran a brush through my hair, and winced just slightly when I had pulled on some tangled strands.

I walked to my window and watched the rain fall down heavily, and hoped that maybe, Dr. Sanders wouldn't show up. Of course, wishful thinking, a silver Lexus pulled up in my driveway and out walked my stuck up psychiatrist. She held her leather suitcase above her head as she ran up to the front door. Listening intently while looking around the room, I could hear my mother talking to her and then she shouted for me to come downstairs.

Lazily, I obeyed her, walking slowly down the stairs and entering the living room.

"Hello Clare, how are you doing?"

"Never been better Dr. Sanders." I responded with a sardonic tone. Dr. Sanders whipped her fake blond hair over her shoulder and cleared her throat nervously. Mom said, "Well I'll leave you two to talk." I watched her leave and disappear upstairs. Dr. Sanders smiled at me.

"Shall we?" She asked, while walking to sit down in a chair. I followed suit, and walked to lie on the couch. I placed my hands over my stomach and waited for Dr. Sanders to give me the cue to spill my guts out to her. Dr. Sanders clicked her pin and scribbled words onto her large yellow notepad. She said, "So it's been a while since we last talked, want to tell me what's been going on in your life?"

I resisted the urge to snort. This is why I hate psychiatrists, they want to know things that's not any of their business, but I always cooperate, and tell them. Because, sooner or later, they're going to find out, so there is no reason for me not to lie.

"I made a new friend a few weeks ago."

"Oh, what is her name?"

"His name is Eli Goldsworthy."

"Oh, it's a he? That's nice for a change, how is he?" Dr. Sanders asked. I smiled and responded, "He's really great, a little rough around the edges, but he's really sweet. He cares for people, he's really amazing. Not really like any other guy that I have ever met." My smile was wide. I guess not only thinking about Eli makes me smile; talking about him gives me a big goofy grin also. Dr. Sanders muttered something that I couldn't really comprehend, but I let it go.

"That's good, so does he know you're a suicidal teen? Has he turned you away?"

I got up to look her straight in the eye.

"No…"

"No he doesn't know you're suicidal?" Dr. Sanders asked.

"No, he hasn't turned me away, and he doesn't know I'm suicidal, he knows I cut though." I responded and added, "He may have a general idea though." My tone was a whisper and I looked down, chewing my bottom lip and clenching the cushions of the couch. Dr. Sanders scribbled words down on her notepad. She glanced over at me and clicked her tongue saying, "So, your mother told me that you told her something really nerve wrecking last night, would you care talking to me about it?"

Nerve wrecking? Oh yeah, when I told my mother my father rapes me and she didn't even do anything about it. I sighed shakily, knowing that my psychiatrist is going to take my family's side, instead of mine.

I figured I might as well give it a shot and I whispered, "At night, when everyone is sleeping… daddy comes into my room and… he r-rapes me…" I trailed off and stole a glance from the Dr. She blinked a few times and asked, "Are you sure?" I nodded and swallowed hard.

"I-I have proof." I whispered.

Dr. Sanders seemed interested in what I was saying so I got up and slowly removed my pants, showing her the bruising on my inner thighs. She narrowed her eyes and I said, "I couldn't do this to myself, could I?" She reached up and traced the bruises lightly with her fingers and said, "Clare, this is serious."

I tried not to let my hopes get the better of me, but I nodded and whispered, "Will you help me? Do you believe me?" I couldn't help but ask. I needed to know if I was just getting my hopes up. She got up and told me to pull my pants up. Dr. Sanders pulled a card out of her suitcase and wrote a number down on the back of it. She whispered, "If it happens again, call this number and ask for me. This is my office number; I'll come over as soon as I can." I smiled and tossed my arms around her, thanking her.

"I have to go now. I'll be back in a week or so." She said out loud to make it sound like she wasn't talking to me secretively.

I nodded and walked her to the front door. I opened it and she walked out, turned around, and gave me a reassuring look. I smiled at her and held the card close to my chest. Dr. Sanders walked quickly to her car and climbed in. Moments later, she had pulled out of my driveway and headed down the road. I smiled a little and closed the front door. My mom was coming down the stairs and I hid the car from her, stuffing it into my pocket.

"What did she say?"

"She said that she'll come back in a week or so." I responded, brushing by my mother and walking up the stairs. I was going to change, yet again so I could go and see Eli. I now remembered when he said that he needed to ask me something, and I got overly curious about it and quickly changed into a pair of jeans. I didn't bother in changing my shirt so I pulled on a thick plaid jacket with fur along the rim of the hood. I slipped on my black and white converse and bounced down the stairs.

"Where are you going?"

"Out." I responded to my mother while walking to the laundry room, just to check on Beauty. When I opened the door, she was sleeping soundly in her bed and I smiled while closing the door. While walking to the front door, the second I opened it, I was staring at the faces of my father and Darcy. I swallowed hard and walked around them quickly. Surprisingly, my father didn't shout at me to come back. I sprinted across the road and into Eli's lawn, walking up the front steps.

I reached up and rang the doorbell, and waited patiently for him to open the door. Momentarily, I heard footsteps and the door opened. Eli smiled at me and I stepped inside, walking to his living room. I turned around saying, "I um, finished your movie. I kind of forgot to bring it though."

"Don't worry about it, so what do you want to do?" Eli asked, shifting his weight to one leg. I made a popping sound with my lips and suggested, "Why don't we just sit here and relax, watch some T.V… Or, you can ask me what you were going to ask me." I smiled and giggled, watching Eli's face turn red and he looked away. I figured it was something important. Eli cleared his throat and he took a seat on the couch. I sat down next to him and removed my hood.

"Clare, um… I just… I was just wondering if – you maybe want to…" Eli's sentence trailed off and I noticed that he began shaking slightly. I reached out and touched his hand. He glanced over at me and sighed, bowing his head, his slightly damp hair hung over his face.

"I know we haven't known each other long but," He looked over at me, taking my hand in his. I realized what was going to happen next, and my heart climbed up to my throat and it started to race rapidly. My cheeks turned red and Eli continued, "Will you be my… _girlfriend_?" He bowed his head again and I smiled really wide. I reached up with my free hand and tilted his head up and towards me.

Eli's green eyes looked into mine and I leaned forward and kissed his forehead. When I pulled away and removed his hair from his face, and cupped his cheek. Eli's smoldering eyes scanned mine and I pulled him to me, crushing our lips together. He gasped and I instantly thrust my tongue into his mouth. Eli responded to the kiss, and I pulled back and ran my fingers through his silky hair.

"Eli…"

He licked his bottom lip and frowned lightly.

"I would love to be your girlfriend."

Eli smiled wide, and he leaned forward and kissed me, his hands cupped my face. The kiss was chaste, but I did enjoy it. He pulled away and rested his forehead against mine.

"For a second I thought you were going to say no." He whispered.

"Eli that's ridiculous." I laughed.

He only pulled away and leaned back against the couch. I did the same, and rested my head on his shoulder, while his arm wrapped around my shoulders. I felt so content with him. I looked up at him and he glanced down at me, smiling softly. I closed my eyes and sighed. I had never been this happy in such a long time. I knew this was going to be the best choice of my life, because deep down, I know Eli and I were meant to be.

He makes everything better for me.

End of Chapter 17

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*sniffles* Ah, that was just so sweet. I legit cried when I wrote this. The next chapter will be jumping forward, only a few days to the double date. So, if you want the next chapter, leave me some adoring reviews :)) I love reading and receiving them! They totes make my day or night, ha ha.

Oh and I found out something really uh, disappointing. I found a story that was undoubtly similiar to mine, and to be honest, I don't appreciate that. I'm not going to name names, but what you did was not cool. I don't appreciate plagarism, and you should be glad I don't report it. Okay? Thanks, bye.

Don't forget those reviews!

Goodbye for now!


	18. this heart it beats, beats for only you

Disclaimer: Degrassi is something I don't own, sadly… I do own Eli's five year old cousin though, Maureen. Nor, do I own Black Swan.

A/N: *spazzes* Damn! I'm almost to six hundred reviews! I'm so excited! I would like to thank EclareYummines - I spelled your name right this time ;) – For leaving the most amazing review ever! Your reviews really make my day, oh and CrystalNight1 you guys always leave the most amazing reviews! But um CrystalNight1, Adam is a full blown out guy in this story, as I mentioned before… Anyway, LiteraryLolita, thank you for the critique! I'll take that to consideration and work on my tenses haha, because I know I suck at them DX. Anyway, thanks again for the lovely reviews! They really mean a lot!

Well here is chapter 18! I hope you enjoy it. Most of it will be the double date, which I know it will be awkward for Eli, considering the scene that played out with Adam. Fiona will be entering in this chapter, and she's kind of not a real sweet piece of pie; I'm just telling you a head of time.

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Alibis

Summary: Waiting for change to lead him down a more innocent path, death obsessed Elijah Goldsworthy finds it in a blue eyed beauty, but perhaps with an even darker past than his own.

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CHAPTER 18

I sat in front of the mirror in my room, applying the smallest amount of light blue eye shadow around my eyes, applied with a line of thick black liner with a little wing. Smiling just lightly, I applied some cherry lip-gloss and ruffled my curly hair. After I finished my make-up, I walked to my bed where I had my navy blue sweater laid out on it. Tonight, I was getting ready to go on a date with Eli, and Adam and his girlfriend. Last night while Eli and I were on the phone, I asked if he was going to feel comfortable with Adam, since he did… well almost force himself on Eli.

He told me he's going to try and cope with it, and that he should be fine. I pulled my jacket on, and fixed the light purple spaghetti strap shirt I wore underneath it; my jeans came next as I fixed the pockets, and then I pulled on my light purple ballet flats. I spun around and took a look at myself before I reached to grab my phone off my nightstand, reading the text that I had gotten from Eli.

_I can't wait to see you :)  
—Eli _

I quickly responded to his text and looked up when I heard the doorbell ring. I smiled and grabbed my messenger bag, and pulled the strap over my shoulder, letting it fall across my chest. While bouncing down the stairs, I flashed a small smile to my mother who sat on the couch, watching a movie. Opening the door, I was greeted with Eli's gorgeous face.

"Ready to go?" He asked.

"Yeah, but I have to go feed Beauty really quick, so, um, stay right there." I said, holding a hand up. Eli nodded and watched me turn around and head to the laundry room. I opened the door and when I stepped inside; Beauty hopped off her bed and ran up to me, wagging her little tail. I reached down to pet her and then poured some Puppy Chow in her bowl; she had enough water, so I didn't have to get her any. I almost ran out of the laundry room, just so I can meet with Eli.

After shutting the front door of my house, I wrapped my arms around his waist, and he in return kissed the top of my head.

"Um, are we taking your mother's car again?" I asked.

"Nope, I got my car to work again."

"You know I've known you for a little over three weeks, and I'm now going to finally see your car." I laughed. Eli chuckled and he wrapped his arm around my waist while leading me to the back of his house, towards the other side that I hadn't been too. My eyes grew wide and I cleared my throat and switched glances between him, and his car.

"A-a hearse?" I asked.

…

…

Eli and I drove in silence as I looked around his vintage hearse in amusement. He glanced over at me and I reached up and opened the glove compartment, being a little too nosy. Eli cleared his throat and I quickly closed it, and placed my hands at my sides whispering, "Sorry."

"It's okay." He responded.

I smiled and unfastened my seatbelt to move towards the middle of the seats. After fastening my seatbelt again, I leaned my head on his shoulder and sighed. The four of us – Adam, Eli, Fiona (whom I've never met) and I, decided we go to the mall and watch a movie. I was really excited, because so far the only place I've been too was the pet store, and The Dot. I get to finally see the mall and I heard from Eli that it's pretty big, and that there's always something going on, so I'm excited.

"Clare, we're here." Eli said.

I glanced around and smiled sheepishly, realizing that I had been sitting in the hearse for a few minutes, smiling at the air. Eli held his hand out after opening the door, and I took it. I climbed out of the hearse and Eli shut the door and locked it. We walked towards the entrance of the mall, arm wrapped around each other's waists. I leaned into him and Eli pressed his lips against my temple, placing a kiss there.

"I hope I'm not… too clingy or anything." Eli whispered.

"Eli? What makes you think that?" I asked, blinking up at him.

"I'm just… I don't want you to think I'm growing too attached to you. If I'm kissing you too much, just tell me and I'll stop—

"Eli," I stepped in front of him, causing Eli to stop dead in his tracks. I reached up and cupped his face, brushing my thumb back and forth over his cheekbone, "I don't mind you kissing me, it just shows that… you care about me…" My cheeks turned bright red and I bowed my head, moving my hand from his face to my side; Eli tilted my chin up and he looked into my blue eyes. He brushed my hair behind my ear, and smiled faintly.

I got up on my tip toes, and pressed a kiss on his lips, and then pulled away, smiling gently. I giggled lightly and reached up to remove the lip-gloss on Eli's bottom lip. He smiled and we continued our short journey towards the mall.

Eli reached into his pocket with his free hand after taking my hand in his. He flipped his phone open and said, "Adam and Fiona are in the food court, and they said they already bought a pizza so we can eat before the movie." I blinked up at Eli and said, "Movie? I didn't bring any money."

I blushed and looked down. Eli reached up and opened the door for me.

"I'll pay for you, Clare." He smirked at me.

"A-are you sure? I'll pay you back." I said as I walked into the mall, and turned around, walking backwards. Eli pinned his eyebrows together and said, "Clare, you're my date, I'm not going to make you pay me back, I'm not a horrible boyfriend." I smiled at him and stood next to him, and I wrapped my arm around his bicep.

As we made our way to the food court, I was too busy glancing around the entire mall. When I felt Eli tense up a bit, I blinked up at him and then glanced over at where his eyes were focused; I spotted Adam and there was a girl sitting next to him, she looked like a rich snob if you ask me. As we walked closer and closer to them, I rubbed Eli's bicep when I could feel the tension rubbing off of him. He smiled at me and my lips curled up slightly into the tiniest, reassuring smile. I know he was getting tense because he was going to be with Adam, but the smile I gave him made him slightly calm down. And, I took that as a small hint that he was trying to calm down.

"It's about time you two love birds showed up. Adam here wouldn't stop talking to me about some stupid comic book that I frankly don't care about. Hi, you must be Clare. I'm Fiona." She held out her hand and I took it, shaking it lightly.

"Eli, you're still wearing those jeans aren't you? I believe they have gotten tighter than mine." Fiona snarled, her arms crossed just under her chest.

"Fiona, not now." Eli responded. I stole a glance from him, and then looked down at his white acid washed jeans, and then to the long sleeve black and gray shirt, along with his slate gray short sleeve V-neck pulled over it. I think Eli looked fine, so I don't know why Fiona is going to judge. Adam is wearing skinny jeans, so why doesn't she bug him about them?

"Right, you don't want me to bash you in front of your girlfriend do you?" Fiona looked over at me and I blushed, turning my attention elsewhere while I ran my hand down Eli's bicep, and interlaced our fingers together. He growled and said, "Come on Clare, let's go walk around." I squeaked when he softly pulled on my arm, and we both disappeared around the corner.

Eli leaned up against the wall next to the glass of a store, and he clenched his hair in his hands. I reached up and gently rubbed the back of his neck, playing with the small strands there. Eli groaned, "I really hate her…"

I smiled lightly.

"I know, I can tell." I giggled.

Eli wrapped his arm around my waist and suggested that we go to the arcade and play a few games before we watch the movie. Which, I was a little bit concerned about because Eli hadn't asked what movie we were going to watch so he could buy the tickets. So, I reached up and placed my hands on his shoulders and told him, "Why don't you ask Adam what movie we are going to watch, so you can um… get the tickets and then we can go to the arcade." Eli nodded and told me to wait for him, and I watched him walk back to the table. I shifted my weight to one leg, and twiddled my fingers together, watching Eli talk to Adam. When Eli came walking back to me, I glanced up at him curiously.

"We're watching Black Swan."

I smiled and squealed, bouncing up and down slightly.

Eli blinked a few times at me and I hid my face, blushing. I heard him chuckle and he took my hand in his, and we started walking.

I leaned into Eli as we made our way to the line.

"So, Eli." I said.

"Yes?" He asked, tightening his hold on my hand lightly. I cleared my throat and looked up at him, "How are you?" Eli turned to me and a confused look adorned his face, and I realized that I needed to elaborate my question. I wanted to make sure he was okay with Adam, and see if he and Adam had interacted since that night a few days ago.

"You and Adam, is everything okay? Are you okay? Did you guys talk any?" I asked a little too quickly.

"Um… well, he called me yesterday – he said that he was sorry for whatever he did, and that he still didn't know what I was talking about. I just, I still can't get over the fact that my only friend would do that to me." I felt kind of bad for asking. Because Eli's face fell and I could hear the pain in his voice, I reached up and touched his shoulder, rubbing it with my thumb.

Eli smiled at me and we were soon standing behind the counter, I glanced around, looking at the many people that walked by while Eli was buying our tickets.

"Oh! Eli, can we go to the pet store!" He turned around and pinned his eyebrows together as I pointed to the store just across from us and gave him the best girl pout I possessed. He sighed, "Can't say no to that face." I squealed and took his hand, practically running to the store. When we were inside, I was staring in awe at the large Macaw, its bright blue and yellow feathers flapping as it stayed on its perch. I looked over at Eli, smiling wide and he just smiled sheepishly at me. I turned my attention back to the exotic bird and noticed that it bowed its head and I reached up to pet him.

"Aww!" I smiled.

Eli passed by me and I watched as he crouched in front of an empty glass fish tank. I walked to him and noticed that he was eyeing a black and orange tarantula. I shuddered and he glanced up at me and said, "You don't like spiders?" I shook my head quickly and Eli stood up and chuckled. He said, "I want to hold it…" I frowned and responded while holding my hands up in a defense motion, "Be my guest, I'll just be over here."

Eli rolled his eyes and smiled when I looked away and crossed my arms across my chest.

He walked to me and looked over my shoulder. I uncrossed my arms and craned my neck to the left, and stared into the large circle shaped glass filled with a variety of tiny birds, which had their wings clipped so they won't fly away. Eli reached inside and a small bird stepped onto his hand. He smiled and held it up close to her faces. The bird was small, and I smiled and reached up to pass the tip of my index over the top of its small head.

"Oh, Eli, didn't you want to go to the arcade?" I asked as he placed the cockatiel back with the other birds.

"Yeah, we don't have to if you don't want to though." Eli responded.

"No, no! I want to!" I smiled and placed a kiss on his cheek and Eli smiled. He took my hand and led me out of the pet store.

…

…

…

…

Clare and I were walking out of the pet store, and I had to walk ahead while she trailed behind me, holding her hand tightly in mine, so she couldn't see the wide grin I had on my face. This was the first time in a long time that I had been so happy to be with someone. Clare was like my other half, and I was proud to finally admit that yes, I do have a girlfriend. Before, when I was with Jenna, I would hesitate a few times when people asked if she and I were together.

I stole a glance from Clare, and she smiled wide. She had taken longer strides and was standing next to me.

"How long do we have to see the movie?" She asked me curiously, her head cocked to the side. I enjoyed it when Clare did this. She looked damn cute when she did this.

"Um," I reached into my pocket and pulled the tickets out, eyeing the time, "the movie doesn't start until thirty minutes, so we can just—

"I challenge you to… a racing game!" Clare giggled. I blinked a few times. She was still a child. I nodded and we continued to make our way to the arcade. I tried not to cringe when I heard the loudest squeal coming from none other than Fiona Coyne. She and Adam were playing some game mortal combat game, which indeed surprised me, because Fiona never played those games. She probably lost a bet with Adam, and he ended up bribing her in playing some game she can't even beat. As Clare and I made our way towards the back, we both brushed by Adam and Fiona. She squeaked and turned around saying, "Oh, there you two are!" Clare turned around and she smiled sheepishly at Adam's annoying girlfriend.

"We had to finish the pizza all by ourselves, since you decided to steal Clare away." Fiona stated annoyingly as her hands were placed on her hips.

"Ha ha." I laughed sarcastically.

"Well, Eli and I were just going to go play a racing game, would you guys like to join us?" Clare asked, stepping in. I looked down at the top of her head, and she turned around to steal a glance from me. She gave me a small pleading look and I shrugged my shoulders. Fiona and Clare had walked away towards the machine, leaving Adam and I to trail behind them awkwardly. Adam shoved his hands into his pockets and cleared his throat.

Glancing at him with the corner of my eye, I noticed that he was looking at me nervously.

"U-uh Eli, I know I um apologized the other day about – you know – could you tell me exactly what happen? My mind is in a fog, but I remembered something." Adam finally said. I sucked my bottom lip into to my mouth and then chewed on the inside corner of it. While looking over at Clare and Fiona, I noticed that they were already too engrossed in the game, and I couldn't help but laugh, listening to their squeals and Clare's cute giggles.

I leaned against the air hockey machine and cleared my throat before I asked, "What exactly is it that you want to know?"

"Everything, how it started, how it ended, everything." Adam stood in front of me, keeping a distance between my body and his.

"I was um, sleeping and you were just… you know placing your arm around my waist, and kissing on my neck and biting it, and you um… had your hand _inside my boxers _and you were… you were telling me that I was – I was…" I trailed off, and Adam reached up and placed a hand on my shoulder. I looked up at him slightly and he had a pained expression on his face. I wanted to do something, but what Adam did next caught me completely off guard; his arms reached out, and he pulled me to him, giving me the tightest hug ever. I hesitantly reached up and wrapped my arms around his waist and since he was much taller than me, his head fell to my shoulder. I heard him whisper, "Eli, I'm so sorry." I sighed heavily and told him that it was okay. Even if it was, I still couldn't trust him being with me alone. Our little "moment" was interrupted with Fiona's annoying sound of her clearing of her throat.

"The movie starts in just a few minutes; let's go get some good seats." She stared at me, giving me that cold look that read "get-your-hands-off-my-boyfriend". Clare walked up and she wrapped her arms around my waist, flashing me the cutest expression on her gorgeous face.

"Might as well go get the seats." She said, placing her chin on my shoulder.

I nodded and the four of us walked towards the cinema.

"Eli, what happened to the back of your head?" Fiona asked, and she reached up and touched the scar there. I hissed, because it still did hurt.

"It's none of your business is it now?" I questioned.

"Just asking, don't need to get all snippy with me." Fiona rolled her eyes.

Our tickets were torn in half, and we had made our way towards the theatre. Adam and Fiona walked towards the top, while Clare and I sat a few rows down, directly in the middle of the seats. Clare had lifted the arm rest that separated me from her, and she scooted closer to me, resting her head on my shoulder. I reached down and laced our fingers together, and she sighed whispering, "I'm so glad we're together Eli." I turned just slightly, and lifted her chin, tilting her head up to look at me.

I cupped her cheek and rubbed my thumb on her cheekbone. "Clare, I'm happy too." Clare smiled and I leaned down and placed a gentle kiss on her lips.

We pulled away and focused our attention on the screen, once the theatre had grown dark, and the movie soon started.

…

…

"God, that movie sucked! It was so horrible! You should've let me pick the movie, Adam!" Fiona complained. I rubbed my temple in irritation and said, "Fiona, will you just shut the fuck up!" Clare cleared her throat and she whispered, "Let's just go." Fiona smirked and Adam draped his arm around her shoulders.

"We have to go anyway; I'll talk to you guys later." Adam said as he smiled nervously at me. Clare was chewing on her bottom lip when I looked at her, and she walked up to Adam and hugged him. I couldn't help but feel a little bit jealous, but I know Clare wouldn't go off with him. Adam hugged her back and they pulled away momentarily. Clare turned to me and she took my hand in hers, and we both started to walk out of the mall.

Clare said, "I disagree with Fiona, I think the movie was really great."

"Yeah, I liked it… Fiona is always complaining though, she's just too difficult." I sighed.

"So, um, it's probably only a little after nine, almost ten. What would you like to do?" Clare asked.

I shrugged my shoulders and opened the passenger door for her once I unlocked it. Clare climbed in and I walked around and climbed into the driver's side. I turned the ignition on and suggested, "We can just… drive around, and go eat some ice-cream?" Clare nodded quickly and I smiled and pulled out of the parking lot, and drove to the nearest ice-cream parlor. Clare was quiet on the way there. She was staring out the window for the longest time, and I started to think there was something wrong. I held the steering wheel with one hand while I reached over and took her hand. Clare turned her attention to me and she smiled.

"Clare, is something wrong?" I asked curiously.

"Huh? Oh, no there's nothing wrong. I'm just a little tired is all." I tried to hide the frown that appeared on my face, and I slowly nodded. Clare scooted closer to me and she said, "What's wrong?" I guess I wasn't trying hard enough to hide it. I shook my head and whispered, "It's nothing." It was her turn to frown now. She placed her hand on my shoulder.

"Eli, did I do something?" She asked.

"No, no. Sorry, I'm just… I'm thinking about what Adam told me earlier. It's fine." I flashed Clare a reassuring smile and she nodded. She moved away so she was sitting in the middle of the seats, and she fastened her seatbelt. It didn't take us long to arrive at the parlor, and once I parked and turned the ignition off, Clare almost bolted out of the car, and I laughed as I extracted the keys and climbed out as well. We walked inside and Clare stood in front of the variety of ice-creams. She turned to me.

"What are you getting?"

"I um, I don't eat ice-cream much." I honestly said.

"Oh, well today you will," She smiled, "I mean I'll share mine so you don't have to get something." I nodded and stood next to her while she ordered her ice-cream. Of course, she had to get chocolate. Not that I had a problem with it or anything. Clare stood on the side and spooned some of the ice-cream into her mouth and she smiled after pulling the plastic spoon out. I swallowed nervously and paid the cashier; Clare and I walked out of the parlor and sat outside. She sat down next to me, and spooned some more ice-cream into her mouth. She turned so she was facing me, and held the spoon to my lips after scooping some more onto it.

"Clare, you're not going to feed me." I blushed.

"Awe, please?" She pouted.

I rolled my eyes and looked around. Slowly, I parted my lips and Clare softly shoved the spoon into my mouth and I closed my mouth. Clare pulled the spoon out and I swallowed the cold treat. She smiled and did it again. I gave her a fake pout and she pouted in return, her bottom lip slightly pushed out. I sighed and opened my mouth slightly yet again. Clare pushed the spoon into my mouth and repeated the cycle. Clare smiled triumphantly and I took the small cup from her hands, and placed it on the table. Since she was straddling the seat, I pulled her closer to me, wrapping my arms around her waist.

Clare giggled and I leaned forward and kissed her lips. Her hands wrapped around my neck and she kissed me back. Her lips moved expertly with mine, and when I reached up to cup her face, I could feel the heat radiating off her white skin, she blushed when I pressed my tongue against her lips, trying to desperately get her to open her mouth. Clare gasped when I softly raked my fingers through her hair, and clenched the strands lightly; I took that opportunity to slowly push my tongue inside.

I groaned lightly. The inside of her mouth was slightly cold, and had the faint taste of chocolate. Clare's kiss was slightly hesitant, but I didn't mind. She told me before that she never kissed anybody like this, and that even though we've kissed many times, she was still going to be hesitant.

I moved my hand to the back of her head and crushed our lips harder as her tongue slowly moved against mine.

Clare pulled away, her breathing was slightly uneven. I smirked and placed a chaste kiss on her lips, before pulling away as well. Clare swallowed nervously and she reached over and grabbed the rest of her ice-cream and finished eating it. I watched her and she said after pulling the plastic spoon from her mouth, "Do you think you can show me where this Degrassi Community School is? I wouldn't mind seeing what it looks like. Mom and dad told me they were going to take me some time, but they haven't."

"Um, okay." I responded.

Clare got up, threw her trash away and climbed into my hearse after I opened the door for her. I climbed in as well and cranked the ignition on, and drove away towards the school.

End of Chapter 18

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First things first, um, Clare is not going to die in this, I mentioned I was going to write a sequel for this story, with the after effects of the summer, so, no she isn't going to die. Nobody is going to die in this story, well, not the main characters ;) Anyway, so, I decided that Chapter 19 is going to be the greatest chapter ever, want to know why? Do you WANT to know why Chapter 19 will be the greatest chapter ever? Ha, I'll let you in on a little secret it's something you've been waiting for :) Anyway, if you want it, review! Reviews are great, better than peanut butter if you ask me o.O

Goodbye for now!


	19. breathe in, breathe out

Disclaimer: Degrassi is something I don't own, sadly… I do own Eli's five year old cousin though, Maureen. I also don't own Breathe In, Breathe Out by Mat Kearney, it will only be mentioned, no lyrics or anything.

A/N: OH MY GOD! SIX HUNDRED REVIEWS! Anyway, okay so EclareYummines**s** – I actually spelled it **RIGHT** this time :D – Thank you for the reviews, and to answer your question about the sweaters, it's more like a jacket, you know, something like what Adam was forced to wear in My Body is a Cage. I hope that makes sense, haha. Oh and again thanks to CrystalNight1, because this person has gone back and started reviewing every chapter, even though they had already read it. I love you! And, your reviews totes make me laugh, so yeah. You get kudo points.

Anyway, um… you guys DO know that Eli and Clare can't have sex now right? For crying out loud they haven't even gotten to second base yet… So uncool to think that ._. Anyway, here you are! Chapter 19! Reviews are amazing!

Warnings: Parental abuse

* * *

Alibis

Summary: Waiting for change to lead him down a more innocent path, death obsessed Elijah Goldsworthy finds it in a blue eyed beauty, but perhaps with an even darker past than his own.

* * *

CHAPTER 19

"So, this is Degrassi." I asked, standing in front of the steps; I turned to look at Eli, and he had his hands shoved into his pockets. I looked back up at the entrance of the school. It was really big, outside, which probably meant the school was big on the inside too. I chewed my bottom lip between my teeth, and noticed that Eli had walked passed me and took a seat on the steps. I followed, and sat down next to him. We were quiet, but I didn't mind. I placed my hands on my knees and looked around.

Eli sighed and I looked over at him. He looked deep in thought. I was afraid to touch him, afraid that he was going to just snap or something. But, I placed my hand over his shoulder and looked over at me, and smiled faintly.

"What are you thinking about?" I asked. Eli shrugged his shoulders whispering, "Nothing." I frowned and moved to him. Eli wrapped his arm around me, and I shifted so I was sitting in the step below him, my back pressed against his chest. Eli placed his hands on my shoulders, and I tensed up a bit, before he started to gently massage them. I smiled and closed my eyes. It felt really good, and Eli's fingers soon started to work out the knots in my shoulders.

He dipped his head down, and I blushed deeply, feeling his lips ghost against my ear. I bit my bottom lip when I heard him whisper, "Does it feel good?" I nodded and closed my eyes, letting him caress my shoulders with his strong hands. Eli's touch was gentle, but as he moved his thumbs down between my shoulder blades, and he circled his thumbs around the muscles there and I let out a small moan. I blushed, realizing what had just escaped my lips and I bowed my head. Eli slowly moved his hands up to my shoulders again, and with one, he pushed my hair away and I blushed harder, feeling his lips against the back of my neck.

My heart started to race and I swallowed hard, feeling Eli's lips on my skin. His arm moved around me, just under my breasts and Eli kept my hair away from my neck while he placed tender kisses here and there. I clenched my chew and my body stiffened in poster as Eli's lips trailed to the side of my neck where I felt him slightly part his lips and suck gently on it. I swallowed hard, and Eli's tongue slowly moved across my skin, up and down my flesh and up to my ear where he nipped on my earlobe.

It wasn't until I started to feel really uncomfortable and my breathing had picked up and as Eli trailed his lips back to my neck, his hand moved across the aread under my breasts, and stayed at my side. Eli clenched the fabric of my sweater and I tensed up and my breaths came out sharp. Eli didn't stop, because I guess he thought I was enjoying this, but I wasn't to be honest.

"E-Eli, stop it… please, please stop! Stop!" I got up and moved away from him. My back faced him, and I knew that if I turned around, I was going to see a hurt expression on his face. I held my body that began to quiver just slightly. The only reason I wanted him to stop, is because I was getting images of my father in my head. The way Eli was holding me was the way my father touched me, his lips, his soft breathing against my flesh.

I squeezed my eyes shut and sniffled, feeling the tears begin to weld behind my tightly closed eyes. I heard shuffling and Eli was soon standing behind me. He whispered, "I'm sorry… I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable… I'm sorry Clare." I could hear the pain in his voice, and I turned around, slowly opening my eyes to him.

My heart dropped into my stomach when I noticed that his eyes were glassy. I lowered my gaze and bit the inside of my cheeks, and choke on the uncontrollable sob that escaped my lips. Eli reached up and cupped my face, and whispered, "I'm sorry, Clare I'm sorry – don't cry please." I walked towards him and Eli wrapped his arms around my shoulders. I cried silently in his shoulder and wrapped my arms around his slender waist.

Eli whispered softly, "Don't cry, please don't… I won't do it again—

"No, no Eli," I pulled away to look at him. The pained look on his face hurt me internally, but I sighed shakily and continued, "It wasn't your fault… it was mine…"

I moved away from him and moved to sit on the steps. Eli followed and kept his distance as he took a seat next to me. I turned to him and whispered, "Eli, I have something I want to tell you." Eli blinked a few times and nodded slowly. I reached up to clutch my chest through my clothing, and closed my eyes. I dropped my hand and Eli took it in his. I watched as he slowly laced our fingers together. I looked into his eyes, and spilled everything, my emotions getting the better of me.

"Eli, I started freaking out when you were touching me before because," I took a deep breath; "Eli, I got nervous and scared because… Eli my father _rapes_ me." I pulled my hand from his, and buried my face in my hands and began sobbing uncontrollably. My body was quivering, shaking uncontrollably as I continued to cry relentlessly.

"Clare." Eli whispered. He grasped my hands and pulled them away from my face. Eli cupped my face and kissed my tears away. I whimpered and closed my eyes. He pulled away and wiped my wet cheeks with his thumbs. He whispered, "I didn't know… I'm sorry; I won't do it again okay?" I shook my head and reached up to touch his hands. My heart was practically in my throat, and I had to swallow hard to get the growing lump forced down to my chest.

"Eli, I don't mind it, I just… I'm not going to lie, I will freak out if you touch me s-sexually, but it won't be you… I'm just not used to it… I've always been – I've never—

"You've never experienced in a way that can be enjoyed." Eli responded.

I nodded and looked away, feeling completely embarrassed and disgusting. I couldn't look at Eli. The look he gave me made my chest hurt, and my stomach sick. It feels like I did something wrong for telling him. Eli pulled me to him, and wrapped his arms around my waist, causing me to fall against his chest. I smiled and closed my eyes. He rubbed my back and I moved so I was sitting between his legs. Eli's body heat consumed me and I sighed, content with how I was feeling right now. His heartbeat was slow and fast, at the same time.

"Clare… you don't have to worry, I will never force myself on you, and I will never hurt you. If – If we're alone, just trust me that I will never make you think that it's your father on you… it's going to be me all the time. Do you trust me?" Eli pulled away and I looked up at him. His green eyes shown with sincerity, and I smiled and nodded, moving up so I could kiss him softly.

I felt him smile in the kiss and I deepened it by moving my lips over his, and shyly pushing my tongue between his lips. I smiled softly hearing him moan in his throat. Eli reached up and cupped my face while his tongue moved slowly against mine. I had somehow forgotten that we were kissing in front of the school, but I didn't care, and I don't think Eli did either, because he moved closer to me, crushing his lips harder on mine. I whimpered and he pulled me closer to him so my shoulder was pressed against his chest.

Eli wrapped his arms around my waist, and kissed me slowly.

I understand now why people say kissing is "the greatest thing ever". Kissing Eli was relaxing, and he knew just what to do to make my skin crawl, my spine tingle, and my heart rate to pick up. I pulled away, leaving our lips to graze each other's.

Eli was breathing heavily, and I reached up and ran my fingers through his soft hair, and then over the stiches on the back of his head. Eli's breath hitched and he closed his eyes. I kissed his forehead, his cheeks, his nose, and then the corners of his lips.

"Clare, I think I should take you home now." Eli whispered.

"I don't want to go home." I pouted.

Eli's eyes flickered open and I pouted. He smirked and placed a chaste kiss over my lips.

"Seriously, I don't want to get you in trouble." Eli said.

"Okay." I frowned and got up, as well as Eli. He opened the door for me, and I climbed in, moving straight to the middle of the seats, and at the same time, fastening my seatbelt, while Eli walked around and climbed into the driver's seat. As he turned the ignition on, I leaned into him, placing my head on his shoulder, and he kissed the top of my head. I didn't want this day to end, I was too happy and I knew that once Eli drops me off, I was going to miss him more than ever, even if he lives in front of me.

Eli turned the radio on, and lowered the music.

"Oh! I love this song!" I squeaked, playfully slapping Eli's hand so he wouldn't change the station.

"What is this song?" He asked. From the tone in his voice, I could tell he wasn't too intrigued to listen to it.

"Just listen to it, it's really good, you'll like it." I assured him.

Eli nodded and we were both silent. I listened to the lyrics of the song, and softly sang along to it. Eli took my hand in his and kissed the palm. He whispered, "It's not my type of music, but I like it… Clare you never told me you could sing." I blushed and looked away.

"I'm—I'm not that great." I whispered.

"Clare, your voice is amazing." Eli argued.

I smiled and placed a kiss on his cheek. Eli asked, "What is the name of this song?"

"Breathe In, Breathe Out by Mat Kearney." I responded.

"Okay." Eli responded.

I wanted to ask him what exactly he was planning because he had a smirk on his lips, but before I could, the hearse came into a complete stop, and I realized that we had stopped in front of my house. I frowned and said, "Well, we should do this again." Eli smiled and turned to me saying, "Yeah, I agree, do you want me to walk you to the door?" I nodded and Eli opened the door and I slid out through the driver's side. We both walked to the front door, and the porch light flicked on, which meant that someone was awake; I hoped it would be my mother. Eli and I hugged and he kissed my cheek before walking down the three steps, and headed to his car so he could park it in his driveway. I twisted the doorknob, and smiled lightly when I realized that it was unlocked. When I stepped inside, and shut the door behind me – locking it as well – the living room light turned on, and I was staring into the eyes of my parents.

"It's about time you came home." My father growled.

"Y-yeah, sorry, I'm going to bed now, I'll talk to you guys tomorrow."

"No you won't, get your ass back here!" He shouted.

I turned around and pulled on the skin of the inside of my bottom lip. Dad got up as well as my mother. My mother said, "Clare it's almost midnight, why couldn't you come in a little sooner?" I shrugged my shoulders and said, "I lost track of time."

"Lost track of time my ass." Dad responded.

"I did lose track of time, if you don't like my answer then deal with it! Now, I'm going to bed, leave me alone." I turned around and started walking up the steps, at the same time the hair on the back of my head was pulled, and I was yanked down the three steps I walked up. I screamed in pain and landed on my back, my father's body towering over mine.

"Randall! Don't start now, she's learned her lesson!" Mom shouted.

"No she hasn't! She needs to learn to respect her elders!" He shouted back, shoving my mother away causing her to stumble back. I was pulled up and looking straight into my dad's intimidating eyes. His hand came out and landed across my cheek, a loud smacking sound came after, the burning pain came after that, and the tears fell in the end. Daddy pulled away and I held my cheek as I slowly walked upstairs muttering, "Good night."

"Randall you didn't have to hit her!" Mom shouted.

"Helen, just shut up! Clare deserves to get hit; she needs to learn to respect people! You need to learn how to take charge Helen; you're too soft with that brat." Daddy shouted in return.

I stood at the top of the stairs, leaning against the wall with tears pouring down my cheeks. Sniffling lightly, I continued my way to my room to get ready for bed.

…

…

…

…

"Did you have fun?"

"Yeah mom, I had fun."

"That's good, your father asked about you today."

"He did, what for?" I asked, not the slightest bit of amused. Mom walked into the living room where I sat and placed a hand on my damp hair and then moved it down to my shoulder. I looked over at her and she smiled softly at me, giving me a sympathetic look. I sighed and asked, "What did he ask about me?" She smiled wide and responded, "He asked how you were doing and that he would like to spend some time with you tomorrow."

I tried my hardest not to laugh, but I nodded nonetheless. I yawned and said, "I'm going to bed."

"Will you think about tomorrow?" Mom asked as I made my way into the hallway.

"Yeah, I'll think about it." I lied.

She shouted goodnight, and I waved my response, and headed into my room. After I pushed the door open, I heard the sound of my phone going off, signaling that I had a new text message. I looked around, trying to find my phone, and soon found it the pile of clothes that I wore today. I picked up my phone and walked to the door, shutting it, and locking it. The second I flicked my light off, my phone started going off again, and I walked to my bed and crawled under the sheets, while opening my missed text messages and reading them, both from Clare.

**Hey Eli, I was just wondering if um, you had some time to talk before you went to bed  
—Clare**

**I guess you're sleeping; I'll talk to you tomorrow…  
—Clare**

I quickly responded to Clare's text, telling her that I'm awake and that yes I could talk. Judging from the desperation in Clare's words, I'm guessing something happen with her parents. Before I could get a text back, I quickly set my phone to vibrate so it wouldn't make so much noise. Just then, Clare sent me a text and I quickly read it.

**Eli, I wish you were here right now… I really need you to hold me  
—Clare**

I pinned my eyebrows together and sent her a text back; _Clare, what's wrong? What happened? _I closed my phone and after about two minutes, I expected Clare to text me back, but instead I was getting a call from her.

"Hello?"

**"Eli! Hey, w-what's up?"** Clare asked.

"Clare, what's wrong?" I asked, hearing her voice cracking on the other end. She sniffled and I could hear her softly crying. I waited for her to respond, but she had started to cry harder, sobbing silently. I whispered, "Clare, please tell me what's wrong… don't cry please. I hate to hear you cry." Clare sniffled and she whimpered softly. I waited patiently for her to respond, and soon enough I heard her weak voice whisper, **"My father hit me when I got home."**

"What the hell for?" I growled.

**"He s-said that I need to learn to respect the elders, and that I needed to come back home a little sooner than midnight."** Clare responded.

I frowned, so I got her in trouble… I lay in my bed looking up at the ceiling, my phone still pressed against my ear, and silence befell the two of us. I didn't know what to say. All I know is that it was my fault she got in trouble. I sighed and whispered, "Clare I'm sorry… I should've brought you home sooner… It's my fault." Clare gasped and protested, **"No Eli, it wasn't you fault! Don't blame yourself for my mistake."** I frowned and closed my eyes.

**"Eli, it's not your fault, I promise."**

"And it's not yours either." I responded. Clare sniffled and I sat up in my bed, scratching the back of my neck. Clare was silent on the other end and I cleared my throat and suggested that Clare get some sleep. She was still silent on the other end, and I began to worry. For about five minutes Clare was silent, but I could hear her breathing. She probably fell asleep. I smirked a little and whispered good night, and closed my phone, and then placed it on the nightstand. I crawled under the sheets and yawned before closing my eyes and drifting off to sleep.

…

…

The next morning I woke up, looking straight at my digital alarm clock. It was a little bit passed twelve. I sat up and nearly fell off my bed when I noticed my dad standing awkwardly at the foot of my bed. My heart presumed beating and I gasped, "Dad! What the hell are you doing?" He flashed me a smile and said, "We're going out today, get dressed." I watched him limp slightly out of my room and I reached up and moved my hair away from my face.

What the hell!

Then, I remembered my mom telling me that dad wanted to spend some time with me today. I groaned and kicked the sheets of my body, before slowly and lazily dragging my feet across the carpet to my bathroom. I turned the faucet on, and splashed some water on my face, trying to actually wake up. I brushed my teeth after, and walked into my room, grabbing some clothes. I needed to do laundry; the only jeans I had left were my favorite dark red skinnies. I quickly pulled them on, and then grabbed a black t-shirt and threw it on.

I walked out of my room and into the kitchen where my mom and dad were.

"Good afternoon Eli." Mom said.

"Yeah." I muttered.

I sat down in one of the empty chairs, and dad said, "We're going out of town for a few hours." I nodded.

"What are we going to do out of town?"

"We're going to get you a new car."

I nearly choked on my spit.

"Excuse me?"

"Yeah, you've been having trouble with Morty lately, so, I figured we get you a new car." Dad said as he took a sip of his coffee. I looked up at my mom, making sure I heard right, and she nodded with a small smile. I swallowed hard and said, "What kind of car? Will it be used?" Dad shook his head and answered, "Nope, it's going to be new." I tried not to show that I was extremely excited. Don't get me wrong, I am excited, but I'm a little upset, because Morty was my first car, and I love him to death, but a new car means less hassles, and I don't have to use my mother's car when he breaks down.

"Okay." I smiled faintly.

"Oh good! Your father and I argued this morning about how you were going to say no." Mom and dad laughed, and I snickered and got up to go to my room and get my shoes. I grabbed my phone at the same time after finding my shoes. While walking back to the living room, my dad was standing and waiting for me to get my shoes on. Since I was anxious, I had the hardest time trying to tie a knot. I growled and my dad said while laughing, "Elijah calm down." I glared at him playfully and soon finished tying my shoes.

Dad and I walked out of the front door, and I climbed into his white pickup truck. He turned the ignition on and lowered the music before it started blasting through the speakers. I fastened my seat belt and started to look through my phone, making sure I didn't have any missed calls or texts from Clare, or any of my other friends. Adam sent me a text around nine asking if I wanted to hang out later tonight, to stay the night at his place. The offer was tempting, but I'm still not going to sleep in the same room with him, not even the same room, if I was sleeping in the living room, I still wouldn't sleep near him. Adam is my friend, I do love him, but I don't trust him anymore.

"Your mom told me you went on a double date last night, how was it?" Dad asked.

"It was good; we went to see Black Swan." I responded while closing my phone.

"That's good." He responded.

I nodded and looked out the window.

"So, you should invite Clare over for dinner sometime." Dad said. I glanced over at him; he was looking straight at the road, not bothering to take a glance at me. I didn't mean to say it, but I stated, "It depends, are you going to be drunk and call her a bitch this time." Dad looked over at me with a sad expression on his face and he shook his head.

"Of course not… Eli I won't let something like that happen again." Dad responded.

"I'll believe it when I see it." I responded nonchalantly.

"I promise you Eli, things are going to be different from now on." He flashed me a smile.

I swallowed the lump in my throat and sighed softly. I looked out the window and heard my father sigh.

"I hope you mean it…" I whispered.

No matter how many times my father told me he's going to change, and the many times that he's fucked up, he seemed sincere about it this time, so I figured I'd give him a chance and trust him. Maybe sending him to the hospital made him think. I hope so, because to be honest, I hate to fight with my family, especially if it gets physical… I hope it will get better…

End of Chapter 19

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Ehh, not too sure on how this came out :( I didn't like it, maybe because it was hard for me to write. Really hard for me to write to be completely honest. Anyway, I'm sure you guys will think otherwise haha. So, reviews?

Oh and I have a little announcement, a Private Messenger asked that I make a song list for Alibis, basically the songs that I think would fit for the story (and she asked to put the songs that I listen to to type up the chapters) I have no idea why, but haha, I have a list on my profile, feel free to check them out. I'm glad you guys are loving this story! The next chapter will be posted next week. I think I'm going to be updating weekly, I want to claim Thursdays, but I'm not too sure that having a deadline is good for me. We'll just see how it goes, so far I think I've been posting on Thursdays, so for now, I might claim Thursdays :D Anyhoo, again, reviews are great! I love reviews!

Goodbye for now! *hearts*

Oh and before I forget, keep on a look out for my Valentines Day one-shot. It will be so fluffy you will die from it! Not, really ._. but yeah. It's going to be a fluffy one-shot, maybe a smutty one-shot, depends on how I'm feeling ;) *winkwinknudgenudge*


	20. just trust me

Disclaimer: Degrassi is something I don't own, sadly… I do own Eli's five year old cousin though, Maureen.

A/N: Thank you so much for the reviews! Most of you were upset because Eli will be getting rid of Morty, lawl, do you think I'm that mean? Of course I wouldn't get rid of Morty. Morty is his best friend. I'm not going to ditch Morty, are you crazy o.O LOL. And the thing about Eli not showing much emotion about finding out that Clare gets raped by her father, there is a reason why he didn't react much to it. You'll find out that later. I'm not going to leave you guys hanging, you will find out why later.

While, I'm rambling, I might as well answer some questions from fellow PM's.

_1. Why doesn't Eli like to eat, and why does he always throw up everything he eats?_ Well, Eli has an eating disorder, it was kind of point blank obvious. He's anorexic and a bulimic; Eli can only eat certain foods, nothing fast food, except for pizza. Home cook meals are okay with him, but it's mostly burgers he can't eat, or fries. Since he's so used to making himself throw up, almost everything that he eats, his body will reject it and make him sick automatically. He's a really picky eater.

_2. Will there be a sequel following Alibis, if you answered this already, I'm sorry for asking again, but I would like to know_. Yes, there will be a sequel following after Alibis. Since Alibis' current setting is in the summer, the next story will be Clare's first year at Degrassi, with Eli of course.

_3. You always mention KC, will he be showing up in this story? And when?_ Yes, KC will be showing up and it will be soon, and you get to find out soon what happened between him and Clare.

_4. Will Eli and Clare open up to each other more?_ Yes, I can't say much more, because I would only be spoiling the story. I hope I answered all your questions, and if you have more, please… feel free to ask and I'll answer them as well as possible.

Warnings: Who's ready for a little fun time? ;) Haha, do **_NOT_** get your hopes up; it's not what you think.

* * *

Alibis

Summary: Waiting for change to lead him down a more innocent path, death obsessed Elijah Goldsworthy finds it in a blue eyed beauty, but perhaps with an even darker past than his own.

* * *

CHAPTER 20

"Do you like this car? It's a Cadillac."

"Dad, I'm not too fond of the SUV's, I kind of… don't like any of these cars, and I think I want to stick with Morty." I responded. My father looked up from the car he was looking at and his lip twitched. I frowned, knowing all too well that when his bottom lip twitched, he was immediately angry. I swallowed hard and stepped away from the car.

"That's okay; I can always get you something else. Is there something you want, like a new laptop, or maybe a new phone?" Dad asked as he walked by me. I stood staring at nothing, wondering if I was hearing correctly. I know my dad is trying to show me that he's changing, but spending that much money on me isn't right. It's like he's trying to buy my trust… using money and buying me useless things to prove that he's trying to change. Well, to be honest, I don't work that way. It's either you show it to me a proper way, or get lost.

I'm not spoiled.

I don't need anything new, as long as it works, I'm fine.

"Eli!"

I turned around and noticed that my dad was halfway across the lot; I quickly turned around and sprinted across the lot and headed to him. We both walked to his pickup truck and quickly climbed in. Dad turned the ignition on and he asked after clearing his throat, "So, what would you like to do now? Are you hungry? We can grab a bite before we head home, maybe check on what's going on with Morty." I nodded and fastened my seatbelt while he drove away from the lot.

We were both silent; I reached into my pocket when I felt my phone vibrate quickly. I smiled a little when I read the text that Clare sent me.

**I miss you so much Eli! What are you up to?  
—Clare**

I quickly responded to her text still smiling; _I hanging out with my dad. I miss you so much too, Clare._ I closed my phone and glanced over at my dad and he turned to look at me when he caught me glancing at him. He figured I was talking to Clare because he gave me that smirk, and I only rolled my eyes. I looked down at my phone, waiting for it to vibrate, signaling that I had a new message from Clare. Dad interrupted my thoughts saying, "So, are you hungry?" I was about to say no, but my stomach growled, and I cleared my throat.

"Yes." He said as he pulled into the nearest fast food restaurant.

"I'll just get some fries or something, I'm not that hungry."

When my phone began to vibrate, I quickly flipped my phone open and quickly read the text.

**Oh, do you want me to talk to you later? I don't want to interrupt you and your time with your dad  
—Clare**

I considered the suggestion. But, I didn't want to talk to her later. My father and I are hardly talking, so why should she leave. I was about to respond, but I had received another text from Clare, making me narrow my eyes and my eyebrow twitched as if I were annoyed. I read it and my lips curled up into a half smile, half smirk.

**Seriously, you spend some time with your dad, just text me when you're done. I have to give Beauty a bath anyway, I'll talk to you later Elijah :)  
–Clare **

I closed my phone and placed it in my pocket. When I looked up my dad was already getting our greasy food, and pulling out of the drive through. He drove up to an empty parking space, and we sat there while he pulled out some fries and handed them to me. I took them and glanced at stole a glance from him. He was pigging out, and I didn't want to disappoint him and not eat. I pulled the smallest fry I could grab, and took a bite from it. I tried not to grimace from the horrible taste. Fast food always made me sick… all the time, and it had so much fat in it, I don't understand how mom and dad could eat this stuff.

"You hardly said a word all day Eli." Dad said while he took a sip of his soda and then placed it back in the cup holder.

I shrugged my shoulders and slowly put another fry into my mouth.

"Is something wrong?" He asked.

Sure, I'm hanging out with someone who put me in the hospital a few days ago. I'm perfect…

"No, I'm fine, just thinking." I responded.

"About?"

God, can you stop asking questions! It's not really your business is it? Ugh…

"Just, stuff." I responded. Dad nodded and sighed lightly as he took a bite of his burger. I grimaces, watching the grease dribble down his chin, and he reached up and wiped it away with his sleeve. I swallowed hard and continued to eat in silence. I could barely eat more because I could already feel my body begin to reject what I was eating. I set them aside.

"Are you not going to eat those?" Dad asked.

"No, they make me sick." I muttered while looking out the window.

"Since when do fries make you sick?" He laughed.

"Since I said a long time ago that fast food makes me sick." I responded quickly while turning my attention to him. He nodded and said, "Well, we can always get some stuff from the store and have your mother make you something to eat. It's no big deal." He grabbed the small container of fries and threw them inside the bag. I tried to see if he was angry or not, showing any sign of annoyance or anger, but I didn't see anything. I sucked on my bottom lip and bit down on it.

My dad had soon finished eating and started to pull out of the parking space, and drive towards the exit leading into the high way. I held my stomach, feeling it churn and clench. I felt like I was going to be sick. Even if it was just a few fries that I ate, it still made my stomach sick.

"Dad pull over." I groaned.

"Why?" He glanced at me and I covered my mouth, feeling nauseated. Dad quickly pulled over and I opened the door, and almost fell out of the truck as I toppled over and had thrown up the few fries that I ate. I heard the car door slam, and my dad was soon standing next to me, while I stood crouched over, breathing heavily, waiting to empty out my stomach again. I gagged and squeezed my eyes shut, feeling tears begin to form; dry heaving was so painful.

"Are you okay?" He asked, holding up the half empty cup of soda in his hand to me.

I stood up straight and wiped the corner of my mouth, and then took the cup, wrapping my lips around the straw and taking a few sips, in attempt to remove this nasty bile taste out of my mouth, if I didn't get it out, I would probably end up throwing up again.

"Let's get you home." He said. I nodded and climbed into the passenger seat, and then pulled the small lever, and reclined the passenger seat. I didn't bother in fastening my seat belt, because all I wanted to do was lay down. I turned to my side and held my stomach. It was hurting really bad now. Dad turned the radio on, leaving the volume low – which was good, because I wasn't entirely in the mood to be listening to old Rock music. It's not that I hated it; I'm just more of a modern day Rock person – I opened my eyes and stared at the car door, sighing heavily.

…

…

"Oh my – what happened!" Mom shrieked when she walked out of the kitchen holding a dishrag. I walked into the living room, my face completely white. I think I actually caught something, because I still felt very sick, and I had the worse body aches ever. My mom walked to me and she sat down on the couch right after I laid down on it. She placed a hand over my forehead and frowned. I looked up at her through half lidded eyes and groaned.

"Eli, you're running a fever." Mom said.

"No shit Sherlock." I responded sarcastically.

"I'll get you a Seven Up; I went shopping while you guys went out." Mom said. She got up from the couch and my dad came walking through the front door. He stood in the place where the coffee table used to sit, and asked if I needed anything – a pillow and a blanket would be nice.

"Can you get my pillow and my blanket please?" I stated.

He nodded and walked to my room. I shifted on the couch, and pulled my phone out, and set it beside me. My mom came back, holding a glass filled up to the top with Seven Up and ice. I sat up and grabbed the glass, muttering my thanks before I took a few sips of it, and my dad walked back into the living room. I placed the glass down on the floor, while he set the pillow against the arm rest of the couch, and I lay back on it, and then snatched the blanket from his hands, and covered myself.

"Eli, what happened?" Mom asked.

"I don't know, dad and I went to eat, and then after I ate I got sick." I responded.

"Do you think it's food poisoning?" She asked.

I shrugged and curled up on the couch. I wanted to just lie here, and relax, and my mom asking me too many questions wasn't helping me get some rest. Mom ruffled my hair and she moved into the kitchen, my father followed her and I shifted on the couch, keeping the covers tightly wrapped around me. Against my chest, I could feel my phone vibrating; I didn't want to answer it, because instead of a text, I was receiving a call.

I let it go straight to voice mail; it was probably Adam or Clare. As much as I wanted to talk to her, I would rather sleep right now; I wasn't in the mood to talk to anybody right now. Just as I was beginning to relax, the house phone started to ring – it rang like three times before my mom answered it.

"Eli is sleeping – yeah he caught something and is a little under the weather – okay, I'll tell him you called. Bye," my mom walked into the living room and whispered as she sat down next to me, "Adam called for you, and he said he wanted you to call him when you're feeling a little better." I nodded and grabbed my phone from under the sheets. Mom walked back into the kitchen and began fixing dinner.

I wasn't going to call Adam though. I told Clare that I would talk to her after I hung out with my dad, so I'm going to text her really quickly; _hey, are you doing anything right now?_

I waited patiently for Clare to text me back, which wasn't a moment sooner.

**Just thinking about you ;)  
–Clare **

I smiled at how cute she could be, grabbed my glass and took a sip of my drink and then text her back; _can you come over and keep me company?_

Clare texted me back quicker than I thought, with an urgent question asking if I were okay. I laughed weakly and sent her a response; _I'm fine, I'm just sick and I want to see you :'( Will you keep me company?_

My phone went off and I flipped it open.

**Yes, of course I will, I'll be right there  
—Clare **

I sighed in relief and closed my phone, setting it on the floor. While reaching to grab my drink, I sat up to take a sip, and then my doorbell rang. My father came walking out of the kitchen, waving his hands, flicking water everywhere. I flinched when a drop landed in my eye. He opened the door, and the look on Clare's face made me laugh. She looked ready to jump ten feet in the air. Dad said, "Clare, come on in. I'm guessing you're here to see Eli?" He stepped aside and Clare nervously nodded, twiddling her fingers together as she walked inside.

When she spotted me on the couch, Clare pinned her eyebrows together and smiled a little. She walked to me and sat next to me on the couch; I grabbed her hand and interlaced our fingers together.

"Poor Eli." She said, mockingly.

"Clare I'm not dying." I chuckled.

"Well, you look dead." She joked.

I rolled my eyes and looked next to me, noticing that my dad had scurried off into the kitchen, helping my mom. Clare stared down at me, frowning. I looked at her confusedly and asked, "What's wrong?" She shook her head and reached up to touch my face. Clare whispered, "You're so pale, Eli. What happened? You were fine yesterday." I reached around her to grab my glass from the floor, and sat up on the couch, taking a sip.

"I got sick after I ate some fries from a fast food restaurant, my mom thinks it's food poisoning." I responded with a shrug. Clare nodded and she turned around, craning her neck, and glanced over at the kitchen. She turned back to look at me and giggled. My eyebrows disappeared under my bangs and I looked at her curiously. Clare placed her hand directly on the middle of my chest, and leaned down to kiss me. The kiss was simple, and I suddenly felt so much better. She pulled away and I looked into her entrancing blue eyes.

Clare smiled and before I could say anything, my dad and mom walked into the living room, both smiling wide.

"Can I help you?" I asked.

"Well, it looks like you're feeling better, Elijah." Mom smiled.

I lowered my gaze and cleared my throat, making Clare giggle. Mom said, "Well Clare, dinner should be ready in about an hour, you're welcome to join us, if Eli hadn't told you yet." Clare switched glances between my mom and me. I smiled sheepishly and she responded, "Um, I would've worn different clothes if I knew I was going to get invited to dinner."

"Oh, honey, please, you look fine. Shorts and a long sleeved t-shirt is comfort clothing, besides, it's not like we're asking you to dress up like a princess." Mom laughed.

Clare smiled and I sat up, placing my chin on her shoulder.

"Well, anyway, your father and I would like to have the T.V. and seeing as you are pretty active than you were when you arrived, would you mind taking Clare to the spare room and you guys can watch T.V. there. I blinked a few times and responded, "Why can't we stay here? I don't want to move." I fell back on the couch, refusing to get up and Clare just nervously chewed on her bottom lip, contemplating on what to do.

"Come on, Eli." My mom started to whine.

I sighed and removed the blanket, tugging slightly on it since Clare was sitting on it. She got up and muttered "sorry" while her cheeks turned red. I got up from the couch, and got down to pick up my half empty glass. My mom was right; I do feel a little bit better than I did before. I'd have to mentally thank Seven Up for it's amazing "miracle."

My mom took the glass from me, and I grabbed my pillow and blanket, and led Clare to my room. The spare room was the place where my drum set is, there's only three T.V's in this house, the one in the living room, my room, and my parents' bedroom, which I refused to go into. I then realized that this was going to be the second time Clare would be in my room. The first time was a few weeks ago when she was checking up on me, for disappearing after she asked me about her dog.

I froze, standing in the middle of my room as Clare walked around and sat down at the edge of my bed.

I licked my lips subconsciously, and looked around nervously.

"Eli?" She asked, confusion and worry in her tone.

"Huh?" I shook my head from my thoughts. Clare blinked up at me in slight surprise and I had to refrain myself from pouncing on her for being so damn cute. She got up and placed her hands on my shoulders and looked up at me with those blue eyes that I absolutely love. I cleared my throat and sat down on the bed, she joined me, after I closed the door to my room.

"How are things at home?" I asked.

"Oh, they're um… they're okay." Clare responded.

"I… when you told me last night that your father _rapes_ you, Clare I didn't know how to react, so that's why I was quiet…" I whispered.

Clare touched my hand and she leaned in and placed a kiss on my cheek. She responded softly, "Eli it's fine… I don't expect people to get a huge reaction from it. I'm used to it." I turned to face her and she pressed her lips to a small line and shrugged her shoulder. I looked away and balled my hands up into fists. I figured that if she opened up to me, sharing something so dark, I could do the same… right? I trust Clare, and I think she has to know.

"Clare, I have something I want to tell you." I moved back so I was sitting in the middle of my bed, and sat cross legged, Clare scooted closer to me and the look on her face shown with curiosity. I stammered, "U-um, you remember Jenna right," Clare nodded, "I um… I want to let you know what happened between me and her, so that way if you hear it from someone else, then, you'll know ahead of time. See, to um, make a long story short… we were dating and well, we decided to take it to the next level. We ended up having sex, and the next day I found out that she had… she um…" I clenched my fist and Clare placed a hand over my arm, rubbing it soothingly.

"Eli, you don't have to tell me about her, she's ancient history, right?" Clare said.

I glanced over at her and frowned.

"Well yeah… but I mean… I don't want to keep anything from you." I whispered, bowing my head, and hiding my face with my hair.

Clare scooted closer to me, and she lifted my chin, and removed my hair from my face and kissed the corner of my lips.

"Eli, what's in the past is in the past—

"She taped me and her having sex, Clare…" I interrupted her. Clare's face dropped and I looked away, practically feeling ashamed. Clare turned me to look at her, and she stated, "Eli, there's nothing to feel bad about."

"I'm just… I'm scared that if… you and I—

"Eli, I would _never_ do something so horrible to you." Clare cut in. I smiled and little and licked my lips. Clare kissed me and I gladly responded, pressing my lips more firmly over hers. Clare whimpered and I smirked in the kiss before pulling away. We stared into each other's eyes for what seemed like forever, but it didn't take us long to start kissing again. It was a little bit uncomfortable for me, so I moved to my side, and brought Clare with me. Clare seemed a bit hesitant, but just went with the flow. She moved closer to me as I licked and sucked on her bottom lip, trying to get her to open her mouth.

"E-Eli," Clare pulled away, and I noticed that she had a red tint on her cheeks, "I'm a little nervous." She whispered. I nodded curtly, remembering that she told me she would freak out if I did something that reminded her of her father. I kissed her forehead and whispered, "Just trust me." Clare slowly opened her eyes and she nodded, her tongue peaked out and licked the corner of her bottom lip.

I smiled reassuringly, because I know Clare was still scared, but I'm going to do my best to make her realize that she won't have to be afraid, that it's always going to be me with her, and not her father. I leaned forward and pressed my lips against her forehead again, and then her eyelids, which fluttered closed and twitched under my touch. Clare gasped as I moved my lips all over her flawless face, and finally after kissing her cheekbones, I planted a firm kiss over her quivering lips.

Clare moved closer to me again, and this time her leg fell between mine, so we can be a lot closer, her chest was pressed against mine. I moved my hand down the long sleeve of her loose black t-shirt, and brought it up to the middle of our chests, and interlaced our fingers together. Clare opened her mouth and I slowly slipped my tongue into her mouth, and coaxed her tongue to play around with mine.

She soon responded, and kissed me back.

Our tongues wrestled, battling in a game of dominance; surprisingly Clare won, but I didn't care. We pulled away, our lips barely touching and we were both breathing heavily. I could feel her lips curl up into a small smile, and she opened her eyes. I suddenly forgot how to breathe, having to look in her eyes and notice how dark they are. I leaned in and placed a kiss on the side of her jawbone, and she stiffened. I whispered, "It's okay, it's just me." She nodded and whimpered as I showered small kisses all around her neck, nipping gently on the skin – not enough to give her a hickey, but enough for her to feel it – and then trailed my lips back up to a small spot behind her ear; I was rewarded with a small moan when I kissed that spot. I moved back, and she stared at me, and –if it were possible – her pupils dilated more, leaving a thin ring of blue around them.

Clare removed her hand from mine, and placed it against the side of my neck and what she did next startled me; she placed a kiss on the other side of my neck, just below my jawline. I licked my lips and swallowed hard as her lips moved to the pulsing vein on my neck, which was beating rapidly. Clare whispered against my skin, "Are you nervous?"

"Wh-why do you ask that?" I asked, mentally cursing at myself for stuttering, giving a sign that yes, I was nervous.

"Your heart is beating really fast against your chest," She placed a hand on my chest, "and the vein in your neck is pulsing rapidly too." Clare pulled her lips from my neck and I almost whimpered from the loss.

"Maybe you make me nervous, _Clare_." I purred, making her blush appear back on her face. I love it when she blushes; it makes her that much cuter.

"Well, am I doing a good job at it?" She responded.

"Seems to be working." I leaned in and kissed her lips, cupping her cheek in the process. Clare smiled in the kiss and I smirked.

"Kids, dinner is ready!"

The door to my room flew open, and Clare and I quickly pulled away. Mom laughed nervously and said, "Sorry, um, dinner is ready, come out when you guys are ready to eat." I smiled and watched her leave. Clare's face fell on my pillow and she said something along the lines of "oh my god, I can't believe that happened." I chuckled, and soon started laughing.

"What's so funny?" She asked.

"Nothing, your facial reaction was just priceless." Clare stuck her tongue out at me, and I got up from the bed and Clare followed. She stood next to me and looked me in the eyes. Clare smiled and stated, "Well, the color in your face is back." I blinked a few times and said, "Clare that was random?"

"Just stating the obvious." She shrugged and kissed my cheek, before I led her out of my room and into the dining room, where my mom had place four plates on the table, and the meal as well. I grimaced, I was really fond of lasagna, the Swiss cheese always made my stomach ache, it's not my favorite thing to eat really. Clare sat down as I pulled the chair back for her, and I took my seat next to her. My mom served herself and dad some, while I waited to serve Clare some as well.

Once my mom was finished she handed me the large spoon, and I grabbed Clare's plate.

"Is this too much?" I asked, while taking a large amount from the corner of the dish.

"No, that's fine." Clare smiled. I nodded and placed it on her plate, and then handed it to her. Clare took her fork and immediately started eating, while I served myself a small amount.

The dinner of course was a little bit quiet; there was an awkward tension in the air.

"So, Eli did you find a car of your liking?" Mom asked.

"Huh? Oh, no… I decided to stick with Morty." I responded while picking at the meat that fell out of the layered mess of cheese and noodles.

"I figured." Mom chuckled.

"Morty?" Clare asked.

"It's the name of his hearse." Dad joined in.

"Nice name." She said approvingly. I smiled and forked some of the lasagna in my mouth, chewing slowly on it.

The rest of the dinner was eaten in silence, with the occasional exchanging of words between my parents and Clare, asking her how her family life is, and all that other stuff. Of course, Clare had to lie and tell them everything is okay, which she and I both know that it wasn't. Even though it was quiet, I loved the fact that they seemed to enjoy each other's company. I thought it was pleasant. Unfortunately, I had to walk Clare home now, since she said she had to go home around five, and it's five minutes until then.

I walked out of the front door, following after Clare, and we walked across the lawn, hand in hand.

"So, I'll call you later." Clare turned to me once we stood on the front porch, in front of the door.

"Okay." I smiled crookedly at her.

Clare got up on her tip toes, and kissed me softly. She pulled back and smiled back at me before she entered her house. I turned tail and walked back to my house. When I walked inside, I told my parents that I was going to jump into the shower really quick, because while Clare was waiting at the door earlier, they told me that they wanted to talk. I walked into my room, and shut the door behind me, standing in the middle again. I stared at my bed and smiled. I miss her so much, and she just left.

I suddenly started thinking about the conversation Adam and I had a few weeks ago about me loving Clare.

I wondered if it were too soon to tell her straight forward that I love her.

I know I do, I think she does too, I hope she does, otherwise me telling her and getting the wrong response would probably be the most awkward, heartbreaking moment of my life…

End of Chapter 20

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Okay, I know I said I was going to claim Thursdays, buuuut, I realized that waiting a week to update would probably kill me and you. I believe my updating moments are probably like after three or four days, I will post. Yes? Sounds good? Okay. Anyway, leave me some lovely reviews! Happy Valentine's Day to all my lovely fans! Oh and those of you who want to have some sneak peaks a.k.a TEASERS follow me on Twitter; ZephyrHearts. Anyway, that's all I have to say. Oh, and another thing, the whole thing about food poisoning, I know it doesn't last for like what, thirty minutes or so, so don't remind me! D:

Goodbye for now!

I hope you enjoyed this chapter! The next chapter will be centered on Clare's POV, and it will not be pretty, yes, it will be kind bad. Oh and there will be a surprise guest, can you guess who it will be? ;) Don't hate me! *hides from the world for a few days*


	21. dry your eyes, you'll be okay

Disclaimer: Degrassi is something I don't own, sadly… I do own Eli's five year old cousin though, Maureen.

A/N: Okay, so I was seriously convinced that the last chapter sucked… I was a little disappointed by the lack of reviews I got, so I'm hoping you guys aren't getting bored with this story. But, thanks for the reviews nonetheless. Here's chapter 21! Enjoy :) Oh and thanks to LiteraryLolita for clarifying Eli's eating disorder, I'll be sure to change that when I have to time to :)

Warnings: Parental abuse, cutting.

Oh and nice try on the mystery guest; X3

* * *

Alibis

Summary: Waiting for change to lead him down a more innocent path, death obsessed Elijah Goldsworthy finds it in a blue eyed beauty, but perhaps with an even darker past than his own.

* * *

CHAPTER 21

It's been exactly ten minutes since I left Eli's house. I was currently sitting in a tub full of scolding hot water, and bubbles; I wanted some time for myself to relax, and this is the best way I could do it. I slowly opened my eyes and smiled, my thought drifting to Eli. He is such an amazing person. I sighed and closed my eyes, sinking lower into the tub so the water was hitting the back of my neck.

I propped my legs up and looked out the window that I had opened so the steam would exit the bathroom.

After a few moments, I turned my attention to the front of me, and then brought my arms up to my face. The soap suds and water rinsed down my arm and into the water surrounding me. I frowned, eyeing the purple-red ridges on my wrists. No matter if their healed, these cuts are old memories that will never fade away. Each one told a story…

I remember exactly how it went too, for the memories are still vivid in my thoughts, staining my once calm – normal life. I sighed one last time and sat up, letting the water drain out after I pushed the small lever down, opening the drainage. I turned the shower on, and let the hot water soak my hair. I sighed heavily, enjoying the feeling. When I tilted my head back, the water hit my face, making it hot from the heat. It felt really good and I smiled from the sensation.

I quickly washed my hair because the hot water was beginning to run out, since I had used it all in my bath. After thoroughly washing my hair, I washed my body and turned the shower off. I opened the curtain and quickly grabbed my short fluffy white robe, and pulled it on. I didn't feel like getting dressed, because I was going to just lie down and write in my notebook.

The second I got comfortable on my bed, opened my notebook to clean page, and uncapped my pen, there was a few knocks on the door.

"Come in." I stated, looking at the door so I knew who was coming in.

My face lit up just slightly when I watched my sister – who I haven't talked to since that incident she decided to pull about asking how I received more attention to. She walked in and sat down awkwardly on my bed, we stared at each other and I quirked my eyebrows up and shrugged my shoulders, asking her what was up.

"Clare, about the other night… I'm really sorry…" Darcy whispered.

"Don't worry about it." I responded coldly. Darcy apologizing to me was just words. I didn't believe her, and probably never will. She hurt me, emotionally. I needed someone there for me, and all she wanted was to find out why I gotten most attention from the two people I call my mom and dad. Darcy moved closer to me and she placed her hand on mine, clenching it just slightly. I looked down at it and then back up at her.

"Please Clare, I don't know what came over me, when you told me that dad rapes you, I didn't know how to react, I guess you can say I acted like a—

"_Bitch_?" I answered for her.

She nodded and pressed her lips into a line. I swallowed and looked away, moving my wet hair from my face. Darcy continued; "Look, I want you to know that you can talk to me about anything, I want to make it up to you." I glanced at her with the corner of my eye. I didn't say a word though. She sighed, and got up from my bed when I remained silent. I sighed. I'm officially way too soft.

"Wait!" I said. Darcy turned around and I smiled at her and continued; "We can… paint each other's toenails and have a girl's night… I think I saw some popcorn in the pantry earlier, we can watch a movie." Darcy smiled and nodded in approval. She walked to the bed and hugged me tight; I returned it, wrapping my arm around her back.

Darcy took one last look at me before she exits my room, heading down the hall and down the stairs. I got up from my bed and sat down in front of my mirror. As I picked up my pink comb, I started combing it through my slightly knotted hair. I winced a few times, tugging on the strands to untangle them. After I combed my hair, I removed my robe, and quickly pulled on a long sleeved light blue shirt, and a pair of blue and white plaid shorts.

I suddenly remembered that I hadn't seen Beauty in what felt like forever, so I quickly bounced down the stairs, and walked into the living room, finding Darcy sitting on the couch, with someone else. I arched my eyebrow and cleared my throat. When they turned around, I noticed that it was Peter from The Dot.

"Hey uhh… Clare right?" He said.

I nodded and smiled faintly at him.

I continued to walk into the laundry room and opened the door. Beauty's fluffy little head lifted, and she walked to me, wagging her tail. I leaned down and picked her up, and then walked into the living room, setting her down with me on the empty couch adjacent to Peter and Darcy. Beauty lay on her back and I giggled and rubbed her stomach.

"She's a cute dog, Clare."

"Thanks Peter." I smiled while looking down at her. "My boyfriend helped me pick her out." Darcy lifted her head the second I said boyfriend. She smiled stating, "You're dating Eli?"

"I thought I told you." I responded unknowingly.

Darcy shook her head no. I shrugged my shoulders and looked down at Beauty. She moved into my lap and I reached down and passed my hand down from her soft head, to the end of her back. As I watched Darcy and Peter snuggle on the couch, I immediately thought of Eli and couldn't help but feel a little bit jealous. I really missed him, even though we had just seen each other not too long ago.

Seeing as Eli lives across the road from me, you would think I'd be over there constantly, but I think he would want his space, maybe? I wouldn't know. Darcy and Peter started swapping spit in front of me and I grimaced, and picked Beauty up, to walk outside with her. She needed some play time, and it felt as if I hadn't paid much attention to her.

The second I stepped outside, my father's car pulled up into the driveway. I swallowed nervously and walked onto the lawn and sat down, placing Beauty down with me. She pranced around, and my heart started to beat painfully hard in my chest when I noticed my dad walking to me, slowly. It was very creep like if you ask me.

"What are you doing here outside?" He asked.

"What does it look like?" I asked sardonically.

"Don't use that tone with me, Clare." Dad snarled.

"Daddy, I'm playing with Beauty, how's that for an answer?" I looked up at him while Beauty ran around me, tugging on my shorts. I averted my gaze to her and smiled as she gave out a pathetic sounding bark. Dad still stood next to me and I glanced up at him, giving him a questioning look. He rolled his eyes at me and walked inside, leaving me alone outside. Sometimes I wonder that there is something SERIOUSLY wrong with him, oh wait…

I looked up towards Eli's house and noticed how perfect it looked on the outside. Smiling faintly, I glanced down at Beauty and noticed that she was sitting next to me, like she had done too much that worn her out. I rolled my eyes and reached down to pet her. She lifted her head and looked across the road. Her tail started wagging and I glanced up to see what she was looking at. Eli was pacing his front porch, he looked a little disturbed.

I watched him intently, wondering what exactly he was going to do.

Eli clenched his hair in his hands and started walking down the steps of his house, and down the road. He looked really upset…

"Eli!" I called out to him, picked up Beauty and ran to him.

He turned around and I paused, looking into his bloodshot eyes.

"Eli, what's wrong?" I asked, concern filling my tone.

"Nothing, I just… nothing, I'm going to go walk." Eli turned around and left me standing in the middle of the road. I chased after him and stood in front of him. Eli looked down at the small dog in my arms, and then up at me. I smiled faintly at him and Eli sighed and looked away. The smile on my face turned into a frown and with one hand, I reached up to touch his face. Eli looked down, his bangs covered his eyes.

"Eli, what happened? What's wrong? Talk to me, please." I almost begged.

Eli shook his head and said, "It's nothing, I'm fine."

I frowned. Eli walked around me, and I started to think that I had done something wrong. When I turned around, Eli was still walking away from me. I chewed on my quivering bottom lip and lowered my gaze. I upsettingly walked back to my house, but before I entered, I took a glance back at Eli, he was still walking, and he turned around the corner and disappeared from my view. I opened the front door and walked to the laundry room so I could put Beauty to rest.

Slowly, I walked to the stairs, still having thoughts that I had done something wrong to Eli. Before I made my way up them, I stole a glance at Peter and Darcy who were still on the couch; they looked like the perfect couple. There was an unbearable pain in my chest growing, and I quickly bolted up the stairs to my room. I started to breath unevenly, completely convinced that Eli was mad at me.

I didn't know what for, but by the way he was acting, he was obviously mad at something I did. I clenched my damp hair in my hands, and walked to my drawer where I rummaged around frantically and pulled out a shiny, clean razor. I pulled up my sleeves so they went up past my elbows. I wasted no time in bringing the razor to the juncture were my bicep meets my forearm.

I hissed as the pain coursed through my body the second I cut my arm. Since the blade was unbearably sharp, the pain was harsh, but I did enjoy how it felt; it slowly calmed my nerves. Blood poured down my arm as I continued to carve the word "hate" in my arm.

The pain wasn't enough though, the second I finished the angry-red "e" I dropped the razor and clawed my arm, feeling my nails dig into the ridges I created, making more blood pour from my cuts. I slouched against the wall I was standing near, and slid down, sitting on the floor. I began crying heavily, sobbing under my breath, I was whimpering, "Eli hates me."

My arm was still bleeding, and I could feel the blood dribbling down, soaking the sleeve of my shirt.

I had let out a scream and clenched my hair in my hands.

Since crying was the only thing I had ringing in my ears, I didn't hear my sister and Peter running up the stairs and barging into my room.

"Oh my god! Clare, what happened!" Darcy shrieked. I lifted my head and she squatted down next to me, and took my arm in her hands. She turned to Peter and demanded, "Peter! Get me something to clean this up!" He nodded and walked out of my room, leaving me and Darcy alone. I cried silently now, tears slowly streaming down my cheeks as I watched my sister's fingers move over my cuts. She looked up at me and asked, "Why?"

I didn't hesitate in responding.

"Eli hates me…" I whimpered.

Disbelief shown on Darcy's face and she narrowed her eyes at me; "Clare, no he doesn't." I shook my head. He does… Eli hates me and he proved it today. I cried, "I walked to him, to see what was wrong with him and he wouldn't tell me… I think I did something wrong, and now he won't talk to me." My voice squeaked as I explained to Darcy the situation.

She hugged me tight, and whispered in my ear, "Clare that doesn't mean anything – Eli likes you, so much, you can see it in his eyes, and he probably didn't want to talk right at that moment. He probably just wanted some time to cool off with whatever was wrong with him." Darcy cupped my face and wiped the tears that streamed down my cheeks with her thumbs. I swallowed hard and lowered my gaze. Maybe she was right… I wasn't sure. Peter soon walked in with paper towels and rubbing alcohol. He handed the items to Darcy and she thanked him, tearing a few paper towels from the roll, and soaking them with the rubbing alcohol.

Peter was watching and when I glanced up at him, he turned his head away, as if he had never seen something like this before. I hissed when Darcy placed the paper towels on my cuts, and began to wipe them clean. It hurt, but I liked it. I was used to this kind of pain, so instead of it being the pain that hurt, it was the pain that felt good.

Once the blood was cleaned off my arm, Darcy traced her fingers over the carving in my arm.

She sighed heavily.

"Can you guys leave me alone? Please." I asked. Darcy frowned and asked, "Are you sure you want us to leave you alone? You've already tried to—

"I'm not trying to kill myself, I'm just… I'm tired and I want to take a nap." I explained.

Darcy stood up, helping me up with her. I stood between Peter and my sister, and yawned, trying to get them to leave my room. I wanted to be alone. I walked to my bed and laid down on it. Soon enough, I was alone, which was exactly what I wanted. The door was closed, and I sat up quickly and grabbed my phone. I needed to talk to someone; someone I know will listen to me no matter what the situation. I dialed the number and pressed send.

**"Hello?"**

I smiled, listening to their voice.

"Hey, do you think your parents would drive up here so you can stay the night with me?" I asked, hoping that they would say yes.

**"Of course Clare, I'm sure they'll let me, I'll ask now."**

"Okay." I responded. I heard the phone being placed down and I waited patiently, for them to return and tell me the good – or bad news. While tapping my fingers on my knee, I looked down at my cuts and frowned, remembering what Darcy told me. I realized that what I did was a mistake, and that I needed to stop jumping to conclusions so quickly. I'll ask Eli what happened later.

**"Clare?"**

"Yeah."

**"They said yes, I should be over there in about an hour or so." **

"Okay, do you still remember the directions I gave you, or do you need them again?" I asked while getting up and removing my shirt really quick. I tossed my blood stained shirt in the trash bin in my room and found a different shirt hanging in my closet.

**"No I still remember, I'll see you in a little bit, okay?"**

"Okay, bye." I closed my phone and slipped my thumbs into the thumb holes of the shirt I wore. When I turned around, I could swear that my heart stopped. My father stood in the doorway and I cleared my throat and said softly, "Alli is coming to stay the night." He blinked at me and walked up to me saying, "You're inviting people over without asking me?" His tone was off and I knew I was in for something horrid. My back came in contact with the window behind me.

Dad had cornered me and his body was pressed uncomfortably close to me. I looked away and he grabbed my chin, forcing me to look at him.

"Are you. Inviting. People over… without asking me?" He repeated, only more quiet, more monotone. I cleared my throat and licked my bottom lip and said, "It doesn't matter, Alli is my friend and I want to see her. If Darcy can have boys here without you being home, then I can have Alli come and stay the night with me." I glared up at him and he glared back.

"Call her back, tell her to cancel."

He turned around and I dropped my jaw.

"What? No! I won't do it." I crossed my arms across my chest and he turned around asking, "Clare, I said cancel, you're not having her come over."

"I am too!" I shouted.

He turned around and his hand came crashing into my face, making my eye feel like it were going to explode, or better yet, fall out of its socket, because my dad hit me that hard. I held my cheek, feeling the heat on my palm, and looked up at my father. Again I said, "Daddy, I'm not going to cancel. She's coming over." He arched his eyebrow and placed his hands on his hips. I stood straight, with my dignity to its highest point. I wasn't going to let him win.

He noticed this and he asked, "Do you want to get hit Clare, are you testing me?"

"What if I was, I'm used to it, you can't do anything more to hurt me. I've felt it all." I snapped.

Daddy didn't seem pleased with what I was saying, because I can easily see the anger filling his eyes. But, he didn't even budge. He just stood there, in shock, wondering if he heard right. I crossed my arms across my chest and shifted my weight to one leg. He didn't say anything afterwards, only walked out of my room. I smiled triumphantly and walked to my door to shut it, only to have it slammed open, hitting me in the face.

My father came charging in, slamming my body into the wall. I yelped and he covered my mouth as I tried to scream.

"Do you think you can talk to me like that Clare?" He growled.

I screamed behind his hand and he slammed me hard against the wall, making me feel light headed. I slouched against him and he held my body up and pulled away. His hand came in contact with my face making my other eye feel as if it just exploded. He hit me so hard that I fell to the floor, holding my face. The pain from the door, the wall, and his hand made tears stream down my face.

He snorted and walked out of my room. The door was slammed and I staggered to my feet. I wiped my tears away; I wasn't going to cry. For the likes of him, I'm not going to, there's no way. Unfortunately I had no control for my tears, they continued to stream down my face. As I walked to my window, I noticed that Alli's car had pulled up and she quickly climbed out and ran to the door. I listened for the doorbell.

The front door was opened and I heard my sister's voice.

"Hey Alli! Oh it's so good to see you! What are you doing here?"

"I'm here to see Clare; she invited me to stay the night. Your house is amazing."

"Thanks, well Clare is upstairs; it's the last room at the end of the hall." Darcy said.

I sat on my bed after quickly grabbing my headphones, plugged them into my laptop and started to blast music, so that way I made it look like I wasn't actually expecting her to come upstairs. Alli stood in front of me and she tapped my head. I glanced up and faked excitement; I pulled my headphones off and jumped off the bed to hug her.

"I missed you sooo much!" Alli squealed.

"I missed you too." I smiled faintly.

"Clare, what happened to your eye?" Alli asked.

I cleared my throat and looked away. Alli frowned she dropped her bag on my bed and asked, "Is your dad hitting you again?" I shrugged my shoulders and said, "It's nothing, really don't worry about it. I have stuff to tell you." Alli frowned. She wasn't going to let me off that easy, I just know it. But, instead of pestering me, she sat on the bed and said, "Okay, spill. Tell me more about your boyfriend." I sat down and sighed pathetically.

"He's amazing Alli, his kisses are just so breathtaking. He's really sweet to me, like he's the perfect boyfriend." I said.

"His kisses? So you guys have gotten far huh?" Alli waggled her eyebrows at me and I tossed a pillow to her face responding quickly, "No, we just kiss, he's kissed my neck a few times and I did the same to him, but that's all. We talk most of the time. He hasn't rushed into anything… he makes me feel comfortable." I smiled softly and leaned against my dresser.

"Sounds like you got a keeper." Alli smiled.

I nodded.

"I really miss him." I whispered.

"When was the last time you saw him?" Alli asked.

"About an hour ago."

"Awe, Clare! And you miss him so much already? That is so cute!" Alli squealed. I blushed and looked away. Alli was still squealing and I hid my face in my hands muttering and begging her to stop, because she was making me blush ten different shades of red. Alli refused though. She continued, "Clare and Eli sitting in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G! First comes love, then comes marriage, her comes Eli with the baby carriage!"

"Alli shut up!" I squeaked while throwing a pillow to her face.

I didn't know my own strength because the force caused her to fall off the bed and land on the floor with a thud. She poked her head up and started laughing; I joined in and laughed with her. Boy, did I really miss this. Alli and I hadn't seen each other since I moved and that was the day school was let out at my old school in Hamilton. I really did miss my old school, but I'm ready to start a new year at Degrassi – with Eli and Adam; even though I am not entirely fond of Adam. I just need to get to know him better.

"So, I want to meet your boyfriend." Alli said.

"What? No." I shook my head.

"What? Yes! I want to meet this mysterious boy that has practically kidnapped your heart." Alli said, slapping my knee playfully. I sighed and got up from my bed. Slowly walking to my window, I looked across the road and noticed that Eli was sitting on his front lawn, and talking to someone; it looked like Adam.

I turned over to Alli and she crawled to the window sill and stood up. I pointed to him and she leaned in and narrowed her eyes at him, trying to get a much clearer view of Eli. She asked, "Is something wrong with him?" I looked down from my window and looked over at Eli. He had his head buried in his knees and the person sitting next to him was rubbing his back soothingly. I wanted to go down and comfort him, because when I left his house he was fine.

"You should be an awesome friend and introduce me to your new friends." Alli said, insistently. I pinned my eyebrows together and looked Alli, and then back down at Eli's lawn. I rolled my eyes and said, "Okay, but we're only going to see him for a little bit." Alli nodded and I quickly grabbed a pair of pants that I had hanging in the closet and quickly pulled them on over my shorts.

Alli took my hand in hers and she dragged me out of my room, down the stairs and I told Darcy before we left that I'll be back. Darcy nodded and waved me off – smiling both at Alli and me as we exit my house. The sound of my front door slamming echoed and Eli looked up. Alli was dragging me across the road and we were soon standing in front of Eli and Adam. There was an awkward tension between us and I walked next to Eli and gave him a hug, because it looked like he needed it.

Eli's head fell to my shoulder and he snaked his arms around my waist, and sighed shakily.

"Ehem." Eli pulled away from me and I did too.

"Oh um, Eli this is my friend Alli, Alli this is my boyfriend Eli, and this is Adam."

"It's a pleasure to _finally_ meet you both; I've heard _so_ much about you two." Alli smiled really wide, showing her white teeth, which was a huge contrast to her dark face. Eli wrapped his arm around my shoulder and pulled me closer to his chest and I glanced up at him. He looked down at me and that's when I actually noticed the black eye forming around his eye, and I frowned.

"Eli, what happened?" I asked.

"Oh this, it's nothing." He whispered while turning away, hiding his eye with his bangs.

Alli stood next to me and Eli and she eyed his bruise. Eli was startled because he flinched when she stood next to him, and leaned in forward and stared at his eyes. She said, "You do have really pretty eyes. Clare was right." I blushed and Eli chuckled nervously. My head fell to his shoulder and he pat my head. Alli has the tendency to make me blush all the time in front of my boyfriend and friends – embarrass me.

"So…" Adam said, rocking back and forth on his heels.

"Well, I just wanted to see how you were doing, and to meet my friend, I'll call you later?" I asked. Eli nodded and I desperately wanted to kiss him right there in front of Alli and Adam, but I know that it wouldn't be "appropriate." Unfortunately Eli didn't show any sign that he didn't care, because the moment I pulled away, his hand came out and he grasped the back of my head and crushed my lips over his.

I whimpered, but he soon softened his vice like grip and kissed me softer.

Eli pulled away and said, "I'll be waiting for that call."

I smiled and kissed him chastely before walking back home with Alli linking her arm around me. She whispered in a deep down that she could possibly muster; "I'll be waiting for that call, oh Eli is such a charming man." I smiled and glanced back at him he smiled at me and I waved at him. He lifted his hand in a wave and turned around, walking into his house, with Adam following behind him.

"Shut up Alli." I finally said.

"Oh come on Clare, you should know this, Eli is a charmer, I bet he's really romantic too, even though he looks really mysterious." Alli playfully elbowed my side. I rolled my eyes and smiled. Eli hasn't showed me his romantic side, but I know deep down that he does have one. With the make out sessions we have and the tiny kisses he gives me, I know he's a closet romantic.

Smiling wide, I entered my house and walked up the stairs and into my room, sitting down with Alli on my bed.

"So, do you love him?" Alli asked quickly.

"What?" I blinked up at her.

"Simple question Clare, do you love Eli?" Alli asked again.

I swallowed hard and looked down at the floor of my room. Isn't it too soon to be even thinking about love? I have strong feelings for Eli, really strong feelings, they might be love, they might be something else; I'm not quite sure. Besides, Eli might not feel the same way about me, I'm sure he just likes me a lot… But, then again, I can't really say I don't… because deep down, no matter how hard I try and hide my feelings, I think I do love him.

"Yes? No?" Alli pestered me.

"Alli, yes… I do love him." I responded and she let out the loudest squeal ever.

It's like she's surprised because of it.

Well, I wouldn't blame her for getting excited, the last guy I fell in love with he turned out to be the biggest psycho path ever.

I only hope Eli isn't that way…

End of Chapter 21

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HA! Didn't think it would be Alli coming along did you? So, in the next chapter, there will be some bloodshed, rape, cutting, and attempted suicide, you have been warned. The next chapter will probably be posted sometime next week. So, if you want it, leave me some reviews, yes?

Goodbye for now!


	22. could tell a love

Disclaimer: Degrassi is something I don't own, sadly… I do own Eli's five year old cousin though, Maureen.

A/N: Okay, so the last two chapters sucked obviously :/ I'm lacking in reviews with each passing chapters, I'm hoping you guys are not getting bored, there's so much more going to happen in this story :3 So, yeah, here's chapter 22, I hope you like it!

Warnings: No parental abuse this time, but there will be **masturbation** ._. and a massive fluff moment with a side of horror – be prepared, it's kind of gruesome, sort of…

Alternating POV's in this chapter!

* * *

Alibis

Summary: Waiting for change to lead him down a more innocent path, death obsessed Elijah Goldsworthy finds it in a blue eyed beauty, but perhaps with an even darker past than his own.

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CHAPTER 22

"Does it hurt?" Adam asked from my room.

"Just a little." I responded, loud enough so he could here since I was in the bathroom. I was busy glancing at the black eye I have, and sighed heavily. It hurt from the slightest touch. I need to be more careful. After unlocking the door, I walked out of the bathroom and stared at Adam who sat on my bed, raiding my laptop. I rolled my eyes and just as I sat down at my computer desk, my mother walked into my room.

"Do you guys want anything to eat? Anything special at least?" She asked. Adam turned to me and I shrugged my shoulders. I wasn't really hungry, and I still felt a little queasy. Plus, I have a headache from this damn black eye. Mom walked up to me and she eyed the bruise on my face and frowned.

I bowed my head, trying to hide my eye with my bangs, which of course I was failing miserably at. My mom asked, "Eli where did you get this bruise?" I laughed sheepishly, remembering what happened.

"After you and dad talked to me about Maureen, I went off and started walking away, got pegged in the eye with a baseball from some random kids playing baseball in the middle of the street." I responded. Mom rolled her eyes and she pats my head after kissing the top of it. She walked out of the room and left me and Adam alone. I spun around in my computer chair and looked out the window. My eyes were fixated on the house across the road.

Clare's window was open and she was talking to that girl named Alli. She really made me uncomfortable earlier, getting that close to my face. Adam tossed a crumbled piece of paper at me and I turned to face him.

"What?" I asked, slightly annoyed.

"Am I staying the night? Or, do you want to be alone?" Adam asked.

He was slightly hesitant when he asked me.

I was hesitant in answering to.

Adam has apologized more than enough for what he did, even though he still doesn't remember him doing it. I'm starting to think he has a split personality or is bi-polar. But, I'm not going to jump to conclusions just yet. Adam is my best friend, and I don't want to lose him over something that happened a few days ago. We've been through worse, and he sexually assaulting me wasn't going to fuck up our friendship, no matter how bad it sounded.

"You can stay the night if you want, but I mean, I might convince Clare to sneak out with me later, I have something I need to tell her." I responded.

Instantly, I could feel my face burning up, and Adam started laughing hysterically. He said in between fits of laughter, "What exactly are you going to tell her? And couldn't you just call her and tell her?" I shook my head and lowered my gaze. The thing I have to tell Clare doesn't deserve to be told over the phone. Especially at how hard it's going to be for me to tell her. I told one girl that I loved them, and that didn't end well at all. I sighed and looked away.

"So, what are you going to tell her?" Adam asked again as he passed his laptop to me and I took it and placed it on the computer desk. I began searching through my music, letting the random choices play not too loudly, but not too softly through the speakers. I cleared my throat and whispered, "That I love her."

Adam blinked a few times and he turned his head slightly to the side and narrowed his eyes at me. He was looking at me like he missed what I had said. I sighed shakily. Just the mere thought of telling her made my skin crawl, in a good way. Clare is an important person in my life, and telling her I loved her is a big deal.

"I'm going to tell Clare that I love her – _I didn't think it would be possible to be this scared_." I said.

Adam flashed me a smile and shook his head.

"It's okay to be afraid Eli; I'm just surprised you're telling her." Adam responded while moving his shaggy hair away from his face.

I didn't entirely understand what he meant by that, but I'm hoping it was good.

"What do you mean?" I asked curiously.

"Well, it's just, after what happened with Jenna, I'm surprised you'd even tell another girl that you love them. No biggy, I was just you know, being weird." Adam shrugged his shoulder. I understand now. I was surprised myself to be honest. Having to tell someone else that I love them, after Jenna; I know Clare loves me too, I can see it in her eyes, I can feel it… I just hope I'm right. I smiled at the thought of what might happen.

Clare would probably start smiling, really wide. That or she would start crying – from joy I hope -, even though I hated to see her cry. It was heartbreaking. Just thinking about it makes my chest hurt.

"When do you think she'll call? I mean she is having her friend over." Adam stated.

"I don't know, she normally texts me before she does." I said.

Adam nodded and he looked around my room as if it were his first time in here, and did that annoying popping sound with his mouth. Each time it was heard, I flinched. I turned to my computer desk and skimmed through my music, and blasted Asking Alexandria through the speakers, loud. Adam tossed a pillow at my head and I craned my neck to look at him. I gave him a questioning look and he pinned his eyebrows at me.

While sighing obnoxiously and rolling my eyes, I turned the volume down, just enough so we could hear each other speak. We sat awkwardly in my room, not knowing what exactly to do. Adam would have to leave later so he could get his clothes, which gives me a few minutes to be alone. I cleared my throat and suggested, "Why don't you go home and get your stuff, and then we can jam later." Adam smiled. He nodded quickly and abruptly got off my bed and almost bolted out of my room. But before he did, he said, "I've been learning a new song on my bass guitar, I've wanted to have you listen to it for a while now." I nodded curtly, and watched him leave my room.

When the door was closed, I got up to lock it.

As I sat down on my bed, I lay back, and stared at my ceiling. Aside from the music playing on my laptop, it was quiet. I closed my eyes for a moment and smiled warmly, Clare's face in my thoughts. She was so beautiful. As broken as she is, she's the most amazing girl that I had ever met. I slowly opened my eyes and swallowed hard. I turned onto my stomach and stared out my window – Clare and Alli were out on the front lawn, lying on a beach towel. I got up and walked to my window, closing the blinds and I peeked through them, because I know that she could have seen me across the road.

Clare and Alli in two piece bathing suits, made my lower region twitch. I wasn't going to lie, but Alli did have a nice body, but my eyes were currently fixated on Clare. She had arm warmers on to cover the scars on her wrists, but other than that… she looked damn amazing in a two piece.

I pulled away from my window after hungrily eyeing my girlfriend from afar. It wasn't wrong to look at your girlfriend… so why am I so paranoid about looking at her. I peeked through the blinds and my breath hitched as she pulled her arm warmers down and began rubbing lotion all over her chest, she pushed the straps off her shoulders and I shifted my weight from my right leg, to my left.

Again, I pulled away and shook my head from my dirty thoughts. I needed to stop being such a damn pervert when it came to my girlfriend. I couldn't help it though, to be completely honest. Just one last time, I took another peek and watched as she applied lotion on her legs, her arms, her stomach, and lastly her chest again, reaching up to her neck.

My breathing had become really ragged and I seriously couldn't contain myself.

I walked to my bed and lied down on it, trying to think of something to get my obvious erection to disappear. I closed my eyes and sighed shakily.

As much as I hated doing this, I had to relieve myself somehow, and I wasn't entirely in the mood of taking a cold shower. After unbuttoning my pants and unzipping them, I slipped my hand into my pants and rubbed my erection through my boxers. As sick as it sounded, my thoughts drifted to Clare, but the images were more intense than what I had previously been thinking about. Keeping a mental note that my parents are home, I tried to finish as quick as I could.

I pulled my pants and boxers down, enough to free my cock, and gripped the base before I quickly started stroking myself. To suppress myself from moaning loud, I bit down on my bottom lip and whined in my throat. I squeezed my cock harder, and pumped my fist faster, occasionally twisting it. A small moan escaped my lips and the image in my head had grown dirtier, intense, and my breathing picked up suddenly.

It wasn't long after that I had cum on my hand, and stomach. I lay on the bed breathing heavily and I slowly cracked my eyes open. When I cleaned myself up, I had a sudden nauseated feeling. I didn't think that thinking about your girlfriend and jacking off would make me feel so sick, I guess it's because I don't like to do it? I have no idea, but I felt really sick to my stomach.

I went to lay down on my bed and the minute I dead weight my body on my bed, the handle to my door started moving and I heard Adam's loud voice on the other side. He shouted, "Eli open the door!" I sighed heavily and got up lazily to unlock the door. Adam stepped inside my room and tossed his bag across my room. He stood in the middle of my room and asked, "Why does it smell like sex in here?" I choked on my spit and turned away muttering, "You're crazy."

"Ha, I'm not the one with the sex smelling room. Now, let's jam." He pulled out his bass guitar from its case and we walked out of my room and headed into the room where my drum set was. I closed the door, and took my seat behind them and grabbed my drumsticks.

"Okay, so it's sort of fast paced." Adam said.

I nodded and waited for him to start playing. Adam tuned his bass and cleared his throat, while reaching into his pocket and pulling out a guitar pick. Adam was slowly taking his time and I was getting a little frustrated.

"Adam, perhaps today." I said.

"Okay, okay!" He responded.

As he started to play, I waited just for the right time to join as well. He has gotten better with his playing, and just when he hit a certain note, I joined in – starting off with the rapid speed of the double bass, and then the actual drumming, occasionally crossing my arms to hit the cymbals.

I tried my hardest not to laugh when Adam did a wild series of head banging as he played. After about twenty minutes, he stopped and breathed heavily asking, "So, what do you think?" I nodded in approval and responded, "Your playing has gotten better, I like it." Adam nodded and pulled the strap off his shoulder and placed his guitar on the floor against the wall. Adam sat down in the empty chair in front of my drums and I placed my drumsticks on the floor.

"I'm hungry, do you want to go out and get something to eat?" Adam asked.

"Sure. As long as you're paying." I smirked.

Adam rolled his eyes.

"Of course." He muttered.

…

…

…

…

"Clare, you have a dog!" Alli squeaked.

"Yeah, her name is Beauty." I responded as she continued to paint my toenails neon pink. Alli smiled wide and she finished painting my baby toe and closed the small bottle. I looked down at my toes and wiggled them, smiling. I wasn't entirely fond of the color pink, but that color really looked nice. Alli had different varieties too, bright blue, green, yellow, sea foam green, purple, and bright red. Alli insisted I choose the pink though.

I'm glad I did.

"So, are you going to show me your little puppy?" Alli said, smiling wide. I rolled my eyes and got up. I told her to wait in my room while I went downstairs to go get her. Darcy was in the living room, watching T.V. with my mom, and my dad was in the kitchen, reading the paper and drinking coffee. I quickly walked to the laundry room, opened the door, and walked inside to get Beauty from her small bed. She yawned, making the cutest little sound in the process.

I walked back to the stairs, and quickly ran up them, heading to my room. When I entered my room and held up my puppy, Alli let out the girlish squeal ever. She got up and practically snatched her from my arms and held her close to her chest, scratching behind her soft ears.

"When did you get her?" Alli asked.

"About a week or two ago." I responded. "Eli helped me pick her out."

Alli smiled and she sat on the floor, letting Beauty lay down on her legs. I watched my best friend play with my dog, and I walked to my bed and sat down on it. While grabbing my laptop, I signed into my FaceRange account, and smiled when I got the notification to change my relationship status from "single" to "In a relationship with Eli Goldsworthy." Of course, I accepted the invitation. Moments later, I had gotten a comment from my relationship status changing.

As Alli was busy on the floor playing, I hid the fact that I was slightly upset when I received a comment from my ex-boyfriend KC.

_KC Guthrie—Clare Edwards: I hope he can put up with your crap; I'm surprised you even got a boyfriend, after what happened between you and me._

I frowned and swallowed nervously.

"Clare, why the long face?" Alli asked as she got up and sat down on my bed, looking over my shoulder at my computer screen. I cleared my throat and said, "Nothing, KC is just… being an ass." Alli frowned and sighed softly.

"You need to delete him from your friends… he talked to me the other day." Alli said.

"What did he say?" I asked a little too quickly.

Okay, it's not like I cared about what he said. I was just a little too curious. KC and I haven't talked in almost six months, and for all I know he's going off and telling Alli crap about me that isn't entirely true. Alli shrugged her shoulders and she responded while placing Beauty on the bed, "He just asked how you were and if you mentioned him at all. I told him you called him an asshole and he just did that stupid frown of his." I laughed a little and Alli joined in as well.

I looked away for a few moments and Alli questioned, "Are you going to delete him?"

I shrugged my shoulders, and responded, "What good does it make if I do delete him? He can still contact me any other way."

"Clare quit being so difficult, just delete him off your friends and block him." Alli said while crossing her arms across her chest. I sighed and nodded, doing what I was told. I never felt so relieved in my entire life and happy. While I placed my laptop on the bed, I grabbed Beauty and held her close to my chest while she leaned up and licked my chin. Alli said, "We should get something to eat, or order a pizza, I'm really hungry."

"Oh, I can take you to this café called The Dot, Eli took me and Darcy there, I know you'll like it." I smiled. Alli nodded and she said, "Let me change out of these clothes." I nodded as she walked to her bag and pulled out a ruffled black skirt and a purple top. Alli walked to my bathroom, and shut the door. I walked to my closet to find something to change into as well. I grabbed a short sleeved V-neck black shirt, and my purple skinny jeans. I quickly changed into my chosen attire, and just when I finished, Alli walked out of the bathroom.

"We're going to have to walk, because I know that my mom won't take us." I said as I grabbed my thick wrist bands, and covered my cuts with them.

Alli slipped on her pink heels, and we both walked down the stairs after I had picked Beauty up from the bed and we both walked down the stairs.

"Mom, Alli and I are going to the Dot; can I borrow some money so I can get us something to eat?" I asked, loud enough from the laundry room.

"Sure, do you guys want a ride too?" I heard her answer me.

Alli looked over at me and nodded quickly. I smiled and told my mom that yes we would like a ride. Just the thought of having to walk a long way to the Dot, I know Alli would've been complaining half the time about how much her feet would've been killing her. Well, no offense to Alli, she shouldn't be wearing heels all the time. After waiting for my mom to get her keys, we all walked out through the front door, and walked to the car. Alli climbed into the back seats while I took a seat in the passenger side. Mom had climbed in moments later, and she turned the ignition on and drove away from the house.

…

…

"I'll pick you guys up in an hour or so, here's some extra money in case you want to buy something else." Mom handed me another twenty dollars, and I smiled and waved her off as she drove back home. Alli and I walked towards the entrance of The Dot, and headed inside. We took a seat at the corner of the café, sitting across from each other. Alli and I sat in silence while we skimmed over the menu.

"Hm, the chicken Caesar salad sounds really good." Alli said while looking up at me.

I nodded, not looking at her as I continued to glance over the menu. Alli set her menu down and smiled – I guess she was done and is ready to order. The only thing I could think about getting was the Dot's double cheeseburger, it sounded so good but so greasy at the same time. I pressed my lips to a line and sighed. That might was well do for now. I wasn't fond of eating things with so much fat in them, but I was really hungry, and rabbit food wasn't going to fill me up.

"So, Clare," Alli started – I looked up and blinked a few times at her. She continued; "Have you seen your new school yet?" I nodded but before I could answer, our server walked up to our table, and quickly jotted down our drink orders. Alli ordered a large ice-T, while I just ordered water.

"It's really big; I'm actually excited to start in it." I responded.

"That's good; do you miss your old school?" Alli asked as she played with the napkins.

While nodding slowly, I looked down at the table. As much as I hated my old school, the way I was treated, what happened between the people I thought I called my friends, KC, I was glad I moved here to Toronto. I only wished I could have my best friend here with me. It sucks that I would have to make new friends at a new school in a town that you don't know anybody. So far, I know three people, Jenna and Fitz don't count. I don't really like those two, and Adam told me not to get involved with Fitz, because he's "bad news".

"So other than Eli and Adam, do you know anybody else around here?"

"Yeah, Darcy's friend… boyfriend… friend?" I shrugged my shoulders.

"Is he the boyfriend or the friend?" Alli asked chuckling lightly.

"I don't even know." I laughed. Our drinks arrived and Alli immediately attacked her tea. I tried not to laugh as I took a straw when our server placed them on the table.

"Are you ready to order? Or do you need another few minutes?" She asked.

"No, we're ready." I smiled. Alli went first, ordering her salad, and then I ordered my cheeseburger. Our server walked back and Alli and I sat in silence. It was a little bit awkward to be honest. I haven't seen Alli in such a long time, so I don't know what exactly to talk to her about. The first thing that popped up in my head was to ask her about her brother Sav.

"How's your family?" I asked while moving the straw around the inside of my glass, the ice-cubes swirling around with the water.

"Oh, they're doing great – say Clare, isn't that Eli over there?" Alli said quickly.

I quickly turned my attention to where Alli pointed, and the smallest grin appeared on my lips as I watched my boyfriend walk out of the comic store just across the street with Adam. He looked so happy and excited, and I couldn't help but think how adorable he looked. Eli and Adam walked across the road and walk through the entrance of The Dot. I looked at Alli and she leaned forward and whispered, "Are you sure he's not stalking you?" I playfully slapped her arm and Alli laughed.

I pretended to not notice Eli, and waited for him to approach me instead.

"Clare?"

Bingo!

I looked up from my drink and smiled at the most beautiful face that I had ever seen.

"Hey, what are you doing here?" I asked.

"Um, Adam and I were just dropping by to get something to eat, we were going to earlier, but he insisted in stopping at the comic book store, which we spent almost an hour at." Eli sounded more irritated than excited. Adam smiled sheepishly and rubbed the back of his head. When I stole a glance from Alli, she looked like she was ready to pounce on Adam; by the way she was looking at him. I pursed my lips to a line and kicked her softly.

She shot a glance to me and I eyed her.

"Would you two like to join us?" Alli asked.

I mentally slapped myself, that's not what I wanted her to do! Don't get me wrong, it's not that I didn't want Eli and Adam to join us; it's just that she took it the wrong way. I scooted over and Eli took a seat next to me, while Adam sat down in front of us, next to Alli.

"So, how long have you known Clare?" Eli asked Alli.

"Since I was in the fourth grade, she's been my best friend since, I love her to death." I smiled and blushed, dropping my chin to my chest to hide the pink on my face. Eli playfully elbowed my side and I glanced up at him, he flashed me the cutest smile and I couldn't help but blush harder than I already am. When I lifted my head I noticed how Adam had stolen Alli's attention, flirting with her. I glanced at Eli and he pinned his eyebrows together, glaring at Adam.

"Dude, you have a girlfriend." Eli said.

Adam turned to Eli and he pursed his thin lips to a line and responded, "Dude, Fiona? What about her?" Eli was about to protest, but Adam turned back to Alli and they started talking again, well more like flirting. I sighed and rolled my eyes. Alli is such a… girl. If a guy looks at her in a certain way she becomes the biggest flirt ever. So, I turned to Eli and he did the same, leaning back against the booth.

"So, what's going on?" I asked.

"Not much."

Eli flipped his hair and I caught a glimpse of his black eye. I reached up and pushed his bangs aside, eyeing the dark black and blue circle around his eye. It looked horrible. I wanted to know what happened or how he got it.

"I got pegged in the eye with a baseball." Eli said suddenly, as if he knew what I was going to ask him. He shrugged his shoulder when my face suddenly dropped. I wasn't going to ask how it happened because that would be an irrelevant question. I leaned up and kissed the bruise, when I pulled away Eli's cheeks were flushed. I smiled and moved away when Alli and my plate was placed in front of us. I picked up my burger, and took the biggest bite out of it.

Eli chuckled and I blushed and slowly chewed, hiding my face behind my curly hair.

"Don't stop on my account, eat away." Eli said, still laughing.

I smiled and swallowed slowly.

"So, Alli," I grabbed her attention before Adam could do anything. She turned to me and I smiled; "What do you want to do when we get home?" She shrugged her shoulders.

"Well, Adam invited me to hang out with him—

"Um, no! You came here to see me, not go off with my friends." I interrupted her quickly. Alli frowned and she pouted. Adam stole a glance at me and I eyed him. Eli cleared his throat and he shifted nervously in his seat. It was true! I didn't mean to come out so forward or strict sounding, but Alli is here to see me, I invited her over, and she wasn't about to ditch me for my friends. She did this other times too. There were times where she left me alone at the mall, and completely forgot about me.

Alli and I ate in silence, while Adam and Eli sat there awkwardly staring at each other.

I was soon finished and I pushed the plate away – feeling so full.

"Satisfied?" Eli asked.

"She should be, she ate that burger like a beast." Adam said jokingly.

Alli bust out laughing, but I didn't find the joke very hilarious. Eli wrapped his arm around my shoulders and rubbed my bicep. I smiled weakly at him and leaned against him, placing my head on his shoulder. Alli stared at me awkwardly, but I only ignored it. It's like she expected me not to do anything in front of her while Eli was with me.

But, I wasn't going to stop – I know it's not right for someone to be flirting and canoodling with their boyfriend in front of your friends, but I'm sorry for Alli; she can't tell me what I can and can't do. Eli leaned down and I blushed when I felt his lips against my ear.

"I have something that I want to tell you later." He whispered.

I turned to face him and I smiled while asking curiously, "Can't you tell me now?" Eli shook his head and bit his bottom lip. I could already see his cheeks turning red again. Eli blushing is probably the cutest thing that I had ever seen. He just looked so innocent, but I know he's not, well from what I've seen or witnessed.

"Clare, your mom is here." Alli said. I frowned and looked out the window. My mom's car pulled up and she parked next to the Dot. I didn't want to leave, and I smiled gently when I felt Eli softly tighten his grip around my shoulders, like he didn't want me to leave either. But the four of us got up nonetheless and after I placed a few bills down on the table, we all walked outside.

"Would you like a ride back home?" I asked Eli.

"Um, would your mom mind?" He asked.

I walked to the car and motioned for my mom to roll the window down of the passenger seat.

"Is everything okay?" She asked.

"Yeah mom, everything is fine um, I was just wondering if you can give Eli and Adam a ride home, since you know, they're both going to Eli's house." I said my voice full of hope. I know my mom would be more laid back with it, so I know she would say yes. If I asked my father, he would've told me no the second I asked. Besides, Eli did punch him in the face, so I wouldn't think he would want Eli in his car in the first place.

"Sure, that's fine." Mom smiled.

"Great!" I responded while leaning back and waved for my friends to come to the car. They walked up to the car while I climbed into the passenger seat; Adam, Alli, and Eli climbed into the backseats, in that same order.

The ride home was a little bit awkward, since everything was quiet; I liked the quiet though, so it was okay on my end. When I looked at the side view mirror, I smiled when I glanced at Eli through the reflection. He somehow caught me staring at him and he smirked at me. Our eyes locked and I suddenly felt the urge of turning around, and climbing into the backseats so I could kiss him. Eli's kisses always sends a jolt of electricity all over my body, and sometimes would make a certain place between my legs pulse; I clenched them together when I thought about it.

I was too caught up in thinking about what Eli's kisses do to me that I hadn't even realized that we were home already.

After coming back to reality, I unfastened my seatbelt and climbed out. Eli took me in his arms and I wrapped my arms around his waist and glanced up at him. He brushed my hair away from my face and cupped my cheek. His hands were so warm against my skin and I closed my eyes at the feeling.

"Clare, I'm going to go ahead and head inside!" Alli shouted as she walked across the lawn, leaving me and Eli and Adam alone. Eli cleared his throat at Adam and he blinked a few times and mouthed an "oh" and quickly turned around and ran across the road and disappeared in Eli's house. I pinned my eyebrows together and wondered what exactly Eli was planning. I turned my head up to face him and he smiled softly at me.

"Clare I um… don't want to keep you away from Alli too long so um… I might as well get on with it," He sighed heavily and his head dropped to my shoulder. I reached up to rub his back and Eli whispered; "I love you."

I blinked a few times, wondering if what I heard was right. Did Eli just say he loved me? No, maybe I was just imaging it – no, I did hear right, but I wanted to make sure before I could respond.

"What?" I asked, while tugging on the back of his head softly. Eli lifted his head and his jade green eyes peered into mine. They were so dark and so mysterious, holding a variety of different emotions that I couldn't yet grasp on. His tongue traced his bottom lip and he let out a shaky breath.

"I um, I-I love you." Eli stammered this time.

My lips curled into a small smile, and I instantly wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him down to kiss me. His hands were on my hips, but soon moved to the small of my back and brought me closer to him. After sharing the small, passionate kiss, I pulled away and glued our foreheads together. Against his slightly quivering lips, I whispered, "I love you too." I felt his lips curl up into a smile and he kissed me again. I hugged him tight, because I had that sudden feeling where if I let go, I would float away, classic cliché romance right?

When I pulled away, he looked into my eyes and I could swear I saw stars.

"I have to get back inside." I whispered.

"No, don't go." He pleaded.

"I'm sorry, Eli. I have to go, I'll call you later tonight, I promise." I gave him a reassuring smile and he nodded and kissed my forehead, and my cheekbones, and lastly my lips again. I pulled away from him and walked up the steps to my front door. When I looked back at him he was walking slowly to his place.

…

…

Later on that Night

Eli's POV

…

…

"So, you told her you loved her?" Adam asked for the millionth time. I walked out of the bathroom and wiped my mouth with the sleeve of my shirt. I headed to my bed and sat on it.

"Yeah, I told her I loved her, and she said that she loved me too." I said, trying not to sound so excited, but I was.

Adam smiled and he placed a hand over mine and squeezed it tight. I smiled sheepishly and cleared my throat asking, "What do you want to do now?" Adam shrugged his shoulders and pulled his hand away. I crossed my legs Indian style on my bed and drummed my fingers on my knees. Adam suggested, "We can go out for a late night walk? You always liked doing that." I thought about it. Adam was right. I always loved to walk out late at night, and come back home at like three or four o'clock in the morning.

"Sure, we're going to have to sneak out though, my parents wouldn't allow it, especially since I have this black eye, they think I'll get into a fight with those little brats." I chuckled.

"I keep forgetting how much you hate kids." Adam snorted.

"I like them to an extent." I muttered while pulling my black jacket on and a pair of loose gray pajama pants. Adam didn't need to change since he was still in his clothes. He claims that it's pointless to change your clothes unless you're going to bed – it is only ten o'clock. After I shouted to my parents down the hall that Adam and I were going to bed, I shut the door to my room, locked it, and turned off the light. Adam and I snuck out through my window and I closed it quietly and we started to walk down the street.

We were quiet Adam and I.

The constant sound of our feet hitting the pavement, and our shoes kicking the small rocks was annoying me.

"You said you like kids to an extent – what about Maureen, do you like her to an extent?" Adam asked, finally breaking the awkward silence.

"I love Maureen, she's the only exception." I muttered.

"So, you have to baby sit her tomorrow?" Adam asked while reaching down to pick up a broken stick – not even a stick it was more like a twig.

"Yeah, I don't mind though… Maureen isn't annoying or anything. I mean, she can get a little complicated sometimes, but I mean, she knows when to quit." I responded nonchalantly. Adam nodded. He wasn't a huge fan of kids either, but he did like Maureen too. There were times where she would come and visit and Adam would be over at my place coincidently. He would play games with her and pretend to let her win and such.

"Well, glad to know you're into little girls." Adam joked.

I punched his arm playfully and he faked hurt, balling obnoxiously. I rolled my eyes and sighed heavily. We walked around the corner and Adam stopped dead in his tracks.

"What?" I asked.

"Dude, there's like a man eating dog over there." Adam said as he jumped behind me. Fucking coward. Adam was never going to admit it, but he was never a huge fan of dogs, especially the "man eating" ones. I walked ahead of him like nothing was wrong, the dog was snooping around through garbage, and I wouldn't be surprised if it had rabies.

When I got closer to it, the dog's head lifted up and Adam quickly clung onto my arm, and he whimpered. I tried my hardest not to laugh at him. While we continued to slowly make our way towards it, the dog started to growl and Adam whimpered again, muttering something along the lines of "good doggy" I ended up laughing at him but when I started walking again, the dog started barking and charged at us. Adam let go of my arm and sprinted in the opposite direction.

Before I could comprehend what just happened, I was tackled to the ground and I hissed when my head hit the pavement, hard. I was sure that the skin broke and I was bleeding. I tried my hardest to keep the dog from attacking me, unfortunately that's exactly what is happening.

"Fuck… ADAM!" I screamed.

For a scrawny fucking dog, this thing was impossible to get off, I pressed my foot directly on its chest and kicked it off me. It let out a screeching whine, but charged at me again. I wasn't thinking before my actions, and I ended up drop kicking the dog, hard. It whined but continued to make its way towards me. I grabbed the closest thing to me, a thick broken stick, and aimed it directly to its head; I felt the blood splatter all over my pants, but that didn't stop me.

It whined as I continued to bash its skull open.

"Dude, Eli stop it!" I heard Adam say.

I didn't though. My foot came crashing down against its rib, and I could feel it break and puncture the lung, blood was pouring profusely out of its broken body, and when it stopped moving, I dropped the stick from my hand, landing with a soft thud, and I turned around, breathing heavily.

"What did you do?" He whispered.

I smirked maniacally and asked, "What does it look like?" The look on Adam's face was scared, frightened, but I didn't care. I looked down at the dog and stepped to the side as the blood formed into a large puddle.

"Eli, dude you killed it!" Adam shrieked.

"Yeah? So?"

"I didn't want you to kill it! Eli, let's get out of here before someone sees!" Adam grabbed my arm and we sprinted back home. When we were away from the house we stood in front of, Adam stopped and I looked down at the blood stains all over my pants. I swallowed hard, realizing what I had done and whispered, "I didn't even – Adam I was just trying to—

"Just don't speak, don't say anything." Adam interrupted me.

"Don't be mad, please." I whispered.

"Why the hell not? Eli you killed a dog!" Adam shouted, obviously not caring what time it was.

"Yeah, one that you were too chicken shit to walk by!" I shouted back.

Adam turned away and he clenched his fists by his sides and sighed heavily. He whispered, "I didn't want you to kill it." I looked away as well and started to walk away from him. Adam didn't even stop me, but I wasn't surprised. Just when I was a few feet away from him, I heard Adam walking to me and he grabbed my shoulder and turned me around swiftly. I looked up at him with a curious gaze and he shook his head disapprovingly at me.

"Eli, you need help, you can't just go around killing animals like that."

"Adam you saw what it was doing… I could've died from it." I snarled. He shook his head and pulled me close to his chest, his arms wrapped securely around my shoulders and his head dropped to my shoulder. I stood there dumbfounded and he whispered, "I don't want something like this to happen, you could get sent away again."

I sighed softly and closed my eyes.

"I won't get sent away again Adam, I'll try to not let it happen again, I promise."

Adam pulled away and looked into my eyes. His eyes reminded me of Clare's and I instantly felt bad, because I could see the pain in his. I immediately thought of Clare, and what she would think if she found this out, that I just killed a dog as if it were nothing. I hugged Adam tight and he did the same, his arms encircled my waist and he pulled me close to him.

"I'm sorry, I won't do it again, I promise… I promise Adam." I whispered against his shoulder.

Adam nodded and he said quietly, "I trust you, let's go home now." I nodded and we pulled away. Adam walked ahead of me and I looked back and sighed heavily and soon started following behind him solemnly. I wasn't too proud of what I did, now that I actually think about, but what else could I do? If Adam were in my situation, he probably would've done the same thing, so I don't really understand why he was so upset with me…

I just don't understand him sometimes.

End of Chapter 22

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Woo! It took me three days to type this D: It was a long wait, what, four days? Ha ha, I sorry to keep you guys waiting, but I had some things to take care of, and now that that is done, I could probably update a lot faster, I'm not making any promises, but I might be able to update this weekend, probably either Saturday or Sunday. Oh and before I leave you guys to review *hint hint* I would like to answer a question:

Anonymous: Will Drew be showing up in this story, since Adam is in this? Well yes, of course he will, but not until later, he shows up about the same time that KC does :D

Anyhoo, leave me some reviews! Tell me what you think :) Goodbye for now! Oh and don't be alarmed when you see two new story's posted, It will be very late updating for them, one is going to be a supernatural/horror fic, but there will be romance, just not as often. And the other will be drama/romance, which I'm sure you guys will ENJOY.

Leave me some reviews!


	23. please, don't go

Disclaimer: Degrassi is something I don't own, sadly… I do own Eli's five year old cousin though, Maureen.

A/N: Thank you so much for the reviews! I loved reading them! Anyway, before I begin, I have something very important to say, after this chapter, it's going to be ending from Month One of summer vacation. The next month will be full of intense situations, REALLY intense situations.

Oh and I will be writing a two-shot side story to Alibis, it's going to explain the situation of what happened between Jenna and Eli, and his first suicide attempt. I am going to explain it in this story, but just not as detailed. Anyway – I hope you guys enjoy this chapter, because ha it's going to be very _upsetting_, and when I say **upsetting**, I mean **_UPSETTING_**. You will be screaming at the computer screen once you're done reading. I mean it, you're not going to be very pleased with the ending of this chapter.

Warnings: Be prepared, there's no physical abuse, but there is drug abuse - just a small scene, it's not really bad, well you know what I mean. As I said before, you won't like the way this chapter turns out in the end. Some sexiness in this chapter and it will be all in Eli's POV.

* * *

Alibis

Summary: Waiting for change to lead him down a more innocent path, death obsessed Elijah Goldsworthy finds it in a blue eyed beauty, but perhaps with an even darker past than his own.

* * *

CHAPTER 23

The next morning was a blur.

An awkward surreal blur – When I woke up, Adam was already in my kitchen having breakfast with my parents. He didn't say a word to me though. It was like he was distant, and so were my parents. At this very moment we were sitting at the kitchen table, the tension in the air was again, very awkward.

"How did you guys sleep?" I asked.

"Fine."

"Good."

"…"

I nodded and moved my scrambled eggs around with my fork. The front door bell rang and I looked up immediately. Mom got up from the table and she cleared her throat and I watched her slowly make her way to the front door. I was starting to wonder why the fuck everybody was acting so uneasy, but instead of asking, I remained quiet and continued to eat my breakfast. The front door slammed shut and all in unison, Adam, dad and I shot our heads to the source of the noise.

Great, Dr. West, what a lovely surprise, and… someone else – My mom walked into the kitchen, and she laced her fingers and stood in front of me. I pinned my eyebrows together and narrowed my eyes. Dr. West and the person who stood behind him came into view. It was a young woman, probably in her mid-thirties, and she looked like some other psychiatrist that I met at Dr. West's office.

"What's going on, guys?" I asked, looking around the room.

"Adam told us what happened last night, and we feel that you're not getting enough treatment for your actions—

"You told her!" I shouted at Adam. He glanced up at me like he was ashamed and I ended up almost jumping over the table – attacking him. My dad wrapped his arms around my waist as I continued to scream at Adam, screaming that I thought he was my friend. Once my dad had me across the kitchen, holding me against the fridge, Adam got up and said, "Dude! I am your friend which is why I'm trying to help you!"

I snorted and looked away. The kitchen was quiet, and there was an awkward tension in the air. Dad was still standing in front of me, his hands were placed on my shoulders and my mom walked over to me and placed a hand on the top of my head. I looked up at her and switched my gaze to my father, and then to Dr. West and the person standing behind him.

Adam whispered, "Eli please, you just have to talk to someone…"

I sighed shakily and bowed my head. My fists had clenched and shook at my sides. I felt like I was about to fucking explode, I needed some air – but I know that my parents wouldn't let me leave until I finished talking to my therapist. So, I walked around my dad and headed into the living room, and sat down on the couch. My body was already shaking from anxiousness, so I couldn't control the erratic tapping of my foot against the floor.

Dr. West and the other woman walked into the living room and they took seats on the opposite side of the living room.

"Eli, this is Miss. Portman, she will be joining us from now on, now, let's get this over with, shall we?" He asked.

I glared at him in response, and lifted my hand up so I could chew nervously on my thumbnail. I didn't find this to be quite appealing, but what can I say – there's not much I could do at this point.

"What happened last night?" Was the first thing he asked me – I scoffed, clearly annoyed. As I leaned back and slouched on the couch I answered, "Adam and I snuck out to go walking, he saw a dog and became chicken shit scared, so when I walked by it, it attacked me, I ended up brutally killing it because it was trying to fucking bite me and shit." Not the best explanation, but it wasn't the worst; Dr. West blinked a few times at me, as if what I just said went it one ear and out the other.

Mom, dad, and Adam walked out of the kitchen and were standing behind the couch that my therapist was sitting at.

"Eli, why do you think your family and friend called us over here?" Miss. Portman asked.

"Because they're concerned? How the fuck should I know, I just woke up and they decided to call you two." I responded.

Clearly, I was getting a little agitated. It was now starting to kick in that Adam told my parents what happened, and now I was walking towards the line of getting the longest lecture on how "killing animals is bad". Dr. West and Miss. Portman sat there, glaring at me curiously – like they didn't believe a word that I just said.

I turned to Adam and asked, "What exactly did you tell them Adam?"

Adam quickly turned to me and he swallowed hard. I narrowed my eyes at him and snapped, "What did you tell them!"

"I just said that you killed a dog!" Adam responded quickly.

I barked out a laugh and screamed, "And you didn't have the decency to tell them that I was getting attacked by a fucking rabies infested dog?" The entire room full of people flinched at my sudden outburst. I clenched my hair in my hands and pulled hard at the roots from frustration. My leg was tapping furiously on the floor and I started to grab and pull on my pants.

"Eli, calm down or you're going to have an anxiety attack." Mom said as she got up close to me.

"No! You guys don't fucking care! You're only doing this so you have a reason to invite this bastard and his stupid bitch assistant over!" I screamed, standing up and waving an accusing finger at my mother. She backed up and I started laughing nervously, a maniacal nervous laugh.

"Eli you have to calm down." Dr. West said as he stood up and walked to me but I shoved him off. My breathing became shallow and seconds later my chest became really tight.

"Y-you guys suck, all of you!" I wheezed as I sat down on the floor, my back leaning against the couch. Mom shoved Dr. West and Miss. Portman out of the way and she sat down next to me. Mom wrapped her arms around my shoulders and I leaned into her while trying to regain my breathing to a calmer state. She glanced over at the doctors and said, "Maybe you should go." Maybe? They need to get the fuck out, NOW! I clung on to my mom when she tried to get up.

"Just leave, get out. Now." Dad said.

The doctors almost bolted out of the living room and out the front door when my dad started to scream at them. Adam stayed behind of course, but I didn't want him there. Mom rubbed my back and I sighed shakily. My chest was still pretty tight, but I could breathe normally. I whispered, "Mom, can you make Adam leave… I don't want him here."

I felt her move a bit and I heard Adam sigh. Through my bangs, I watched him exit through the front door. He didn't even look back or tell me goodbye, but that wasn't important. I didn't want him near me, not after what he just did.

"Eli, do you want anything?" Mom asked.

"No…" I pulled away from her and continued; "I'll just… I want to go lay down." Mom let me go and I smiled reassuringly at my parents when they eyeballed me curiously. I didn't want them to think I was going to do something "harmful" to myself, even though deep down I wanted to grab the nearest sharpest item and see how it ends there. When I entered my room I shut the door behind me, closed the blinds and dark curtains so my room can be pretty dark, and I dead weight my body onto the bed.

I sighed and smiled. It felt really good to lie down. My eyes closed as I blindly looked for my thick comforter, once I found it, I pulled it over my body and head. As much as I wanted to fall into deep sleep, I couldn't because I was already awake.

Every so often, I would hear my door open and my mom, thinking I was asleep, would walk up next to my bed, ruffle my hair softly and whisper that she loved me. I would shift around and turn the other way, and she would walk out. When the door closed, I sat up and yawned while rubbing my eyes. When I looked around to check what time it was, I frowned. I had been in this room for almost a half hour.

I kicked my blankets off and pushed my curtains open and then opened the blinds. Across the road, there was a car parked in Clare's driveway. Clare and her friend Alli walked out through the front door, and headed to the car. Clare looked really upset as she hugged her friend goodbye. The second Alli closed the door to the car, it had already started pulling out of the driveway, and drove down the road. I closed my blinds and stepped back. The door to my room opened and I flinched when the light was turned on.

"Oh, Eli, you're up. Are you feeling okay? Do you need anything? Are you hungry?"

"Mom what is this? Twenty questions, I'm fine." I laughed.

She smiled sheepishly and nodded. Mom said, "Well, your father and are going to be heading out, we may not be coming back home until late tonight." I frowned and swallowed hard. My weight shifted on to my right leg and I asked, "Where um, where are you guys going?" The thought of leaving me alone tonight made me a little uneasy for some reason. I enjoyed being home alone at times, it's just right now since my family is coming together in the slowest ways possible, I didn't want them to leave me.

"We're going out to lunch and seeing a movie." She looked happy when she said this, so, I just smiled and nodded.

"Will you be okay by yourself?" Mom asked.

I nodded again and she walked to me and wrapped her arms around me, kissing the top of my head. She ruffled my hair and I looked away. Mom walked out of my room and I was left alone standing there.

I puffed my cheeks up with air and slowly let it out while glancing around my room as if I could find something to do. After what Adam did this morning, I don't think I'd be hanging out with today. I know he did it to help, but he didn't tell them the entire story, which caused them to think that I was killing again. It's a good thing they didn't and haven't found out about the cat I killed about a week ago.

After standing in my room for what seemed like hours, I walked out and the second I stepped into the living room, my parents had made their way out the front door. I headed to the couch, and laid down on it while grabbing the remote. I turned the TV on, and flipped lazily through the channels until something piqued my interest.

Friday the 13th was playing and I quickly flipped back to the channel and placed the remote on my stomach and I folded my arm behind my head. It didn't take long for my alone time to get interrupted. The doorbell rang and I brought my hands up to my face and groaned loud. I lazily got up and walked to the front door, and opened it. My face immediately lit up when I was greeted with the most gorgeous smile and beautiful blue eyes.

"What are you doing here Clare?" I asked, trying to hide the biggest goofy grin on my face.

"We have yet to finish watching Mirrors; I figured we could, you know, hang out and finish watching it." She responded sweetly.

I nodded and stepped to the side and invited Clare in. She walked to the living room and sat down on the couch, placing the DVD next to her, since we don't have a coffee table anymore. I closed the door and made my way next to her. Clare smiled at me as I grabbed the DVD, and walked to the DVD player and slipped the CD in. Once the TV was set up, I reached for the DVD remote and made my way back to the couch.

I sat down next to her, and Clare instantly leaned into me.

She laid her head on my shoulder and placed her legs over my lap, her body was pressed against my side. I wrapped my arm around her and pressed my cheek against the top of her head. As the title screen appeared on the TV I quickly searched through the scene selections and chose the one where I think we left off at; I set the remote down on the floor.

Clare shifted and sighed a little. Her breath tickled my neck and my breath hitched. I swallowed nervously and Clare lifted her head. She glanced up at me with her big blue eyes and asked, "Eli is something the matter?"

I shook my head quickly and glued my eyes back to the TV. Clare did the same and we continued to watch this gore fest of a movie. Occasionally I would glance down at Clare, and watched her smile when something bloody happened. I smirked. Clare being a huge fan of blood and gore just made me love her that much more. Jenna wasn't much of a blood and gore type of girl.

She practically smothered me with stupid chick flicks and those other entire little kiddy fairytale movies. I gagged at the sudden though.

Clare moved her body, and moved so she was lying on her side. I chewed nervously on my bottom lip and Clare turned her head to look at me. She smiled and stated, "Eli, will you cuddle with me?" I blushed and cleared my throat. Clare's bottom lip poked out and she pouted just a little. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes, but I ended up lying down on my side behind her. Clare grabbed my arm and wrapped it around her waist. I instinctively pulled her closer to my chest, and savored the moment of how warm her body was against mine.

For the time being, Clare had been focusing her attention to the screen, while my fingertips were ghosting up and down the exposed skin on her bicep and half her arm, because she had her lacy white arm warmers on. The movie was paused and I quickly pulled my hand back, thinking that I had done something bad. Clare had turned on her back and she was looking up at me, her arms were folded across her stomach.

I looked down at her, scanning her face. Clare smiled up at me and she reached up, her hand snaked around the back of my head and her index finger traced over the scar there. I closed my eyes and sighed softly. She started to push my head down to her and her lips met mine. Her mouth moved over mine, and her tongue grazed my bottom lip.

I opened my mouth to her and she crushed our lips harder over each other's – which in response caused us both to moan. I cupped her cheek and stroked her cheekbone with my thumb as our tongues swirled around in our mouths, tasting each other. She leaned up and I softly pulled away and whispered, "Don't force it."

Clare blushed and she looked away.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to… sorry."

"Don't apologize." I said, tucking her hair behind her ear. Clare nodded and she chewed on her bottom lip, and I couldn't help but watch her when she did this. She looked so…

"Will you kiss me?" Clare had interrupted my perverted thoughts and I smirked and nodded. My lips moved to hers, but she stopped me. I pinned my eyebrows together and she brought my head down to her neck. Clare whispered, "Kiss me here… I-I liked it when you kissed my neck." I could practically hear how nervous she was, as much as I didn't want to do this, because of the fear that Clare would start freaking out, I didn't refuse on the offer.

So, I placed kisses up and down her neck, directly over her pulsing vein.

I heard her let out an appreciative moan from her lips when I sucked on the middle of her neck. Clare's hand moved from my shoulder to the back of my head and she clenched my hair in her fingers. I moaned against her flesh and kissed my way back up to her lips. Our teeth clashed with each other's but, Clare didn't seem to mind, because she started to kiss me aggressively. Her hands were all over my body; she slipped them under my shirt and touched my back.

I shuddered and pulled my lips back, creating a light smacking sound. Clare looked up at me through half lidded eyes and I brushed my thumb across her lips.

Clare sat up and I did the same, but she moved to sit on my lap, and she softly pushed at my chest, making me move back to lie on the couch. I swallowed hard and blushed, hoping that Clare couldn't feel my growing need in my pajama pants. She was wearing loose black cargo capris, with a white tank top that had a black bead design on it, with her white arm warmers – I wished I had changed into something more… appealing instead of a pair of pajama pants and a white short sleeve V-neck. Clare stared down at me, waiting for me to do something.

I grabbed her arm softly, and pulled her arm warmer off, revealing her purple scars, but my eyes were fixated on the newly fresh cut on her arm. My fingers traced the burning red letters that were carved into her arm.

"Clare, what happened?" I asked.

"It's nothing… I was just jumping to conclusions when you didn't want to tell me what was wrong yesterday…" Clare whispered. I frowned. Clare cut herself, because of me? I chewed on my bottom lip, trying to stop it from quivering. My eyes moved from her face, to her carved in words, and I leaned up to place a kiss over each letter. Her skin was warm, and after I was finished, I placed a long kiss over the cuts.

Clare smiled softly and she did the same by grabbing my arm. Her fingers grazed over my faded cuts and I watched her intently as she placed kisses up and down my arm.

I almost moaned at the loss when she pulled away.

Clare shrugged her shoulders a little and I grinned. She shifted around and I clenched my jaw, still hoping she wouldn't feel the problem growing between my legs. When I heard her moan a little, I blushed and hid my face behind my hair.

"Eli, um… are you okay?" Clare asked softly.

"Mhmm." I nodded. She brushed my hair from my face and smiled at me. I smiled in return, and she moved off my lap. Clare's face turned really bright red and I instantly clenched my legs together and blushed too. I apologized nervously, "Sorry, sorry…" Clare giggled and she placed her hand over her mouth. I blushed and turned away, not looking at her.

"It's um… it's okay, Eli." Clare said.

I was too busy thinking of something horrific to get rid of this problem to even hear what Clare had just said to me. She pulled my legs down and crawled up, lying down next to me on the couch. Since the couch was a little small, we were scrunched up really close to each other. Clare had to drape her leg over my waist, and she moved really close to me, her hand was on my chest, and I had moved my arm around her, keeping her body plush against mine.

"Hey Eli." Clare murmured.

"Yeah." I responded.

"Let's trade secrets." Clare said a little too excitedly. I arched my eyebrow and she smiled at me, placing her chin on my chest. I sighed and nodded. Clare squeaked and said, "Okay, I'll go first… when you and I first met, I think I had the biggest crush on you." I chuckled. "You think?" Clare nodded and I smiled and kissed her temple.

"Your turn."

"Okay, when I first met you, you made me the most nervous and shy person ever, and I'm not either of those things." I responded. Clare awed and I rolled my eyes and turned away, trying to hide the blush that colored my cheeks. Clare giggled and she said, "I think that's cute." She leaned up and kissed the corner of my mouth.

For about thirty minutes, I had learned a lot more about Clare, and she learned a lot more about me. She told me about her ex-boyfriend and what happened between them. I don't understand how her asshole of a boyfriend could ever lay a finger on Clare. She's just so gentle and fragile. Clare doesn't deserve that. She moved here about a week after they broke up. I went into detail about what happened between Jenna and me to Clare. She was on the verge of tears when I told her that Jenna showed the entire school and then that same night, I had my first suicide attempt. I told Clare not to cry, not to feel bad or upset for me, but she said that it's hard, because… if I had died that night, then there was not going to be any point in time where she and I could meet.

"You know, I know it's almost been a month, but I still you know… wonder where my dog went." Clare said, and my heart stopped.

"What was um… his name?" I asked, trying to keep calm.

"Charlie." Clare responded.

I remained quiet, staring blankly at the ceiling. Clare sighed and started to draw fake circles over my chest here and there. I licked my suddenly dry lips and swallowed hard.

"Well, you won't be seeing him for a while." I said after a short pause.

"I know, I was just you know saying… maybe somebody found him and is taking care of him." Clare smiled a little at the thought; she glanced at me curiously when I shook my head and her. I closed my eyes and sighed heavily. Clare leaned back sat up as well as me and cocked her head to the side. I reached up to run my fingers through my hair, and I absentmindedly clenched the roots.

Clare reached up and held my face in her hands and she asked, "What's wrong? Are you okay?"

"Clare, your dog—is _dead_." I said in a quiet almost silenced tone. But, I'm sure Clare heard me.

"What? How do you know? Did you see him?" She asked all too quickly.

I shook my head and started to immediately regret even bringing this subject up. Clare took my hand in hers and whispered, "Eli please tell me."

"Clare I kind of… killed your dog. But, I didn't know it was yours, I thought it was just a random dog, I felt so bad when you asked me the next day if I've see him… Clare you have to believe that I didn't know it was yours." I said pleadingly and all too quickly. It took every will power that I had not to look at Clare. She slowly pulled her hands from me, and leaned back. I sighed and took a giant leap to look over at her. Clare had tears pouring down her cheeks and her mouth was ajar. I reached up to wipe her tears away, but Clare had already moved off the couch.

"You killed my dog!" She screamed.

I flinched.

"Clare, I didn't know… I really didn't know." I looked down, practically feeling ashamed of myself. Clare whimpered and I got up to stand up close to her. She had her head bowed and I reached down touched her cheek, and said in a quiet tone to look at me. Clare slowly lifted her gaze, and my chest already started to hurt from the sight in front of me. Clare's eyes were already bloodshot and tear stained. I felt so bad. I felt horrible, stupid, and pathetic. I shouldn't have mentioned this to her.

"S-so when we—we were looking for him—you knew all this time? You knew, and y-you didn't tell me." Her voice cracked and I wrapped my arms around her. Clare whimpered and softly pushed at my chest. I looked down at her and she sniffled.

"I have to go… I don't—I don't want to even look at you right now, don't call me… don't text me." Clare whispered.

"No—no Clare don't go, please…" I pleaded.

I reached to grab her wrists after she grabbed the arm warmer that lay on the couch and slipped it on. Clare pulled her arm away but I held onto it tightly, and she demanded, "Let go." I watched her leave out the front door. Clare didn't look back, not once. I sat back on the couch, and buried my face in my hands, and started a series of uncontrollable sobs. How could I have been so damn stupid? Why could I just left it alone, or just dropped the damn subject.

I wouldn't be surprised if Clare called me some time tomorrow and told me she wanted to break up…

Her telling me that I couldn't call her or text her was probably leading down the road of "we're breaking up". I knew this shit would happen! I just fucking knew it… The minute I tell a girl that I love them; I do something stupid to fuck it up. For a moment there, I actually thought Clare and I would last, clearly, I was wrong.

I got up from the couch and walked to the bathroom in the living room, and opened the medicine cabinet, rummaging quickly through the different assortment of pills inside orange and white bottles. A few bottles fell into the sink and I soon found my prescribed pills – the pills that I hardly ever took. The bottle was not even half empty. I sniffled and twisted the cap off. Once it was off I poured almost all of the little blue pills into my hand, leaving like ten of them left.

I swallowed hard and licked the corner of my mouth.

With my friend hand I grabbed the cup on the sink, and opened the faucet, filling the cup up with water. I placed the pills in my mouth and swallowed it down with water. My therapist told me that I couldn't take a lot of these at once, because of the effect that they have. They were strong, and the possibilities of the bad things that could happen were endless.

I was already toppling out of the bathroom as I made my way to the couch. My body crashed over the couch where Clare and I were previously laying on. I could smell her soft honey vanilla scent and I sighed and closed my eyes, waiting for the effects of the pills to kick in.

The image of Clare popped into my head and I felt the tears fall through my closed eyes, and damp the fabric on the couch.

End of Chapter 23

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Did Clare and Eli break up? Is Eli going to be sent away? What's going to happen? Oh my this is getting intense ;) The two-shot I have planned for Alibis, The Brightside, keep an eye out for it! So, reviews are in order. The next chapter, I will try to have posted this coming up weekend :) So, yeah leave me some reviews! Miss. Edwards should be updated some time this week too, if not, then haha, I must tell you that I'm taking a break, I need to rest. You guys won't mind right?

I'll be like, taking a break for about a week haha.

Anyhoo, see you guys soon, I hope you guys liked this chapter!

Sorry it was so short D;


	24. if you'll be my star, i'll be your sky

Disclaimer: Degrassi is something I don't own, sadly… I do own Eli's five year old cousin though, Maureen.

A/N: Thanks for the reviews! They really made my day! I enjoy reading them, anyway so, Maureen will be showing up in this chapter, but not really for long, because of well, I don't really want to say without spoiling it. But um, yeah, this will be entirely on Clare's point of view, Yeah, um… enjoy!

Warnings: This is the first time for some physical action, you have been warned.

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Alibis

Summary: Waiting for change to lead him down a more innocent path, death obsessed Elijah Goldsworthy finds it in a blue eyed beauty, but perhaps with an even darker past than his own.

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CHAPTER 24

"Clare you've been staring at your food for far too long now, what's going on, you haven't said a single word since you came back from Eli's house." Darcy stated. The minute she said his name, fresh tears started pouring from my eyes and streamed down my cheeks, and dripped at my chin. Just thinking about him makes me so upset. Not only am I upset that he killed my dog, but I'm also upset that he kept it from me for so long.

Especially since he went to look for him with me…

"Clare, why are you crying?" Darcy asked.

"Nothing, I just have something in my eye. When did mom and dad say they were going to be home?" I asked while getting up from the kitchen table. Darcy looked at the clock and shrugged her shoulders responding while she dunked her spoon into her cereal, "They should be home in like, a few hours or so, why?"

I shook my head at her and decided to leave for Eli's house again. I needed to see him. As much as how angry I am at him, I still can't go a day without talking to him. He looked really upset when I left, and I just need to see if he's okay. When I walked out the front door, I bolted across the lawn and up the steps of Eli's house. I knocked on the door, and waited to be greeted by bloodshot eyes.

I rocked back and forth on my heels and glanced around.

Again, I knocked on the door when I didn't get a response. I could swear about five minutes had gone by and I didn't get a response. I was starting to get a little worried. I rang the doorbell and stepped back. I frowned and sighed shakily. I guess Eli didn't want to talk to me. I wouldn't if he did the same to me. Just when I turned around, a car pulled up and I panicked.

Out climbed a small girl, and a middle aged looking man. He took her hand and walked up the steps.

"Good afternoon." He smiled at me.

"Hi—um, Eli isn't answering the door, just thought I should let you know, if you're here to see him that is." I said.

"Oh? He said he was going to be here today." The man said, the little girl looked up at me and I smiled at her. She blushed and hid her face behind her father's legs. He walked up the steps and knocked on the door. I glanced down when I felt someone tugging on my pants. Glancing down, I was greeted with big blue eyes. She said, "I'm Maureen, what's your name?" I squatted down to her height and smiled responding, "I'm Clare." Maureen smiled wide, she had the cutest toothy grin, and I got up and pat her head. When I looked at the front door, I realized it was opened. I narrowed my eyes and blinked a few times.

The man walked out and demanded, "Call 911."

"Why?" I asked.

"Just do it!" He screamed, tossing me his phone. I squeaked and caught it, grabbing it and flipping it open. As I dialed the number, I walked into the house, Maureen followed after me and the second I stepped into the living room, my heart stopped and my eyes grew wide. Lying on the couch, pale as ever, was Eli – I dropped the phone and ran to him.

"Eli? Eli are you okay?" I asked, shaking him slightly. His face was really pale, and when I reached up to brush his bangs from his forehead, his skin was really cold. Oh no… I shook him harder, but didn't get a single response, only silence. The man had pulled on my shoulders trying to get me back. He was soon screaming into the phone I had dropped earlier, and telling the person on the other line that they need to hurry up.

"Maureen, stay back."

"Daddy, i-is Eli going to be okay? Is he going to be okay?" She asked.

I clenched my hair at the roots and buried my head in my knees. Was this my fault? Did I drive Eli to do this? What did he do? I didn't even see any cuts or anything on him. All of these questions were boiling in my mind and I still hadn't the slightest idea what Eli did. I felt someone tapping the top of my head and lifted it up, I was soon staring into the biggest blue eyes, which were stained with tears and were bloodshot.

"E-Eli isn't moving! Eli's—Eli's dead!"

Out of instinct, my eyes grew wide, and I was surprised that I still had tears left because of how hard I was crying when I got home earlier; tears poured down my cheeks and my vision was blurred. Eli couldn't be dead… he can't be!

…

…

Toronto Hospital

2 Hours Later

…

…

"Clare, Eli will be fine." Darcy continued to tell me.

She's been telling me that for the past two hours, and we have yet to receive any word from the doctors about him. Mom and dad had arrived about an hour after Darcy and I drove to the hospital. Eli's parents and his uncle and cousin arrived just a few minutes after my parents did. We've been sitting in the emergency room for what seemed like forever. Each time the doors would open, our heads would lift up and then our hopes would die when we realized it was just a random person.

I sighed and glanced over at Eli's parents.

CeCe was crying, heavily, her make-up was smudged under her eyes. She looked devastated, upset, torn, broken, everything that I felt just now. She was held by Eli's dad, cradling her in his strong arms. I sniffled and looked down at the floor.

"Mr. and Mrs. Goldsworthy."

Everybody's head shot up and CeCe and Bullfrog quickly got up and walked to the doctor. I couldn't help myself, and I did the same. Standing next to them, I waited patiently for the doctors to tell us the news. He pushed his glasses up to the bridge of his nose and sighed heavily. "Eli is going to be fine. We had to pump his stomach from the amount of pills he consumed. You may go see him, but I must warn you, he's a little on edge, he told me he didn't want to see anybody. He's in room 103."

"I don't care if he doesn't want to see anybody, he's my baby! I need to see him." CeCe shoved the doctor out of the way and bolted through the doors. Bullfrog followed and I looked back at Darcy and my parents. They gave me a small sign that it was okay for me to go with them. I smiled through my tears and turned around, walking through the doors, and turning around the corner, looking at each door, desperately searching for Eli's room.

Once I found it, I pushed it open, and found CeCe holding onto Eli's hand, and pressing her cheek against it, whimpering and crying that she was glad Eli was alive. I licked my lips and turned around; I think they need some time alone, before I could talk to Eli.

"_Clare_."

I stopped in the doorway, and closed my eyes, sighing shakily at the sound of Eli calling me.

I didn't want to turn around and look at him. I could hear my heart pounding heavily in my ears, and I turned around slowly.

"We'll leave you two alone." CeCe said.

I watched her get up and leave, and I felt kind of bad, because I know she wanted to talk to Eli. CeCe placed a hand on my shoulder and Bullfrog smiled faintly at me as they left the room. The door was closed behind us and I instantly felt a great amount of tension growing in the room. Eli wasn't staring directly at me, but I was. My eyes were fixated on his bowed head. I walked to the side of the bed, and wrapped my arms around his neck, but he didn't respond.

When I pulled away, I sat down on the bed, and took Eli's hand in mine. He looked up at me, slowly. His jade eyes were full clouded with fear. I didn't want to ask him why he did what he did, even though I was as curious as to why Eli tried to kill himself. Eli was clenching and unclenching his fists and his breathing was sharp. I waited him to speak. Waited for him to tell me what is wrong. Eli licked his lips and he looked at me through his dark lashes. I waited…

He swallowed hard, and opened his mouth to speak, but closed it seconds later. I reached up and tucked my hair behind my ear, and looked around the entire room. The only sound that was heard was the heart monitor, Eli's heavy breathing, and my heart pounding in my ears. To say that I was nervous would be an understatement; I was _terrified_ right now.

"Do you—Do you still… _hate_ me?"

I looked up quickly when Eli asked this. Do I hate him? Of course I don't hate him…

"Eli what makes you think I hate you?" I asked.

"You left me… you left me alone… I just—I knew something bad would happen after I told you that I loved you… I always fuck everything up…" Eli whispered. I understood now. I had never felt so horrible in my entire life… Eli did this, because of me. I choked on a sob, and began crying heavily. Eli lifted his head to look at me and he grasped my hand and questioned why I was crying.

I sniffled and wiped my tears away with my arm warmer.

"You did this because of me… you tried to kill yourself because of me Eli…" I whimpered. He bowed his head and swallowed hard. I brought my hands up to my face and sobbed uncontrollably in them. I felt Eli's bed move and he reached over and grabbed my wrists, pulling my hands from my face. I looked up at him and my chest soon had a pain growing that I found to be quite unbearable. Eli had tears pouring down his cheeks and he looked ready to just burst into a series of sobs. He pulled on my wrist, and I took a hint that he wanted me closer to him. I soon was lying next to Eli on the small hospital bed.

His arms were wrapped around me and his cheek rested on the top of my head. I closed my eyes and moved so my head was rested on Eli's chest; when I heard his slightly fast beating of his heart, I sighed and smiled gently.

"Clare, I'm sorry… I just when you left me… I thought—you didn't love me anymore…" Eli whimpered.

I looked up and frowned at him. Eli sniffled and I reached up and wiped the remaining tears that stained his cheeks. I cupped his face and placed a small kiss on his lips. The kiss lasted for a while. I pulled away and rested my forehead against his and whispered against his lips, "Eli I would never stop loving you… I _promise_." Eli nodded and I instantly pulled away from him when we heard the door open.

"Good evening, I assume you're feeling better Elijah?"

"Who are you?" He asked while I moved off the bed, holding his hand in mine for support.

"I'm Dr. Rhodes from St. Carson's Mental Health Facility."

I glanced at Eli and then back at the doctor. Clearing my throat I said, "I'll leave you two alone." When I got up, Eli grabbed my arm, and I turned to look at him. Pleadingly, he said, "Please don't go… I don't want you to leave." I chewed on my bottom lip and looked over at the doctor, who nodded curtly, telling me it was okay for me to stay. I sat down on the bed next to Eli, and waited to hear what this doctor had to say.

"I would just like to inform you, that I have already talked to your parents, and they think it's best for you to stay with us for a little while." Dr. Rhodes said. I could feel Eli tensing up and he said, "I don't want to go… you can't make me." Dr. Rhodes shook his head and he shrugged slightly.

"I'm sorry Eli, but your parents already signed the forms earlier today. They think it's a good idea, you're a mentally ill child, and we want to help." Dr. Rhodes explained. Eli clenched his fists and I rubbed the back of his hand soothingly with my thumb. Eli muttered incoherent words, and I said, "Eli this might be good for you."

"But that means I'd have to leave you… and Adam…" He responded.

"Eli, your friends will have the chance to visit you, it'll only be for a few weeks." Dr. Rhodes said, not promising. I glanced at Eli and it looked like he wanted to throw the chair next to his bed out the window. The deep dark look in his eyes was scary to me, but I didn't care. I would be upset if my parents enrolled me into a mental health facility without my knowing. Dr. Rhodes smiled just slightly when Eli nodded. He said, "I'll see you next week." Dr. Rhodes left the room and I sighed heavily. Eli didn't say a word, but I wasn't surprised.

He lay back on the bed, and stared up at the ceiling.

I pushed his bangs out of his face and that's when I realized that the color on Eli's face returned from being so pale, to his tanned tone. The door to the room was opened again, and Eli's cousin slowly bounced in. She squealed Eli's name and I moved off the bed while she climbed on it, and threw her tiny body over Eli's.

"Elijah, you almost died!" She cried.

"I'm sorry…"

"Promise you won't do it again, okay! Promise me!" Maureen pulled back and she held her small pinky up and I couldn't help but smile. Eli wrapped his pinky around Maureen's and she hugged him tight. Eli enveloped his arms around her and I saw sadness in his eyes. Eli had told me a few times that he and Maureen were very close to each other, and I could only imagine what would've happened if he left her. The very thought brought tears to my eyes, and I didn't realize that her father had walked into the room.

"Maureen, sweetheart it's time to go now."

"No, I want to stay with Eli!" She pleaded.

"I'm sorry cupcake, but Eli needs his rest, you can come back tomorrow." He said while picking her up and placing her on his waist.

"No, no! Eli! I want to stay with Eli!" Maureen cried. It pained me to hear her cries, and I chewed on my bottom lip to stifle my cries. I sat down on the chair, and folded my arms next to Eli's legs and placed my head over them. Eli remained quiet for what seemed like eternity. Every now and then, his parents would come in and talk to him, telling him that what they did was because they love him and that they want to help. I understood, but Eli didn't seem fazed by their way of caring for him. Every time I would get up to leave, Eli would hold on to me, and begged me to stay. I was starting to think that he did this because of what I did earlier. He was scared. I could tell he was. His parents left the room after talking to them, they said that the will be going home to get a few things, and then come back to see him. My dad walked into the room.

"Clare-bear, we're leaving now."

I frowned, and swallowed hard. I didn't want to leave Eli alone. He looked so desperate to me being there with him, and I think I should stay a little while longer. It was only eight thirty, and it wasn't that late. I could have my parents come and pick me up later on tonight.

"Daddy is it okay if… I stay with Eli a while longer?"

Of course, I expected him to say no, but he nodded his head, walked to me and kissed the top of my head. I smiled a little, and watched him leave. My father and I have been getting along more since I stood up to him a few days ago. My family is slowly turning around, slowly, but surely. And, I was happy.

"You can come pick me up later on tonight." I said.

"That's fine Clare-bear, I'll leave you my phone so we can call and make sure you're doing okay." Dad said. I nodded and he walked out of the room. I turned to Eli and he motioned for me to sit on the bed with him. I made my way on it and pressed my body against his side, while he wrapped his arms around me. I traced the designs on Eli's hospital gown and blushed. Normally when people are in hospital gowns, they _don't wear anything underneath_…

"I love you, Clare." Eli whispered.

I smiled and looked up at him. Eli placed a kiss on my forehead and I blushed.

"I love you too, Eli." I responded.

Eli tightened his hold on me and I could hear his heart beat becoming erratic, fast; very, very fast. I knew he was going to say something, because I heard him sigh. Eli whispered, "Promise me… you won't leave me, Clare." I looked up at him, and gazed into his pleading green eyes. Eli looked scared for a moment. His jade eyes burned holes into my skin, and I had to look away for a brief moment. I took his hand in mine, kissed his palm and whispered, "I promise Eli, I promise I would never leave you."

With that said, he dipped down and pressed his lips over mine, kissing me with so much passion. Eli cupped my face and I slowly parted my lips when his tongue traced my bottom lip, and when his teeth tugged gently on it. His tongue slowly moved into my mouth, and I whimpered as his tongue explored my mouth. Our tongues slowly massaged against each other's. I sighed, enjoying the distinct taste of Eli. He had always tasted so sweet, but there was another taste that was just him. Eli pulled away, but continued to place small chaste kisses on my lips.

"Ahem."

Eli and I instantly pulled away from each other.

"Mom, what are—never mind, what is it?" Eli asked.

"I snuck you something to drink from home, I know you're not supposed to have anything outside of the hospital, but I know you're probably in dire need to having a raspberry lemonade." CeCe held up a large water bottle full of bright pink fluid, and I smiled, warmly. Eli smiled and he held his hand out. I watched as CeCe handed him the bottle, and he chugged half of the beverage down. He sighed and muttered, "Thanks mom…"

"That's what I'm here for Eli. Well, I'll leave you two alone, holler if you need anything." CeCe said. I wanted to tell her that I should leave, and she should talk to Eli, but CeCe had already gone and left the room. I was a little hungry, and the loud growl that erupted in my stomach kind of notified my hunger as well. I blushed and Eli said, "You can get something to eat if you want." I swallowed nervously and nodded.

"I'll be back." I stated.

Eli nodded and I kissed him before I walked out of the room. I realized that I didn't have any money because I was planning on getting something from the vending machine, and sighed. I reached into my pocket and pulled my dad's phone out, and dialed the house number.

"Hello? Clare?"

"Hey daddy, um, is it okay if you can come up here and give me some money? I need something to eat." I said into the phone. I walked up and down the hallway, waiting for my dad to respond.

"Yeah, I guess I can do that. Is five dollars okay?" He asked.

"Yeah! That's fine. I'll see you in a little bit; I'll be waiting out front." I said cheerfully. He hung up the phone and I did too while I walked out of the hallway, into the lobby, and out the front doors. It shouldn't take him long, since I don't live far from the hospital to be honest. After waiting for about five minutes, I began to become uneasy. Just the thought of leaving him alone made my stomach churn.

"Dad… please hurry." I whispered.

While desperately looking around for my father's car, I shoved my hands into the pockets of my cargo capris and tapped my foot on the ground. Moments later, my father's car had pulled up and he got out of the car and walked to me, handing me a five dollar bill. I smiled and kissed his cheek before hugging him tight. I waved him goodbye, and walked back inside. Since I didn't want to waste any more time, I practically bolted to the cafeteria.

I wasn't as hungry as I thought when I looked at the cafeteria food.

So instead, I changed the five I had into all ones and grabbed a water and crackers from the vending machine.

While walking back to Eli's room, I twisted the cap off the bottle and chugged it down. When I entered his room, Eli was the same way I left him. Eli glanced up when he heard me walking inside. He smiled and I took a seat next to his bed and opened my packet of crackers. Eli frowned, which caused me to blink confusedly at him.

"Is that all you're going to eat?" He asked.

"I'm not that hungry." I admitted honestly. Eli nodded and looked back up at the TV that hung on the wall.

"Mom came in and talked to me…" Eli said.

"What did she say?" I asked while twisting the cap off the bottle.

Eli sighed shakily and I slowly pulled the bottle away from my lips. Eli looked over at me and shrugged his shoulders, smiling a bit faintly. He licked his lips and stated, "She was just… you know telling me again that what she did was for my own good, and that if I'm 'healed' I wouldn't start school late." I smiled a little when Eli used air quotes when he said the word "healed". Eli scooted over on the bed, and he pat the empty spot next to him. I smiled inwardly and rolled my eyes.

I got up from the chair, and sat down next to him. Just like before, I curled up against him and he wrapped his arm around me. His body was so warm, and I felt content in his arms. Eli kissed the top of my head and I smiled and wrapped my arm around his slender waist. Since Eli's body heat was radiating off his skin, I couldn't help but feel really tired – he was like a blanket, really warm and comforting. I closed my eyes for a brief moment, just to rest them. I felt Eli shift around a bit, and he cupped my face and lifted it so I would be looking up at him, but I left my eyes closed. Feeling Eli's eyes on me made me a little anxious, and I was trying to refrain myself from smiling.

He moved down, and pressed his lips on the corners of my mouth, and shuddered feeling his lips move all over my face, placing soft kisses here and there. When my eyes slowly fluttered open, Eli commanded in a soft tone, "Keep your eyes closed, I want to try something." I nodded slowly and licked my bottom lip as I closed my eyes again. Eli's warm lips were on my skin again, and they moved slowly to my ear. My lips parted and I shuddered, breathing heavily as I felt his tongue peak out and trace the shell of my ear.

I whimpered and Eli suddenly stopped.

"W-what's wrong?" I asked.

"Sorry… sorry… I just—I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable…" Eli blushed and I cocked my head to the side, staring into his jade orbs. I took his hand in mine and whispered, "Eli you didn't make me uncomfortable."

"Are you sure?" He asked, lifting his gaze. I noticed the cute blush on his face and I leaned forward and kissed his cheek.

"Of course not; I love you, Eli…" I whispered.

Eli smiled and he kissed me a little hard. And that kiss somehow made me forget that we were in a hospital room, on the world's most uncomfortable bed.

…

…

11:35 P.M.

…

…

_"Hello? No sir, this is Eli… Clare is sleeping. No—she's fine, she's been asleep for about an hour now. Yeah, I'll tell her, okay… bye." _

"Clare, Clare wake up."

I moaned and turned onto my back, not wanting to wake up. I could feel someone slightly shaking me and my eyes slowly drifted open. I sat up and rubbed the sleep from my eyes and I yawned. The lights were turned off in Eli's room, and the only thing on was the lamp on the nightstand next to his bed. I turned to Eli and asked him what time it was. He grabbed my father's phone and read the time.

"It's eleven thirty five… your father called; he said he's coming to pick you up in a little bit." Eli frowned. I frowned too, because I didn't want to go. I sighed and moved to lie in between Eli's legs, my head fell to his chest. He cleared his throat and I whispered, "You're so warm Eli… don't make me go." I slowly closed my eyes and he sighed.

His hand smoothed up and down my side, rubbing me gently through my tank top. I opened eyes, and looked up at him. Eli started down at me with his smoldering green eyes and I blushed. He asked, "Why are you blushing?"

I smiled a little.

"Nothing, I was just… thinking about something." I responded.

"What are you thinking about?" Eli asked.

I sat up right, my back against his chest, and his arms instantly circled around my waist. My heart was beating rapidly against my rib cage, but I tried to shove the nervousness that I had developing away, and tried my hardest to relax. Eli's head rested on my shoulder, and I could feel his breath tickling my neck. I cleared my throat and said, "Well it's just… I'm glad you and I are together, I didn't think that I would be dating my neighbor, let alone fall in love with him… is it too cliché?"

Eli smirked.

"Cliché? No, I'm glad I'm with you too, and… I did think that I would end up dating my neighbor, I love you Clare, so much…" Eli whispered softly. The huskiness in his tone made me sigh. I turned just slightly so I was facing him and kissed him. For some reason, kissing Eli was something I enjoyed often. He was really good at it, and each time we did kiss, I would feel light headed or have the sudden urge to puke butterflies or something.

Eli cupped my face and I heard him moan as he kissed me harder. I moaned in response, and blushed, feeling his hands move to both sides of my waist. Eli's thumbs moved back and forth over my shirt and I shifted a little.

His hands moved up and my breath hitched. I pulled away and looked into his eyes, my teeth tugged on my bottom lip as his hands stayed caressing my sides while his thumbs slowly and carefully moved back and forth over the sides of my breasts.

"Is this okay? Do you want me to stop?" He asked against my neck.

I licked my suddenly dry lips and let out a shaky breath. The brushing of Eli's thumbs on the side of my breasts made it hard for me to think, and certain places to grow a bit tension filled. I clenched my legs together as they began to shake uncontrollably. Eli kissed my neck and moved his lips up to my ear. He whispered, "I don't want you to be uncomfortable with me Clare, I know you're going to react because of… what your dad does to you, but… I just want you to know that… I'm—I want to make you feel good… I know we've been dating for a little while, but—Clare I love you, and I want you to be comfortable with me…"

I smiled.

He was so sweet and considerate to my feelings.

And that thought alone made me love him so much more.

I kissed him, softly. Eli's hand moved down to my waist, and he clenched the fabric there, causing my shirt to jumble up a little. His fingers moved across my stomach and I gasped. His tongue moved into my mouth and I arched my back away from his chest as his fingers danced along my stomach, grazing my belly button and slowly tracing the scar I had there. I whimpered in the kiss, and squeezed my eyes shut when his fingers moved up and traced the underside of my thin bra.

Eli pulled his lips back and whispered against my quivering ones, "Do you want me to stop? Am I going too fast?"

I shook my head and clenched my legs together, and bit my lower lip, trying so hard not to moan as my body shook against his. I tilted my head back against his shoulder and let out a small moan as his fingers moved across the underside of my breasts and he softly cradled my right one in his hand.

"E-Eli…" I whimpered.

His hand slowly massaged my breast; he didn't squeeze it like I had experienced with K.C and my father, he was gentler, more careful… I clenched the bed sheet that covered Eli's legs and pressed my back against his chest. Eli pressed his lips on my neck and some of the skin that was exposed on my shoulders. He licked my warm flesh, and blew cold air over the wet spot, making goose bumps rise on my skin.

His other hand cradled my neglected breast and he was soon massaging them gently.

All I could do was moan – quietly -. I arched my back and bit the side of my cheek as I whined in my throat.

"Ahh!" I gasped shockingly, feeling something hard poking my back. Eli whispered, "Sorry…" I turned to him and noticed the shy look on his face and in his eyes. I licked my lips and he slowly pulled his hands out from under my shirt. I closed my eyes and whimpered from the loss. Eli had a cute blush on his face and I moved off him, and stood next to his bed. He gave me a concerned look and I smiled reassuringly at him.

"My father might be here, I have to go."

Eli frowned. "Okay…"

I picked up my forgotten bottle of water and the wrapper to my crackers. I turned to Eli and kissed him on the cheek, and then on the lips chastely. He smiled a little and watched me walk out of his room. CeCe had walked by me and she looked really tired.

"Oh, I was just about to get you, your father is here. He's waiting outside." I smiled and nodded, telling her thank you. I quickly scurried out of the hospital and looked around for my father's car, which was parked in front of the hospital. I smiled as I climbed into the passenger seat and fastened my seat belt.

"Sorry it took so long Clare-bear, your mother and I was talking to Darcy about how badly she's been behaving with this Peter character." Dad said.

"It's okay, I wasn't in a big hurry to leave." I smiled.

"Tomorrow we're going out of town for a few hours, you can see Eli then." Dad said.

"Oh, o-okay." I responded, trying not to sound disappointed.

I glanced out the window, watching the world go by and sighed one of those pathetic love sighs. My eyes closed and I smiled softly.

Tonight was so… unexpected but, I'm glad it happened.

End of Chapter 24

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Too rushed? Too good? Too everything? Ha ha, seriously was it too rushed? :/ I was a little uneasy about this chapter, I didn't want it to be rushed, seeing as Clare and Eli have only been dating for what about a week? But um, yeah okay, leave me some reviews! Lots and lots of reviews! Reviews make me happy!


	25. relief exists, i find it when i am cut

Disclaimer: Degrassi is something I don't own, sadly… I do own Eli's five year old cousin though, Maureen.

A/N: Hm, I'm so close to reaching 800 reviews! Oh man, I'm so excited! Let's make that happen shall we? :) This chapter is for everybody who reviewed and has stuck with me in this story and never left because of how dark it is! *cries* I love you guys! Anyway *clears throat* there will be alternating POV's in this chapter, but most of it will be centered on Eli. I love writing in his POV, makes me all giggly on the inside X3

It's hard to believe that this story is coming to an end pretty soon D; I'm going to try and post longer chapters so I can get more into the story, I'm not going to have over 35 chapters for this story, so yeah. Oh and the two-shot side story should be posted sometime this week, keep a look out for it! Okay, so, I'm not going to keep you waiting, here's chapter 25!

Oh, before I go I would like to answer a question; the side story The Brightside will only be centered on Eli and Jenna's relationship, like what happened between them and such. Anyway, haha I hope I answered your question, enjoy!

Warnings: More sexiness; as you can see, Clare and Eli are getting close ;) so, yeah. No hate.

* * *

Alibis

Summary: Waiting for change to lead him down a more innocent path, death obsessed Elijah Goldsworthy finds it in a blue eyed beauty, but perhaps with an even darker past than his own.

* * *

CHAPTER 25

After Clare left last night, I hadn't spoken to anybody since. When my parents would come in and have a conversation with me, I would remain silent. When the nurses asked if I needed anything, no answer; when my therapist came in to have a session, I didn't say anything to him, not a single word. I never thought that I would feel so lost without Clare, it's like, as cliché as it sounds, I feel like she's the only one who knows me better than my own family.

I sighed and leaned back on my hospital. The doctor came in earlier and said I should be able to go home today, but I wasn't going to leave until I saw Clare. My attention was focused outside the window where I watched the cars pull in to the parking lot and drive away from the hospital.

"So, you just can't keep yourself out of the hospital, huh?"

My eyes shot to the door and I frowned.

"What are you doing here?" I snarled.

"Dude, you're my best friend, I can't just not check up on you." Adam said as he walked closer to the bed and sat down in the chair. I glared at him and turned away. Adam chuckled. He stated, "So, are you really going to be this way?" I looked at Adam from the corner of my eye and frowned. He placed his hand over mine and I snatched it back. Adam frowned.

"Okay, what did I do?"

"You know damn well what you did… you lied to my parents about the dog incident and then I had to fucking listen to two people who are more corrupted than I am!" I snapped. Adam flinched and he looked down in shame. I crossed my arms across my chest and stared out the window. I could hear Adam shifting uncomfortably in his seat and he sighed long and hard.

"Did you do this, because of me, Eli? Did you put yourself in the hospital because I didn't tell them the entire story about you and the dog?" Adam asked. I frowned, suddenly remembering why I ended up in the hospital in the first place. Clare… I shook my head and turned to Adam. He gave me a look and I sighed shakily. I said, "No, it wasn't you… something happened between me and Clare yesterday and I kind of over reacted." Adam narrowed his eyes and I shrugged my shoulders. He continued to glare at me, and I knew that he wanted the full story. It's not like I had any other choice, so I rested my head back on the pillow and closed my eyes for a moment.

"I told her about… when I killed her dog—

"You told her!" Adam shouted.

"Shut up, and let me finish," He nodded; "After I told her, I said that I didn't know he was hers… and she left me. I thought she didn't love me anymore… or didn't want me anymore so I grabbed my anxiety pills and downed almost the entire bottle, when I woke up, I was here." I explained. Adam blinked a few times and slowly shook his head at me. I expected him to slap me across the face, or punch my arm, but he remained quiet.

After five long minutes, Adam finally spoke.

"So you tried to kill yourself, because of some stupid assumption that Clare left you?" Adam said monotone. I flinched at his words and swallowed hard. He laughed a short laugh and got up from the chair. What Adam said next really made my whole body just break down. It was harsh, and I wasn't expecting it to be honest. I felt tears stinging at the corners of my eyes, but I blinked them back.

"You're _pathetic_, Eli, **always** have been and probably **always **will be."

I watched Adam get up, and storm out of the room. This had given me the chance to let the tears I blinked back to stream down my cheeks. I wasn't sobbing, but crying silently, and staring at my legs buried underneath my blanket. I clenched my fists and let out shaky breaths as I attempted in refraining myself from breaking down.

I bit my bottom lip, hard, and felt the skin break, enough to have blood slowly spill down my chin. I didn't bother in wiping it. A nurse walked in as well as my mom but I ignored them.

"Eli, sweetheart your lip is bleeding." Mom said.

"No shit…" I muttered. The nurse did the "honors" in cleaning the blood from my chin and she checked everything, making sure the machine was working and if I needed anything. Once the nurse left, my mom spoke, "Adam looked upset when he left, did something happen between you two?" Of course something happened. He practically ditched me! Obviously, she didn't even catch a glimpse of me crying, surprise, surprise.

"Eli, what happened?" Mom asked.

"Adam was just… being Adam." I muttered, while my fists continued to clench and unclench beside my legs. Mom frowned and she placed a hand over mine, the one that didn't have the IV needle sticking out of it. I glanced at her and she smiled softly at me. I didn't trust myself to speak at all, because I knew that I would've probably had incoherent words spilling from my lips. I just let my tears fall, and my mom got up to sit on the bed. I leaned forward and buried my head into her shoulder.

"He just… he said that I'm pathetic… that I always have been and probably always will be…" I whimpered. My mom didn't say anything, only rubbed my back in a slow circle. I sniffled and my mom whispered, "Eli, you are not pathetic, you're odd, I'll give you that, but Adam is wrong, and he's going to come back and see the mistake that he's made and apologize to you. You guys are best friends." I tried to believe her, but… Adam normally wouldn't say something so horrid, and actually mean it. I sighed, and pulled away. Mom wiped my tears with her thumb.

"Your father went home to get you some clothes, and saw Clare. He said to tell you, that Clare said she should be coming to check on you in an hour or so." Mom said.

I nodded and smiled.

Just the mentioning of Clare made me feel so much better. Mom got up and said that she was going to get me something to eat from the cafeteria and soon walked out of my room. I sighed shakily and grabbed the remote and turned the TV on, and flipped lazily through the channels. Since it was still early, there was nothing interesting to watch, except for cartoons.

While sighing heavily and placing the remote next to me, I glanced out the window, waiting to see if I could see Clare walking inside. My mom walked into the room and she placed a tray of food in my lap. It looked so disgusting, I swear it was alive. I grimaced, "Mom can't I just wait until I get home to eat? This looks like somebody already ate it." Mom sighed and reached up to rub the back of her head.

"Eli, you haven't eaten in the past two days, you have to eat something, please." She practically begged. I pressed my lips to a thin line and looked down at my food. I picked up the fork and moved the eggs around, and then the grits on the side. I started to eat, just to make my mom happy. Each time I would swallow, I try to hide the face I would make, because it tasted just so horrible. I don't know how people could make patients eat something that tastes so disgusting.

I soon finished forcing myself to eat and pushed my half eaten food away.

Mom smiled warmly at me.

"How was it?"

"Honestly, it was the worst thing I've ever eaten." I responded nonchalantly.

"I'm sorry honey, but I wasn't going to let you go without eating something." She tried to reason with me. I rolled my eyes and she grabbed the tray and finished what I didn't eat. I don't know how she could eat it without making a face. Ugh, just watching her made me sick to my stomach. I grabbed my sheets and covered myself, and turned to my side so I was facing the window.

As minutes went by, I had completely convinced myself that Clare wasn't going to come in. Mom didn't leave the room though. She stayed sitting next to me, rubbing my back and scratching my head every now and then. I found this to be quite relaxing, so I closed my eyes for a brief moment. It wasn't until moments later when I heard that angelic voice that made my heart flutter abnormally.

"Is he sleeping?"

"Oh, hi Clare, haha, no, I don't think he's asleep, try poke his side, he's very ticklish."

I clenched my jaw and mentally cursed at my mother. I wasn't that ticklish, it's just a certain spot under my arm that makes me jump. Clare's finger poked my side but I didn't budge. She continued poking me, until I heard her sigh in frustration. I smirked and was about to turn around and face her, but she had grabbed my under arm and made me let out the biggest girlish squeak ever.

Clare giggled and I turned to face her, glaring at her playfully. I smiled and she leaned down and kissed my forehead and said, "Sorry I was late, had to go out of town for a few hours. How are you feeling?" I shrugged my shoulders in response and sat up. I gave my mom a look and said, "Mom would you um, you know… leave so I can talk to Clare?" She smiled a little and nodded. Mom kissed the top of my head and ruffled my hair before walking out of the room, and closing the door in the process.

I glanced over at Clare and smiled softly at her. She smiled in return. It was quiet between us, and I was starting to get a little nervous.

"So, um… Clare," I started. She looked up at me with a curious expression; "Um, does this mean since you're here and all… does this mean that you forgive me, a-about killing your dog?" I stole a glance from her and watched her sigh just a little. I frowned and looked away. Clare took my hand in hers and she pressed her lips into a line.

"Eli, I'm um… a little upset that you killed my dog, but… after thinking about it last night… you said you didn't know, and I understand that. But, it's just, you know… kind of hard to get over the fact that your boyfriend tells you he killed your dog, and you go off and help her look for a dog that's already dead." Clare responded. I nodded, understanding completely, and I lowered my gaze, feeling ashamed. Clare continued; "But that doesn't mean I don't love you anymore." I looked up at her and smiled. Clare leaned forward and she kissed the corner of my mouth.

"Um, I get out of here today; do you want to maybe… do something with me?" I asked.

"I'd love to do something with you." Clare responded.

"What would you like to do?" I crossed my arms across my chest and watched Clare bit on her lower lip as she thought. I found that to be damn cute and she finally responded after a few minutes, "Let's go to the park!" I smiled and nodded. Clare squeaked and she got up to wrap her arms around my neck. I hugged her back and she pulled away.

Clare was all smiles today, and I was starting to think something may be wrong. I reached over and grabbed her hand and asked, just to be cautious, "Clare, is something wrong?"

She blinked a few times and shook her head. "No, I'm fine… really, why do you ask?" She questioned. I shrugged.

"No reason." I responded after a short pause.

Clare nodded curtly and looked around the room. I watched her intently, even though she said nothing was wrong. I could just tell by her body movement, the way she would fidget, the way she would hesitate in smiling. I think something happened last night when she got home. I didn't want to pester her, I was going to let it go for now; maybe she'll tell me later.

…

…

Eli's House

2 Hours after Leaving the Hospital

…

…

"So, do you have everything that you need?" Clare asked.

"Clare, we're just going to the park, and I'm going to read you a book, I'm sure I have everything." I chuckled. Clare nodded and smiled softly. She got up from my bed and wrapped her arms around my neck and kissed me. I sighed and kissed her back, my arms moving around her waist. The book I had in my hand was dropped to the floor, as I pulled her body much closer to mine. Clare pulled away and I kissed her forehead.

She pulled away and grabbed my hand saying, "Let's go now." I nodded and I grabbed the book from the floor and the blanket she picked out so we could lay on it, and she led me out of my house. We ended up taking my mom's car, since Morty was acting up again. Clare fastened her seatbelt and she glanced out the window as I pulled out of the driveway, and headed to the park. We were both silent on the way there, aside from the soft music playing on the radio. When we arrived, Clare quickly grabbed the blanket that Clare had chosen we lay on. She climbed out, as well as I and I followed her as she looked around for a spot.

She chose a place under a tree, and I watched her lay the blanket out over the bright green grass, and she soon sat with her legs tucked under her. I sat down against the tree, and Clare frowned. She crawled up and sat in between my legs. I shifted around trying to get comfortable, but it was hard, since I was leaning against a tree.

After finding a comfortable position, I opened the book to the first page and started reading. It was one of my favorite short stories by Edgar Allen Poe – The Pit and the Pendulum. Clare had never read it so she insisted I read it to her. Clare rested her head on my shoulder and I glanced down at her for a few moments before I continued reading.

"Hey Eli…"

"Yes?" I asked as I marked the page, and closed the book.

"Remember my ex-boyfriend."

I tensed up at the mention of him, but nodded gently. Clare turned so she was facing me, her shoulder against my chest. She looked sad. I cupped her face and brushed my thumb across her soft lips, and then her cheekbone. Clare sighed shakily and closed her eyes. She licked her bottom lip and looked down. She whispered, "Well he's in town… or is coming to town… to see your ex." I blinked a few times and looked down at the ground.

"What?" I whispered.

"KC is coming to see Jenna. Alli sent me a text before I went to the hospital, and she told me that KC started talking to Jenna online a few weeks ago, and is coming here to meet her." Clare explained. I licked my lips and swallowed hard. KC, her ex, is coming to meet my ex? God, I didn't even know people still did the online dating thing. I felt Clare tense up against me and I held her, close.

"Eli, KC is a dangerous person."

"Clare, he won't come near you, I promise." I responded, and I meant it. If KC ever comes near Clare, I swear on my life, I'll fucking murder him.

"Clare aren't you worried about what might happen to Jenna?"

I scoffed and rolled my eyes. Of course I don't care. Jenna deserves whatever happens to her. Clare frowned when I didn't respond to her. After a short pause, I said, "Clare… I really don't care what Jenna does anymore, and if she wants to date KC, that's her problem, not mine, and not yours." Clare nodded and chewed on her bottom lip.

"I guess you're right." Clare responded.

The look on her face didn't change and I felt kind of bad for what I said. From what Clare has told me about KC, he's abusive. No matter what Jenna has done to me in the past, not one girl deserves to get hit for some stupid reason. But, I really didn't care. Clare is my girlfriend, and that's all that matters, and I won't ever lay a finger on her.

"Can you continue reading?" She asked. I nodded and she got back into the position she was in, laying her head on my shoulder and her back against my chest. I opened the book to the marked page, and cleared my throat before I started to read. Every now and then I would glance down at her as I read, and she would look up at me and smile. After about ten minutes, Clare had grabbed the book from my hands and marked the page I was on. She turned around so she was facing me.

"Clare what's wrong—

She closed the gap between us, and crushed her lips over mine. I was taken aback from the sudden action, and I gasped. Clare's hand rested on my hip and I felt her hand clench the hem of my loose black t-shirt. Our tongues stroked each other's while her fingers touched my hip bone, and across my stomach. I pulled away and shuddered as he fingers massaged my stomach, and the place against my ribs. Clare smiled at the reactions she was getting from me.

Her fingers moved up to the middle of my chest and she whispered, "Your heart is racing, are you okay?" I nodded and closed my eyes; my breath was coming out in short pants as her fingers continued to dance along my flesh.

I didn't even know just the simplest touch can make me react this way… I guess it's because Clare is doing it, I'm not sure. She moved her hand down around my back and traced my spine, from between my shoulder blades, and down to the lining of my skinny jeans. Her lips traced my jawline, towards the side of my neck where the vein was pulsing rapidly behind my skin.

"Are you okay?" She asked softly.

"Yes." I breathed.

Clare nodded and her hand found a place on the back of my neck while she moved around so she was straddling me. I glanced around, making sure there was nobody around and sighed shakily as her lips teased my neck. I clenched her hips when she nibbled on my skin, and tried my hardest not to moan.

"W-we should go and get something to eat." I whispered.

"Okay." Clare responded and I felt her lips curl up into a smile against my flesh. I shuddered again and Clare moved off my lap and held her hand out. I took it and she helped me up. Clare picked up the book and I grabbed the blanket it and folded it as best as I could, and we both started walking to the car. Clare climbed into the passenger seat as I climbed into the driver's side, and turned the ignition on. I pulled away from the park and headed towards the Dot. Clare had decided she wanted to get something to go and go back to my place.

But, I didn't feel that to be necessary. The food would get cold, and I really don't like cold food, unless it's meant to be of course.

We arrived outside the Dot, and I quickly turned the car off and we both climbed out. Clare took my hand in hers and we both walked inside the café, and took a seat in one of the empty booths, instead of sitting across from each other, she sat down next to me. Peter had walked over to us, and asked me how've I've been, because he somehow found out that I was in the hospital for a night and a half. I guess Darcy told him. I wouldn't be surprised; she didn't know how to keep her mouth shut. Dumb bitch…

"Well, what would you guys like to have?" Peter asked as he pulled his notepad out and got ready to take orders.

"Ladies first." I smirked.

Clare smiled. "I'll have the um, grilled chicken wrap and a small lemon Ice-T." Clare said as she placed her menu down in front of her. I just ordered water and a small plate of fries. Clare reached over the table and she interlaced our fingers. I smiled and brought her hand up to my lips and I kissed the back of it gently. Clare blushed and turned away, hiding the cute blush that adorned her cheeks.

"You shouldn't make me blush so much." She whispered.

"Why not? I think it's cute." I purred.

Clare blushed again and she bowed her head, her curly hair covering her face like a curtain. I reached up and cupped her cheek, causing her head to tilt up. Clare smiled sheepishly at me and I leaned forward to kiss her.

"Clare?"

She pulled away from me, craning her neck to the source of the noise. I felt her hand tense up in mine and I turned to look at where she had focused her attention. Some tall guy about six feet one walked up to mine and Clare's booth and stood next to it. Clare scooted much closer to me, which had her back against my side, and I wrapped my arm around her shoulder, trying to comfort her.

"God you haven't changed a bit."

"What are—you doing here, KC?" She asked.

KC had switched glances at me, and then at Clare. He arched his eyebrow at me and then turned his attention back to Clare.

"I'm here to see my date, Jenna. She should've arrived about an hour ago, but she hasn't."

"Probably out fucking some other guy." I muttered.

"Excuse me?" KC asked.

I shook my head and shrugged my shoulders. Clare turned away from KC and looked down blankly at the table. KC was talking to her, asking who I was and how's she been. She was ignoring him. From the corner of my eye, I could see KC practically glaring at her, his eyes piercing into her skin, which caused Clare to shudder and shake softly next to me.

"Will you look at me when I'm talking to you!" KC growled.

"KC, just go away." Clare demanded.

He muttered something inaudible, but turned around and walked off nonetheless. Clare sighed shakily and covered her face with her hands. I pinned my eyebrows together and started to panic when I heard her let out a pained, choked sob.

"Clare what's wrong, why are you crying?" I asked her quickly. She only turned to me and buried her face into my neck and clenched my shirt in her hands. I held her close to me and rubbed her back soothingly before reaching up to run my fingers through her soft hair. She whimpered, "KC scares me… he always scares me, I was afraid he was going t-to do something while you were here." I frowned and sighed softly.

"I'm sorry, you must think I'm weird for always crying…" Clare sniffled and wiped her tears away with the sleeve of her blue blazer. I shook my head and cupped her face in my hands. I leaned forward and kissed her softly. I whispered softly against her lips, "I would never think you're weird Clare, I love you… and I understand why you cry. At least you don't cry over stupid stuff, like the drop of a hat or something." I managed to get Clare to smile and laugh. I kissed her cheek and she scooted away so she was sitting up right.

Our food was given to us moments later and we ate in silence. It surprised me how hungry I was, because I ate the plate of fries in less than ten minutes, and chugged the water down. Clare had pushed away her meal and I noticed that it was half eaten.

"Clare? Are you okay?" I asked.

"Yeah, I'm just, I'll be right back okay?" Clare got up and walked to the bathroom, leaving me alone. I waited patiently for Clare to get back, and was soon accompanied by someone else. That person being none other than KC. I glanced at him, which soon turned into a glare.

"Can I help you?" I asked.

"Who are you?"

I arched my eyebrow at him and folded my hands over the table. Was it his business to know who I am? No, god, this KC character is really annoying. I leaned back in my seat and glanced at few times at the girl's bathroom door, waiting for Clare to come out. I hope she's okay.

"Who do you think I am?" I asked.

"Are you Clare's new boyfriend?" KC asked.

"Yes I am."

"I'm surprised she even has one, good luck. She's not who you think she is." KC said. I snorted and rolled my eyes. Of course her ex-boyfriend would come up to me and try and talk crap to me about Clare. Sure he may have dated her, but he doesn't know her, not anymore at least. Clare is a gentle person, a broken person; part of the fault of her family, and KC. Just staring at him makes me want to jump across this table and beat the ever living shit out of him. But, I kept my guard up and just listened to what trash he had to say.

Clare had walked out of the bathroom momentarily, and she looked paler than ever. I frowned and she motioned for me to come to her. I nodded, placed a few bills on the table and got up. KC got up as well and he placed a hand on my shoulder and whispered, "Be careful with her, the bitch is full of lies."

I clenched my fist and resisted the urge to turn around and punch him square in the face. KC walked off and I walked over to Clare and we both headed out of the café. She and I walked to my mom's car in silence. When we climbed in, I turned to Clare and asked if she was okay, because she looked really sick.

"Oh, the salad… made me um… sick." She muttered.

I blinked a few times and nodded. "So, do you want me to take you home?" Clare nodded her head, and I frowned, but she added that she wanted me to meet her parents, because since things are going well with them and her, she wanted them to have a chance to meet her boyfriend, and leave out the fighting. I nodded, and looked down at my clothes. I wore a pair of faded blue skinny jeans and an old t-shirt. Clare giggled.

"Eli, you look fine." She said.

"I know but—

"No buts, you look fine Elijah." Clare smiled. I nodded and turned the ignition on, and drove over to Clare's house. To be honest, I was a little freaked out. I mean, I did talk to Mr. Edwards on the phone when Clare was at the hospital, and he seemed okay, but it's just facing him that gives me the chills.

I had parked my mother's car in the driveway and Clare took my hand and led me across the road and to her house. I let out a shaky breath as she opened the front door, and I followed her inside, her parents were sitting in the living room, watching TV, and Darcy was curled up on the couch. When the door closed, their head shot towards us and I instantly felt the tension grow in the room. Her father got up and I squeezed Clare's hand, hard, causing her to whimper and rub my arm, telling me that it's going to be okay.

He walked up to us, and gave us both a look over.

"Nice to see you again, _Elijah_, how are you feeling?" He asked.

I cringed at how he said my name. "I'm good, um, what about you?"

"Never been better, how's my little Clare-bear doing?" He wrapped his arm around her and she smiled and hugged him back. The scene made my stomach churn. Even though Clare tells me that things between her and her dad are getting better, I'm still not going to get over the fact of what he does to her. I don't know how Clare can stand there and pretend that nothing goes on. She pulled away from him and turned to me, smiling wide. I smiled weakly at her and shoved my hands into my pockets.

"Daddy, can Eli and I go upstairs to my room, and watch TV?" Clare asked.

I watched the hesitation on his face, but he just smiled a little and nodded. Clare got up on her tiptoes and she kissed his cheek. I was caught up in my own little world that I hadn't realized she was tugging on my arm and yanking me up the stairs. That's when I come to realize that this would be the first time I'd be in Clare's room. When we finally made it up the stairs and down the end of the hallway, I had started to glance around her room. Clare's bed had light purple and blue pillows, and a thick light blue comforter while the bed sheets were light purple. Her room was painted an off white color, and her dresser was white with gold knobs and handles. Her TV was on top of her dresser, and her computer desk was across the other side of the room. On the middle of her room was one of those fluffy rugs, and instead of it being purple or blue, it was lime green.

She had a normal teenage girl bedroom, and I had to laugh at it.

"What? Do you not like it?" Clare asked, frowning softly.

"No, no, it's great, a typical teenage girl's room." I said. Clare smiled and nodded curtly. She climbed onto her bed and sat directly in the middle, and pats the empty spot next to me. I kicked off my worn out black converse and climbed onto the bed next to hers. It didn't surprise me at how comfortable it was. I practically sank into it. Clare grabbed the remote that lay on the nightstand and she turned the TV on.

As she lazily flipped through the channels, I was drumming my fingers over my knees after I sat cross legged on her bed. Clare had soon settled for The Exorcist: The Beginning and I tried my hardest not to grimace. I wasn't too fond of this movie, sure the gore and all that other stuff was awesome, but I don't know, it never really interested me. But, I wasn't going to stop Clare if she wanted to watch it. She snuggled against me and I smiled and wrapped my arm around her.

Clare and I were leaning against her headboard and she had her head on my chest and her arm draped across my stomach. I sighed and looked down at the top of Clare's head, and reached up to run my fingers through her soft hair.

"Eli, we should take a picture together." Clare said. She sat up and glanced up at me. I frowned. I wasn't entirely fond of having my picture taken, most of the time my old friends would sneak one, and I was okay with that, it's just when it's up front, I didn't like it much. Clare pouted and I sighed and nodded in defeat. Clare squeaked in excitement and I smiled a little. She was such a little girl sometimes. I watched her grab her laptop and she set it down in front of her. After setting it up so it would take a picture. I began to pout.

"Come one Eli, no pouting, just one." Clare pinched my arm playfully. I rolled my eyes and before the picture was taken, I had stolen a kiss from her. Clare gasped and I pulled back. Clare licked her bottom lip and stared at her computer screen, and blushed ten different shades of red. I smirked and said, "There's your picture."

She smiled and looked at the picture. I did too and smiled. It was a pretty good picture, I had to admit. After enhancing it, Clare had set it as her desktop background and I smiled at her, and kissed her cheek.

Clare smiled at me and she leaned forward and grazed her lips across mine. I leaned forward, to kiss her, but she leaned back. I see what she's doing. I arched my eyebrow at her and moved towards her, she leaned back, and continued leaning back so my body was slightly hovering over hers. Clare stared blankly up at me. When I shifted and actually had my body on top of hers, Clare shuddered and she instantly placed her hands on my shoulders. I stared down at her face and watched as her lips quivered and her eyes squeezed shut when I leaned down to kiss her.

Clare whimpered and turned her head away.

"Clare?"

"E-Eli, g-get off me, please." She stammered.

I blinked a few times and slowly crawled off her. Clare sat up as I took a seat next to her and placed a hand on her shoulder.

"Are you okay, did I do something?" I asked.

"Remember when… remember when I said that I would have a reaction it's just… when you—got on top of me—

Clare didn't even finish her sentence before she had started to shake uncontrollably. I felt really horrible. "You didn't… have a reaction yesterday when I was… when I did _that_ to you…" I whispered. Clare chewed on her bottom lip and she looked away. She swallowed hard and closed her eyes.

"I-I guess because you assured me that it was going to be you." She whispered. I nodded and looked away. I swallowed the lump in my throat and chewed on my bottom lip before I traced my tongue across it. Clare and I were awkwardly silent and I sighed shakily.

"Do you want me to leave?" I whispered.

"What? No, please don't go." She quickly said. I nodded and Clare scooted closer to me. She wrapped her arm around my shoulders and pressed her forehead against mine. Clare kissed me slow and soft at first, but it grew deeper and a little desperate. She snaked her tongue into my mouth and she sighed softly as our tongues moved slowly against each other's. Clare had her hands wrapped around my neck and I could swear I saw stars when she raked her fingers in the hair on the back of my neck, and tugged gently at the roots.

I pulled away, gasping for air and my eyes slowly fluttered close as her nails massaged my scalp.

Her fingertips had moved over the scar I had on the back of my head and I moaned a little.

"Did that hurt?" She asked cautiously.

"No." I whispered while shaking my head. She nodded and continued to massage my scalp while she placed small butterfly kisses on my cheek. Clare moved her lips down to the place just below my jaw bone and I clenched my jaw when she kissed a spot there. Clare seemed to take a hint from my reaction, because she moved her lips down to my neck and she placed a small lingering kiss there.

Clare doesn't know that my neck is my weak spot, so when she softly nibbled on my skin, I let out an uncontrollable moan and clenched her waist. Clare pulled away and she whispered, "Are you okay?"

Clare smiled wide after when I quickly nodded my head. She reached up and removed the hair that covered my face and leaned her head against my shoulder. I wrapped my arm around her and sighed shakily.

"God, Clare, the things you do to me…" I breathed.

She giggled and she leaned nuzzled my neck

I closed my eyes and smiled.

"I love you." I whispered. Clare turned my face to hers and she responded, "I love you too, Eli."

The movie had been forgotten long ago, and when Clare leaned back against the bed, she pulled me to her, and crushed her lips over mine. I felt her body tensing, but when I pulled my lips away, I whispered soothing words in her ear. Clare would still shake and I kissed her cheek, her forehead, her nose, her eyelids and her lips lastly. She soon was calm, and moments later, I ended up on top of her…

And I was kissing her roughly, our hands were exploring, and I instantly pulled my mouth back the second I felt her hand move closer to the front of my faded pants. I blushed and so did she. Clare's teeth bit down on her bottom lip and she continued to look in my eyes. My eyes were slowly starting to glaze over, as her palm moved back and forth over the zipper of my pants.

"Clare, we shouldn't…" I whispered.

She silenced me with a kiss, but I pulled her hand away and leaned back, disconnecting our lips.

"Not here Clare, please." I whispered when she gave me a confused look. Clare nodded and I lay down next to her. She reached over and started to flip through the channels. I couldn't help but feel an awkward tension between us, but I didn't say anything to her. I wasn't planning on to, not yet at least. Clare turned to me after shutting the TV off and I stared over at her, giving her a confused look.

"Um, did you not… you know… like it? Or something?" She asked hesitantly.

Oh Clare…

"It's not that I didn't like it, it's just… we're in your house, and I don't want your parents walking in on you stroking me through my jeans." I blushed. Clare blinked a few times. And, she leaned forward and whispered softly, "You mean like this?" Her hand replaced itself in between my legs and she gave a gentle squeeze. I gasped and squeezed my eyes shut. Why is she… acting this way…?

"Clare, you don't have to—Clare stop." I whispered.

"Okay…" She pouted.

I opened my eyes and stared at the pouty look on her face. I sighed shakily and licked my lips.

"It's just… if you start, I won't be able to control myself, and I don't want to force you… we've only been together a couple of weeks Clare." I explained. She nodded and smirked lightly. She was messing with me, I swear she is. Before she could say anything, her parents had announced that dinner was ready. I guess I was staying over. Clare got up from the bed, and I did as well. I fixed the front of my pants and tried to think of something horrific to remove the _problem_ I had growing down there.

"Don't laugh Edwards, this is your fault." I groaned.

"Well, I'll let you make it up to me." Clare purred.

She walked out of the room first and I stood there, wondering if what she said was true. I shook my head from the random perverted thoughts running around in my mind and soon walked down the stairs, and into the kitchen, taking a seat next to Clare. I wasn't entirely hungry, but I did eat in respect to her parents. We were all very silent, until her father broke the silence.

"So, Eli… how are things at home?" He asked.

"Good, okay I guess." I responded nonchalantly.

"That's good, how are you treating Clare? With respect, I presume?" His eyes bore into mine and I swallowed nervously.

"Of course." I said, blinking a few times.

"That's good, because if you ever hurt my Clare, you're in for the worst, young man."

"Randal!" Helen hissed.

"You're one to talk." I muttered.

"Excuse me?" He growled.

I pushed my plate away and stared intently at him. Clare placed a hand over mine and gave me a pleading look, and I sighed and bowed my head. I wasn't going to get into an argument, not with her parents, not again. I glanced up and pressed my lips to a line.

"Nothing sir." I said silently.

"It better be nothing, or if you continue to talk to me in a disrespectful tone, Clare won't be allowed to see you, ever." Randal said.

I felt my heart instantly drop and I looked over and Clare and she squeezed my hand.

"I understand."

The rest of the dinner was silent, except for the few times where Helen would ask me a few questions, most of them were okay, ones that I was comfortable with answering, while Randal decided to ask me questions about the faded scars on my arms, and why is it I always end up in the hospital. I had to refrain myself from jumping across the table and stabbing him repeatedly in the eye with my fork.

"So, Eli, have you ever tried to commit suicide?"

"God, will you just shut the _fuck_ up!" I screamed.

The room fell deathly silent, if you dropped a pin, you would hear it from a few feet away. I swallowed hard and started to clench and unclench my hands. Clare placed her hand over mine and she whispered, "Calm down, Eli, please." I ignored her and clenched my jaw, hard. I was a little surprised that my teeth didn't shatter, but I could hear them grinding against each other, giving my jaw a dull aching pain.

"Excuse me." I muttered.

I got up, the chair scratching against the floor as I pushed it back with the back of my knees. I walked out of the house, but I didn't realize that Clare was following close behind me. When I walked out of the house, I leaned against the wall next to the door, and Clare had soon stepped in front of me. She placed her hand on my shoulder and one reached up to cup my cheek.

"Shh, Eli it's okay, just calm down okay?" Clare whispered pleadingly.

"How can I calm down… your father pushed me to my limit Clare." I growled.

"I know but… you can—

"Clare, just leave me alone… I'm going home; I'll call you or whatever…" I pushed passed her and walked across her lawn and to my house. I didn't even bother in looking back to her. When I bolted through the front door, I walked to the bathroom in the hallway and slammed the door shut. While breathing heavily and unevenly, I searched through the drawers, trying to find something sharp. When I felt it graze my fingertips; I pulled it out from under the other inanimate objects and stared at the small scissors in my hands. I sat down against the counter after I locked the door.

"Eli, honey are you okay?" My mom said from across the door.

"I—I'm fine, I'll be out in a little bit." I lied.

"Okay." Mom responded. She soon left and I looked down at my scarred wrist, and place the blade of the scissors against the juncture where my forearm meets my bicep, and placed so much pressure on it, that when I pulled back hard, I could practically hear the skin ripping, and blood poured quickly from the cut, dripping onto my pants. I sighed as my nerves soon calmed down. It felt so good… so fucking good. It felt as if drugs were coursing through my veins and giving me some kind of fucked up high.

I dropped the scissors and just sat there, on the floor of the bathroom, bleeding.

I felt like I was leaking, having so much blood pouring from my cut and dribbling down my forearm, and dripping at my elbow. I lazily reached up to grab the towel hanging on the towel rack and placed it over my cut. I turned the shower on so I could fool my parents into thinking I was showering, and then sat back down on the floor, and moved to lie on my side, in the middle of the bathroom.

It wasn't until moments later where I suddenly felt extremely exhausted, so I closed my eyes with a fear clouding my thoughts…

The fear of never waking up, because the cut on my arm, continued to bleed, seeping through the white towel, creating a large splotchy blood stain…

End of Chapter 25

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That chapter, was SO damn long! I hope you guys liked it :) The next chapter will be um, well, let's just say that um Randal, won't be speaking to Eli in that way again, and there will be some um, bad things happening. A lot of bad things. So, if you want it, review! I'm only a few reviews away from reaching eight hundred, thirty three to be exact, so let's make it happen? Maybe, more than thirty three reviews ;)

Goodbye for now.


	26. it's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah

Disclaimer: Degrassi is something I don't own, sadly… I do own Eli's five year old cousin though, Maureen.

A/N: Oh my over 800 reviews! That is so unreal! I am absolutely happier than a bird with a french fry! I can't wait until I reach 900 reviews, and then 1,000! Oh man that'll be the greatest happy moment of my life! Thank you so much for sticking by my side with this deep story! This chapter is for all of you who review! I love you guys to death, you really have no idea how much you guys mean to me. GROUP HUG! *starts hugging computer screen*

Also, this chapter is also for **munrochambers4ever**, because this person left me the longest review; which to answer your question, yes, I love long reviews, absolutely adore them *hintdoublehint* And **IloveEliGoldsworthy**, since they were my 800th reviewer, this chapter is for you too!

Well anyway, enough ranting, here you guys are, chapter 26!

Enjoy!

Warnings: Rape, fights, and a surprise ;) alternating POV's in this chapter.

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Alibis

Summary: Waiting for change to lead him down a more innocent path, death obsessed Elijah Goldsworthy finds it in a blue eyed beauty, but perhaps with an even darker past than his own.

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CHAPTER 26

Eli called me about an hour after he arrived home. I thought he was cooled off, but I was wrong. His words were frantic and he was apologizing like crazy. I sat there confused, listening to his pleas. I was going to ask him what was wrong, but his uncontrollable sobs were interrupting me before I could even say a word to him. After minutes of crying and sobbing and incoherent words, Eli finally calmed down and he told me that he cut himself, really deep. His parents didn't find out, but his mother did have to bang on the door a few times, because she thought Eli fell asleep in the shower.

I told him that it was okay, but he refused to think it was.

He continued to say that I was going to hate him, because the other time we were in the hospital after his parents got into a fight with him, he and I made a promise not to cut too deep. Eli was pleading and crying not to get mad at him, that he won't do it again. It pained me to hear him like this. Eli is such a gentle person, hearing him cry like someone was killing him tore my heart up. Eventually he had calmed down about an hour later.

Eli and I would talk silently, and I would tell him that I loved him and that I could never be mad at him. That's when he brought up killing my dog. To be honest, I'm still sort of shocked, but it's old news, I can't stay mad at him. We had a decent conversation after that, before he told me that he was going to bed early. I didn't want to bother him with that, so I told him goodnight and that if he needed anything, not to hesitate in calling me.

I've been off the phone with him for about two hours; I guess he actually wanted to sleep.

I got up from my bed and walked downstairs, finding all the lights off. When I reached the kitchen, I pulled the refrigerator door open and grabbed a soda from the bottom of the fridge. After opening it and taking a sip, I closed the fridge and walked back upstairs to my room, only to whirl around, feeling someone following me.

"Is someone… there?" I asked softly.

When I didn't hear anything, I just shrugged and muttered something about watching way too much TV. I laughed at the thought and made my way up the stairs, and into my room. I jumped and turned around when I heard my door shut. Since my room was dark, I couldn't make out the figure standing against my door. Once my eyes were adjusted to the light, I noticed that it was my father. His dark figure looked like it belonged against my door, and I hadn't thought much of it.

"D-daddy what are you doing in here?" I stammered while bringing the can to my lips and taking a small sip of the drink in my hand. Dad had stepped closer to me and I began to panic. It's happening again. I dropped the can of soda onto the floor, not bothering or caring that I could feel the sticky liquid around my foot, and soon staining my carpet. I backed up as he slowly walked towards me. A small whimper escaped my lips when I felt my back hit the wall behind me.

"You've been a good girl lately Clare-bear, now it's time for your surprise." I heard him whisper. Dad wasn't drinking, but I could tell he was a little off. Before I could comprehend any idea that was going on, the most chapped lips that I had ever had on me, were kissing me hard on the mouth. I whimpered and pushed him back. I hissed, "Dad stop it! I don't need this! Get out of my room." He ignored me, and covered my mouth with his hand, and pulled me back towards the bed.

I flailed my arms, trying to get him to stop, and screamed as loud as I could behind his strong hand. All the air had escaped my lungs when his free hand came in contact with my stomach. I stopped struggling, because the slightest movement I made caused some sort of pinching pain. I was lying helplessly on the bed and I could feel my father's body towering over mine. His breath was lingering on my skin and I had to turn my head to the side so I couldn't feel it against my face.

"I'll—I'll scream if you do anything." I whimpered.

"Why, there's nobody here Clare, it's just me and you. Darcy and your mother went out." He responded. I gasped and could feel the panic begin to course through my entire body. I wanted to scream as loud as I could, but nobody would come to my rescue. Nobody would hear me.

"Now you be a good girl, and let me make you feel good, just pretend I'm Eli." Dad whispered.

I cringed and squeezed my eyes shut as my shorts were yanked down my legs, and the sound of the button of his pants unbuttoning and the zipper being pulled rang in my ears. IT's happening again. I could feel my legs being nudged apart and something hard poking at my center. I looked over at my phone that was ringing and blinking on my nightstand. I reached over to grab it, but it fell to the floor.

"Stop cringing Clare-bear." My father growled.

"AHHH!" I shrieked, feeling him enter me in a plunging thrust.

It hurt, it hurt really bad. No matter how many times this has happened, the pain would never go away. The pain would always return. When I closed my eyes, trying to blink back the tears, Eli popped into my head and I began to sob uncontrollably, feeling filthy with myself. I suddenly was flipped over on my stomach and I began to scream and cry hard. I kicked my feet, and succeeded aiming directly at his stomach. My father toppled over and he fell off the bed. I grabbed my shorts and ran down the stairs after pulling them on.

"Clare! Clare get back here!" I heard my father yell.

I had made it down stairs, and was going into the laundry room to get my dog. I wasn't going to leave her here with that monster. I woke Beauty up and bolted out the back door, running around the house as fast as my feet could take me. I was making my way to Eli's house. I didn't care about the time at this moment, the only thing I needed was him. I wanted to be with him.

I know a few weeks ago my therapist told me to call her if something like this happened again, but I didn't care for her at this moment. She said she would help me, but if she wanted to help me, she would've done something right then and there, not tell me everything will be okay and have her leave. When I walked up the steps of Eli's house; I knocked furiously on the door while I held my confused little puppy in my arms. She was beginning to get a lot bigger than I last remembered, so I set her down, and she stayed by my side.

"Eli, Eli open the door please." I whispered as I reached up to knock on the door. I heard footsteps and I sighed softly in relief when I saw the door open, and was greeted by Eli's tired gaze. "Clare? What's—

I interrupted him when I walked into the house, Beauty followed right after me and Eli shut the door behind him. The only light that was on was of the TV and when Eli stepped up behind me, placing a hand on my shoulder, I turned to face him and whispered not to touch me harshly. Eli stood dumbfounded and he reached up to scratch the back of his neck. He yawned and I suddenly felt so bad that I had broken down into a heavy series of sobs.

"Eli—I'm so sorry… I'm sorry…" I whimpered. He walked up to me and his arms wrapped around my head, burring my face in his chest. My hands clung to the sides of his loose t-shirt and I sobbed into his shirt. Eli didn't say a word to me, only rubbed my back and moved his arm from around my shoulders to my waist. We stood in the middle of the living room until I was finally calmed down. Eli moved and I followed him to the couch, where Beauty was current sitting at. I didn't even know that Eli had pushed her off.

"What's wrong? Why did you come knocking on my door like someone was killing you Clare?" Eli asked. I sniffled and reached up to wipe my tears away with my hand. Beauty hopped up on the couch and curled up next to me. "And why is your dog in my house?" Eli asked. I glanced over at him, looking into his dark eyes and started to cry again.

The sound of my father's voice was ringing in my ears… those words…

_Now you be a good girl, and let me make you feel good, just pretend I'm Eli…_

I cringed and reached up to cover my ears.

"Clare?" Eli questioned. He reached up to touch me and I pushed him away.

"Clare, what's wrong—

"Daddy—he… he was… Eli, he—was on me—he just… he…" I couldn't even for a coherent sentence. Eli seemed to get what I was trying to say because I heard him growl and he got up. "Where are you going!" I shrieked. Eli turned around to face me. He stepped up to me and said, "Clare, stay here… I'll be right back." His lips were on mine in a chaste kiss and I slowly opened my eyes when he pulled back, creating a slight smacking sound in doing so. Eli switched glances between me and my dog which wagged her tail when she looked up at him. Eli smirked a little and he reached down to place a hand on top of her head.

I watched Eli leave out the front door, and I knew exactly what he was going to do… but I didn't stop him…

…

…

…

…

When Clare was forming incoherent sentences, involving her father, I knew exactly what she was trying to tell me. Not only was I going to make him pay for what he did to her, but he's going to regret talking to me the way he did at dinner a few hours ago…

The anger had boiled up inside me and I could just not do anything. I was halfway across Clare's lawn, and I could already hear Randal shouting inside. The sick bastard might be drunk. I grabbed the handle of the door, and twisted it, smiling a little, realizing it was unlocked. When I stepped inside, I headed to where the screaming was.

It sounded like it was coming up from Clare's room.

So, I walked upstairs as quietly as I could and tiptoed down the hall.

"Clare! You shouldn't have left! You're in for the worst you dumb slut!" Randal screamed.

I narrowed my eyes and pushed the door to Clare's room open, even though I could barely see anything, I could make out that the room was trashed. Randal didn't see me, which was odd, so I flicked the light on in Clare's room, and he whirled around. His face was full of hope, but it soon faded when he noticed that it was me. I guess he was expecting Clare, ha, too bad for him. He glared at me, growling, "What are you doing here? Where's my Clare." I slowly walked up to him and stood up to him. He was taller than me, but this fucker doesn't scare me.

Not anymore at least…

"What did you do to Clare?" I hissed.

He snorted and turned away. His eyes rolled and he barked out a short laugh. I could smell the faint aroma of whiskey on his breath, and it was clear that he was drinking before I got here. This should be easy. I know it's not my fight, not my battle, but Clare got hurt, she couldn't even let me touch her without her freaking out, because of him. And, I wasn't going to let him get away with this. Something inside me took over, and I had Randal pinned to the ground, my foot across his throat. I watched him struggle to regain his breathing. When I pressed my foot harder on his throat, his eyes started to glaze over, but, I wasn't going to kill him, not just yet at least.

I removed my foot and watched him turn to his side and hold his throat as he coughed relentlessly. Randal turned up to me and stared hard. "You think you can get away with this you little brat—

"Oh I don't think," I cut him off; "I know I can." I smirked and he got up, charging at me. But with his dumb luck, I had him already pinned down, and while one of my hands were wrapped around his neck, making sure he wasn't getting any oxygen to his lungs, my fist was pounding into his nose, hard, so hard I could feel the bone breaking. Blood poured from his nostrils, and since my hand was cutting the circulation around his neck, his eyes began to turn bloodshot and watered.

I pulled away before I could actually kill the bastard and breathed heavily, standing over him, watching him gasp for air and the blood pour out of his nose. I smirked just slightly.

"If you ever touch Clare again, I swear on my life… I'll fucking kill you, slow and painfully." I warned him. He only glared at me in response. I waited for something else to happen, but we just continued to stare each other in the eye. I decided to break the contact and storm out of the room.

…

…

…

…

Eli had been gone a long time…

I was starting to get really worried, maybe something happen to him. No, I can't think negatively. I sat on his couch, curled up with Beauty lying next to me and I was watching TV. After I snooped around his house, I realized that his parents weren't home so this was good, I guess. But, what I don't understand is how Eli's parents could leave him alone after he just came out of a hospital. Eli's a suicidal teen, and they leave him alone on countless occasions.

I looked down at my dog and smiled a little. As much as I loved her, there are times where I didn't even know she existed… I've been too caught up with Eli, and hanging out with him that I forget about her too much. I was starting to think that getting a dog was a bad idea… The door slammed open.

And, I practically shot up from the couch when I saw Eli walk through the front door. He didn't say anything to me, only walked to the kitchen, and I heard the faucet begin to run in the kitchen. I glanced down at Beauty and smiled realizing that she was asleep. I moved slowly away from her and walked to the kitchen. When I was standing behind Eli, I wrapped my arms around his waist from behind.

Eli was viciously scrubbing his hands, and when I looked over his shoulder, I noticed that they were stained with a small amount of blood.

"E-Eli did you… what did you do?" I asked.

"Nothing, I taught him a lesson…" He responded quickly. I swallowed nervously and nodded, stepping away from him, and I leaned against the wall behind me. Eli soon turned the faucet off and turned around to face me. He had a dish towel in his hands, and he was drying them. After Eli tossed the towel away, he stood in front of me, placing his hands on the counter behind him. I walked up to him slowly and buried my head into his chest. I whispered, "Eli… thank you… I just… you can't go off and start beating up my father." I glanced up at him, and as expected, he flashed me a confused look, his eyes narrowing and his eyebrows pinned together.

"Clare, he rapes you and hurts you and you expect me not to do anything?" Eli argued, clearly confused.

"B-but he's my father and h-he loves me… he doesn't do it on—

"If you finish that sentence Clare, I swear you're going to regret it." Eli growled.

I felt his words pierce through my skin and into my heart and I bowed my head, feeling the tears sting in my eyes. I wanted to turn around and leave. I wanted to, but I couldn't even move. My shoulders began to shake uncontrollably and I had started to cry in front of him. I heard Eli sigh softly and he walked up to me and his arms were wrapped around me. I didn't even bother in returning the hug, my arms staying at my sides. Eli's lips brushed against my ear and he whispered, "Clare, I'm sorry… I didn't mean to snap at you."

"B-but, you're right… Eli I don't—I don't know how to—

"Just don't talk Clare, I understand… let's go to my room, your dog is going to have to sleeping outside though." Eli said. I blushed and nodded a little. I glanced up at him with tear glazed eyes and blushed.

"Does—does this mean that I'm going to be… sleeping in your bed?" I asked, blushing slightly.

"I can take the couch; I'll explain it to my parents later."

"No, please don't leave me alone… what if… what if he comes back." I whimpered. Eli licked his lips and he nodded while chewing on his bottom lip slightly. I watched him walk around me and he soon walked into the kitchen, holding my dog by his side. Eli had placed her outside and he soon walked back inside and took my hand in his. Eli led me to his room, and I could practically hear my heart beat in my ears. When we walked into his room, he headed to his dresser and started to rummage around them. Eli soon pulled out a oversized t-shirt and a pair of boxer shorts. I blushed and took them…

"Um, you can change in the bathroom." He blushed.

I nodded and brushed by him to enter his bathroom. As I closed the door, I glanced around, eyeing my surroundings. I was being a little curious and I started to snoop around his cabinets, finding blood stained razors, a bottle of pills, and old rags that were stained with blood. I licked my bottom lip nervously and began to change out of my clothes. When I pulled my shorts down I finally noticed the small amount of blood in between my legs. I frowned and quickly grabbed some toilet paper to clean myself up. I pulled Eli's clothes on and smiled when I could smell his aroma on them.

When I walked out of the bathroom, Eli was sitting on his bed. "Why did you give me clothes to wear?" I asked softly.

Eli glanced up and I watched him swallow nervously. He said, "Well… since your dad… did that, I wouldn't think you'd like to sleep in the same clothes…" I smiled gently, and watched Eli bow his head, hiding the blush cascading across his cheeks. I dropped my clothes on the floor, and walked up to him, sitting down next to him on the bed. I leaned my head on his shoulder and sighed shakily. Eli and I would be sharing a bed and the thought of it made my heart increase in pace, and my cheeks to flush.

"So… so what side do you want?" Eli asked.

"Um, it doesn't matter." I responded. Eli nodded and he moved away from the bed to turn the light off and close the door to his room. I could barely see, but I knew what was going on. The bed started to move and Eli had already crawled under the sheets. I joined him, but awkwardly kept my distance. I lay on my side, staring at the wall and could feel Eli shifting around in the bed. I chewed on my bottom lip and turn around and was soon looking at the back of Eli's head.

Only because I felt the need to do so, I moved closer to him and wrapped my arm around his waist, pressing my forehead against his spine. Eli turned around I shuddered shakily, feeling his body close to mine, our legs absentmindedly intertwined with each other's so we could be much closer. I held onto his hand, and started to feel much safer with him close to me. I smiled and closed my eyes. I still felt a little uneasy about everything, but I had to push the thoughts away, because right now I'm with my boyfriend… not my father.

"Clare is this okay? Are you comfortable?" Eli asked as he draped his arm around my waist. I nodded and swallowed nervously. Eli was really warm against me, and I closed my eyes, feeling so content at this very moment.

"Eli… let's… let's talk." I said.

"Okay, what do you want to talk about?" Eli asked.

"Anything… is there something you want to know about me?" I asked, a little nervous to the answer I was going to get from him. Eli sighed and said, "There's a lot I want to know about you, but I'd rather find out for myself." I smiled and nodded. Eli moved so he was lying on his back and I curled up closer to him, resting my head on his chest, just below his chin. Eli's fingers ran up and down my spine and I shifted, feeling a small tingly sensation. I traced my fingertips along his rib cage, softly digging in between the ridges.

Eli sighed and I placed my hand on his waist, cuddling closer to him. Eli's free hand had moved from the middle of my stomach and up to my chest, and he cupped my cheek and tilted my head up to look at him. I could feel his breath fanning my face and I leaned up to close the gap between us; my lips crushed against his and I grabbed him softly by the collar of his shirt and pulled him closer to me. I shifted and forced him to get on top of me.

Eli tried to move away, but I wrapped my legs around his waist, keeping him in place.

"Clare, I don't want you to feel uncomfortable." Eli whispered.

"Eli, I'm not… going to feel uncomfortable. This is you… you're not my father." I whispered in response. Eli soon relaxed and the tense feeling I felt in his body soon relaxed and he was now lying comfortably in between my legs. I was a little sore down there, but it was a dull pain. Eli started kissing me, his lips moved over mine and his tongue pressed against my lips, grazing ever so slightly, trying to get me to open my mouth. I parted my lips and felt his tongue move passed my teeth and my lips, making me moan just slightly.

Eli's hands were roaming all over my body, but his touches were hesitant. When he would reach up to touch my breasts, he would move his hand back down and clench my side. I would whine in disappointment, and arch my back into him. As we kissed, I reached down and grasped Eli's hand, guiding it up to cup my breast. Eli pulled his hand away and I whimpered.

"Eli, please… don't be hesitant…" I plead.

"But… you just… your father—

"Eli." I interrupted him.

He licked his lips and nodded slowly. Eli leaned down and he planted his lips over mine and started to kiss me hard and fast. I was taken aback from his kiss, but I soon caught up and reached up to lace my fingers through his soft jet black hair. I clenched the strands between my fingers and moaned softly, feeling his hands roam my body, and he hesitated again, before he grabbed my breasts and began massaging them. The feeling of absolute pleasure coursed through my body, making me curl my toes into the bed and arch my back against his touch. Eli trailed his lips down to my neck and he sucked softly on the pulsing vein there, making me part my lips and moan softly.

Eli growled and he slipped his hands inside my shirt and grazed his fingernails down my sides. His hips moved over mine and I whimpered.

"Clare we have to stop." Eli groaned, quickly retracting his hands from under my shirt. I moaned in disappointment and watched through half lidded eyes as he removed himself from me. I instantly felt a chill when his body heat was removed from mine; he lay on his back, breathing heavily. I turned to him and asked, "What's wrong Eli?"

Eli turned to me and he sighed shakily.

"I just… I won't be able to control myself if we continue…" Eli responded breathily.

"Eli…" I sighed.

He turned to face me and kissed my temple. "Clare, I don't want to lose control with you… I want, if we ever have sex, I want it to be special, to be taken slow and I want you to feel comfortable." I nodded and sighed. I was a little bit disappointed, but I wasn't going to tell him. I know Eli's trying to be considerate to my feelings, but I don't want him to tiptoe around the stuff that I feel comfortable with. I told Eli that I was, but he's always hesitant… I was starting to think he was afraid of something.

I sat up so I was looking down at him and chewed on my bottom lip slightly. I let out the breath I was holding before I asked, "Eli… are you afraid of touching me?"

"Clare what—

"Eli… I mean… I'm glad you're considerate to my feelings about that, but… I want—I want you to t-touch me… as long as you tell me… that you're not going to hurt me or that… that you're not going to—that you won't… rape me." My voice became slightly weak and Eli sat up on the bed.

"Clare I didn't… I'm sorry… I didn't think you'd get upset about this." Eli said.

"I'm not it's just… I don't mind if you do it." I responded. Through my lashes I saw Eli nodding and he leaned forward to kiss me chastely. His forehead rested against mine and I kissed him again. Our tongues stroked each other's slowly. The only sound that I could hear was my heart beat, and the sounds of us kissing. I moved back, wrapping my arms around his neck and having Eli's body hover over mine. I instinctively separated my legs and Eli gently placed his lower body between them.

I blushed slightly, feeling his half hard arousal poking against my center. Eli tilted his head to the side, getting a better lip lock with me and I smoothed my hands down his back, grasping the waistband of his sweatpants. Eli's hands moved up my arms and he unraveled my hands from around his neck and I smiled softly when his fingers interlaced with mine, and he pinned them down softly next to my head.

Eli broke the kiss and breathed heavily against my lips. I traced the skin on the back of his hand with my thumb and leaned up to kiss his jawline.

"God, Clare… I love you." Eli whispered.

"I love you too, Eli." I smiled. He captured my lips in his and we kissed again, viciously. Our tongues tangled and Eli had removed his hands from mine and began moving them all over my body. I whimpered when he slowly and gently pushed the shirt I have on up, exposing the skin on my stomach. Eli moved down and he placed open mouth kisses all over my flesh. I closed my eyes, letting the fantastic sensation wash over me, sending ripples of pleasure all over my tingling body.

Eli's warm tongue swirled in my belly button and he sucked on the skin bellow it.

He moved back up to my neck and pressed a few wet kisses around it before he captured my lips in a kiss.

I shifted my lower body slightly, and we both moaned when I absentmindedly brushed my center against his fully erect arousal. Eli whimpered and whined in his throat as I continued to slowly thrust my hips up against his. With each one, I could feel his erection brush against my sensitive flesh, making me moan. I never really knew how amazing this could feel, and I mentally cursed myself for never trying it… the correct way.

Eli began thrusting his hips against me and I tossed my head back. With my neck craned, Eli took that chance he sucked tenderly on the middle of my throat while his hips continued to rotate and thrust against mine. I blushed ten different shades of red when I heard him moan my name. Just listening to him whine my name like that made the tension in between my legs to grow, and I could feel my inner thighs become wet with my fluids. Eli breathed shakily against my ear and I moaned in response.

"Clare… we should stop." Eli whispered.

"Okay." I breathed.

Eli smirked and chuckled while placing a sloppy kiss on my lips. He moved off of me and went to lay his head on the pillows. I moved up to lie down next to him and he wrapped his arm around my shoulders. I snuggled against him and placed a kiss on his neck before I rested my head against his chest, and closed my eyes to get some sleep. Eli's fingers ran up and down my bicep and he kissed the top of my head.

"Good night, Eli." I stated softly.

"Good night, Clare." He responded with a yawn.

I wrapped my arm around his waist, keeping close to him. Before we actually gotten to fall asleep, Eli would place kisses on the top of my head and whisper how much he loved me in my ear. Him whispering in my ear helped me fall asleep faster, which is something that I needed dearly. Sleep; especially if I'm with Eli.

End of Chapter 26

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I know that this chapter wasn't as long as the last one, but I know you guys liked it :D So, reviews are in order! So, I think you should leave me some! Yes? Oh and I'm going to have the side story posted tomorrow, hopefully, be on a look out for it! It's going to be pretty odd in the first chapter, since Eli and Jenna are together and they're going to be doing something really, really unforgetable :/ Anyhoo, reviews? Yes? I'll give my 830th reviewer a surprise ;)

See you guys soon!

Goodbye for now :D


	27. colors of the heart

Disclaimer: Degrassi is something I don't own, sadly, nor do I own Boys Like Girls… I do own Eli's five year old cousin though, Maureen.

A/N: Jesus! I got like FIFTY reviews for the last chapter! You guys are the best! I love you guys, like you don't even know D; Like seriously this is the most reviews I had gotten for any chapter, except for the first chapter haha, I almost have sixty reviews for the first chapter! Oh man, but seriously, you have NO idea how much this means to me! I love you guys like seriously, you're the best!

Thanks to **CrystalNight1** for leaving me the most amazing reviews! This chapter is for you and to **Eclarerocks**, because this person leaves the sweetest reviews, and **OhMyMunro**! Your reviews make my day you guys, like you don't even know, and well to everybody who leaves long reviews, you guys rock monkey skates! I would name you all, but, I'm lazy…

Rambling notes: It was really hard to believe that… I had just recently reached a little over 800 reviews, and then now, I'm like… just only half way to receiving 900, you guys are the greatest, like no joke! And, I'm not going to answer (again) how many chapter's Alibis is going to be, I've said it more than like, three times, and I really don't enjoy repeating myself.

There will be alternating POV's in this chapter!

Enjoy Chapter 27!

* * *

Alibis

Summary: Waiting for change to lead him down a more innocent path, death obsessed Elijah Goldsworthy finds it in a blue eyed beauty, but perhaps with an even darker past than his own.

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CHAPTER 27

I woke up in the middle of the night last night, and for some reason, I had forgotten that Clare was sleeping next to me. When I realized it was her, I stayed up the whole night stroking her hair and watching her sleep. She looked so peaceful, so innocent. I had fallen asleep around four in the morning, but I woke up to make her breakfast. My parents were out, same as usual… I never understood or understand them.

The minute I get sent to the hospital, they're the biggest worry warts and they'll do anything to see that I'm okay, when I get sent home, they forget all about me. It's like I'm not even here anymore.

"Eli?"

I turned around to look into the figure of a very tired Clare. She looked so damn cute; her hair was tousled and sticking up in every direction, and she had a tired look in her eyes. Clare reached up to rub her eyes and she yawned. I smiled at her. Clare, I had to admit, looked so fucking cute in my clothes. She walked up to me and wrapped her arms around me, burying her head in the crook of my neck. I kissed the top of her head and whispered, "Did you have a good sleep?" Clare nodded and she glanced up at me.  
I smiled down at her and kissed her forehead.

"Um… did anybody… call for me? Mom, Darcy?" Clare asked hesitantly.

"Why don't you have something to eat, and then we can talk…" I responded softly.

Clare pressed her lips to a thin line and she nodded, her curly hair bouncing. I reached up to flatten her hair and she giggled slightly. While Clare took a seat I had grabbed the eggs that I attempted to fry as well as the slightly burnt sausages that I had placed on the plates. Clare smiled wide as I set it down in front of her and she took the fork and began poking her eggs.

"Sorry, I'm a horrible cooker." I laughed while I poked my eggs too. Clare laughed and said that it was fine, and that it tastes okay. I pretended to look hurt when she said that it tasted okay, and she laughed. We ate in silence after that. Clare looked really out of it. She was staring blankly at everything, her food, her hands, and her water. I figured it would be okay to start talking now, knowing that is probably the one thing on her mind right now.

"Your mom came by while you were sleeping," Clare blinked up in surprise and licked her lips; "She came over and kind of was upset to find out that I beat the shit out of your dad, but I told her everything Clare. She was a little bit shocked, and didn't believe it at first… about your father raping you, but after a few minutes of convincing, she started to break down and say that she didn't know why she didn't believe you, and that she felt like a shitty mother," Clare looked away and swallowed hard, biting her lower lip softly. I reached over and took her hand in mine, giving her a reassuring smile. I continued; "Well anyway, after we talked, she said she's going to leave us alone for a while, because she's kicking Randal out."

"She's what?" Clare asked, her eyes blinking up to mine.

"Yeah… she's kicking him out. I've been checking on what's going on, as far as I know he left about an hour ago." I explained.

Clare nodded and she slowly pushed her plate away. I frowned and picked up my chair as I moved closer to her, so my knees were touching her thigh. Clare glanced over at me slowly and I reached up to tuck her curly hair behind her ear. She leaned into my palm when I cupped her cheek. Clare sighed shakily and she closed her eyes. I frowned, realizing something was wrong with her.

"Clare… what's wrong?" I asked.

"N-nothing, it's just… I'm just glad my mom's actually doing something right for once… I should go see her." She quickly got up and before I could say anything, she had bolted out of the kitchen and into my room. I blinked a few times, and followed after her.

"You're um… you're leaving… already?" I asked, trying to hide the disappointment in my voice. Clare turned around, after I startled her with the sudden change in the silence of my room. She looked down at the floor and ended up sitting on the bed. Clare patted the empty spot next to her and I walked over to the bed, sitting down next to her.

She leaned over, placing her head on my shoulder and I wrapped my arm around her waist. Clare sighed shakily and whispered, "I have to go home… to see my mom and Darcy, I can come back later maybe." I nodded and she got up to pick up her clothes from the floor. Clare turned back to me and she started to pull on my t-shirt.

"Um, you can keep that, if you want." I said.

"O-okay, thanks." Clare smiled.  
I nodded and Clare walked to me, placing a long kiss on my lips. She pulled away and rested her forehead over mine. I leaned up to kiss her again, only chastely. "Thanks for letting me stay the night." She said. I nodded again and got up to walk her out of the house.

"Clare, aren't you forgetting something, well someone." I stated.

She turned around and gave me a cute, curious look; her head cocked to the side and she blinked a few times. I rolled my eyes and walked to the back door, and headed outside to get her dog. When I found her hiding under a tree to keep out of the sun, I walked over to pick her up and bring her close to my chest. Before I walked inside, I glanced down at her and she stared right back up at me. I smirked and walked back inside, finding Clare standing in the kitchen, waiting for me to get back.

"Oh, Beauty… I forgot I brought her in last night." Clare barked out a nervous laugh and I handed her to Clare.

"Do you know anybody that likes dogs?" She asked.

"Uh oh, I know where this is going."

"It's just, I haven't been paying much attention to her and I don't want her to suffer at my house, with me not being able to you know… play with her and stuff." Clare stated. I nodded and reached up to rub the side of my neck and we stood in silence for a few minutes. Clare placed her dog down on the floor and she stood there for a few minutes before walking over to me, well, prancing if you will.

Clare smiled. "She likes you Eli…"

I glanced up at Clare and frowned.

"Oh no, I know where this is going. Clare I can't take your dog." I said.

She frowned and walked up to me. Clare's arms linked around my neck and she played with the strands of hair on the back of my neck. She pushed her bottom lip out and gave me the cutest girl pout ever. I sighed and bowed my head. "Can't say no to that face." I muttered. Clare squealed and she hugged my tight. I wrapped my arms around her waist and smiled, rolling my eyes at her.

"I'll be back later with her food and bed and other stuff, okay?" She said.

I nodded and she gave me a chaste kiss and I watched her bolt out through the front door. The house grew quiet and I looked down at my new pet.

"Well, it's just me and you now." I said, catching her attention. Her tail started wagging and I smiled a little. As I walked to the living room to watch some TV, Beauty of course followed me and she made a fatal attempt in trying to jump up on the couch, but failed. I tried to ignore her as she started to whine and scratch at my legs, but I just couldn't. She looked so helpless and I couldn't help but laugh at her. The second I reached down to pick her up, the front door to my house opened up and in walked my parents, laughing and having a ball.

"Oh, Eli, you're awake! Why is there a rat in the house?" Mom asked.

I watched them move into the kitchen and reached down to pet Beauty. Dad walked into the living room, holding a beer in his hand. It's not even the appropriate time to drink, and he's already downing a beer? God…

"So, Elijah, what's with the dog, who's is it? Why do you have it?" Dad asked quickly.

"Um, it's kind of a long story." I said nervously.

Mom walked into the living room to join me and my dad and they both sat there, staring at me awkwardly until I spoke. I sighed a little and chewed on my bottom lip.

"Well, after something happened to Clare last night. She came over with her dog, and I let her stay the night with me… because she was scared, and she admitted that she didn't enjoy the fact of having Beauty, only to ignore her half the time, so she asked if I could take care of her, and here we are." I explained. Mom and Dad stared at me funny and then switched glances with each other.

"Clare stayed the night?" Dad asked.

I nodded and swallowed hard.

"Were you guys… safe?" Mom asked.

"MOM! We didn't even have sex!" I shrieked.

They both flinched and I muttered something incoherent under my breath. An awkward tension filled the room and I shifted uncomfortably on the couch. Mom cleared her throat and stated, "Well, we were actually coming by to see if you wanted to hang out with us today, have a family day, before you have to be… shipped off to St. Carson's Mental Health Facility." Those five words pierced right through my skin and made my chest ache.

"I um… didn't that doctor dude say I didn't have to go in for another week." I said in a whispered tone.

"I know you don't want to leave, Eli. But, it's for your own good." Mom moved to me, and she wrapped her arm around my shoulder, pulling me to her chest.

"I know, but… I guess we can hang out today." I said.

"Good, go get dressed, we'll wait." Mom said. I nodded and got up after handing her Beauty and headed back to my room.

After trying to find a pair of pants to wear and one of the many long sleeve shirts I wear, I made a mental note to do laundry. I hardly had anything clean to wear. I pulled my gray skinny jeans on and then my long sleeve black t-shirt on. Mom had already put the dog outside by the time I walked out of my room, and both my parents were standing in the living room, waiting for me. I made sure I had my phone and my iPod before we could actually leave. As we were climbing into the pick-up truck, Adam had walked around the corner and paused when he noticed us in the truck. I pulled the window down and asked, "What are you doing here?"

"I came by to see if you were okay?" Adam said.

"I'm fine." I muttered.

Adam shifted his weight to his left leg and he licked his bottom lip nervously.

"Can I help you? Is there something you want?" I asked, growing slightly impatient.

"I'm sorry okay! For what I said at the hospital, calling you pathetic and such." Adam shouted. I blinked a few times and shrugged. I didn't care what he said anymore. For my so called best friend, he really is a pain in the ass. Sometimes I even ask myself why is it that he's my friend, if he treats me like dirt half the time…

"It's whatever Adam, can we go now dad?" I asked as I put the ear buds in my ears and started to blast the music. I didn't even take one more glance at Adam as we pulled out of the driveway. I reached into my pocket for my phone and decided to text Clare, since I won't be seeing her for the next couple of hours. The very thought upset me and brought a frown to my face. I closed my phone and glanced out the window. We were heading in the direction towards the mall and it made me think about the night Clare, Adam, Fiona and I went to see Black Swan. My thoughts were interrupted and my phone started to vibrate in my hands. I glanced down and smiled when I had received a text from Clare.

_**I can come by later though, right?**_  
_**—Clare**_

_Of course you can; I'll let you know when I get home, okay?_  
_—Eli_

I closed my phone and leaned my head back in the chair. Mom had turned around and she started talking to me, but since I had the music blasting, I didn't catch a single word that she said. I pulled the ear bud out and gave her a questioning look. Mom laughed and said, "Eli, you're going to lose your hearing at such a young age. I said, would you like to get something to eat first before we go window shopping at the mall?"

"No, I already ate some breakfast, I'm good." I said.

"Oh, okay." Mom turned around in her seat and I looked down as my phone started to vibrate; I flipped my phone open and read the text I got from Clare.

_**Okay, I love you :) Oh and I found a really good song for you to listen to! I think you'll like it!**_  
_**—Clare**_

I smiled and responded to her text; _Okay, what's the name of it? Oh and I love you too :3_. I closed my phone and started to flip through my music as I waited for Clare to text me back with the song title. I was so caught up with practically glaring at the screen of my iPod. Clare soon responded and I quickly opened my phone and smiled a little.

**_Hero/Heroine by Boys Like Girls; I know you're going to like it :) It reminded me of us, and well I just wanted to let you know; well, I'll talk to you later, I have stuff to do! I love you so much, Eli._**  
**_—Clare_**

I sighed and closed my phone.

I never told anybody, but that song is probably one of my favorites by them. After glancing down at my iPod for what seemed like eternity, I started to flip through the songs and chose a particular one to listen to; the song Clare chose for me.

…

…

"Clare!"

I looked up from my computer screen to see my sister standing in the doorway. She hopped onto the bed with me and I pushed my laptop away and gave her a curious look. Darcy smiled and she said, "How are you feeling?"

"I'm good, never been better." I smiled wide. Darcy nodded and she took my hand in hers and said; "Are you happy that… dad's gone? Do you feel safer now?" I looked down at our hands and sighed shakily. I closed my eyes and chewed on my bottom lip, trying to think of something to say to that. I am happy, but—there is a possible chance he could come back, and take some sort of revenge on my family on Eli. I shook my head from my thoughts and looked up at my sister, tightening my grip on her hands.

"I do feel safer, thanks to you and mom, I can actually go to sleep at night, and not wake up to having… him on top of me or something." I whispered. Darcy nodded and she moved so she was hugging me tight. I hugged her back and we both pulled away simultaneously. Darcy smiled sheepishly and she reached up to pat my head before she left me alone in my room.

After watching her leave, I grabbed my laptop and minimized the website I was on, and my eyes immediately went to my background; the picture of me and Eli kissing. It was so cute. I let a pathetic love sigh and closed my laptop. My mom was downstairs and I hadn't really talked to her since I got home from Eli's house. As I made my way into the kitchen I found her making some sandwiches and humming to herself. I cleared my throat to catch her attention, and when she looked up, she smiled wide.

"Hello sweetheart, how are you?" She asked.

"I'm fine." I responded, while jumping up on the counter and kicking my legs back and forth. Mom finished making the sandwich and she placed one a plate and handed it to me. I took it and before I could take a bite my mom asked, "Are you going to be okay with eating it? You're not going to… you know, throw it up are you?"

I blushed and bowed my head.

"Mom—if you haven't noticed, I haven't been… you know throwing up half the things I eat anymore." I whispered.

"I know, I've noticed sweetheart, and I'm glad you're not." She smiled a little and I too smiled in return. I reached down and picked up my sandwich, and took a large bite from it. I couldn't remember the last time I had something THIS good, and I smiled while I slowly chewed on my food. Darcy walked into the kitchen and she grabbed the other sandwich and hopped up on the counter next to me.

"So, Clare, we have to get your registered into Degrassi soon, school starts in a couple of weeks, are you excited?" Mom asked while pouring us all a glass of fruit punch.

"Yeah, I'm excited, really excited. A few weeks ago, Eli showed me the school, it's really big." I said while grabbing the glass from my mom's hand and taking a few sips of the bright red liquid, and then placed the glass next to me on the counter.

"Well, that's good, so we're probably going next week for the registration. How does Friday sound?" Mom asked.

"Sounds great! I'll mark that day on my calendar." I responded with a cheeky smile.

The three of us continued to eat our lunch, chatting in a small conversation. I couldn't help but be so amazed at this; this is the kind of family I always wanted. A happy one – one with no fights, no regrets; a picture perfect family. I sighed and took another bite of my sandwich.

One could only dream though.

…

…

"Here Eli, why don't you take some money and buy yourself a new pair of pants, and a t-shirt." Mom said. I glanced up from the pasta salad I was eating and blinked a few times, and then switched glances with my parents. Are they serious? Mom dug into her purse and she handed me forty dollars and smiled.

"I thought we were just window shopping." I stated.

"Okay, well if you don't want those new clothes, I guess I can just—

"No, no! I was just being stupid." I quickly took the money from my mom's hand and she chuckled. I finished eating my lunch before I could actually get up to leave. After I was done, I pushed my empty plastic bowl away and wiped the area around my mouth with a napkin.

"Are you feeling alright?" Mom asked.

I gave her a curious look and pinned my eyebrows together. "Why do you ask?"

Mom and dad shrugged their shoulders in unison and mom told me to go ahead and go. I grabbed my phone and my iPod and shoved them in my pockets and walked to the nearest clothes department. After I walked inside and searched the clothes wrack for a little over thirty minutes, I ended up grabbing a pair of bright green skinny jeans and an old black and purple Escape the Fate t-shirt. After checking the sizes, I walked up to the counter to pay. The lady scanned the tags and after handing her the money, I pulled my phone out to check what time it was.

2:45 P.M.

"Here you are." She smiled.

"Thanks." I grabbed the bag and walked out of the department, and started to text Clare. I really wanted to go home as soon as possible so I could see her.  
I placed my phone back into my pocket and walked back to the food court to find my parents. They had just finished eating and gathering their trash. I walked up to them and smiled a little. Mom smiled asking, "What did you get? More black—

"No, they're green this time." I cut in.

Mom pinned her eyebrows together and she cleared her throat.

"Are you sure you're okay Eli?" She asked.

"Mom, I'm fine, really." I responded while moving my head back when she reached up to place her hand against my forehead. She nodded curtly.

"Well, we're going to be heading home now, are you ready to go?" Dad asked. I nodded and reached into my pocket when I received a text.

**_Oh, new clothes? I want to see :) Let me know when you get home!_**  
**_—Clare_**

…

Approximately 40 Minutes Later

…

"Eli! Eli hurry up! I want to see!" Clare shouted from behind the door.

"I'm almost done!" I responded.

After fixing the front of my jeans, I opened the door to the bathroom and walked out. Clare blinked up and smiled cheekily. She got up from my bed and wrapped her arms around my neck and whispered, "You look really good." I smirked and swooped down to kiss her. Clare moaned in her throat and she raked her fingers in my hair and tugged on the strands. I groaned in her mouth and started walking forward. When the back of her knees came in contact with my bed, she fell back with my body hovering over hers.

She traced my lips with her tongue and I gladly opened my mouth to her. Like always, our tongues wrestled and danced in each other's mouths. I clenched the fabric of her thin, long sleeve lavender shirt around her waist and smoothed my hands up and down her sides. Clare's back arched and she pulled her lips back, breathing heavily. I leaned down to kiss her neck and was rewarded with a low moan.

My lips skipped up to her ear and I grazed the sensitive flesh with my teeth. "Can I touch you?"

Clare whimpered in response and pressed her chest into mine as her back arched again. I took that as a yes, and swiftly cupped her breasts through her shirt, giving them a gentle squeeze before massaging them.

"So soft." I purred.

Clare moaned and she squeezed her eyes shut.

Just when things started to get good, the door to my room flew open, and Clare had squeaked and pushed me off her, hard. I fell to the floor and groaned when my head came in contact with my dresser.

"Sorry you guys, but I just came to tell you that your father and I will be going to the store to get some stuff for dinner, would you guys like anything?" Mom asked. I shook my head no while rubbing the growing bruise on the back of my head. Clare shook her head no as well and my mom excused herself from my room. Clare giggled while asking; "Are you okay?" I nodded and got up and sat down next to her on the bed.

"You should let me borrow your jeans one day, just saying." Clare laughed while placing her hand on my knee.

"These? Pfft, no." I smirked.

"Awww, why not?" She pouted.

I surprised her and towered my body over hers. She glanced up at me and placed her hands on my shoulders. I swooped down to kiss her neck and she gasped. My teeth grazed her sensitive neck and I sucked softly on the flesh before moving my lips to her ear. I continued what I started before, nipping playfully on her earlobe and sucking on it gently. Clare moaned and in return kissed my neck. I hissed when she sunk her teeth on the certain spot, and my eyes slowly fluttered closed.

"Did you listen to the song I asked you to listen to?" She whispered against my neck.

"Yes, I loved it." I responded while moving down to kiss her lips. She placed her finger tips over my lips, stopping me in place. I gave her a curious look and she moved her hand to cup my cheek. I took her hand and kissed the palm and then her knuckles. I trailed my lips up her sleeve covered arm and stopped at the small amount of exposed flesh on her shoulder.  
I sucked on the spot there and Clare sighed and closed her eyes. She moved her hand up and threaded her fingers into my hair. I pulled back and placed my chin on her chest and stared up at her. Clare smiled and she slowly pets the top of my head and massaged my scalp.

"I love you." She whispered.

"I love you too… let's do something tomorrow." I said a little too excitedly. I wanted to do something special for her, and tomorrow seem like the perfect time. It's going to be a Friday so it'll be perfect.

"Okay, what do you want to do?" Clare asked.

"It's a surprise." I responded, smirking lightly. Clare's eyes flickered with curiosity and her lips curled up into a small smile. She nodded and leaned up to kiss me. The kiss was a little chaste, but I didn't care. I shifted my body so I was lying down next to her and Clare cuddled up close to me. Her nose nuzzled my neck and she placed a few butterfly kisses on the spot where the vein was pulsing normally behind my skin.

"Can you give me a hint?" She asked.

"Nope, otherwise it wouldn't be a surprise." I responded.

Clare pouted and muttered a humph.

"Tough titty." I responded and she smacked my arm playfully.

End of Chapter 27

* * *

Okay so, before I begin my small rant, something happened that when I uploaded the chapter, it became retarded and such. So, if there are mistakes in here, please don't remind me; I went back over it a few times before I posted, so there shouldn't be many. Anyway, so, I know this chapter was you know "sane" but, I'll have you know, that the next is going to be VERY surprising. Those of you who have my twitter, know what's going on ;) But, since I'm nice, I might as well let you guys know what's going to happen. Fitz, KC, Jenna, and Drew will be showing up in the next chapter, and just to sum it all up, there will be DRAMA, oh and something else, but I can't say ._.

Because, I will spoil it and I don't need to spoil a big surprise. :3

So, I think you should leave me some reviews! I'll love you forever and always, oh wait, I already do :)

Goodbye for now!

P.S. Sorry this chapter was short, it was more like a filler chapter really. Showing the slow improvement of Eli and Clare's family. Oh and Randal is not COMPLETELY out of the picture, JUST SAYING )


	28. let's not wait let's love right now

Disclaimer: Degrassi is something I don't own, sadly… I do own Eli's five year old cousin though, Maureen.

A/N: Thank you so much for the reviews! Here is chapter 28! Gah, I can't believe it! Almost at thirty chapters :D this story is by far probably my favorite that I have ever written in my entire life! You guys are amazing for liking it! Just saying ;) Anyway, here you are, Chapter 28! Oh and before I forget, this chapter starts on the Friday of Eli and Clare's date. Just thought I'd let you know :)

Warnings: Some drama, with a side of fights, and some sweet desert.

Random notes: Some of you were asking why Eli's parents were asking if he was okay, well, normally Eli would you know, get "sick" after he ate something. And, since he ate everything without getting "sick" they figured something was wrong. Same with the clothes, he normally gets all black clothes, but instead got different colored skinny jeans and all that other good stuff. So, there you go. I hope that answered your question… Thank you all for reviewing my story. This chapter is for everybody who reviews! You guys mean the world to me. This chapter is also for EliGold_49 because he writes amazing stories. Oh and to everybody who encourage me to write more and have been there for me for the most awkward moments! I love you guys, like no joke! You guys are my everything, in a non creeper way ;)

* * *

Alibis

Summary: Waiting for change to lead him down a more innocent path, death obsessed Elijah Goldsworthy finds it in a blue eyed beauty, but perhaps with an even darker past than his own.

* * *

CHAPTER 28

Since Eli told me we were going out today, he's been ignoring me. He sent me a text that he was going to be planning all day, so there won't be much time for us to talk, until he picks me up. Darcy and my mom were helping me get ready upstairs in my room. My mom was currently doing my make-up and Darcy was rummaging in my closet trying to find me something "decent to wear".

"Stay still Clare!"

"But it itches! Mom, can't I just put my mascara on myself?" I squeaked. Mom sighed and she nodded. I thanked her and took the tube of mascara from her hand and turned around so I was facing the mirror, I actually – finally – caught a glimpse of what my mom was doing and I had to admit that she did an amazing job with putting my make-up on. I had a small amount of sparkling baby blue eyeliner and a small line of eyeliner on the top lid of my eye. As I was applying the mascara, Darcy had just pulled out a cute short white dress with large sunflowers decorated all over from the back of my closet.

"I can't wear that." I said quickly.

"Why not?" Darcy and mom asked in unison.

"Because, I wore that dress on KC's and mine's first date. I'm not wearing it." I said sternly.

Darcy groaned in frustration and she started to rummage quickly in my closet again. She pulled out a white dress with bright red flowers all on the bottom of the skirt and around the waist had a thick bright red silk ribbon. It was a thin strap. I smiled and stated, "I think Eli would like it!"

"You think he would like it? I know he will." Mom smiled. She reached up to push my hair behind my hair, which had been blown out and straightened. I quickly thanked my mom and my sister for helping me, and they exit the room so I could change. I removed my shorts and t-shirt and grabbed the dress that Darcy had hung on the doorknob of my closet. After unzipping and untying the dress, I slipped it on, zipped it back up, and made a small slightly tight knot around the waist. I smiled and looked at myself in the mirror, and then looked down at the deep, ridged scars on my wrists – and I frowned.

Should I wear something to cover them up?

Eli said we would be alone half the time, away from people, so it would be fine, right? He's seen them and doesn't think anything of it. I shrugged it off and slipped on a pair of cute white ballet flats with a small red bow on the tip of the flats. I took another glance at myself in the mirror and sighed. Downstairs, I could hear the doorbell ringing and my heart began to flutter quickly in my chest. I heard Eli's voice and I began to pace my room.

What if he doesn't like the way I'm dressed?

Oh no…

"Clare's getting ready upstairs, why don't you take a seat?"

"Okay, thanks."

Ugh, I need to go downstairs sooner or later. I don't know why I'm so nervous. Maybe because we're doing something so different, I don't know… I soon started walking down the stairs and the minute I stepped into the living room, Eli turned his head and got up; he stumbled when he glanced at me. I blushed and bowed my head. He smiled and walked up to me, taking my hands in his. Eli brushed his lips against my cheek.

"You look so beautiful." He whispered.

"Th-thanks." I stammered as a blush made its way from my throat to my cheeks.

"Are you ready?" Eli asked.

I nodded and he wrapped his arm around my shoulders and led me out of the house after I announced to my mother that I was leaving. Eli and I were already walking out of the front door before I could actually hear my mother shout something in return. Eli's hearse was parked in the driveway and he walked around to open the door for me. I climbed into the passenger seat and scooted towards the middle while Eli walked around and climbed into the driver's seat. He pulled his keys out from his pocket and started the car moments later.

"So, what are we doing?" I asked while glancing over at Eli.

"I told you Clare, it's a surprise." Eli responded. I could practically hear him smirking.

Eli reached over and he took my hand in his and brought it up to his lips to kiss my knuckles. I blushed and turned away, looking out the window. The ride to wherever we were going was silent, aside from the soft music that was playing on the radio. I was surprised Eli didn't have his music screaming from the speakers. I reached up to turn the volume up, but Eli stopped me.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"Nothing, I just don't want the music loud." Eli responded.

"Um, are you sure?"

"Yeah." Eli turned to me and he gave me a cute smile. I smiled in return and leaned my head on his shoulder.

After a few minutes of driving in slight silence, Eli's vintage hearse came into a complete stop and the ignition was cut off. I glanced around us and frowned.

"E-Eli, where are we?" I asked a bit nervously. Eli chuckled and he exit the car, shutting the door behind him as he made his way around to the passenger side. Eli opened the door and he held his hand out to me. I took it gratefully and the second I climbed out of the car, Eli had covered my eyes with his hands and whispered softly, "Do you trust me?" I chewed on the corner of my bottom lip and nodded slowly. Eli began walking towards me from behind and I took that as a hint to move. So, I did. Eli was leading me forward, slowly and carefully. I sighed shakily and my lips slowly curled up when the aroma of watermelon scented candles filled my nostrils. I wanted to move Eli's hands so I could see what was going on, but he didn't let me.

"Take your shoes off." He whispered.

I nodded and slipped my flats off and moved forward, feeling a plush blanket under my feet. I smiled wider this time and when I felt Eli start to remove his hands from my eyes he told me not to open them, not just yet. Again, I nodded and he stepped away from me. His hands were on my shoulders and he turned me so I was facing a certain direction.

"Sit down." Eli said.

I slowly moved to my knees, and tucked my legs under me. Eli cleared his throat and he instructed me to open my eyes. Slowly I did what I was told and my heart immediately dropped to my stomach and began fluttering quickly. I scanned my surroundings. We were at what seemed like an abandoned, broken church, and on the ground there were many little scented candles that sat beside the plush black blanket Eli and I sat on. There was a fairly large basket between us and I wanted to peek inside and see what was in there, but my attention was focused on Eli, who was blushing madly and looking away. I crawled over to him and planted the biggest kiss on his lips. Eli was taken aback from it, but he soon circled my waist with his arms and kissed me back.

"I take that as a hint that you like it?" Eli whispered against my lips.

"Like is an understatement. I love it." I corrected him.

Eli smiled and he kissed me again, chastely.

"I'm not that much of a romantic… I had my mom help…" Eli's sentence drifted off and he looked down as if he were embarrassed.

I grasped his chin and turned his face to me. Eli smiled weakly at me.

"I think it's perfect Eli, thank you." I kissed the corner of his mouth and moved back to my spot. Eli cleared his throat and he dug into the basket and he pulled a saran wrapped sandwich and he handed it to me. I smiled and took it, unwrapped it, and took a bite from it.

Wow.

"Eli this is amazing." I said softly.

"Thanks."

"Did you make it?" I asked, taking another bite.

Eli chuckled. "No, but I helped my mom make it, if that counts." He responded. I glanced around and shrugged my shoulders before responding, "I guess that counts." Eli smiled and he soon joined in to eat after handing me a juice box. I had to admit, having this kind of treatment from Eli is something I could get used to. I sighed in contentment and soon finished my sandwich; I grabbed my juice box and scooted closer to Eli as he finished eating.

"Say Eli, what were you like when you were younger?" I asked smiling wide at him.

"Um… I don't know if you want to listen to old stories." Eli laughed nervously.

"Oh come on, I'll spill too." I pouted, pushing my bottom lip out at him. Eli sighed and rolled his eyes. He licked his lips and looked like he was in deep thought, as if digging into his mind for stories from the past. I reached up to play with his hair and he sighed again.

"When I was younger, I had this strange obsession with death. I used to kill things, and watch them suffer… small animals you know? Squirrels, rabbits, cats, and _dogs_. I don't know what it was. I still am, but not as much as I used to be. It's weird, I know. But, just watching something suffer really made me feel good. When I didn't want to kill things, I cut myself. I was pretty fucked up back then; well I still am pretty fucked up. I have to go to that stupid mental hospital." Eli's sentence slowly went down below a whisper and I chewed my bottom lip hard. I didn't think Eli would be like this. I didn't think he would be obsessed with death. He did kill my dog, but I didn't think… oh man, Eli is a really disturbed person, but I'm not going to love him less. He's still my Eli…

"U-um, what about you? What were you like when you were younger?" Eli asked as he took a sip of his drink.

"I don't know how else I could describe myself when I was younger… my family was the quite opposite of me if you want to get literal. They were you know straight up Christian, I didn't believe in anything they wanted me to. My sister Darcy would always tease me about going to hell because I was centered as being the atheist of the family. As years progressed and I grew older, I started to mature and my father started to 'get closer to me' and things started happening. He would… well you know, come into my room while I was sleeping and… you know… I started to cut myself and to throw up everything that I ate to relieve the pain because , I knew that if I even mentioned it to my mom she wouldn't believe me. When they found out I started cutting, they sent me to a psychiatrist and I was slowly getting treatment for that. I guess you can say that I'm just… ugly…" I shrugged a little. Eli lifted my arm and he traced the purple scars on my wrists.

"Clare, you're not ugly." Eli whispered. "You're beautiful… so very beautiful, inside and out." He kissed my scars, like he always did, but this time it felt different. My eyes slowly fluttered closed as he planted small kisses up my arm and I blushed, feeling him move against me. I moved back, letting his lean body move on top of mine.

"You're gorgeous Clare." Eli pressed his lips over the side of my neck and I whimpered.

"Is this okay?" He asked.

"Y-yeah… this is fine." I responded.

Eli's lips moved all over my neck and down to my exposed collar bones. He sucked on the skin there, not enough to leave a hickey, but enough so I could feel it. And, I could. I absentmindedly moaned so loud that Eli lifted his head to look at me curiously. I blushed and looked away, completely embarrassed.

"Don't be embarrassed, I _liked_ it." Eli smirked.

The blush increased and I could swear my face was as dark as cherries. Before I could say or do anything else, Eli dipped down and he pushed the straps of my dress down, letting them hang off my shoulders and he licked the exposed skin on my shoulder, sucking gently on it. I gasped and blushed and clenched my legs together when Eli kissed the middle of my chest. I glanced down at him through half lidded eyes and whimpered watching him slowly flick his tongue out to lick my cleavage.

I could already feel myself getting aroused down there. Eli kissed his way up to my lips and I reached up to wrap my hands around his neck, my fingers moving into the hair on the back of his head. Eli's hands wandered up and down my body, clenching my waist and up to my sides. I whimpered in my throat and thrust my tongue into his mouth. My tongue moved around his warm mouth, begging him to kiss me back. Eli moaned when I – hesitantly – wrapped my legs around his waist and pulled him closer to me. The blush that had disappeared from my face soon returned when I felt Eli's erection against my inner thigh.

_He's so hard already…_

I reached down to touch him, and when he didn't stop me like before. I watched his face as I gave him a small squeeze; Eli's eyes closed and he let out a shaky breath. My teeth chewed hard on my bottom lip as I tried my hardest not to moan. Watching Eli's facial reactions made the pit of my stomach boil and the place in between my legs to pulse uncomfortably. I shifted underneath Eli and he moved to his side, giving me more room.

I licked my lips slowly and reached into his slightly loose pants and his boxers.

"Clare, you don't have to do this." Eli whimpered, placing his hand over mine, stilling it.

"Eli I want to…" I responded.

"But, here isn't good… I don't… want to get caught." Eli said before he moaned loud when I gave the stiff organ a hard squeeze.

I nodded and pulled my hand out from his pants and boxers. Eli sat up and I giggled at the look he gave me, but he looked really sexy. His hair covered his eyes and his lips were slightly parted. I leaned over to kiss him and he kissed me back, slow and soft.

…

…

"Clare, do you want to get something from The Dot before we head to my place?" Eli asked.

"A milk shake does sound good right now." I smiled while glancing at him.

"Okay, I'll get you a milk shake." Eli smirked. I leaned over to kiss his cheek and I leaned my head against his shoulder. The small date we had went perfect after I "teased" him a bit. Eli turned the ignition on and he drove away from the abandoned church, and I smiled remembering what he said. That this place is for us only, and that nobody was allowed to know about it. Eli is so, perfect. He's the perfect boy, no matter how messed up his life is.

When we arrived at the Dot, Eli quickly did the honors in opening the door for me after he parked, turned the ignition off and climbed out of Morty. I took his hand and as we made our way to the entrance of the café. I stopped before we entered and Eli glanced down at ground.

"What's wrong, Clare?" He asked.

"Umm… uhh…" I rubbed my arms and Eli mouthed and "oh". He removed the tight black hoody he wore and slipped it around my shoulders. I smiled gratefully at him and slipped my arms into the sleeves.

"Better?" Eli smiled. I nodded and we continued to make our way into The Dot. When we walked inside, my eyes immediately shot over to the other side of the café when I heard a familiar voice. If I would've known that KC was going to be here with Jenna and Fitz, I wouldn't have agreed to come here. Eli didn't seem to be effected by their presence so I just followed him to the counter. I took a seat next to him and I squeaked when I felt someone behind me.

"Hey Eli."

Eli turned around, and the glare he had on his face softened and he smiled a little.

"Drew, what are you doing here?" He asked.

The guy named Drew shrugged his shoulders and he pulled Eli off the stool and gave him a large hug. I guess they were close. Eli pulled away and he cleared his throat nervously. "This is Clare, my girlfriend. Clare this is Drew, Adam's step brother." I smiled at him and I took his hand and shook it softly. Drew stepped away and I watched him and Drew make small talk while I turned around in the stool to order my vanilla milkshake.

"So, are you ready for the junior year at Degrassi?" Drew asked.

"Not really." Eli sighed obnoxiously. I giggled and leaned in to kiss his cheek. Eli blushed and Drew rolled his eyes, smiling wide.

"By the way, I'm here to start my senior year. I got back from vacation with my girlfriend." Drew said.

"How is Bianca, living the modeling world now." Eli said as he smirked suggestively.

I frowned and looked away as I listened to Eli and Drew talk about Drew's model girlfriend named Bianca. Eli kept saying something about how cute and beautiful she is and that he's seen some of her photos online. There was a dull ache in my chest that I tried to ignore, and I smiled up at the waiter as he handed me my milkshake. I smiled faintly at him and took the straw, spinning it around the thick liquid.

I took a sip and smiled a little.

"Okay, I'll talk to you later." Drew said.

"See you later." Eli said.

He turned to me and frowned when I didn't look at him. Eli poked my shoulder and I stole a glance from him and smiled a little. Eli leaned over the counter and turned my face to him. "What's wrong?" I shook my head in response. He leaned closer to me to kiss my cheek but I leaned away. Eli frowned and pinned his eyebrows together. He blinked a few times at me and I whispered, "Is… Is Bianca prettier than me?" Eli sighed and he shook his head at me.

"Oh Clare. Nobody is prettier than you. Bianca doesn't even come close." Eli explained. I smiled and turned to him. Eli smirked and he moved closer to me so he could kiss me, but stopped when a hand slammed on the counter next to him. I glanced up to see the person named Fitz looming over Eli. Eli turned around and glared at Fitz.

"What do you want, Fitz?" Eli growled.

"Oh nothing, I just wanted to take a closer look at the cute girl you're talking to." He smirked at me and I turned away in disgust.

Eli hopped off the stool and he shoved Fitz back. "Don't you dare even look at her you sick fuck!" He shouted. I wanted to tell him to stop, but I couldn't even move. Eli managed to get Fitz away, but it didn't seem like the damn drama was going to end. KC got up as well as Jenna and started to make their way to us. Eli got up and sat on the counter, moving closer to me.

"What, so you're not going to say anything to me, Clare?"

"KC, I'm not here for you." I responded quickly. I heard Jenna snort and I rolled my eyes. This could only get fucking worse. I wanted them to leave. I was here with Eli, I wasn't here to please KC or Jenna or whoever else. From the corner of my eyes, I could see Eli's hands balling into fists as KC continued to say stupid things about how Eli is lucky that he's lived this far by being with me in a relationship. I ignored KC as best as I could, and reached over to place my hand over Eli's balled up fists. He glanced over at me and I smiled reassuringly at him.

"God, I'm surprised that you're even with her… Eli? Yeah, Eli, I'm surprised, she's just a dumb slut trying to grab attention from anybody." I cringed when KC said this. Eli didn't take kindly to those words and his fist swung around and landed square on KC's jaw. He stumbled back, groaning, and Jenna let out a loud shrilling scream.

The scream was a little bit unnecessary.

"Clare! Do something!" Jenna screamed.

I snapped out of my thoughts and looked down to the floor, finding Eli towering over KC, his fist clashing with his face. I didn't do anything though. A bunch of people had already started to pull Eli away from KC, who lay on the floor pathetically, holding his broken nose as blood poured profusely from his nostrils. Eli breathed heavily and he shoved the four people off him. He turned to me, pulled his wallet out and slammed a few bills on the counter, before taking my hand in his and storming out of the Dot. I was practically being yanked and I had trouble keeping up with him.

"Eli!" I squeaked.

He turned around and glared down at me. "What." He growled.

I flinched from his sudden assertiveness and swallowed hard. I shook my head and looked away, ashamed in even asking him. Eli sighed and he pinched the bridge of his nose. He turned around and began walking to Morty. I stood watching, not being able to move. Eli climbed into Morty and slammed the door shut. I expected him to drive off, but I didn't hear the motor run, and Eli didn't even pull away from the café. I inhaled deeply, and let the breath out slowly. I started to walk over to the car and pulled on the handle of the passenger door. When it opened, I climbed in and felt the tension in the car. It was so thick, I swear you could grab a knife and cut right into it.

I could hear Eli breathing heavily and when I was seated, I looked over at him and he was gripping the steering wheel, hard, and glaring through the windshield. I reached over to touch Eli and he flinched and told me not to touch him. I nodded and leaned back against the passenger door, watching him intently. It was really quiet in the car, and I was beginning to feel a little bit uncomfortable. I wanted to do something, but having Eli tell me not to touch him was enough to make me want to go walk home and stay up in my room for eternity.

"I'm sorry Clare… I didn't want you to see that… I'm sorry for being such an ass to you." Eli finally said after the long silence.

"Eli…" I sighed.

I moved closer to him and hesitantly reached up to touch him. Eli moved to me, and his head fell to my shoulder. I wrapped my arms around him and he sighed heavily. I kissed the top of his head and told him that it was okay, that he had nothing to worry about, and I felt him nod against me. Eli's arms wrapped around my waist and he held me close to him. We stayed like that for a good while before Eli pulled away to kiss me chastely. I returned it and then pushed the hair away from his forehead, placing a kiss there.

"Do you still want to um… come over?" He asked hesitantly.

"Of course." I smiled.

"Okay, because I got a movie that you might like to watch." Eli said as he turned the ignition on and fastened his seatbelt. I did the same and Eli pulled away from the café, and headed to his place.

…

…

Twenty Minutes Later

…

…

"Eli are you serious?" I asked.

He nodded, holding the DVD up.

"Eli, I didn't think… I thought you don't like those kinds of movies." I stammered.

"But… you said you haven't seen it, and um… I kind of want you to see it with me." Eli said. He looked so cute right now and I just couldn't say no to his face. I nodded and he smiled and popped the DVD into the player and walked to me. He plopped his body next to mine on the couch, and I instantly curled up against him; my legs moved over his lap and my body leaned against his side while my head fell on his shoulder. The movie soon started after Eli skipped through the old previews for the other movies.

My attention was glued to the screen for the time being.

Eli and I were quiet, but I would occasionally glance up at him and notice how intently he was staring at the screen, and it made me wonder how many times he has seen this movie. I remember him telling me that he has seen it a few times, but I'm sure it was more than that. It made me smile that Eli does own a chick flick, no matter how many times he's said that chick flicks aren't his "style". I had to admit that this one was pretty decent, from the times when my sister and my mom and a bunch of my other friends told me that it was a great movie, and all begged me to watch it, even though we were like not even ten minutes into the movie.

"Okay so, let me get this straight." I said.

"What's on your mind?" Eli asked.

"She like a hundred and one years old, lived on the Titanic, and her fiancé died, well boyfriend… lover?" I asked.

Eli chuckled and nodded. I smiled and resumed watching the movie.

…

…

"YES! She chose Jack! Oh, Eli! I knew she would!" I squealed.

Eli scooted away from me and I playfully slapped his arm and reached for the remote to pause the movie. Eli said, "Where are you going?"

"I have to go to the bathroom." I giggled. I walked into the hallway and was about to open the door, but stopped when Eli shouted, "Don't go in there!" I frowned and turned back to look at him.

"Beauty's in there." He said.

"Oh, that's fine." I shrugged.

I walked into the bathroom and shut the door behind me. Beauty was lying on a cute little doggy bed and she walked up to me, her tail wagging quickly. I bent down to pet her and smiled – I was really glad that Eli took her. I wasn't afraid for her life, even though Eli told me that he's killed many animals in the past, and that he killed my other dog. Eli seemed to like her, and I was glad he did. I got up and fixed myself in the mirror, my hair, and my make-up, which was smudged since I was out all day.

Before I walked out of the bathroom, I placed a small kiss on the top of Beauty's fluffy head and headed to the living room. Eli had two soda cans sitting on the coffee table that Eli had gotten recently since the other one "broke". I took a seat next to him and grabbed the can of soda and opened it, taking a few sips.

"Play it." I said.

Eli nodded and he took the remote and pressed the small gray button with the little white "play" sign on it.

The movie resumed from its spot and we were silently watching it.

…

…

I didn't think this movie was going to be so long. Having it be four hours long. After it ended, Eli had to comfort me because I was crying so hard.

"God Clare, it's just a movie, they're still alive." Eli said.

"B-but, it's just… it's just so sad!" I sniffled. Eli pulled my face to him and kissed my tears away. I blushed and sniffled again. I smiled weakly at him and Eli smiled at me, genuinely. I loved it when he smiled at me. Something in me reacted and I practically threw my body over his, climbing on top of him to straddle him. Eli gasped and he clenched my hips. I chewed on my bottom lip softly and moved my hands inside his shirt, tracing every part of his skin that I felt under my fingertips. Eli sighed softly through his nose and he closed his eyes. I liked how content he looked right now, and I moved my hand to the middle of his chest, feeling his heart beat erratically against my palm. I slowly grazed my finger nails down his sides and Eli licked his lips and gasped. That was probably the most arousing thing that I had ever seen.

I did it again, only harder and Eli let out a low, sexy moan. The sound alone made the place in between my legs pulse. Eli slowly opened his eyes, revealing to me how dark they were, his pupils were so dilated that there was a small rim of forest green around them. I licked my lips and smiled a little. Eli sat up so I was directly in his lap and he breathed shakily against my chest.

"Clare, do you want to go to my room?" He asked, glancing up at me. I nodded slowly. Eli smiled and he whispered, "Hang on to me." I wrapped my arms around his neck and Eli shifted off the couch. He ended up carrying me bridal style, which earned him a soft smile. Eli made his way to his room and when we entered, he laid me down on his bed, softly, as if I were a delicate porcelain doll. Eli closed the door to his room and while he did this, I was beginning to remove the jacket I borrowed from him, leaving myself in my dress and flats. When Eli turned around to me, he walked to the edge of his bed and took my foot in his hand, slowly removing both of my ballet flats. I blushed ten different shades of red when I watched him place small kisses on my ankles, down my legs and lastly on my knee. I reached up and grabbed his shoulders, and pulled him too me. His lips landed on mine and we kissed passionately. Eli crawled onto the bed after he kicked his shoes off.

His body loomed over mine, and he tilted his head to the side, getting a better lip lock with me. His tongue moved over mine, coiling playfully and licking teasingly. His hand cupped my neck and he pulled away for a few seconds to regain his breathing, before kissing me again. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and kissed him back with such fervor that I could swear I saw stars behind my closed eyes. He stole my breath away so many times, that I had to pull away and stop him from kissing me so I could breathe. Eli cleared his throat and he whispered, "Do you want some music? I can play some music if you want." I nodded and smiled.

"That would be nice." I responded.

"Okay." Eli kissed the corner of my mouth and he moved off me. I watched him as he moved across his room and started to rummage around the top of his dresser where a pile of CD's lay. After searching for a few minutes, he soon grabbed a clear cased CD and walked to his laptop. He slipped the CD into the side slot and I waited for the sounds of Eli's music to fill my ears.

To my surprise, it wasn't screaming music. It was soft… it sounded like Secondhand Serenade.

"I can change the CD if you want." Eli said nervously as he crawled back on top of me. I shook my head and told him that it was fine and we began kissing again. Our lips moved and tongues stroked each other's. We were kissing so passionately that I hadn't realized my hands moved into his shirt and I gripped his waist before moving up to touch his nipples. Eli moaned in the kiss and I smiled mentally in approval. Eli's lips skipped down to my neck and he sucked on my flesh.

"Ooh, Eli…" I moaned.

I could feel his lips curling up into a smirk against my flesh and he smoothed his hand up my waist to the straps of my dress. Just like on our date, Eli pushed the straps off my shoulders. I swallowed hard and moved up. Eli leaned back and stared at me curiously. His eyes widened as I reached around and started to untie the red ribbon from my waist, and then unzip my dress. The dress became loose around my chest area and just as I was about to push the straps off. Eli placed his hands on my wrists. I blinked up at him in surprise and he asked, "Are you sure you want to do this?" I pressed my lips to a line and sighed shakily. I do want this, I want him to see my body, but I was still afraid… I was shy; I was embarrassed, afraid that he wouldn't like what he would see. But, I pushed those thoughts away and nodded. Eli dropped his hands from my wrists and he watched intently as I pushed the dress off my shoulders, exposing my upper body to him. I looked away and tried my hardest not to cover myself. My eyes closed when I felt Eli's eyes on me.

"Oh my god." He whispered.

"I-I know… it's—

"Clare, you are so beautiful." Eli interrupted me. I looked over at him and noticed the look of approval on his face. He was hesitant as he lifted his hand, but he dropped it to his side again. I chewed on my bottom lip and reached down to grab his hand; I guided his to my chest and pressed it firmly against my breast. I whimpered and my breath hitched as he cupped my breast and he brushed his thumb around my nipple. The feeling of his bare hand against my exposed chest really made my face hot, but I liked the feeling. His touch was gentle and his hands were really soft. My lips parted and I moaned loud as his thumb and index finger pinched and pulled softly on my nipple.

"Is this okay?" Eli whispered.

I nodded, because if I spoke, I wouldn't be able to form a coherent sentence. Eli slowly pushed at my chest to lie back against his pillows. Eli kissed my neck at first, before he moved his lips down to my chest. I started to grab and clench his bed sheet and as his lips inched closer and closer to my breast. Eli wrapped his lips around my neglected breast and he sucked softly on it while he massaged my other breast. I watched through half lidded eyes, completely enjoying the sight of Eli pleasuring me. His eyes were closed, but I knew he was content with what he was doing. I let out a loud moan when he nibbled and tugged my nipple between his teeth, and finally he let my breast fall from his mouth before the tip of his tongue swirled slowly around my nipple. I breathed heavily and he switched, doing the same thing he just did. Beneath us, my legs were clenching together and thrust up against his. Eli was building so much tension that I knew I'd explode in any minute.

The skirt of my dress was being pulled on and I breathed heavily, now realizing I was lying half naked before Eli.

"You're so beautiful." Eli whispered.

I smiled a little and reached up to play with the hem of his shirt. Eli took the hint and he pulled his shirt up above his head. Eli moved so he was lying on top of me and we both moaned as our bare skin touched. My nipples brushed against his chest and I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and leaned up to kiss him. Eli's jean clad erection brushed against my center. I moaned because he was so close to me, and I wanted to feel more, like the other night we were together… So, I fingered the button on his jeans as well as the zipper. Eli pulled away, our lips creating a light smacking sound as the connection was broken. I watched him as he slowly unbuttoned his jeans and pulled the zipper down. I expected myself to blush from the sight of his already hard arousal, but I didn't.

I was pleased with myself.

Just seeing that I could turn my boyfriend on made me happy.

My thoughts were broken when Eli pressed himself against me. I moaned and tossed my head back. Eli pushed my inner thigh open and I instinctively wrapped it around his waist, pulling him closer to me as we both thrust our hips, trying to feel more of each other. Eli moaned each time I thrust my hips up to his. I could feel his erection poking against my clit, and the feeling was probably the most amazing thing that I had ever felt.

"Ooh, Clare." Eli moaned.

I chewed on my bottom lip and swallowed hard, feeling Eli press his body harder into mine. I wouldn't be surprised if he had entered me from the forceful thrust he just did.

"N-not so hard Eli, please." I whimpered.

"I'm sorry." He whispered.

At this point, my body was already shaking and so was his. But, we hadn't reached our climax, not yet at least. Eli's hand was moving from my waist, to my hip and down into my inner thigh. I blushed, really hard. Just the thought of Eli touching me down there made my mind all fuzzy. But, I wanted to feel him; I wanted to know what his fingers felt like inside me. Eli was teasing me though. He rubbed my inner thighs, except for the place where my body craved for some damn attention. Eli kissed up and down my neck before moving to my ear.

"Can I touch you? Here?" His fingers ghost over my center, and I blushed feeling a damp spot. I was a little embarrassed at how I was acting, but I knew it would pay off later.

"Yes." I answered quickly, more like whined.

Eli slowly pushed my panties to the side and he moved his middle finger up and down in between my wet flesh. Eli groaned and I looked up at him curiously. "You're so wet for me." He purred. I looked away and closed my eyes. When his finger moved inside me, I gasped. Eli moaned and I again looked up at him. He smirked a little.

"So warm… so wet." Eli kissed my neck as I tilted my head to the side, giving him some room. Eli sat back so he was on his knees. Even though my eyes were closed, I could tell he was watching my facial reactions change. His middle finger moved deeper inside me, so deep that I could feel his knuckles touching my skin. He moved it in and out, slowly. I breathed heavily and moaned in my throat. The sensation was overwhelming. I had never felt so good, ever. Eli added his ring finger and I cried out. His fingers were slightly thick and long, and it felt really weird, but so good at the same time. Eli pumped his fingers slowly in and out, and I screamed in ecstasy; my hips arched off the bed and I begged him to move them faster.

Eli moved so he was lying on my side and moved his fingers faster than before. The music in the background wasn't really loud and I wish the volume could be turned up, because the sound of my fluids mixing around his fingers echoed in my ears, causing me to feel slightly embarrassed.

"Aah! Eli!" I screamed loud as his thumb came in contact with my clit and he rubbed it hard and fast while his fingers plunged in and out of me, mimicking the act of sex. My moans were coming out really fast and really loud and I felt something in the pit of my stomach begin to grow. Eli's fingers were moving erratically in and out of me and I arched my back and cried out, screaming one last moan that was practically oozing with pleasure. My body collapsed on the bed and I breathed unevenly. Eli pulled his fingers out and through half lidded eyes; I could see a thin chain of my fluids drip from his fingers. I blushed and cleared my throat as Eli brought his fingers to his lips and sucked them clean.

"Mm, you taste so good." He moaned.

"I um… wouldn't know." I whispered, my face turning red.

Eli smirked and he kissed me. I could taste myself on his tongue, but I knew he wasn't kissing me so I could taste myself. Eli pulled his mouth back and he smiled a little, shifting in his spot. I glanced down at him and realized that he still had a "problem".

"Um, you don't have to if you don't want to." He looked away as if he were embarrassed. I smiled a little at how cute he could be sometimes.

I pulled on Eli's shorts and he licked his lower lip and slowly – hesitantly – pulled them down, enough to free his dripping arousal. I wanted to look away but I couldn't. This was the first time I'd actually seen _it _and I was slightly curious. After staring at him for what seemed like forever, I pulled his shorts off, the rest of the way down. Eli pinned his eye brows together and I removed my underwear, tossing them to the floor along with our other forgotten clothes. Eli asked, "Clare what are you… what's going on?"

"Eli, I want you to make love to me." I said, a little too quickly than I intended to.

Eli blinked a few times. He was confused, and I started to feel stupid for even mentioning it when I didn't get the reaction I wanted. The dull ache in my chest began to grow and I turned away, not wanting to look into his eyes.

"Clare, are you sure you're ready for us to… you know…" Eli asked.

"I am ready Eli. I want to experience this with you. My first time was with my father and… I don't want my last to be with him… please, I want you, and I'm ready." I whispered. Eli's Adams apple bobbed in his throat as he swallowed hard. Slowly, he nodded and I leaned over to kiss him. Our kiss was short as Eli asked; "Clare are you absolutely sure? I don't want us to make love and it be awkward in the end." I held his face in my hands and looked deep into his eyes. I leaned up to kiss his cheek and when I pulled back, I whispered, "Eli this is the perfect time… I want this." He nodded and moved away from me. I watched him intently as he moved around his room, trying to find something. After messing up his drawers, Eli walked back to the bed and he crawled on top of me. I wanted to ask what he got, but I was silenced with a kiss, before I could even say anything.

The sound of a wrapper being ripped was heard, and I realized that he had searched for a condom. I watched as he rolled it on over his length and he separated my legs, positioning himself against me. I was beginning to feel uncomfortable and I closed my eyes, tight. Eli seemed to notice this and he leaned down and pressed feather light kisses on my face.

"It's just me, Clare. I won't hurt you, I promise." He said.

I whimpered and nodded. Eli leaned back and he placed his hands on my knees, he nudged them apart and I kept them open for him. My eyes widened when I felt the elastic of the condom brush against me. Eli was gentle as he slowly pushed himself into me. I clenched my jaw. For some reason it hurt, maybe because he was _really big _and he was stretching me. Since there was nothing from stopping him to continue, Eli had moved himself all the way inside me. I refused to look at him. I couldn't look at him. Eli didn't move at all, but I knew it was hard for him not to, because he was whimpering and moaning, telling me how tight I was.

"E-Eli, I can't…" I could feel the tears stinging in my eyes and before I could continue my sentence, Eli had pulled me into his lap. I sat, straddling him. I didn't move though. Eli placed a few kisses on my neck and he moved up to my ear. He whispered, "It would be better if you were on top." I nodded and sniffled. There was a dull ache between my legs, but I ignored it as Eli gripped my hips and slowly moved them back and forth over his. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and my head fell to his shoulder. Eli continued to guide my hips while his open mouth kissed my shoulder. I gasped when he thrust his hips up, the moment mine moved forward. After I felt comfortable, I told Eli that he should lay back. He didn't need to be told twice and he did. I sat atop of him, staring down at his face. His eyes were hidden behind his bangs. I swallowed hard and moved my body up with my knees and I slowly sank down on top of him.

"Ooh." I moaned.

Eli's hands were still on my hips and I rolled my hips forward and back. Eli moaned and he moved his hips up each time I would thrust up and down. We both moaned in unison each time our body's connected. Eli reached up to touch me and I arched my back into his touch. I chewed on my lip and gasped. I moved down so I was lying on top of him. He thrust his hips up, fast. I moaned and placed my hands above his shoulders, lifting my upper body up as I lifted my hips up and down, meeting his fast and hard thrusts.

"Clare…" Eli gasped.

I could feel his body begin to shake as well as mine. The pit of my stomach started to boil uncomfortably and I could feel my inner walls begin to tighten. Eli moaned loud and his eyes rolled back. I could feel something inside me explode and I slouched on top of Eli. Eli's hips jerked as he gave one final thrust. Our breathing was fast and hard. Our skin was covered in a light sheen of sweat. Our hair was stuck to our neck and shoulders. Eli sat up so he could kiss me and I did return it, but pulled away so I could regain my breathing to an even state.

"That was amazing Eli." I whispered.

"Yeah." He responded.

I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and held him close to me as he placed his forehead against my neck. His arms were around my waist and once we were breathing evenly. Eli kissed my lips, slow and softly. He pushed me softly to lie on my back and I hissed when he pulled out of me. He walked to his bathroom and I could hear him throw away the condom and wash his hands. Eli walked back into his room and he crawled on the bed. He had pulled the sheets over us and I was surrounded by his warmth. Eli's chest was pressed into my back as he wrapped his arm securely around my waist. He nuzzled my neck and shoulders and placed one final kiss on my shoulder.

"I love you, Clare." He whispered.

"I love you too, Elijah." I responded, smiling wide.

End of Chapter 28

* * *

Was it too soon to add the romance? :( I didn't want it to be too soon. I don't know maybe I'm just being paranoid. So, how was it? Was it amazing? :O I think this is the best thing I've ever written. I tried not to make it the same thing I always tend to write, so what do you guys think? Leave me some reviews neh? I love lots of reviews! It took me fifteen hours to fucking right this, I've been up since what, ten writing it, so yeah, and it's almost one so bare with me if there are mistakes.

One last thing, I didn't seem rushed, with the whole Fitz, Jenna, KC and Drew dilemma at the Dot right? :/

Sorry, ranting, reviews? Yes? Leave me some!

Goodbye for now!

P.S: **9,064 **words ;)


	29. the running free

Disclaimer: Degrassi is something I don't own, sadly… I do own Eli's five year old cousin though, Maureen.

A/N: Oh! Over 900 reviews! EEK! You guys have NO idea how excited I am from the amount of reviews I'm getting for this story! Like really, you have no idea. I hope you guys like this chapter! It's going to start two days after Eli and Clare's lovely little romance moment, and he's going to be entering St. Carson's Mental Health Facility. I'm going to try and make the chapters a lot longer, because **Alibis is going to be complete in six chapters**, and there's still a lot to be revealed. Anyway, I hope you like this chapter!

Oh and **The Brightside (side story to Alibis)** will be featured in this chapter, since I couldn't find the time to actually finish typing it, I decided to have it in here as Eli telling it to a new friend, the scene changes to italics, that is his story. If you ask me to post or anything of the sort about the side story, I swear on my life I'll be on you like white on rice…

Warnings: Your mom, lol, just kidding there aren't any warnings.

Enjoy chapter 29!

* * *

Alibis

Summary: Waiting for change to lead him down a more innocent path, death obsessed Elijah Goldsworthy finds it in a blue eyed beauty, but perhaps with an even darker past than his own.

* * *

CHAPTER 29

"You will write to me?"

"I promise Clare; I will write to you every single day, you'll visit me?"

Clare nodded and I reached up to cup her cheek. She leaned into my hand and I frowned, watching her big blue eyes become glassy with unshed tears. I sighed and wrapped my arm around her waist, pulling her to me. Clare buried her head in my chest and her arms wrapped themselves around my shoulders. I rubbed Clare's back and she whimpered against me. I pulled her back and looked into her eyes. I smiled warmly at her.

"I'll see you in a week or two. I love you." I whispered against her cheek as I placed a kiss there. Clare nodded and she got up on her tip toes and kissed me. I returned the kiss, even if it was a short chaste once. Clare pulled away and sniffled. I turned around and walked to the car that my parents were currently sitting in. Her hand gripped mine before she finally let go. I got into the back seats of the car and sighed heavily.

I didn't even bare to look back, because I knew Clare was crying.

The car started to move and I was off to _my new home_…

"She'll be fine Eli." Mom said.

"I know… I'm just… going to miss her." I muttered.

Mom turned around in the passenger and she smiled warmly at me. She reached out and placed her hand on my knee. I smiled a little. I had to turn away from her gaze, because I was on the verge of crying, and I didn't want my mom to see me cry, even if she has seen me cry countless times. But I didn't want her to worry, so I just bit back my tears.

I leaned my head against the window and closed my eyes.

…

…

St. Carson's Mental Health Facility

…

…

"Good evening, you must be Eli."

Like a little kid, I hid behind my parents and looked over their shoulders at the middle aged nurse. Her name was Pam. I wanted to run out of here, or beg my parents not leave me here, but I knew that would only attract attention and have like five nurses run up out of nowhere and stab me with a needle. Mom and dad continued to talk to the old woman named Pam as I looked around the entire white prison. The windows had irons bars over them, and the walls were painted white; everything in this god forsaken place was white. It's like heaven in their eyes, but hell in mine.

"Well Eli, we're going to go now, we'll see you tomorrow okay?" Mom said. I nodded and my parents stared at me awkwardly. I walked forward and they wrapped their arms around me. I smiled a little and hugged them back.

"Bye Elijah." Dad whispered.

My eyes closed and the warmth that surrounded me was now gone. I opened my eyes to see my parents half way down the hallway. I frowned and looked down next to me, eyeing the suitcases full of my clothes, shoes, and accessories. I swallowed hard and tugged on my pants. I wanted to get out of here, I felt out of place…

"Well Eli, let's get you situated, you arrived just in time for group therapy." Pam said as she grabbed my suit cases and led the way. I followed closely behind her.

"Group therapy?" I muttered.

"Yes, you will meet a lot of kids your age that are just like you." She attempted to make me smile, but flashing me a smile of her own.

"Just like me…" I repeated.

Pam turned to me and smiled. I cleared my throat. I've been in here for a little over thirty minutes and the smell of Clorox bleach and old moth eaten clothes. I shuddered and swallowed the lump in my throat. I can't believe my parents signed me into this place. It feels like I've been here for more than a year and I already missed home. I missed Clare, so much… the very thought of not being able to see her every day broke my heart.

"Here we are, Eli this is your room for the next week or so, this here is your roommate, Aiden, Aiden this is Eli. I'll let you two get more acquainted." Pam whispered and she set my stuff against the bed. The room was deathly quiet and I shifted my weight from one leg to the other. Aiden just stared at me. She was leaning against the wall, at the corner. Her arms were crossed across her chest and her long dark hair fell over her shoulders, shielding her pale face; hiding her deep brown eyes; I could faintly see the hospital bracelet on her left wrist. She wore an oversized white t-shirt and a pair of loose pants that showed off her ankles. I smiled a little and she moved away from the wall.

"What are you in for?" She asked finally, after a long pause.

"Stuff." I muttered.

"That's what we're all in here for." Aiden joked. I laughed and she smiled. Aiden walked up to me and she sat down on my bed. I shoved my suitcase underneath it and leaned up against the wall. Aiden and I stared at each other for a while, and she sighed. I swallowed hard and looked away.

"Are you going to group therapy?" She asked.

"I don't think I have a choice." I responded.

Aiden shrugged her shoulders and she hopped off the bed. She was bare foot and walking up to me, dragging her feet on the cold floor. She pulled her long hair over her shoulder and I got a glimpse of a scar starting from the side of her neck to the middle of her throat. She caught me looking at her and I turned away quickly. Aiden chuckled. She said, "This was an accident, father didn't like me very much." I grimaced and chewed on my bottom lip. Aiden laughed again.

"You seem very shy, Eli. Funny, you don't seem the type." Aiden stated.

"Is that a problem?" I questioned.

"Not at all, I get to find out more about you during group therapy, since they insist in getting into our lives and digging for secrets that aren't meant to be told." Aiden smirked. I snorted, but agreed with her. She walked out of the room with her arms crossed across her chest. Aiden turned back in the door frame, and glanced at me. My attention lifted up from the floor to meet her deep gaze.

"Are you coming?" She asked.

I nodded and walked out of the room and followed this girl down the long slightly crowded hallway. Before we went to group therapy, she showed me around. The hospital was odd, full of anorexic teens, suicidal teens, and ones that were just completely fucking crazy. After walking around for a good thirty minutes, we ended up in a large room with a large circle of chairs sitting directly in the middle of the room. On the other side sat a long white table full of snacks and refreshments. Aiden and I took a seat in the two empty chairs, and we waited.

"Who's the new guy?"

"Oh, everyone," Aiden grabbed the attention of the room and I bowed my head; "this is Eli, Eli, welcome to group therapy." I smiled sheepishly at everyone and started to furiously rake my fingers in my hair and tug at the roots.

The door in the back was slammed shut, causing me to almost jump ten feet from the chair. Aiden giggled.

"Sorry I'm late everyone, I had some unfinished business to take care of, now who would like to start today?"

The man that came to the hospital that one night when I was there stood in front of everyone. If I remember correctly, his name was Dr. Rhodes.

"Ah, Jack, what would you like to share with us?" Dr. Rhodes sat down in the empty chair behind him and smiled at the boy named Jack.

"I found a rat today in the basement," He muttered.

"Oh… well that's—

Jack glanced up at him darkly and smiled a little; "I skinned it alive and ate it." My lip twitched and I grimaced. Dr. Rhodes cleared his throat and turned away. Jack smiled and he brought his legs up to his chest and buried his face in his knees. I swallowed nervously and reached up to nervously rub the back of my neck. Dr. Rhodes noticed me and he smiled a little.

"It looks like we have someone new joining us today."

No shit Sherlock?

"Elijah—

"Eli." I corrected him quickly.

"Right, Eli, I know it's your first day, but, do you have something you would like to share?" He asked me. I shook my head and looked down.

"Nothing at all?" He asked.

I shook my head again. Like he said, this is my first day, so I wasn't going to automatically open up to people. Then again, if I want out of this damn place, opening up to these psycho doctors might just help. Who knows, maybe I'll get let out in less than a week. I couldn't be too sure, because I know that I can't be let out if I think I'm okay, it's their word against mine. But, it's worth a shot.

"Um… can I introduce myself first?" I asked. Dr. Rhodes nodded and I smiled a little. "I'm um… Eli, but you already know that… and… um… sorry I'm not really used to opening up to strangers," I got a few laughs from people, and that alone made me feel a little bit better; "I guess I would um… like to talk about my first suicide attempt."

"So you're suicidal." Someone asked.

"Obviously, did you not hear him?" Another added.

I watched the two argue in front of me and I frowned. I felt someone tap my arm and turned over to Aiden. She whispered, "It's nothing to worry about, they are always fighting, it's practically a miracle when they're not. We won't be able to hear your story now that they're fighting with each other." I tried hard not to sigh in utter relief. Just the thought of telling people about my first suicide attempt scared me, thinking that they would run off and tell everyone. Aiden growled and she got up. I eyed her curiously.

"I'm getting out of here, going to the roof, want to come with?"

I glanced at Dr. Rhodes, who was busy trying to calm the arguing patients, and then back at Aiden. She weighed the options in her hands.

"Stay? Go?"

…

…

"How often do you come up here?"

"Every chance I get… I like to cloud gaze up here. It's calming." Aiden lay back on the gravel covered roof and stared up at the sky. I stood up next to her, glanced around and then lay down next to her, shifting around as I tried to get comfortable. I glanced up at the sky and smiled. The massive, large blue sky made me think of Clare's eyes, and I instantly frowned and suddenly felt awkwardly upset.

"Something on your mind?" Aiden asked, breaking the silence.

"I miss my girlfriend." I muttered.

"Oh, girlfriend, what's her name?" Aiden asked as she sat up cross legged next to me. She was just barely blocking the sun from my vision, but I still had to hold my hand up to cover my eyes from the burning rays radiating from the sun.

"Clare." I responded.

"Pretty name, I bet she's a pretty girl," Aiden smiled. I nodded; "She's beautiful." I answered. Aiden smiled again and she reached up to tuck her long hair behind her ear. Aiden started to drum her fingers on her knees and she glanced at me, and then turned her attention elsewhere, as if she wanted to ask me something.

"Something on _your_ mind?" I asked.

Aiden sighed a little.

"You were going to tell us about your first suicide attempt… would you tell me?" Aiden asked.

"I don't open up to people that easily." I answered quickly.

Aiden frowned. "It's easy, look, I'll do it first. About three years ago, I had discovered that I wasn't into boys, and that I liked girls, right. Well, unfortunately, my parents didn't really enjoy that idea when they found out. They took me out of school and isolated me from the world, home schooled me, everything. A year ago, I brought an old 'friend' of mine home. My parents didn't know she was my girlfriend at the time. I took her upstairs to my room, we were 'playing' and when my dad bolted in the room, he grabbed my girlfriend by the hair and literally dragged her out of the house," Aiden took a deep breath and sighed shakily, "Um… after that day, I was slowly beginning to think that my parents were never going to accept me for being the only gay kid in the family… so, one night I just grabbed a knife and did it."

"Did it?" I repeated.

Aiden lifted her shirt, revealing the deep, gash like wound across her stomach. Just looking at it made my stomach hurt.

"Your turn." She said.

I swallowed nervously and reached up to rub the back of my neck. Aiden seemed like someone I could trust… it's not like she had anybody to tell my story to… But, Clare has taught me one thing that I should learn to trust people, so I might as well make the best of it, and trust Aiden. She told me her story, even if it was short, so I should tell her mine, right?

"It's a long story and I get really descriptive, so get ready." I finally said.

"Oh, I love long descriptive stories, ready when you are captain!" Aiden smiled.

I chuckled. "Um, it started two months ago; it was the last few weeks of school…

…

…

…

…

_Since as long as I could remember, my mother would always sit me down on the couch and lecture to me on how I am not alive to please people. That different is good. Being different is okay. Unfortunately, as I grew older and smarter, I started to realize that she was only telling me that to make me feel better. It's clear she was only trying to protect me from "what comes in life" but she wasn't protecting me by making me out to be the biggest wimp ever._

_All my life, I was pushed around by people my age, and people who were older. I was bullied, harassed, assaulted by many people. I had no friends; my parents didn't give two shits about me. I would come home with bruises on my face, my lip would be bleeding, and I would have bruises on my ribs and everywhere else on my body. When I would come home, my parents would ask what happened, but after I would tell them, they would scream at me, tell me to toughen up, be a man._

_I've learned throughout the years of growing up to ignore, distance myself from people._

_To never trust anybody was the key._

_Since I did this, my physical appearance changed. I started wearing much darker clothes, painting my nails black, wearing eyeliner, getting piercings that my parents would practically rip out. I was the opposite of what they wanted their son to grow up like. They wanted me to be a pretty boy, wearing everything but black. But, sorry to rain on their parade, just like my mom would tell me, being different is good, different is okay. And, I wasn't about to change my ways because they decided to change their minds. I'm happy the way I am, happy, content with myself. They just have to learn to accept that._

_So, here I am, age seventeen and still trying to gain their acceptance…_

_…_

_…_

_The alarm started blaring at exactly six thirty in the morning. And, like always, I didn't hesitate in slamming my fist down on it to shut it up. I sat up lazily and moved to the side, placing my feet on the floor of my messy room. While yawning and scratching the back of my head, I got up and started walking to the bathroom to take a quick shower. When I was finished, I walked out of my bathroom that had turned into a small sauna with a towel around my waist and my hair soaking wet._

_I walked to my dresser and pulled it open, rummaging through the mess of clothes inside. After countless times of looking through my messy drawers, I ended up grabbing my black skinny jeans and an old My Chemical Romance t-shirt. When I got dressed, the door to my room was slammed open and I jumped from the sudden action._

_"Oh, you're awake, well if I'm going to be taking you to school, hurry up; I don't want to wait for you to finishing fixing yourself." My dad's grungy voice echoed in my room as I walked to my dresser and grabbed my silver guitar pick necklace and placing it around my neck. He walked out of my room and I finished putting on my accessories; a few black elastic bracelets on my left wrist, and a thick black studded bracelet on my right wrist._

_When I looked up, and actually got a good look at myself, I didn't realize I had dark circles under my eyes. I sighed and looked around for that small pencil of eyeliner that I had. Once I found it, I pulled the cap off and applied a small amount around my eyes before smudging it, making it look like I didn't just cake it on like a bunch of girls at Degrassi do._

_I walked out of my room with my bag over my shoulder and my shoes in one hand._

_Dad was in the living room, staring blankly at the TV._

_"Why are you wearing eyeliner, guys don't wear eyeliner." My dad said._

_"And are you seriously about to get into this conversation with me? Why ask if I'm going to give you the same answer as before." I responded while pulling my shoes on. I heard him snort and he mumbled something under his breath that I couldn't understand. My mom was in the kitchen making coffee and she soon walked out and handed me some money for lunch. I smiled a little at her and she kissed the top of my head and walked back into the kitchen._

_"Are you ready?" Dad asked._

_"Yeah, let's go." I said softly._

_We both got up in unison, and I followed my dad out the front door. I climbed into his white pick-up truck and he wasted no time in turning the ignition on, and quickly pulling out of the driveway. I stared out the window, and sighed softly through my nose. To say I absolutely hated going to school would be a huge understatement, I fucking dreaded it. Each day it's the same thing, but not. I always awaited for something new to happen._

_Getting shoved into lockers…_

_Each day was like a new bruise._

_Each day was a different experience of hell._

_My father nudges my shoulder, trying to grab my attention. I realized that I had dozed off, and I unfastened my seatbelt and opened the door. When I stepped out of the truck, I slammed the door shut, and watched him speed off, disappearing around the corner. I clenched the strap on my bag and looked around the front of the school, which was already packed with students that had lingering eyes._

_I hadn't been here even five minutes, and the rumors are already ready to be spread. I rolled my eyes and walked up the steps, and pushed open the glass door, and headed to my locker. My best friend was already waiting for me as well as my girlfriend, and I couldn't help but smile mentally. Jenna Middleton, my girlfriend, my everything… my love. Her smile brightened up everything around me and I absolutely adored it. She walked up to me halfway and wrapped her arms around my neck, kissing me hard in the middle of the hallway. Around us I could hear people whispering how "revolting" it is for people to show PDA, but I could care the fuck less, if they don't like it, then don't look. It's as simple as that._

_I pulled away and she kept her hands wrapped around my neck, her fingers grazing in my hair._

_"Morning Eli, how are you on this fine day?" She asked._

_I shrugged my shoulders and wrapped my arms around her shoulders while she snaked her arm around my waist. As I walked to my locker, Adam pushed himself off the lockers and he walked around me and Jenna and said, "What's up?" I twisted the combination to the combination lock and opened my locker. I glanced over at him and turned my attention to the inside of my half decent looking locker. I grabbed my history book and closed my locker._

_"Same shit, different day." I finally answered._

_"Ah, well, let me tell you, Fiona and I, damn we got into the biggest fight last night." Adam started blabbing on and on and on about his rich and fancy girlfriend Fiona and he got into a fight about who knows what. I wasn't paying much attention, so I wrapped my arm around Jenna's shoulders and led her away from him. I smirked, hearing him shout that I was a dick. _

_"You're so mean to him." Jenna chuckled._

_"Not all the time." I responded nonchalantly while shrugging my shoulders slightly. Jenna smiled a little and we both stopped once I reached her class. I kissed her temple and she walked into the classroom. Just like always, I could hear people whispering around me. Saying, "What's a cute cheerleader like Jenna, doing with a gothic freak like me?" I sighed and headed to my class, maneuvering around the sea of people, trying to avoid them at all costs. With my cursed luck, I was slammed into some lockers by none other than Mark "Fitz" Fitzgerald, his stupid little minions standing behind him laughing like a bunch of monkeys._

_"Oops." He said sarcastically._

_I rubbed my aching shoulder and breathed heavily._

_"Aw look, the little emo kid is going to cry." Fitz mocked._

_I glared at him, my jaw clenching to the point that I could hear my teeth grinding against each other. I balled my fists up and looked away. I walked around him and he shouted, "Yeah that's right, walk away! You're never going to do shit to me anyway!" As much as I wanted to turn around and pound his face into the floor and watch the tiles crack from the force, I continued walking. I only fight when I need to._

_And, fighting with a Neanderthal wasn't on my checklist. When I arrived at my class, I took my seat at the far end of the half full room. As usual, I slouched in my seat, and took my thick black sharpie out and began coloring my nails with them, filling the empty spaces that are there. I wasn't really paying much attention to what was going on around me. I was in my own little space._

_"Oh, look! He's painting his nails again."_

_"He's so weird; I wonder what his home life is like. I bet his parents are really strict to him."_

_"Isn't he an Atheist, or is he a Satanist? I wouldn't be surprised if he was either or." _

_"I don't know how you guys can sit there and talk crap about someone, physical appearance shouldn't matter to anybody! You're so judgmental, Eli is a sweet person."_

_I smirked, listening to the person bash out the others. I glanced up at her and she smiled in my direction. She and I would have decent conversations every now and then, but I wouldn't consider her a friend of mine. When class started, the entire roomed became deathly silent, and Mr. Purino walked in, carrying his leather briefcase in his hand and placing it on his desk. He opened it and pulled out a thick stack of papers._

_"Pop quiz!" He announced, receiving a large amount of whiny groans from the students. I put away my sharpie and took a pencil out from the depths of my bag. When Mr. Purino walked by my desk, and placed a pink test paper between my arms. I wrote my name at the top and gazed down at the questions. This was going to be easy. It didn't take me long to finish the quiz, and when I did, I got up and walked to the front of the classroom, and handed Mr. Purino the test, standing off to the side while he graded it it._

_I was busy staring at my own two feet, not really wanting to look at the many faces in the classroom. _

_"Good job Eli, you got a perfect fifty out of fifty." Mr. Purino stated._

_"Thanks." I responded while taking my paper and heading back to my desk. Just like in classic old high school movies, someone had stuck their leg out in the middle of the aisle before I could realize it being there. I did trip, but I didn't fall, I caught myself just in time and stared at the boy who snickered quickly. I rolled my eyes and straightened myself out._

_"Amateurs." I continued making my way to my desk and I sat down in it, slouching like before. Everybody soon started to gather around Mr. Purino's desk and would either complain about failing, or would high five their friends for passing. It's official, I'm surrounded by morons. Impatiently, I waited for the bell to ring. I had been here for a short amount of time, and I was already ready to head back home. I hated this place. I hated this place with a fiery passion. _

_The sound of the bell rang in my ears, and I quickly gathered my belongings and walked out of the classroom. Like I always do every single day, I walked to Jenna's classroom and waited outside for her. When the line of people exit the classroom, I watched Jenna follow behind a girl and when she saw me, she smiled and pranced up to me. Her arms linked around my neck and I pulled her close to me, my back hit the lockers with a soft thud._

_I smiled down at her and leaned down to kiss her, chastely._

_"So, I know it's second period, but I can't wait for tonight… I've been so ready to do this, especially with you." Jenna said while playing with the strands of hair on the back of my neck. I played with the hem of her shirt and smirked. Jenna leaned up to kiss me, standing up on her tip toes. She pulled away took my hand in hers. After walking to my locker to get the extra pair of clothes I keep in there, she led us both to the Gym since we had P.E. together. We parted ways, heading to the different locker rooms. When I pushed through the doors, I saw that Adam was already changing in his usual corner._

_I walked over to him, tossing my bag next to the bench and I removed my shirt to pull on the worn out V-neck I had in the bag, and then my shoes and pants were next, which were replaced with my black basketball shorts._

_"Dude, we have to talk, now." Adam said, placing a hand on my shoulder. I nodded and we both made our way outside of the lockers, and we took a seat on the empty bleachers. Adam turned to me and said, "So, okay there's a rumor going around that Fitz is going to—_

_"Beat me to a pulp? Adam I've heard this rumor too many times, and I have yet to see it happen. The guys a wimp, I'm not scared of him." I cut in. Adam pressed his lips to a thin line and nodded. He looked over my shoulder and frowned. I turned to look over my shoulder as well and watched Fitz walk up with two of his friends. Great. This is exactly what I need. When Fitz approached me with his posies walking behind him, he stood in front of me, his arms crossed tightly across his chest._

_"What do you want?" I asked._

_"Watch how you talk to me emo boy, you better be glad I don't—_

_"What beat me up? I've endured every single thing you could possibly do to me, getting another punch in the face isn't going to be any different." I responded sardonically. Fitz's lip twitched and he dropped his arms to his sides. Before I could comprehend anything that was going on, the entire left side of my face felt like a door had just slammed itself against me. I squeezed my eyes shut, feeling the pain turn into a massive headache._

_"Fitz, just back off! Leave Eli alone!" Adam shouted as he walked over me and pushed Fitz back. I glanced over my shoulder and sighed heavily, watching Adam fight my own battles. Not that I cared at the moment, I could barely stand up without feeling mind blowing pain. After screaming for about five minutes, Adam finally got them to leave us alone. He sat down next to me, placing a hand over my shoulder and asking if I was alright._

_"I'll be fine." I responded softly._

_He nodded and we both got up eventually to do our exercises, and then after that we could do whatever we wanted. I, however, decided to steal Jenna away and take her to the empty locker rooms. Nobody was allowed in there while class was in session, so there wasn't going to be a chance of someone catching us. Jenna stood in the middle of the girl's locker room and watched as I closed and locked the doors. When I turned to her, I had her backed up against the wall already, and my lips attacking hers._

_"Mmm, Eli, wouldn't we get in some sort of trouble for this?" Jenna moaned._

_"Not if you keep quiet." I purred, brushing my knee in between her legs. She moaned and tilted her head back. I smirked and attacked her neck, tasting her sweet flesh. Jenna gasped and she clenched my biceps, and pressed her body closer to mine. My lips curled up into a smirk against her skin and licked a line up to her lips, pushing my tongue in between them. Jenna responded to the kiss and reached up to clench her hands in my shirt._

_"Eli, if we—continue this here… I might not be able to stop myself… I want to wait." Jenna whimpered as I reached down to rub the place in between her legs. I pouted and Jenna rolled her eyes. She pushed me to sit down on the bench and I pinned my eyebrows together and she yanked my shorts down and I almost let out a squeak. Jenna smiled and she grabbed my cock and nuzzled it before engulfing her mouth around the base._

_"Jenna… not here." I groaned, grabbing the back of her head to pry her off. But the second her lips were wrapped around the tip, she gave a hard suck, causing me to moan and clench her hair in between my fingers. I know for a fact that nobody would be barging in any time soon, but I still feared having someone barge through the door and watch Jenna suck my dick. I groaned and thrust my hips forward, feeling her teeth graze along the base of my cock before she pulled back completely._

_"Come on Eli, we have a class to participate in." She smirked before placing a kiss on my lips._

_I groaned and pulled my shorts up, and fixed myself before Jenna and I both walked out of the locker room._

_We headed to the bleachers, sitting next to Adam who had his nose stuck inside an old comic book. Which, to be honest, made me wonder where he got it, because I didn't see him with it when we walked out. Maybe he went back into the locker room to get it, I'm not sure. Jenna was leaning against me and I had my arms wrapped around her. A few of Jenna's friends walked up to us and they glared directly at me. _

_"Jenna what are you doing with the Goth kid…" _

_Jenna sighed. "Marisol, how many times do I have to tell you? Eli is my boyfriend… I have every right to be with him." I watched her dark skinned friend snort un-lady like and she crossed her arms across her chest. Jenna pulled away from me and I switched glances between her and Marisol and the other two standing beside her._

_"Marisol, I suggest you just shut your mouth. Eli is an amazing person, and I love him. Either you get the fuck over the fact that I want to hang out with him more than you, or you can forget us being friends." Jenna snapped. As much as I wanted to jump in and say something less kindergarten, like Jenna, had I kept my ground and watched Jenna and her friends argue about me. Marisol being a dumb bitch and calling me stupid names like "emo bitch" or "satanic Goth boy". I laughed. It's not like I hadn't heard those before. After fighting for what seemed like forever, Jenna was eventually sitting back next to me and I had to hold her shoulders softly and kiss her temple a few times so she could calm down._

_"I just don't understand how people can be so cruel! Judging other's by their physical appearance…" Jenna frowned._

_"Jenna, I don't care." I laughed._

_She turned around to face me and smiled softly. "How did I end up with an amazing boyfriend?" She asked. I shrugged my shoulders and leaned in to kiss her. Jenna smiled and she returned the kiss before placing her head back on my shoulder while my arms wrapped themselves around her shoulders, my chin rested on top of her head. We remained like this for the rest of the class period, listening to Adam talk about his girlfriend and how much he wanted to kill her. I laughed a few times, because I know how he felt. Fiona is a dumb bitch, and she's too good for Adam._

_He deserves much better than her._

_"Alright class, time to change, the bell rings in a few minutes." Coach Armstrong announced. The entire class got up and they walked to the different locker rooms. As Adam and I made our way to the guy's locker room, we grabbed our corner and began changing. Adam glanced over at me when I lifted shirt over my head. _

_"Dude, what happened to your rib?" He asked._

_I glanced down and frowned, eyeing the large black and blue bruise over my ribcage. I quickly grabbed my other t-shirt, and threw it on; muttering, "Nothing… it's nothing I fell." Adam frowned and when I finished getting dressed, I quickly grabbed my bag and bolted out of the locker room. Adam came following after me and he grabbed my shoulder, turning me around._

_"Is your father hitting you again?" He hissed._

_"Yes Adam, can you say it a little louder?" I questioned. He frowned and his hand fell to his side. Adam's face softened and I looked away._

_"Why didn't you call me? I could've come get you." Adam stated. I shrugged my shoulders and started walking away again. I met up with Jenna and when the bell rang, I practically pushed her out of the doors and walked to my locker. Jenna looked up at me, giving me a confused look. I knew what she was about to ask, but I wasn't going to tell her. I didn't feel like talking about it. Adam already knows, but if Jenna finds out she's going to try and do something about it, but she can't…_

_When we made it to my locker I furiously started to twist the combination, but each time I failed. I was so fucking annoyed that I wasn't entirely concentrating on the combination lock._

_"Eli, Eli you have to calm down." Jenna said reassuringly as she placed a hand on my shoulder. I growled in frustration and kicked my locker, hard, creating a dint. Jenna jumped and she backed up. I rested my forehead against it and sighed a little. Jenna reached up to touch my shoulder and I glanced over at her. She turned my head to her and leaned up to press a kiss on my cheek. I closed my eyes and whispered, "I'm sorry." She smiled and turned me to face her. Jenna wrapped her arms around my neck and I rested my forehead against hers while my arms linked around her waist. _

_"Eli, you know I love you right?" Jenna said._

_"I love you too." I responded._

_"Can you tell me what's wrong? You were fine earlier…" Jenna stated obviously. _

_"At lunch, I'll tell you at lunch." _

_Jenna frowned, but she nodded nonetheless. She leaned up to kiss me and walked away to her class. I sighed and started to twist the combination to my locker more calmly than I had before and soon opened it. I grabbed my algebra book and closed my locker after shoving my P.E. clothes inside. I headed to my class and took a seat in the back, like I normally did._

_…_

_…_

_The day had gone by quicker than I expected. The bullying didn't stop, but it wasn't as bad as I usually experience. I had gotten rammed into a few lockers and Principal Simpson had to break up a fight between me and Fitz, the usual. I'd get off with a warning, while Fitz had to suffer the afternoon with two hours in detention. I was currently sitting in the last class of the day, English – Mrs. Kwan._

_We were currently going over the book The Scarlet Letter. I wasn't entirely fond of it, but I didn't hate it either. I was more into Edgar Allen Poe's writing. It's darker than the usual stuff that this school makes us read. I sighed and rolled my eyes about the thought. _

_"Mr. Goldsworthy, would you care to share your comments about this book?" Mrs. Kwan asked as she took a seat on her desk, with one foot propped onto the floor. Everybody's head in unison turned to face me and I glanced at all of them. I suddenly felt nervous and I swallowed hard, trying to force the lump down my throat. I never get nervous when it comes to explaining my thoughts about a book, but… now it's just… weird._

_"To be honest, I didn't like it Mrs. Kwan." I responded._

_"Oh, why is that?" She asked a little interested in what I had to say._

_"Because—_

_"Because, it didn't have someone cutting their wrists open or practicing satanic rituals." Someone had answered, cutting me off._

_The class burst into laughter and I glared directly at the person who "answered" my question. They began to grow a little uneasy with me staring at them hard. My glare was so intense that they shifted nervously in his seat. When I turned my attention back to Mrs. Kwan, I continued what I started to say; "First off, I just thought it wasn't all that great. The emotion in it was just bland, and I didn't enjoy it. Simple as that. And no, I didn't like it because it didn't have satanic rituals being practiced, or people who cut themselves," I directed my sentence towards the asshole across the room, "Why read it when I can do it myself?"_

_Listening to everybody gasp made my lips curl up into a smirk. I loved to tease these gullible fuckers. Mrs. Kwan cleared her throat and she quickly asked someone else their opinion on the book. I sighed a little and looked down at my arms. I could vaguely make out the faded scars going up and down my arms. They were old, but they still made my chest ache from remembering what happened when I hurt myself._

_I was engrossed in staring at my scars that I didn't even hear the bell ring, signaling that the last class of the day was over. Mrs. Kwan had to call my attention a few times. I finally came back to reality and I started to gather my stuff lazily before walking out of the empty classroom. As expected, Jenna was waiting for me outside the classroom, but she was talking to none other than Mark Fitzgerald…_

_Since I normally don't think before my actions, I practically almost pounced on him, but Jenna had stopped me in time, placing a hand over my chest and saying, "Eli, calm down. He's just asking me a question."_

_"About what?" I growled._

_"About… history." Jenna shrugged._

_I switched glances between them, eyeing them both carefully. Jenna turned to Fitz and told him to get lost, which he (surprisingly) turned tail and walked off. Jenna sighed and she turned back to me, placing her arms around my neck and saying, "Now, let's get out of here. I'm hungry." I smirked and nodded. We walked to my locker and I practically threw everything in there. Jenna and I walked out of the school, hand in hand and the second we stood on the sidewalk, I realized that I didn't drive to school this morning._

_"We're going to have to walk." I said quietly._

_"That's fine, I could use the fresh air. Let's go!" Jenna gripped my hand and she practically dragged me across the road as we made our way to The Dot. Jenna and I walked inside and we took a seat at the counter. _

_"What are you getting?" She asked while looking at the menu._

_"I'm not hungry; you can order whatever you like." I said. Jenna smiled wide and just as expected, she started to order the most expensive things on the menu. I wouldn't be surprised if it came out to over forty dollars. Not that I minded though, I love buying things for Jenna. It's not like she ever took advantage of me in that way. When Jenna had finally finished ordering she turned to me and reached down to grab my hand and interlaced our fingers._

_"Are you ready for tonight?" She asked softly._

_"You're making it sound like I've never had sex before." I joked._

_"But you haven't… we both haven't and this is… this is special between us." Jenna flashed me a smile and I smiled in return. I leaned over and placed a chaste kiss on her cheek and she blushed a little. We continued to talk for what seemed like eternity while Jenna ate her food, and I had grown impatient. I wanted to just take her home after school, but… I wanted to wait for her. Today is about her, not me… I wanted to make sure that she was going to enjoy this. After an hour or so, Jenna had finally finished eating, and we were already making our way to the house._

_I didn't expect us to be chatting on the way there… I was silent, and so was Jenna. She was fidgeting with her smiles and her palms were sweating, as well as mine. I sighed a little and once we rounded the corner to my house. Jenna was chatting away about what we should do, but me being a guy, I was just excited that we were actually about to have sex for the first time. The thought alone made me smirk._

_"Eli, are you listening?" Jenna pouted._

_"Huh, oh… no." I responded nonchalantly._

_"Ugh, fine." Jenna smiled a little. We walked up the steps to my house and I reached into my pocket and pulled out my house keys. To myself, I was begging that my parents weren't home, because having them here and listening to me and Jenna fuck isn't going to be something they'll let go. When I opened the door, Jenna walked in and she headed straight to my room. I rolled my eyes._

_"I'll get us something to drink!" I shouted._

_"Okay! Take your time!" Jenna responded._

_I walked into the kitchen after placing my keys on the coffee table. After opening the fridge and grabbing two cans of soda, I headed to the other side of the kitchen to grab some snacks; I walked to my room and smiled, finding Jenna sitting comfortably on my bed. I walked up to her and placed the drinks and snacks on the nightstand. Before I could comprehend anything that was going on, Jenna had pulled me to her, and I fell on top of her. I smirked down at her and she wrapped her arms around my neck and leaned up to fuse our lips together._

_I kissed her back with such fervor, that I didn't hear the small moan that formed in her throat. Jenna pulled away after our tongues wrestled and she pressed her lips into my neck, making me shudder and moan softly. Jenna's lips skipped back up to my lips and we kissed again. She started to tug on my shirt, and I leaned back to remove it. The second it was off, her hand reached up to touch me. I smirked and settled my body back down on top of hers._

_Jenna thrust her tongue into my mouth as I reached inside her shirt, brushing my fingers up and down her side, and up to her breast, cupping it gently._

_Jenna moaned and arched against my touch. I groped her a few times before pulling my hand from under her shirt, only to remove the annoying clothing. Jenna didn't seem to mind because the minute I removed her shirt, she started to unbutton her pants. _

_"Jenna, are you sure you're ready?" I asked._

_"Yes, I'm sure." She assured me._

_I smiled a little and nodded. Jenna and I resumed kissing, touching each other in places that we both needed attention. Once we were both ready, I grabbed a condom from the inside of the drawer of my nightstand and slipped it on. Jenna chewed nervously on her bottom lip as I guided my cock to her entrance. We both hissed as I made my way inside her. She was really tight, so it made it hard for me not to immediately start fucking her after I shoved myself all the way in, Jenna screaming both from pain and pleasure…_

…

…

…

…

"So what happened next?" Aiden asked.

"The next day I um… went to school, and found out that she recorded our entire sexcapade and showed it to all her friends… she made me believe that she loved me and that she was the one… I fell for the wrong person. After going through the entire day getting made fun of because of what Jenna showed them, I went home, not saying anything to my parents. I just went to my room, locked myself inside it, grabbed a pair of scissors and slit my wrists open. My parents found me half alive and half dead on the floor in my bathroom. I woke up at the hospital three days later." I explained. I glanced up at Aiden and she blinked a few times.

"That's really upsetting dude, I can't believe Jenna would do something so heartless." She said.

"Me either… but, I do have Clare now, so that's all that matters." I said, smiling lightly and staring blankly at the pebbles Aiden and I sat on.

"When did you meet Clare?" Aiden asked.

"Almost two months ago. She was my neighbor when I first met her. I was a bit of a creep when I first saw her. I was like watching her almost every day. But, we've grown to love each other… as much as love scares me, she's turned me around into a whole different person, I've changed… but my parents still insist in throwing me in the mental prison." I growled.

"Same with my family, but, at least you admit to changing, not many people can do that."

I smiled at Aiden and she smiled back in return at me.

"Well Eli, it looks like we've developed a friendship." Aiden said.

We stared at each other for a brief moment and I shrugged my shoulders.

"If you say so."

"I know so." She winked and lay back down on the gravel. I laughed and lay down with her. We both stared up at sky and I sighed gently.

I couldn't wait to tell Clare that I had just made a new friend.

End of Chapter 29

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To be completely honest, this chapter didn't come out the way I wanted, so in other words, it sucked, really bad. I can tell. I had to end it like that because it is currently a little after one in the morning and I can barely keep my eyes open, so I hope I didn't disappoint you guys, really. I know it sucked ._.

Reviews? Yes? Okay..


	30. she is the sunlight, the sun is gone

Disclaimer: Degrassi is something I don't own, sadly… I do own Eli's five year old cousin though, Maureen.

A/N: Thanks so much for the reviews! I don't really have much to say about this chapter, except well… yeah, I don't want to spoil it.

Warnings: Um... don't hate me?

Alternating POV's in this chapter! After Clare sees Eli and talks to him and such, the rest of this chapter will be in her POV.

OH! And thanks to **we-will-not-fall-down** for reviewing ALMOST every chapter, you really made my day! Like you have no idea how happy I was to see that you reviewed almost every chapter! :) This chapter is for you, even though you haven't reached this far in reading it haha.

Enjoy chapter 30!

* * *

Alibis

Summary: Waiting for change to lead him down a more innocent path, death obsessed Elijah Goldsworthy finds it in a blue eyed beauty, but perhaps with an even darker past than his own.

* * *

CHAPTER 30

_Dear Clare,_

_I normally don't write letters, but for you I'm going to make an exception._

_It's been only a full day, and I already made a friend, her name is Aiden, she's really cool. When you come to visit me, you should meet her. _

_At first I didn't want to talk to anybody, but I ended up opening up to her. I told her about what happened between me and Jenna, and she didn't laugh or anything. I felt a little bit accomplished, because I usually don't open up to people. Since I met you Clare, I've changed into a different person, and I love that fact. You are too good to me Clare._

_Anyway, I told Aiden about you, after I was sulking around, telling her how much I missed you and how much I love you._

_She said she wanted to meet you. I think you'll like her. _

_Well, I really just wanted to tell you that I'm doing well for the first day, and that I miss you so much Clare, I hope to see you soon._

_I love you so much,_

_Eli_

_P.S: Would you do me a favor and tell Adam that I'm at this hospital for me? I would do it myself, but I don't think he'd ever want to talk to me again after I told him to fuck off in the nicest way, and I would like to see him…_

I folded the letter that Eli had mailed me yesterday.

There was a large smile on my face, and my heart was fluttering quickly behind my rib cage. I got up from the kitchen table to get something to drink. Mom and Darcy went out earlier, to buy some groceries, so I'm stuck in the house. I walked around the kitchen and sighed. Since Eli left, I've been really bored and clueless as to what to do. This Friday I'm going to register to Degrassi, and then the Monday after next Monday, I start school. I was really excited to be honest. Just the thought of starting fresh really made my entire body tingle.

I walked to the living room and sat down on the couch, my laptop was charging on top of the night stand next to the couch. When the light turned green, I unplugged it and flipped it open, and signed into my FaceRange account. In the letter, I remembered Eli asking me to talk to Adam; I figured I should do that first, before I talked to Alli or any other people.

_Subject: Hey  
Message between: Clare and Adam_

_Hey Adam,_

_Eli sent me a letter from St. Carson's Mental Health Facility, and after telling me about how he was doing, he asked me to tell you that he would like to see you, and that if you wouldn't mind coming up to visit him. _

I sent the message and waited patiently for him to respond. After a few minutes I had gotten an alert, telling me that I received a message. I smiled and clicked on it, getting ready to read it.

_Subject: Hey  
Message between: Adam and Clare_

_He's already in that place? That's upsetting, but I mean, I guess I can come see him. When you go to visit him, I guess I'll tag along with you. Will you let me know ahead of time? So that way I can get ready and such?_

_I would really appreciate it :)_

I smiled warmly and quickly responded to his message; my head jerked to the door when I heard it open, in walked my sister and mom, both carrying two large brown bags full of groceries.

"Oh Clare, would you mind getting the remaining bags in the car?" Mom asked.

I nodded and set my laptop aside and bounced out of the house so I can get to the car and gather the rest of the groceries; there was one bag left. I closed the car door and walked back inside the house. I quickly made my way to the kitchen to help mom and Darcy put the groceries away. We were all quiet and I felt the need to start up a new conversation, since they were too busy occupying themselves with putting the groceries away.

"Eli sent me a letter, mom." I announced.

"Oh? What did he say?" Mom asked, a hint of curiosity in her tone.

I smiled a little. After Eli left yesterday, I told her what happened and, even if she was a little confused about it, mom understood why he was sent away, so she comforted me for the time being, because I was crying so hard after I watched CeCe and Bullfrog drive away with him in the back seat, looking more distraught than ever.

"He well, told me that he missed me, and that he loved me a lot, oh and that he made a new friend named Aiden and that he wanted me to meet her when I visit him." I smiled.

"Her? Are you sure he's not going to you know…"

I frowned a little as I started to put the cookies away. I turned to Darcy and she shrugged a little.

"I know Eli won't cheat on me with her, he loves me too much, and he promised me he wouldn't." I smiled, reassuring my sister. She smiled back and soon enough we had finished putting the groceries away. Mom had started dinner and I was helping her as well as Darcy. Ever since dad got kicked out of the house, things at home got better, and I was glad. There was no tension, nothing to stop me from being happy.

"Since we're going to register this Friday mom, is it okay if I can see Eli before then? Can I see him today?" I asked as I washed the lettuce.

"Yes of course, you won't be able to see him until after dinner though." Mom said.

I nodded and pressed my lips to a thin line. Do they even allow visitors around this time? I sighed, making a mental note to ask Eli to tell me when I can and can't come to visit him. By the time it's after dinner it would be night time, so I think I'm going to have to go before dinner.

"Mom, I think it would be better if I went before dinner…" I said.

She looked up from the vegetables she was cutting and sighed.

"Okay, you can go now, Darcy would you take her?" Mom asked.

She nodded quickly and smiled at me. I squealed and ran around the island to give my mom a huge hug, and I kissed her on the cheek. I ran up the stairs to get changed.

…

…

…

…

"Do you think Clare is going to like me?"

"Aiden if you ask that again, I swear I'll throw you out the window… Clare's going to love you, I promise." I said, a little bit annoyed. Aiden chuckled and she nodded while I paced the room. Before I went to bed last night, the facility kind of forced me into wearing the same thing as everybody else, which I detest mind you.

I'm not a "white" person, so wearing an oversized white t-shirt and white pants kind of made me feel like I was insane, pun intended…

Aiden laughed, which caught my attention.

"What?" I asked.

"Calm down death star, you're going to give yourself a heart attack if you continue thinking so hard. I'm sure Clare will be here any second. I bet she got overly excited when she received your chicken scratch letter and is on her way right now to see you, and… me." Aiden laughed. I smiled a little and walked to sit on my bed, lying down on it, and staring at the ceiling.

Aiden got up and walked across the room and leaned up against the wall. I glanced at her and sighed heavily.

"Oh, um… she doesn't have a problem with me being your roommate does she?"

"I don't know, we'll have to ask when she gets here." I joked.

Aiden laughed and she moved her long hair over her shoulder and sighed. We were both silent for about ten minutes, until a nurse came into the room, knocking on the door lightly.

"Eli?"

"Hm?" I asked, not lifting my head from the pillow.

"You have a visitor, Clare Edwards?"

My head jerked up and I quickly scrambled off the bed. Before I walked out of the room, I grabbed Aiden's wrist and yanked her out with me. She squeaked and trailed behind me.

…

…

…

…

"I'll wait outside in the car okay?" Darcy said.

I nodded and walked to the table and sat down. Darcy hugged me and she walked through the door and headed back to the car. I folded my hands on the table and waited patiently for Eli. When the door opened my head perked up and I smiled warmly. Eli looked so… happy. He had a girl trailing behind him and I assumed it was Aiden. I got up and met him half way. His arms circled around my waist and he kissed me, a little frantically. I kissed him back though.

Eli pressed his forehead against mine. "I missed you so much." He whispered.

"I missed you too, Eli." I kissed him again, chastely, and wrapped my arms around his waist, pressing my head against his chest. When we pulled away, Eli turned around and faced the girl behind him. He cleared his throat and said, "Aiden, this is my lovely girlfriend Clare, Clare this is Aiden."

I smiled at her.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Clare. I've heard SO much about you." Aiden said, holding her hand out. I took her hand and shook it, a blush crawling up on my cheeks. We all sat down at the table and had a small conversation on what's been going on, and how much Eli dreaded this place, even if he was here for not even two days. I couldn't help but laugh at how he described this place, Aiden would cut in and say something about being their longer and that it's not that bad.

"Well, I want out, I don't even belong here… I'm better than I used to be." Eli whispered.

I placed a hand over his and he laced our fingers together.

"You have changed, and I'm proud of you." I said.

Eli smiled at me and leaned in to kiss me. I sighed in the kiss and pulled away to ruffled his hair.

"Oh, I told Adam what you told me to tell him. He told me to tell him when I was going to come see you next, so we can both go together, but he couldn't come today because he was hanging out with Fiona." I explained. Eli nodded, a look of slight disappointment on his face.

Aiden frowned as well. I reached up to touch his face and Eli leaned against my hand. He closed his eyes and sighed a little. "I wish I hadn't cussed him out like I did." He muttered.

"Eli, you shouldn't feel so bad, Adam hasn't been a good friend to you, and he deserves what you say to him." I said.

He shrugged and sighed obnoxiously.

"I just you know… I don't know…" Eli laid his head on the table and I reached up to rub his back soothingly. I glanced up at Aiden and she smiled warmly at me. She kind of reminded me of Alli, her dark hair and eyes, that's about it. Aiden had a really big scar on her neck and I blushed and turned away quickly when she caught me looking at it.

"Um, Eli, when can I see you and when can I not, like is there times?" I asked.

Eli lifted his head. "Yeah, from noon to six, I think… which means you'd have to leave in a little bit." He frowned and I did too. I didn't want to leave him. I would miss him so much even if I just saw him. I leaned over to hug him tight, Eli returned the hug, his head buried in my shoulder and I chuckled when he whined, telling me not to leave. But, I had to go home. I needed to be with my mom and my sister, because we planned to have a family night today. Eli pulled away and he glanced back at Aiden and he gave her a look. Aiden rolled her eyes, smiled and got up to leave.

"It was nice meeting you Aiden." I shouted.

"Likewise." She turned around and winked at me.

Before I could do anything, Eli leaned forward and crushed his lips over mine. I whimpered from the action and he took that chance to slide his tongue into my mouth. His tongue swept over mine before he moved back a little to suck on my bottom lip. I moaned, and moved closer to him, forgetting that I was in a room full of people. Eli's hands reached up to cup my face and he kissed me faster, and harder, almost desperate. We hadn't kissed this way in a few days so I kissed him back with such fervor. Eli moaned when I slipped my tongue into his mouth and the hold in my hair tightened. I whimpered and we pulled away to breathe.

"I'm going to miss you." He whispered sadly.

"Me too, but I have to go now. I'll be back tomorrow, I promise." I got up and he did as well. Eli wrapped his arms around me and I hugged him back. He kissed the top of my head and let me go so I could leave. As I was walking out the door, I turned back to get one last glance at him. Eli lifted his hand and waved a little, and I smiled and blew him a kiss.

I walked through the doors and headed into the parking lot where I found Darcy sitting in the car. She smiled at me when I climbed into the car and fastened my seat belt after shutting the door.

"Did he get excited when he saw you?" She asked.

"Yeah, I didn't want to leave him though… he looked so out of place, alone, sad." I muttered.

Darcy reached over and she placed a hand over my knee. I smiled over at her and sighed shakily.

"I talked to mom while you were in there, she had to go in for work."

"Work? So does that mean… we won't have a family night?" I asked, a little disappointedly as she pulled out of the parking lot.

"We can still have that family night. Mom said that dinner will be in the oven, and we can watch a movie or something." Darcy smiled. I nodded and looked out the window. The ride home was quiet to be honest, but I didn't mind. I probably wouldn't form a coherent sentence since I was thinking about Eli. I sighed and leaned my head against the window, breathing on it and watching it fog up.

It didn't take us long to get home since Darcy was driving over the speed limit. As the engine was cut off, I climbed out of the car, and looked across the road, finding CeCe walking my used to be dog around the lawn. Beauty had grown, a lot, she looked almost fully grown. When CeCe looked up she smiled and waved at me. I waved in return and quickly walked back into the house. Darcy had already started to serve us some dinner and I decided to get a movie. Darcy and I normally don't watch the same kind of movies together, so I grabbed a comedy from the movie stand next to the TV.

As I was popping the DVD in, Darcy was placing the plates on the coffee table. I turned around and crawled to the couch. Darcy laughed and she took a bite of her salad, I did the same before diving into the baked potato full of sour cream, cheese and bacon bits; I love how Darcy knows exactly what I want. The movie started to play and we ate in silence.

"I miss this." Darcy said.

"Me too, I'm glad everything is normal though… with dad being out of the house."

Darcy was silent after I said this. I glanced over at her and she looked upset. I put my fork down and reached over to touch her shoulder. "I'm sorry… I know you miss him—

"No I don't miss him… after realizing what he's been doing to you for years now… it hurts you know? Having to do something about it now, when we could've done something about it sooner; I just wish I did something the first night you told me." Darcy said, her eyes welling up with tears. I frowned and leaned over to give her a large hug. Darcy had actually hugged me back and she started to cry really hard against my shoulder. I was a little confused, I hardly ever heard or seen her cry in such a long time. It killed me to see her like this.

"I'm really sorry Clare, I really, truly am sorry." Darcy pulled away and she looked in my eyes. I hugged her and whispered, "It's okay, it's in the past, don't worry about it."

"No it's not okay, I didn't know how to react, after witnessing dad hitting mom so many times when we were younger, I didn't know what to do when you told me he was raping you, and beating on you." Darcy choked on a sob and she buried her head in my chest while she wrapped her arms around my waist, crying heavily. I rubbed her back and felt tears stinging in my eyes as well. But, I wasn't going to cry… She sniffled and pulled away.

"I'm really sorry; I guess I didn't want to believe it when I started realizing our family was falling apart." Darcy explained as she wiped her tears away. I nodded, agreeing with her. But, since we're free from tension and hate from people. I hugged my sister and she hugged me back. I could practically feel her smiling. She pulled away and chuckled nervously as a few more tears streaked down her face. The doorbell rang, breaking our small moment.

"I'll get it." She said.

I nodded and turned to the TV and continued eating. Darcy opened the door and I heard her gasp.

"What are you doing here!" She shrieked.

I turned my attention to the door and I could see someone tall standing in front of her. My heart literally stopped and I forgot how to breathe. I couldn't even move. There my father stood, staring intently at my sister. Before I could do anything, he had shoved Darcy out of the way, hard, she crashed against the wall, and slid down, I saw blood smeared on the wall, and I knew for a fact that the side of her head had been busted open. He walked into the house and shut the door slowly behind him, and locked it as well. I scooted back on the couch, and breathed heavily. I was so scared and so afraid of what to do that I had fallen on the other side of the couch.

"Where do you think you're going?" He smirked. Dad strutted quickly to me, and he was soon standing before me. I got up to try and run, but he grabbed me by the back of the head and slammed me hard against the wall. I whimpered and squeezed my eyes shut, feeling light headed.

"You think you can get away from me that easily? Huh?" He growled in my ear. I didn't do anything, only started to kick my feet and thrash around.

"Darcy! Darcy wake up please! DARCY!" I screamed.

"Shut up!"

His hand gripped my face and he slammed my head into the wall. I cried out, feeling the back of my head break open. I could swear I saw stars as blood poured from the small wound. I breathed heavily as my vision danced around before me. I could vaguely see my father standing before me, but I could tell what was going on. I saw Darcy move and the slightest bit of hope flashed in my eyes.

"Darcy… Darcy please! Do something!" I screamed.

"SHUT UP!" Dad screamed; he slammed my head into the wall again and left me there as I slid down, completely unaware that he walked away from me. I heard Darcy scream and I could feel the tears stinging my eyes and slide down my cheeks. Darcy screamed again and she struggled, when I could see better, I noticed that he was standing over her, his arms wrapped around her neck. I managed to slowly try and move away, but when I tried to get up, my body fell and I practically drug my body to the kitchen. The tears were streaming down my face when I didn't hear any noise from my sister.

I reached for the springy cord of the house phone and tried to pull on it, trying to desperately get it down.

I whimpered and started sobbing.

The phone fell from the base and I smiled a little. Before I could dial 911 or someone in general the phone was kicked out of my hand and I cried out, feeling the worse pain in my stomach as my father's foot came in contact with my body. I could swear I tasted blood. My father turned me around, pushing my body onto my back with his leg. I heard him snort and he reached down and picked me up by my throat. I gagged, trying to gasp for air, but failed as his hold tightened on me.

"I'm going to make sure you never scream again Clare-bear, just because your mother sent me away, it didn't mean I wasn't going to come back, you're such a dumbass for even thinking I was gone for good. You and that dumb sister of yours, and that bitch mother of yours." He growled. My eyes began to water and I coughed, my feet kicking around as I tried to break free. He pushed my body against the wall and tightened his hold around my neck; I could swear I heard my limbs break or tear.

My vision was slowly blurring, and turning black, and I could hear him whisper one last thing in my ear.

_"You will never see that boyfriend of yours ever again…"_

My body was dropped to the floor, and darkness consumed me.

End of Chapter 30

* * *

Did she die? I don't know. Will Eli find out? I don't know. Is Randal going to live? Hell no he's not. What's going to happen? You'll find out once you leave me some reviews and when I update. Alibis is soon to be over, after this next update, there will be only five chapters left. And then i will post the sequel. Anyway, what did you guys think of this chapter? I know it's my shortest one yet, but now that everything "serious" has happened, the chapters won't be as long, but they will be lengthy, just saying. So yeah, you should leave me some amazing reviews? Oh and those of you who are waiting for the post for Miss. Edwards, I should have a new post by Sunday, but I'm not making any promises.

Incestuous will probably be posted tomorrow, maybe tonight, I don't know yet. And be prepared for the most amazing A/N for that update, you guys will be impressed by my colorful vocabulary, and it's not going to be pretty, just saying, the colorfulness of that A/N will be so black and white, you'll be scared by it, just saying.. don't be so alarmed, it could be worse...

So leave me some reviews if you want a quick update for this story, which will probably be next week, depends on what I'm doing.

Until then..


	31. fallen from grace

Disclaimer: Degrassi is something I don't own, sadly… I do own Eli's five year old cousin though, Maureen.

A/N: *inhales deeply* Okay um… so I don't know what to say… I barely reached a little over 900 reviews for the 29th update, and then… when I post chapter 30, I get a little over 1,000 reviews… I literally almost died of happiness, because I seriously didn't think this story was worthy enough to reach over 1,000 reviews. I seriously want to thank you guys, you have NO idea how happy, how excited, and how overwhelmed this feeling is for me. Without you, I would be NOTHING, thank you, thank you SO much! This chapter is for everybody that reviews! Every single person that stops to review, like seriously, and those of you who don't, I appreciate the fact that you're still reading, even if some of you have grown bored, or just gave up on this story. Thank you all! Really! *virtual huggles*

Oh, and thanks to **CrystalNight1**, this person always leaves me the longest reviews that make me smile goofier than Eli did when he and Clare first became real friends :) **Eclarerocks**, your reviews always make my day as well, in all seriousness!

Okay, on to the chapter! Oh and there will be alternating POV's

Warnings: Um, you have to trust me okay? I know this warning isn't much, but… I mean, seriously… trust me with what I did with this chapter, especially towards the end.

* * *

Alibis

Summary: Waiting for change to lead him down a more innocent path, death obsessed Elijah Goldsworthy finds it in a blue eyed beauty, but perhaps with an even darker past than his own.

* * *

CHAPTER 31

"We have two hours before group therapy; do you want to do something? Go on the roof?" Aiden asked.

I slowly turned my attention to her and shrugged. Aiden frowned and she walked up to me and placed a hand on my shoulder as I continued to look out the window, watching the rain fall against the window, making the world outside look like a water color mess. I sighed and pressed my forehead against the glass, not caring how cold it was against my flesh.

"It's raining…" I muttered.

"So?" Aiden responded.

"We can't go on the roof… if it's raining." I said softly.

I heard Aiden sigh and she moved away from me, she turned the light off in the room, shut the door and walked to the bed. "What's wrong, Eli?" I turned my attention from the window for a few seconds, and stared at my roommate, who lay on the bed looking up at the ceiling. I moved away from the window and walked to the bed. The moment my body crashed on it, I let out an exaggerated sigh, and turned on my back.

"Clare was supposed to come see me today… she didn't come in… she promised me she would… but she didn't." I frowned.

"Maybe she had to do something." Aiden said. I shrugged again and sighed softly. I wish it was that, but somehow deep down, I think she skipped out because she wanted to. Clare would always tell me if she couldn't do something, and if she did get permission, if something changed, she would call me ahead of time and tell me, not let me wait like she is doing now. I reached up and clenched my hair in my hands. Aiden walked to my bed and she sat down at the foot of it. I lifted my head and she smiled weakly at me.

"What if something happened to her…?" I muttered.

"Eli, don't over react, it's not healthy."

I snorted – my head fell back on the pillow and I groaned. What if something did happen to her? God, the very thought made me sick. I couldn't bear to think something happened to my Clare. Aiden slapped my knee and I glared at her. She gave me a pointed look and I sighed heavily, annoyingly. I couldn't help it. I couldn't stop myself from thinking something happened to the girl who changed my life. Aiden got up from the bed and she grabbed my hand, yanking me up.

"Come on, you can't continue brooding in this room, it's already so dull and boring, I don't need a dull and boring roommate." Aiden dragged me out of the room and I nearly flinched when a crash of lightning lightened up the entire hospital. A roll of thunder followed after, loud and caused the windows to vibrate. I was continued getting dragged down the hall by Aiden. She maneuvered around people, telling them "excuse me" and apologizing if she crashed into someone. I didn't have the slightest idea where we were going, but I didn't say anything; I just let her lead me to the designated place.

After walking, well getting forced down the hall, Aiden came to a complete stop, in front of a door, and away from everyone. I glanced at it and she smiled slightly when she turned to me.

"We have a few hours before group therapy; we can hang out in the basement if you want." Aiden said.

I grimaced, remembering that one kid, Jack saying something about finding a rat in the basement and skinning it alive and then he ate it. I gagged and shuddered.

"Don't worry death star, Jack is watching TV, I made sure of it." Aiden chuckled. She pushed the door open and began walking down the stairs. I followed her after I glanced around, the hallway was empty, eerie, and it sent chills down my spine. Aiden was already half way down the steps before I actually caught up to her. She giggled and stopped in the middle of the stairwell, giving me a glance. The stairwell was pretty narrow, and the old lights hanging up on the ceiling gave off a creepy green glow, and I suddenly felt… odd standing here.

"Scared Eli?" Aiden asked.

"Me?" I snorted.

Aiden smirked when my eyes widened as the lights started to flicker, since it was still thundering and raining outside. Aiden giggled and she turned around and continued down the steps, I followed closely behind her. When we reached the basement, there was a bright enough light, and I felt a little relieved that it didn't give off an eerie green glow. Aiden sat directly in the middle of the tiled basement and I frowned. This place is too clean to have rats…

"So, what do we do now?" I asked as I sat down in front of her. Aiden shrugged her shoulders and looked around. "I normally come down here to think." I nodded and drummed my fingers on my knees and chewed on my bottom lip.

"You can leave if you want, if you're bored or whatever." Aiden said.

I shook my head. "It's just, you know quiet, aside from the rumbling outside, but I like it." I said. Aiden smiled and nodded. She reached up and started to nervously play with her hair and shivered. I glanced up at her and she rubbed her arms with her hands. "Cold?" I asked. She nodded. I held my arm up, offering her to cuddle with me, since she is gay, it wouldn't matter, right? Aiden crawled over to me and she sat down next to me, her head fell to my shoulder and I wrapped my arm around her.

"This is nice." She whispered. "You're so warm…"

I smiled a little, remembering how Clare would always say that when she and I would be together, alone. The thought made me sigh a little and I swallowed hard. Aiden glanced up at me, and I stared down at her. Her big brown eyes gleamed with curiosity. I swallowed and subconsciously licked my lips and swallowed hard, trying to hydrate my suddenly dry throat. Aiden blinked a few times and she leaned up and crushed her lips over mine. My eyes grew wide and I tore away from her.

"Sorry! Sorry, I didn't know what came over me! Sorry." She shrieked.

"What the fuck, I thought you were a lesbian!" I shouted.

"I said I was sorry." She muttered.

I shook my head and turned around, walking towards the door. I pushed it open and bolted up the stairs. God, did she really just… oh god, what if she tells Clare. She can't tell Clare, what if she twists the story and says that I kissed her! Oh fuck, I'm in deep shit. When I reached the top of the stairs, I ran through the door, pushing it open and quickly made my way to where there were people around. I rounded the corner and crashed into someone.

"Oh, Eli, sweetheart we've been looking for you." The nurse, Pam, said. I blinked a few times and cocked my head to the side, looking at the concerned look in her eyes.

"What's going on?" I asked, "Did I miss group therapy?" She frowned and shook her head. I blinked a few times.

Well, what the hell is the problem…?

"There's been an accident."

"An accident?" I repeated.

Pam nodded. She sighed and shifted nervously before me. I pinned my eyebrows together and gave her a pointed look, trying to get her to cut to the chase.

"Eli, we got a call from the hospital, it's about Clare Edwards, and she's been injured."

My eyes grew wide.

"Is she okay?" I shouted.

"I don't know, your parents are coming to pick you up right now, you go on and get dressed. I'll notify Dr. Rhodes and tell him where you are." Pam said. I nodded and bolted by her, running as quickly as my feet could take me to my room. I furiously removed my hospital clothes, standing in my boxers as I reached under my bed and pulled my suitcase full of clothes out from underneath it. I grabbed a pair of jeans and t-shirt and slipped it on, them my socks and shoes, and ran out of my room, and out the front doors; as if on cue, my parents pulled up in front of the steps and I ran down them, and jumped into the car once I opened the door.

…

…

…

…

_"Are they going to be okay? Are my babies going to be okay!"_

_"They're going to be just fine, they both have a minor concussion, they're both lucky to be alive, judging from the bruising around both their necks, it's positively clear that they were choked, but not enough to kill them." _

_"Oh thank goodness, thank you so much."_

I slowly opened my eyes, and closed them, and then opened them again, trying to get my blurred vision to clear up. Once I could see clearly, I looked around. I was in a white room, with a high ceiling. There was a steady beeping sound filling my ears and I sat up, only to groan and lay back down on the bed I was in. An IV needle was stuck in my hand and I was in one of those horrid hospital gowns. I reached up to place a hand over my forehead, and felt some gauze touching my fingertips; I felt around my head, and also realized that it was wrapped. I breathed shakily and looked desperately around the room.

"Mom?" I called.

No answer.

"Mom!" I called again, only much louder.

Again, no answer.

"MOM! Darcy! MOM!" I shrieked. A few nurses came rushing into my room and I looked passed them, mom came running in and she made her way to my side. I wrapped my arms around her and cried heavily in her shoulder, asking her what's going on and how did I end up in the hospital, because I don't remember whatsoever. Mom only rubbed my back, and shooed the nurses out of the room once she got me under control. I clenched on her, my hands gripping her shirt tightly as if my life depended on it.

"M-mom, why am I here? Where's Darcy? What's going on?" I whimpered.

"You don't remember," Mom sighed, "when I came home from work, I found you and Darcy on the floor, at first I thought you were both dead, because Darcy was barely breathing, and you weren't moving and barely breathing as well. I thought I lost you two both… I called 911 and here you are. You've been in the hospital for hours now." Mom explained. I looked away and down to the floor, licking my lips lightly. I perked up and asked quickly, "Where is Darcy!"

Mom frowned and she sighed.

"Is she… is she okay?" I asked worriedly.

"She's fine, but she hasn't woken up yet…" She answered.

I nodded and frowned.

"What about Eli! Is he coming, did you call him? Is he okay?" I asked a little too quickly.

"The hospital notified St. Carson about an hour ago, he should be here soon, don't worry. Now, you lay back and I'll get you something to drink. You must be thirsty, hungry?" Mom asked. Come to think of it, my throat is a little dry, and my stomach growled obnoxiously loud. I blushed and looked away. Mom got up from the bed and she kissed the top of my head. I winced, because the slightest touch made it hurt. I watched my mother leave the room. I lay back and tried to desperately remember what happened yesterday. I remember seeing Eli at the hospital, meeting Aiden, and then coming home with Darcy. She served us dinner, and we watched TV. Everything else after that was a complete fog. I couldn't remember anything…

…

…

…

…

"Eli, wait up!"

I ignored my parents and bolted through the automatic sliding doors of the hospital. I nearly crashed when I got the counter, my breathing uneven.

"Can I help you—

"Clare Edwards, what room is she in?" I asked quickly.

"Um," The nurse looked back on her computer and she started to type furiously on it, "Ah, she's in room one-twenty, just go through these doors and—

I barged through the doors and ran down the hall, desperately looking for Clare's room number. When I finally found it, I walked right in after regaining my composure and steadying my breathing to an even state. Clare was laying on the bed, her eyes closed and the sight of her made my chest ache. She had horrible bruising around her neck and her head was wrapped. I chewed on my bottom lip and tried not to break down right there. I walked around the bed and took her hand in mine. The movement caused her eyes to open and Clare smiled warmly.

"Eli, you're here." She whimpered.

"Shh, don't talk Clare." I leaned forward, pushing the chair I sat in closer to the bed. Clare smiled weakly and she chuckled saying, "Sorry you had to see me this way, I look—

"Clare," I gave her a pointed look, "what happened to you?" I asked. She shrugged her shoulders; "I don't know… I only remember what happened before I blacked out." I frowned and nodded. She smiled weakly again and I leaned forward and placed a kiss on her lips. Clare smiled and she pulled away, sighing shakily. I interlaced her fingers and blinked a few times, trying to fight the tears that threatened to fall.

"Eli, why are you crying?" Clare asked.

I glanced up at her and shook my head. The will power I thought I had faded and a single tear streamed down my cheek and I quickly wiped it away with my sleeve. Clare sat up and she hissed in doing so. I glanced up at her and sighed as more tears streamed down my cheeks, and I choked on a sob. Clare leaned over as far as she could and she wrapped her arms around my head. I sobbed in her chest and wrapped my arms around her torso. Clare rubbed my back and placed a few kisses on the top of my head.

"Eli, it's okay, don't cry please." Clare whispered.

"No it's not… Clare what if I lost you? What if… what if you died…?" I pulled away and looked into her eyes. Clare frowned and she brushed my tears away from my cheeks and kissed my lips. I returned the kiss and sighed shakily. I rested my forehead against hers and closed my eyes. Clare leaned back and she sat against the pillow. I rested my chin on the bed and she reached up to run her fingers through my hair. It felt really amazing, her doing this, and it calmed my nerves. I let my eyes drift shut and she giggled, but continued to run her fingers through my hair.

"Mom was supposed to be here a few minutes ago." She muttered. I slowly opened my eyes and glanced up at her.

"Where did she go?" I asked.

"To get me something to drink and eat."

I nodded and leaned back. Clare glanced at me and her face fell for some reason. She said, "I hope you're not mad at me."

"Why would I be mad at you?" I asked while moving up to the bed, sitting on it. Clare took my hand in hers and she laced our fingers together. She swallowed hard and whispered, "I made a promise to come see you and… I didn't." I blinked a few times and shook my head at her. There is no reason for me to be mad at her. Something dreadful happened to my Clare last night, and she's apologizing for that? I smirked a little and leaned forward, crushing my lips over hers, but I did it carefully, making sure I didn't hurt her in any way. Clare whimpered and she kissed me back though. I wanted to deepen it, but the sound of someone clearing their throat caused me and Clare to break apart, Clare's mom stood with a tray of food in her hands.

"I see you're feeling a little better?" Helen laughed and I glanced over at Clare, she had a cute blush on her cheeks and I rubbed her arm. Helen placed the tray in Clare's lap and she grimaced at the food before her. I wanted to get up and leave so she could eat, but she gave me a pleading look when I told her I was going to go. I sat back down and leaned my head against my hand and watched her eat the disgusting hospital food. A few times, I would try not to laugh from the face she made as she ate, but I didn't let up.

"So, Eli, how is St. Carson's?" Helen asked.

"Mom!" Clare hissed.

"It's fine Clare," I laughed, "it's okay… I didn't like it at first, which I shouldn't be there in the first place, but, I mean I'm getting along with some people, but I still don't think I should be there…" I drifted off and suddenly remembered what happened between me and Aiden. The very thought of it made me cringe.

"How's Aiden?" Clare asked.

I looked away and reached up to rake my fingers through my hair, nervously. Clare frowned and she placed her plastic fork down on the tray and looked at me worriedly. I glanced up at her and she cocked her head to the side. Should I tell her? As long as I'm honest, it's okay right?

"I'll leave you two alone." Helen said. She grabbed Clare's tray and walked out of the room.

"Aiden kind of… _kissed_ me." I whispered.

Clare blinked a few times and she started laughing, as if I was joking, and I narrowed my eyes at her. Clare's laughter soon died down and she swallowed nervously. "You're serious?" She asked. I nodded and I instantly regret mentioning it, because the look in Clare's big blue eyes shown with hurt, despair, and a slight hint of _hate_, I could tell.

"She kissed you? Or, you kissed her?" Clare asked.

"She kiss me, we were sitting in the basement alone and she got cold so I held her and—

"You were alone with her?" Clare interrupted me. Her tone was off and I flinched slightly. I reached up to touch her hand but Clare instantly yanked it away.

"Clare please, I mean I didn't know what I did to lead her on, she told me she was gay!" I said, in a pleading tone. Clare laughed sarcastically and she crossed her arms across her chest. I frowned and licked my lips, looking away. Clare sniffled and I pushed myself to glance at her, and notice that she was crying, not sobbing, but tears were streaming down her cheeks fast and dripping at her chin. Clare didn't look at me, it's like she refused to.

"Clare, you have to believe me, I didn't kiss her… she kissed me, I didn't do it, I swear. Please, believe me." I whispered, turning her head to me. She chewed on her bottom lip and licked her tears away when they gathered at the corner of her lips. I cupped her face and kissed her forehead, eyelids, her nose, and finally her lips. Clare pulled her head away and looked to the side. I felt my heart sink to my stomach and I tried my hardest not to plead at her to look at me. Clare whispered, "You should go…" I shook my head.

"I'm not going anywhere." I whispered.

"Eli, I can't even look at you right now… please, just go." Clare hissed.

I frowned and chewed on my bottom lip, hard, enough that I broke the skin and tasted blood in my mouth. I got up and leaned down to kiss her cheek, but she moved away. While sighing shakily, I moved away from the bed and walked to the door, I stood in the doorway before I left and said, "I love you."

Clare looked down, and didn't say anything back. The second I walked out of the room, I heard her break down and start crying, and with uneasy, slow steps, I walked down the hall, and into the lobby, finding my parents sitting in the chairs. When they spotted me, mom got up and walked to me. I gave her a look, my eyes sad and full of unshed tears. She didn't need to say anything at all; mom wrapped her arms around my shoulders and pulled me to her, and I dropped my head to her shoulder.

"Eli, what's wrong?" She asked.

I didn't trust myself to speak, not now at least; I only whimpered and choke on a sob.

"I-I think Clare broke up with me…"

End of Chapter 31

* * *

Okay so in the next chapter, since I left you off with a sweet amazing cliffhanger, I would just like to say, be prepared, because Mr. Goldsworthy finds out who injured his Clare, and well, things won't be as sweet and innocent as it seems with him. You get to actually see the REAL side of Eli. So, if you want the next chapter, I suggest some um, reviews are in order ;) Leave me some? Yes? Okay :)

Goodbye for now!


	32. freedom

Disclaimer: Degrassi is something I don't own, sadly… I do own Eli's five year old cousin though, Maureen.

A/N: You guys can't be jumping to conclusions about Eli and Clare breaking up! I mean, don't you know how Eli is now? He jumps to conclusions about him and Clare all the time, remember how he overdosed because he thought Clare didn't love him anymore? I mean seriously, you guys are priceless :/ You should know how Eli gets when it comes to Clare… But, I'm not going to complain and whine, thanks for the reviews! Here is chapter 32.

Warnings: There will be alternating POV's. There will be sadism, death, murder, blood-shed. You have been warned. **YOU HAVE. BEEN. WARNED!**

Okay, enjoy Chapter 32, after this chapter; there will be only a few chapters left, and then the sequel, that I have mentioned since like chapter nine.

* * *

Alibis

Summary: Waiting for change to lead him down a more innocent path, death obsessed Elijah Goldsworthy finds it in a blue eyed beauty, but perhaps with an even darker past than his own.

* * *

CHAPTER 32

"Clare? Oh, where's Eli, I thought he would be with you for the rest of the day."

"I-I told him to leave." I whispered.

"Why?" Mom asked a little too quickly.

"Mom, he told me his roommate Aiden kissed him, and I blew up on him. Was I doing it wrong?" I looked up from my folded hands and glanced over at my mom. She sighed and walked to sit down in the chair that Eli previously sat in earlier today and she took my hand.

"Clare, it's okay to be jealous, but – Eli told you that his roommate kissed him, he didn't kiss her, and knowing Eli, knowing how much he loves you, he would never kiss back. He loves you Clare, and sending him away is okay, but you have to be considerate towards his feelings, remember what happened last time?" Mom reminded me.

I sat there on the bed, and tried not to slap myself, because I know how Eli gets now. He jumps to conclusions about us all the time. I don't really blame him, after what Jenna did to him; I would be surprised if he was sane after that. I reached up and placed my hand over my forehead. I glanced over at my mother and asked her if she could get the hospital to call Eli back. Mom smiled warmly and she nodded. The smile kind of made me think, it's as if she knew something that I didn't. I waited patiently for her to come back though. I really needed to know the news of Darcy, after Eli left about an hour ago, mom stayed with Darcy until then, and she has yet to tell me the status of her.

All I know is that she's under a coma. I remember her lying there on the floor of the house and someone charging at me…

The thought of it made me wonder…

Everything was slowly coming back to my head now! I know who did this…

"Daddy." I whispered.

"Clare?"

I looked up from the source of the noise, and I was greeted with blood-shot, green eyes, it was none other than my boyfriend, Eli. He stood there, in front of my bed, his hands buried deep in his pockets and his eyes had unshed tears. I wanted to get up from the bed and walk to him and hold him so tightly as if my life depended on it. Eli walked to the bed and he hesitantly took a seat next to my bed. I held my hand out to him and he took it, his fingers wrapped loosely around mine, and that's when I realized that something was wrong. He didn't look at me, as if he were ashamed.

I reached down with the hand that had the IV needle sticking out of it, and lifted his chin up. He had tears still in his eyes but one managed to slip down his cheek and he looked away. I hated seeing Eli cry, he's such a strong person, and watching someone as warm hearted and as strong as he, brought a pain to my chest, one that I couldn't control. Eli lowered his head again, his dark bangs covered his face and I heard him choke on a sob. I sighed shakily and tilted his head up. Eli's eyes were redder than before and I instantly started crying; I wrapped my arms around his head and pulled him close to me. Eli wrapped his arms around my waist and buried his head in my lap. His tears soaked my hospital gown as he continued to cry relentlessly, whispering how sorry he was.

"Eli, don't apologize, I should be the sorry one. I'm sorry."

"B-but I—

"No Eli, don't apologize, I'm sorry for kicking you out, I guess I just got overly jealous about the situation." I cut him off. Eli glanced up at me and he sniffled. I leaned down and kissed his tears away, my lips becoming wet – I finally kissed his lips lastly. He pulled away and smiled warmly at me. I kissed his forehead and Eli wrapped his arms around my waist again, and laid his head on my lap. I stroked his hair, running my fingers slowly through his messy, slightly tangled locks. Eli hissed a few times when I tugged on his hair.

"Clare…" He whispered.

"Hm?" I asked.

"Do you still not know who did this to you?" Eli lifted his head and looked at me with his dark green eyes. I bit my bottom lip and looked away. Eli frowned and he interlaced our fingers together. I glanced back at him and he smiled reassuringly at me, telling me that it is okay to tell him.

"Tell me what happened." He said.

I nodded slowly and took a deep breath. Since the picture was now fresh in my head, I knew I wouldn't fail in telling him. "After I went to see you at the hospital… Darcy and I went home, and we were eating dinner and watching a movie. After about a few minutes, someone knocked on the door, and Darcy went to answer it… Eli he—Daddy was at the door, and he—he hurt her and," My voice began to crack and I couldn't trust myself to speak, I only broke down into a series of sobs. Eli got up from the chair and sat on the bed, his arms wrapped around me securely as I cried into his shoulder, "he shoved Darcy up against the wall, and then choked her when she tried to move… he came after me a-and he… he did the same… he slammed my head into the wall, after I tried dialing 911, he picked me up and… h-he choked me too, and that's when… everything went black, and I woke up here." I sniffled and I soon stopped shaking from the tremendous uncontrollable sobs that escaped my lips earlier. Eli rubbed my back, and tightened his hold on me.

"He's not getting away with this." Eli growled.

"What?" I asked, pulling away to look at him.

"Clare, I'm not letting an asshole like him hurt you anymore… you don't deserve it." Eli said, not looking at me, he looked straight ahead, and the look in his eyes scared me. It's something I haven't seen, the look, was dark – menacingly dark, almost sadistic.

"E-Eli, what are you going to do?" I whispered.

Eli slowly looked down at me. And, I flinched from the look in his eyes. His pupils weren't dilated, only really tiny, as if a light had just flashed in his eyes. I watched him get up and he kissed my forehead, my eyelids, and lastly a kiss on my lips – it was hard, and full of love, but when he pulled away he whispered, "Clare, I'm doing this for you… I'm not going to let him get away with this."

I realized what he meant by that, and my eyes grew wide.

"No Eli – you can't, you can't do that! You just got better Eli, you've changed, no more of that! NO! Eli you can't do that, promise me you won't!" I screamed, the heart monitor started to beep quickly. Eli shook his head at me and the nurses started rushing in as I started to thrash around, screaming for Eli not to do anything so hasty. He stood in the back and before he left, he mouthed "I love you" and he left. I screamed and cried, and started to kick my feet.

"Clare, Clare you have to calm down!"

"NO! Don't let Eli go! Don't let him leave please!"

"Honey he will be back tomorrow, I'm sure of it!" The nurse tried to reassure me. A bunch of other nurses held my arms and legs down not only did I scream for him not to leave, but I screamed when they literally jabbed a needle in my thigh, and pushed down on the plunger.

"Eli… don't let… him go…" I murmured, and everything went black.

…

…

…

…

"Mom, can you take me home."

"Eli you still have to go the hospital."

"Mom please, you and I both know I don't belong there, I've been good, I've changed, please you have to get me out of there." I nearly begged. Mom sighed.

"I know you don't belong there anymore…"

We walked out of the hospital; my dad was already waiting in the car. I glanced over at her and she smiled warmly at me. "I'll have your father take you home, and your father and I can go talk to the hospital." She said. I nodded and practically jumped her, hugging her tightly. She hugged me back and ruffled my hair. I walked to the truck and sat in the back. Dad gave me a smile and he said, "What are you so cheery about, did you get some alone time with Clare." He gave me a suggestive look in the rear view mirror and I blushed and turned away.

"No, I'm just… happy is all." I responded.

Dad made a noise and he pulled out of the hotel parking lot when mom got in the car. The drive home was really chatty, most of it was my parents because mom was telling dad about what was going to go down after they drop me off at home. I tried my hardest not to smile so goofily. Not being in that god forsake place meant, no more crazy kids, no more group therapy, no more unneeded medication, and no more _Aiden_. When mom and dad dropped me off, I waved them off and looked back at my house. I sighed. I really did miss this place.

First things first, I decided to call Adam over, because we haven't talked in almost a week, and I really needed to see him. So, I walked into the house, and headed straight to my room, which of course, the sight made me stumble. Looks like my mom was in my room… it was picked up, very neat, the clothes on the floor were gone, and it looked as if it were vacuumed. I walked to my drawers and my clothes were folded neatly inside them. I sighed and smiled a little.

I went back to find my phone which was sitting next to my laptop. It had two bars left, but it gave me enough battery to call Adam, and invite him over.

**_"I should be there in a few, leave the door open so I can walk in okay?"_**

"Yeah, that's fine. I'll be in the living room." I responded.

**_"Okay good, I'll talk to you later."_**

I closed my phone and left it on the computer desk. I walked to the living room and turned the TV and placed my feet on the coffee table. While flipping through the channels, I waited patiently for Adam to barge into the door, and give me the most massive brotherly hug, and tell me how sorry he is for being such a jerk. As if on cue, Adam barged into the door and walked to the couch.

He pulled me to him and I nearly got smothered.

"Adam, I can't breathe." I mumbled.

"Sorry dude… I just, you know. I'm happy you called me. I would've come to visit you at the hospital, but Fiona and well you know how it is." He smiled nervously. I nodded and smiled a little. The room was quiet, aside from the TV.

"What are you doing here anyway? I thought you were you know… still going to be at the hospital." Adam said.

"I convinced my mom to take me out of there, that I don't belong there anymore. I've changed, and she knows that…"

"That's good Eli, I'm proud of you." Adam placed a hand on my shoulder and smiled warmly at me. I smiled in return and sighed a little.

"I really missed you Adam." I whispered.

Adam glanced over at me and he pulled me into a hug as well. I hugged him back and he told me that he missed me too. Even though Adam has been such a shitty friend, I will never stop being his friend. He and I went through so much, and a stupid argument isn't going to ruin our friendship. We pulled away and sighed shakily. Adam reached up and rubbed the wetness from his eyes. He laughed nervously and said, "Look at me, crying like a little girl." He choked on a sob and I reached up and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"It's okay." I said. Adam smiled and sighed shakily.

"So, did you get your schedule mailed in yet, for school?" He asked.

"Um I don't know, I've been in hell for a few days so I wouldn't know." I responded with a short laugh. Adam chuckled.

"But, I mean I have to get home, mom went on a rampage about me leaving, since Drew is still here, she wants me there with the family. I'll see you later man." Adam got up and ruffled my hair before he left. I frowned and sighed and went to lie on my back on the couch. I stared up at the ceiling and suddenly remembered what I was going to do, but I wasn't going to start anything until nightfall. It seems reasonable. Randal's sick ass might be snooping around Clare's house, waiting for someone to come home. Just to be precautious, I got up from the couch and walked to the kitchen. I looked out the window above the sink, and glanced across the street, and down the road, trying to find some abnormality. To my dismay I didn't see anything, but the car parked at the end of the road really made me curious.

I didn't let it get to me though, so I walked back to the living room and sat down on the couch, and waited for my parents to come home.

…

…

…

…

Two Hours Later

"Mmm…"

"Clare, honey are you okay?"

"What happened?" I murmured as I sat up, glancing around the room, I found my mom sitting in the chair.

"You've been asleep for almost two hours. After your little break down, earlier, the nurses gave you something to relax." Mom explained.

I nodded and sighed shakily. "How is Darcy, is she doing okay?" I asked. Mom nodded.

"She's awake now, but she's sleeping most of the time, since the doctors gave her medication." Mom said. I nodded and lay back on the pillows.

"Mom, if we don't get out of the hospital soon, does this mean we won't be able to register on Friday?" I asked softly.

"Clare, if you're not out of the hospital by then, I will go to the school and register you and Darcy. You guys don't have to be there for this." Mom said. I smiled and sighed.

"Why did you start screaming when Eli left, Clare?" Mom asked curiously.

I glanced over at her and frowned. I wasn't going to tell her what Eli was going to do. Knowing her she would call the cops and have Eli arrested, so I tried my hardest to come up with a really quick lie, but with my luck, I couldn't think of anything decent. I mentally slapped myself, because I used to be so good with lying. Mom didn't do anything to grab my attention though.

"I just… I didn't want him to go…" I whispered.

Mom nodded and she placed a hand over mine. I glanced up at her and she gave me a reassuring smile. I squeezed her hand and groaned out loud and slammed my body back on the bed, and winced, feeling the back of my head come in contact with the pillow behind me. Who knew something so soft could make my head hurt so badly? I rubbed the back of my head and muttered something incoherent under my breath. Mom chuckled and she got up from the chair.

"I'm going to go check on Darcy; I'll be back in a little while." I nodded and watched her leave.

Once she left, my thoughts drifted off to Eli and wondered what he was doing at this very moment…

…

…

…

…

"Eli, you're eating like a starved young boy, calm down, or you'll choke."

I glanced up from my plate and eyed my parents, who looked at me funny and I smiled nervously, my cheeks still full of food. I swallowed hard and coughed a little. Mom poured some more juice into the glass in front of me and I took a few sips of it. She smiled sheepishly at me and I placed the glass down next to my plate.

"So Eli, um, why was Clare in the hospital again?" Dad asked.

I looked up before I could continue eating and licked my bottom lip. Should I tell them what Clare told me? No… I can't just tell my parents, it's not like it's their business anyway…

"She doesn't remember, it's like she remembers what happened before, when she came to visit me, but after that it's a blur." I responded.

They both nodded in unison. I smiled a little and continued eating, practically forcing the food down my throat. I was starving, and the damn hospital food that they served in that nut house wasn't as near as good as my mom's cooking. I finished after a few minutes and chugged the rest of my juice down. Mom giggled and Dad said, "Were you hungry?" I nodded a little and blushed.

"I didn't eat much when I was in that place." I muttered.

"Yeah, we're sorry for sending you to that place Eli. We were so caught up with all the other horrific things you did, that we hadn't realized how much you've changed." Mom said. She reached over and placed a hand over mine and I squeezed it in return. I looked away for a brief moment and checked the time. It's hard to believe that it's a little after five. It'll be dark in about an hour. And, then I can take revenge for Clare… and her sister Darcy as well, even if she and I got off on the wrong foot, I can't just let a girl get hit… I know I'm not one to talk, because I've hit my mom on some occasions, but that was unintentional, I never mean to hit my mother. Nobody deserves to get hit, especially a girl… especially my Clare.

The thought of it made me smirk, and I got up swiftly from the table.

"Eli?" Mom asked.

"I'm going out for a walk, I'll be back in a little while." I responded.

"Oh, wait Eli before you go, I have something for you." Mom said.

She shuffled out of the kitchen and went to rummage in her purse. When mom walked back into the kitchen, she held an envelope in her hand and she handed it to me. I glanced at the front, which had my name written neatly over it. I blinked a few times and glanced up at my mom. "Who's this from?" I asked.

"Um… Bullfrog what did that girl say her name was?" Mom asked.

"I think um… Aiden?"

I narrowed my eyes and tossed the envelope on the table. "I don't want to read it." I muttered.

"Oh come on Eli, at least see what it says, this girl was really desperate when she asked us to give you this letter. It may say something nice. Just read it, please." Mom grabbed the letter and she handed it to me. I sighed and took it. I told them I'll be back later tonight, as I walked to the door and ripped open the envelope. I pulled out the letter and frowned, it was pretty fucking long.

_Dear Eli,_

_I know I'm probably the last person you want to hear about, but you have to give me a chance to explain myself. What happened in the basement earlier today, it was my entire fault, and I'll take the blame for everything. It's just having you as a friend really made me happy, because once everybody finds out that I'm a lesbian, they just run off and scream that I'm going to hell and all that stupid shit. You were the first person in a long time to accept me. I didn't mean to kiss you._

_I have reasons though._

_As crazy and as weird as it sounds, when we were "cuddling" the warmth that I felt really reminded me of my girlfriend, and I got carried away. I didn't really know what I was doing, when I looked into your eyes I saw Ashley. So, I really am sorry about what happened. And, I hope in the near future we can still be friends. When I found out that you weren't going to be in this place anymore, I thought you left because of me, and I wanted to fix the problem._

_Because, I knew deep down that what I did was wrong. I am a lesbian, straight up, but I just got caught up in the moment. Please, don't be mad at me. I don't want it to be really awkward between us, even if… I know deep down you probably won't answer back to me or anything. I really hope you can forgive me Eli, you were a really good friend, and I don't want my stupid moment to ruin it. _

_Your parents told me that you would be able to forgive me because of how much you have changed, so I hope I can take them up on their word… _

_Will you forgive me Eli?_

_Your Friend,_

_Aiden_

_P.S: It's really important to me that you forgive me Eli, I really hope we can stay friends, please, write back. _

I sighed and folded the letter and placed it back in the envelope. I stopped walking minutes ago, only to read this letter, and it made me think. I will write Aiden back, but it won't be for a while. I shoved the envelope in my back pocket and continued walking. I was already a few blocks away from my house, and it was just beginning to get dark. I started walking back, just so I can see if that asshole was around the house.

When I walked back to my house, I kept away from it, just so my parents don't see me. To my surprise that care from earlier, was still parked down the road, and I was starting to think that it was Randal's car, so, out of curiosity, I walked across the street and sprinted down the road. I stood next to the car, looking inside. There was nobody in it, to my dismay. I frowned and after circling the car, I stepped back and sighed softly.

"Like what you see?"

I spun around and narrowed my eyes at the taller man before me.

"I said, do you like what you see?" He asked again.

"No, I think you look like crap." I snapped.

Randal smirked and snorted. He walked up to me and I stepped away from the car, trying to show the slightest bit of fear in my eyes, even though deep down, I was scared shitless. Randal chuckled dangerously and he asked; "What is that you're doing here, snooping around my car like you're going to steal it."

"I don't go for cheap cars." I growled.

"Then tell me, Eli, what the fuck are you doing here?" Randal stepped closer to me, and I could faintly smell the scent of whiskey on his clothes. I tried not to gag. Randal was standing against the hood of his car and he crossed his arms across his chest. I wanted to jump him right there, and wipe that stupid smug smirk off his face. He made me sick. Him, just standing there looking at me like he did nothing wrong. He hurt my Clare, he put her in the hospital, and he's standing here, walking around like nothing went on! Randal's eyebrow quirked up and he smirked again, "Are you here to complain and whine about me putting Clare and Darcy in the hospital, it's not the first time so, why should it matter? Clare's going to get out soon and it will only be a matter of time before I send her back in there, Darcy too. They're both just so useless in life."

My lip twitched and I growled.

I stepped forward, but he held his hand up, stopping me.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you." Randal said.

"Why the hell not?" I asked.

"Because."

I snorted. Nice fucking answer. I ignored his stupid little statement and stepped forward again, practically charging at him. Randal didn't do shit to stop me, and I socked him square in the face, hard enough that I could feel his nose breaking against my knuckles. The blow managed to knock him out, which of course is what I wanted it to do. I looked around quickly and almost sighed in relief when I didn't see anybody around us. I grabbed him by the arms and carried him around the car to the back doors of car. To my surprise it was unlocked, so I shoved him in there. I slammed the door shut, and walked to the driver's side. I opened the door and sat down. The key wasn't in the ignition so I glanced around for them quickly; in the glove compartment, under the seat, even in the back. I bit down on the inside of my cheeks and checked again in the glove compartment, and smiled, pulling the keys out. I shoved them in the keyhole and cranked the car up. I glanced back at Randal and smirked, he was still knocked out. I shifted the gear to drive, and drove off away from the neighborhood, and the town, to a secluded place that I only know about.

…

…

…

…

Approximately an Hour and Forty-Five Minutes Later

I sat there, watching his facial expression as the light I turned on flashed over his face. Randal squeezed his eyes and he slowly opened them. I stood at the end of the metal table, ones that morticians use to burn the bodies. Randal was strapped on it, his eyes searched the room and he focused them directly on me once he spotted me standing before him.

"Where the hell am I?" He shouted.

"You're in a warehouse, far away from the town, where nobody can hear you, or come to your rescue." I explained while I slipped on the elastic gloves that I had pulled from the box on the stand next to me. Randal arched his eyebrow and he struggled to free himself, and I smirked. He wasn't going to succeed, so there wasn't really a point in him trying to free himself.

"No point in trying." I told him softly.

Randal growled and he finally gave in, laying his head back on the table. I stood over him, eyeing him like I were some crazy nut job. I sighed shakily. Right now isn't the time to be getting nervous, so, I turned around and reached for the large box cutter and held it in front of my face, tracing the blade with my fingertip. Randal blinked a few times and he swallowed nervously, something I noticed at the corner of my eye. I glanced down at him and he asked, "What are you going to do?"

"Well, first I'm going to cut your arms, really deep, then I'm going to cut your stomach, chest, arms, and after I'm done listening to your screaming pleas, I'm going to slit your throat to silence you, and then, I'm going to take your body and throw it in the hole I dug up while you were still knocked out." I explained while placing the blade on the table next to his arm, while my hands lay flat on the top and I glanced down at him.

Randal barked out a laugh and I arched my eyebrow. What the fuck can be so damn funny?

"You don't have the guts, you're just a kid!"

The corners of my mouth curled up and I snorted.

"You obviously don't know me that well, I live to watch things suffer… I've killed so many innocent creatures, what makes you think I won't be able to torture you?" I asked quietly.

The softness in my tone made Randal flinch, and I knew I was getting to him. I lifted the blade and placed it against his bare arm, and from starting of his shoulder, I gently traced it down to his arm, creating a thin white line; just like when you scratch yourself and the dead skin creates fine white lines. Randal flinched and I tilted my head to the side, and did it again, only harder, enough to lightly cut the skin. He hissed and I smiled a little. I repeated the action, only I did it much harder, and actually split the skin, and watched as blood poured from his arm and onto the table beneath him. He was screaming, but I was too engrossed in watching the blood pour from his arm that I didn't hear him. I turned his arm from underneath the straps that bind his chest and forearms down, so his wrist was facing me. I glanced down at him for a brief moment and lifted the blade.

"Now you're going to feel the pain Clare felt every time you raped her," I placed the blade against his wrist, "every time you beat her," I placed pressure on the blade and watched as blood started to pool around it, "and every time you treated her like shit," I finally pulled back and smirked, hearing him scream and cry out as the sharp blade split his skin in two and the blood slithered down the sides of his wrist. I made a few more deep incisions before I walked around the table and did the same thing to his other arm, watching him scream and squirm as the pain coursed in his body.

As bad as it sounds, my pants had already began to tighten, just from listening to the man who hurt my girl, scream in agony. To put it point blank obvious, I normally get off by listening to them cry, watch little things suffer; bleed to death, a sadistic creep.

"Had enough?" I asked.

"F-fuck you!" Randal spat. I arched my eyebrow and shrugged. Instead of taking my sweet time in making small cuts on his chest, I practically just jabbed the blade in between his rib cage and pulled down.

He let out a piercings scream as I twisted the blade in his stomach and pulled it out, blood splattered all over the place and looked at the _mess_ I created, a little bit accomplished at my _work_ of _art_.

"Do you think that… killing me will stop everything." Randal spat out. Blood was already spilling from his mouth and I walked around the table and stared down at him.

"I don't think, I know." I corrected him.

"You're going straight to hell you… little brat." Randal's breathing came out in short pants, and I was starting to question how he could still be alive, for the amount of blood that he lost.

"I don't fucking care… I'm doing this for Clare, not for me." I responded.

Before he could say anything, well before I could let him say anything, with a quick stroke of my wrist, the blade cut across his neck, deep and fast, and he started to quickly drown in his own blood.

…

…

…

…

It's been a long time since I saw Eli, and I was beginning to get really worried. Every time the door to my room opened, I would get really excited and my heart would practically leap out of my chest, but I would just sigh, when I realized it was either my mom, or a nurse. I've been sitting here staring at the wall now for a little over four hours. I haven't eaten since this morning; I haven't spoken since my mom left to go check on Darcy.

I was starting to make myself believe that something horrible happened to Eli…

That my father got to him…

That he killed Eli…

The very thought brought tears to my eyes and I clenched my hands, forming them into fists.

Eli…

"Clare."

I glanced up and gasped. There he stood, looking better than ever, but the sadness in his eyes threw me off. I sat up in the bed and Eli moved to me. He stood next to the bed, and then crawled on it. Eli's body curled up against mine and he laid his head on my chest. I wrapped my arms around him, and ran my fingers in his slightly damp hair. He didn't smell of blood, or dirt, or anything morbid of the matter, but he smelled clean, as if he didn't do anything. Eli clenched my side and he sighed shakily. I leaned down and pressed my lips on the top of his head.

"Is he—?

"He's dead…"

End of Chapter 32

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Did it suck?

Reviews?


	33. the end

Disclaimer: Degrassi is something I don't own, sadly… I do own Eli's five year old cousin though, Maureen.

A/N: Well, I may have been kidding when I said that I was going to end Alibis in chapter 36, it's finally coming to an end, and right now, I really cannot thank any of you guys enough. This story has been my favorite to update since it was published. I really didn't think that it would reach over 1,000 reviews. Since the moment I became a fan fiction author, I really didn't know that any of my stories will reach 1,000 reviews, or even over the limit. So, one of my goals has been accomplished in life. Ha ha. I know weird… anyway.

**PunkKity;** even though you no longer read this, you are my 1st reviewer, so you definitely deserve a spot in this thank you note.

**AR-Red;** you are my 1,000th reviewer. Congratulations.

**Heatherpoulette;** I always loved your reviews for this story. You always left the "annoying" questions that I always loved to answer in my head, but in the end I would tell you that you will have to wait until the story progresses so you can find out. Your reviews are great!

**CrystalNight1;** you started reviewing later on in the chapters, and you went back and started reviewing almost every other chapter from the beginning. This really made my day, and you are probably the only person that actually did this, and that's probably the most amazing thing that anybody could ever do. Your reviews always make me smile, because I know that once I post, even if it takes you a day or two, you will always leave such a long review, and I know it will be a happy one. Thank you!

**empty-suitcase & thesidkidd;** thank you for being one of my beta-readers, even though I didn't use you for long (as bad as that sounds) you still helped me with this story.

**We-will-not-fall-down;** I don't even know where to start man. You are the first person to start reading this story and review almost every single chapter. Your reviews are really amazing. Even if they started out small, I still enjoyed reading them.

**Eclarerocks;** ohhh, you should know what I'm going to tell you! Your reviews, SERIOUSLY always made me laugh, especially the review for chapter 31, it was WAY long, but so funny. Without your reviews, I probably would've died of non-happiness.

**Clareandeli4eva;** teehee, I always enjoy our small conversations on yahoo after you read the update. Even if the updates gross you out or something, you always have something good to say, and then we would trail off and start talking about how sexy and amazing Munro Chambers is, and if you haven't forgotten, the character plots we chose for when Alibis is great enough to become a movie ;) In the end, you really have been such a good critic for this story, and you always reassured me when I thought I did horribly on the chapter. Thank you so much!

**EliGold-49;** I don't even know where to begin, hm. I don't remember if it was you or not… was plenty of other people, buuuut, yeah. I'm pretty sure you were one of the people that has mentioned to me that I inspired you to write dark stories, if it wasn't you… then sorry for putting you out in the spot light haha. Either way, you still get a thank you because I know you've been reading this story, and it means a lot, it truly does.

To all of you other people, who review, thank you again really! Without you people, yes, you rabid fan girls are included, I would be nothing! I really do want to thank everyone who has come up to me and told me that I have inspired you to write, and asked me to help with your stories, even though I suck at giving critique… Like you guys have NO idea how much your review meant to me. I really do appreciate it! *cries tears of joy* Well, here you guys are, something fantastic to read, and finally, **the ending of Alibis.**

Warnings: Romance

* * *

Alibis

Summary: Waiting for change to lead him down a more innocent path, death obsessed Elijah Goldsworthy finds it in a blue eyed beauty, but perhaps with an even darker past than his own.

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CHAPTER 33

(Four Days Later)

"Does it still hurt?"

"Just a little bit…"

"That's good."

Silence.

"Are you sure you want to do this?"

"I love you, Eli. I'm sure."

"I just don't want you to feel weird with me… you've been really weird with me since… since I told you that I killed your father…"

"Eli, I told you, I'm not weirded out about it. I don't care, I'm glad you did it, otherwise if you didn't, I probably would've done it myself."

"…o-okay."

"Can we… you know—

"I just have to know one thing."

"Okay, what's on your mind?"

"You said… you won't call the cops on me, right…?"

"Eli, I said I won't, and I won't tell anybody what happened, I promise you I won't. Even though it's a really big secret that might come back to haunt you, and both of us for the matter, it is staying between us. I would never do anything to hurt you, and I promise I won't hold this over your head. You did this for me… you put the man that hurts me and my family to rest, finally, and I'm grateful for what you've done. I love you Eli. Nobody has ever done something so huge for me before…"

"I love you too Clare and I'm glad that… we're finally actually talking about this."

"I'm glad too."

"I really do love you Clare… You saved me so many times. I've waited for such a long time to find some sort of change, and you did this for me… you changed me Clare. I'm a whole different person because of you. Without you, I would be nothing… you're my light, my life, my everything… I don't think I could live without you."

Silence.

"I love you Clare Edwards… so much that it scares me, but… I'm going to put all my fears aside, and we will have the most amazing relationship. I can't say that we will be perfect, that things won't be broken, but… I swear I will do anything and everything to make you happy. I will never do anything to harm you, emotionally or physically, I will keep you the happiest girl alive. You're my saving grace Clare, and I will never leave you, and I hope… you will never leave me."

Clare smiled, wide, tears streaming down her cheeks.

"Oh Eli…"

Her lips came crashing over mine. And, we kissed. The kiss was really intense, slow – soft, but intense. I moved my mouth with hers, and towered my body over her fragile one that lay beneath mine on the bed in my room. I kept my hands on either side of her head, holding my body up so I wouldn't crush her. But, Clare decided otherwise and she wrapped her arms around my shoulders and pulled me to her. She gasped and tore her mouth away from mine. We both breathed heavily through our slightly parted lips. I looked deeply into her eyes and smiled, wondering how exactly is it, that I'm so lucky to have this beautiful – amazing girl. Clare smiled a little and she leaned up and kissed my jawline. I tilted my head to the side, giving her more room and I let out a small throaty moan when she sucked on the skin just below my ear. Clare's soft lips danced around my neck. She occasionally alternated between sucking, licking, biting and nibbling, and the very sensation drove me over the edge. I cupped her cheek and lifted her chin up. She chewed on her bottom lip and I swooped down and sucked it between my teeth. Clare moaned and as I chewed softly on her bottom lip, and then traced it with my tongue.

She breathed heavily.

I kissed her forehead, and my lips skipped down to her neck where I open mouth kissed her flesh, feeling it twitch against my lips.

Clare moaned in her throat and arched her back just slightly. I left a trail of wet kisses on her bare shoulders, since she was wearing a thin strap shirt, it made this slightly easier, and the jacket that she was wearing previously had been discarded hours ago, so that was an added bonus. I kissed my way down her arm, lifting it in the process as I moved away from her and ended up sitting on my knees. Through half lidded eyes, Clare watched me. I held her wrist against my mouth as I kissed the scars there, something I always did, and always enjoyed to do. Clare smiled a little and she licked her lips. I kissed her palms, her fingertips, and lastly her knuckles. I placed her arm back on the bed, next to her side, and took her other arm, and repeated the process. The smallest whimpers escaped her throat and I found that to be very arousing. Clare leaned up and she pulled me down for a kissing. Her mouth danced over mine, and she swiped her tongue along my bottom lip.

I kissed her back with the same amount of heart burning passion and gripped her hips as I lay on top of her. Clare moaned and wrapped her hands around my neck, her fingers lacing through the hair on the back of my neck and she tugged on the roots. I moaned in her mouth and moved my hands up to her waist, and then to her sides, just beside her breasts. Clare's back arched into me and I pulled my mouth away and we both stared into each other's eyes.

"Eli, will you… will you um – can you touch me?" Clare looked away, and a blush crept upon her cheeks and I smiled a little. I kissed her again and moved my hands onto her breasts and gave them a gentle squeeze through her shirt.

She moaned and tilted her head back, causing her to break the kiss.

With one hand, I gently massaged her through her shirt, while the other, I reached down and fixed the problem in my jeans, as I tried to get comfortable. But, the tight constraint of my skinny jeans was painful, and I don't think any amount of fixing would do me any good. Clare moved and brought me back down to earth, since I dozed off, and she pulled her shirt over her head, revealing her bare breasts to me. I couldn't help it, but my eyes went straight down to her naked chest, but I still knew that she was blushing. She grabbed my hand and placed it over her left breast and squeezed her hand over mine. Clare let go and she reached up and threaded her fingers in my hair and she pushed my head down so I could kiss her again.

I groped her again, occasionally rubbing my thumb around her nipple while my free hand touched her neglected breast.

"E-Eli."

I moaned in response and leaned down, taking her nipple in my mouth and instantly began sucking and licking the hardened piece of pink flesh. Clare breathed heavily, her chest heaved as I continued to tease her nipples. Clare bit her bottom lip, trying to silence herself but I wanted to hear her, so I kissed down her stomach and sucked on the place just below her belly button and then swirled my tongue in her navel. Clare whimpered and she squeaked when I softly bit down on her hip bone. Her hips thrust up and I did the same to her other hip bone, only after I bit it, I sucked hard on it, giving her a hickey. Clare moaned, whined, and whimpered; her fingers reached up and she clenched the hair on the back of my head. I licked the love bite and placed a kiss over the bright red mark. I placed my chin on her stomach and glanced up at her. We locked eyes and she smiled a little at me. She moved her finger in a "come hither" motion and I smiled and crawled up her body.

She kissed me and her fingers pulled on the hem of my shirt. I pulled away only to remove it and I tossed it to the side. Clare's hands moved up and down my bare chest and she traced the faded scars on my forearms, my biceps, wrists, and chest. Clare leaned up and she placed a small kiss on the middle of my chest. While her open mouth kissed my flesh, her small hand reached to the front of my jeans and she stroked my cock gently. I moaned and absentmindedly thrust into her hand. Clare's hand moved slowly back and forth and she squeezed gently.

"Mmm, Clare…" I breathed.

"Is this okay? Do you like this?" She asked timidly.

I nodded and moaned again when she squeezed my cock again. Clare moved and she flipped us over, so I was on my back staring up at her. Her nimble fingers slowly started to unbutton my jeans. When the button snapped open, I watched her slowly reach for the zipper and she pulled it down. Clare bit her lip in concentration and I did the same, only from anticipation. I lifted my hips as she pulled my pants down, along with my boxers, just enough to free my cock. My eyes scanned her naked upper body and her face turned bright red as she looked away hesitantly reached up and wrapped her fingers around my cock, and stroked me gently. I let the sensation wash over me and I moaned softly. Clare gripped my cock tighter and I thrust my hips up each time she moved her fist down. She accidently twisted her hand and I moaned loud.

"Did you like that?" Clare asked.

"Yes." I breathed.

Clare's strokes grew fast and harder and I couldn't control the moans escaping my lips as I squeezed my eyes shut. Clare moved and I slowly opened them to see her face inching closer to my cock. Her lips wrapped around the tip and she gave a small tentative suck. I gasped and my eyes clamped back shut. Clare moved her mouth over me and she stroked what wasn't in her mouth. She licked me all over, and when she looked up at me with an innocent glance, I let out an uncontrollably loud moan and Clare pulled back and blushed as I spilled all over her hand. My hips jerked a little and she reached over and grabbed my shirt and wiped her hand. I slowly opened my eyes and smiled a little as I breathed heavily. I reached up and placed my hand on her side and stroked her soft skin. Clare smiled a little and she moaned when I reached up and touched her breast.

I leaned up and kissed her and removed my pants but pulled my boxers back up. Clare moved me on top of her and I smoothed my hand down her waist and onto the button of her jeans. She whimpered as I unbuttoned them and pulled the zipper down. I was moving a little fast so I broke the kiss and asked, "Is this okay? Do you want me to stop?" Clare quickly shook her hand and grabbed my face and forced her lips over mine. I moved my hand into her pants and massaged her already wet flesh through her panties. Clare squirmed beneath me and I pulled my head back and watched her face as I pushed her panties to the side and slipped my middle finger inside her. She clamped her eyes shut and opened her mouth and she let out a small moan. I pumped my finger in and out slowly and added another, moving them in wave like motion, brushing them against that one spot deep inside her.

"Ohh, Eli! Eli!" Clare moaned.

I swooped down and kissed her neck a few times while I plunged my fingers in and out faster and harder.

It was a little hard for me, because she still hand her pants on, but I managed. Clare leaned up and she kissed my neck and moaned against my flesh. I stifled a moan when she bit down on my flesh, and I pushed my fingers deeper inside her, listening to her moaning, enjoying the fact that I can get her to scream for me. Her inner walls started to clench and unclench around my fingers and I pulled them out, causing her to whimper from the loss and her hips arched off the bed. She whimpered, "Why did you stop? Eli, it feels like I'm burning, please—continue!"

"Clare, I want to try something, do you trust me?" I asked, gazing into her dilated blue eyes. She was hesitant at first, but she nodded. I kissed her forehead and pulled her pants down. Clare swallowed hard and I removed her panties as well. This wouldn't be the first time I've seen her naked, but actually looking at her most intimate spot, made my cock hard again. I caressed her naked thighs and moved so my head was between her legs. I wrapped my arms through her bent legs and placed my hands on her inner thighs, keeping them open for me. Clare whimpered and I glanced up at her before I moved my head back down and placed a kiss on the wet, sensitive bundle of nerves. Clare's hips jerked a little and I slowly passed my tongue up and down in between her velvety folds and flicked the tip of my tongue over her swollen clit. Clare whimpered again and she gasped. I moaned against her flesh when I thrust my tongue inside her, tasting her. I tilted my head to the side and sucked on her folds, tugging gently on them. Clare arched her back and reached up to clench my hair in her hand. I went back to moving my tongue inside her and flickered it in place.

"E-Eli, oh my god, Eli!" Clare cried out.

I pulled away only to place small kisses on her inner thighs and sucked on the flesh there. Clare whimpered from the loss and she arched her hips up trying to get me to continue. I complied and sucked on her clit while I unwrapped my arm from around her thigh and pushed my index and middle finger inside her. Clare breathed heavily and arched her back deliciously as I continued the pleasurable torment on her clit – sucking, nibbling and licking tortuously slow. I plunged my fingers in and out of her and licked her clit faster, trying to get her to come for me. I glanced up at her and our eyes locked; I kept looking at her as I sucked hard on her clit and curled my fingers. That alone made Clare cry out in pure bliss and her fluids pooled around my fingers. I pulled away and rubbed her wet clit, helping her ride out her intense orgasm. Her body shook as I kissed my way up to her lips.

Clare moaned when my cock pressed against her and my breath hitched.

"Eli, please… now." She whispered.

I nodded and removed my boxers and reached over in the nightstand and pulled a condom out. Clare took it from my hand and I began to protest but she had already ripped the wrapper open and pulled it out. She pushed me to my back and I blushed lightly as she rolled it on over my length. Clare lay on her back and she motioned me to move on top of her. I resumed my position over her and kept my body weight off her, so I wouldn't crush her. I nudged her legs apart and placed my hands on either side of her head as I pushed into her. Clare smiled a little and I thrust all the way in. Clare wrapped her legs around my waist and we both moaned as I moved much deeper inside her.

"Eli, move…" Clare gasped.

I flipped us over and moaned as she kept her body close to me and she moved her hips. I reached up and cradled her breasts in my hands as she thrust her hips back and forth, her back arched, and she thrust her head back. I massaged her breasts and moved with her. She moaned and moved away from me. I gripped her hips and watched as she guided her own body up and down over my cock. I closed my eyes and breathed heavily, slightly jerking my hips up to meet her own thrusts. Clare gasped and placed her hands on my abdomen and thrust her hips back and forth faster and harder. I moaned and sat up so she was in my lap. Her legs wrapped around me and I moved my hands from her hips to her ass, and grabbed her flesh. Clare blushed but she moaned loud when I jerked my hips up hard.

"Ohh, Eli, d-do that again!"

"What," I smirked and kissed her neck; "this?" I jerked my hips up and she let out a huge moan.

"Yes! That!" She cried out.

I continued doing this, until I felt her body begin to shake and her inner walls clenched painfully around my cock. I moaned and thrust my hips faster, trying to get her to come before me. Clare's arms wrapped around my shoulders and I wrapped mine securely around her waist, pulling her naked chests together. Her fingers clenched my shoulder blades and she finally let go, screaming my name. I breathed and moaned, soon falling over the edge with her. I pressed my forehead over her chest and breathed heavily. Clare's chest heaved and she gripped the hair on the back of my head and pulled me back. I glanced up at her and smiled softly as she kissed my lips.

…

…

…

…

One Hour Later.

The Dot

"Are you sure he got the text, Eli?" Clare asked.

"Yes, I'm sure of it. He's probably with Fiona; he seemed pretty tense when he called me after." I said as I continued to write. Clare scratched the back of my neck softly and I placed the pen down on the table we sat at, and glanced down at the letter I wrote back for Aiden. After the incident with Randal I had to take some time off, with Clare, and myself. I needed to get my act together. My parents didn't notice anything different in my behavior, which is good.

Clare kissed my cheek and rubbed my back as I licked the envelope and sealed it shut after putting the folded piece of paper in there. She wrapped her arms around me and I leaned over and kissed her neck.

"Ahem."

I pulled away from her and craned my neck, eyeing Adam standing on the side of the table, and he took a seat in the other side of the boot. Clare and I blushed and laughed nervously at the same time. Adam rolled his eyes and he sighed.

"So, Fiona and I broke up." He groaned.

"Again?" I laughed.

"Yeah, but I'm not worried about it. She was cheating on me anyway. Stupid rich snob." Adam growled.

"Well, let's talk about something more important, like the new school year." Clare joined in. Adam and I groaned in unison and I rolled my eyes. Clare giggled and she turned so she was facing me. She said, "I really can't wait. This is going to be one exciting school year. New friends, maybe, new teachers, and new—

"Drama?" Adam finished.

"That too." Clare said.

I chuckled and wrapped my arm around her shoulders and kissed her hard on the lips.

"The only drama that will occur is the fact that every guy in that school will be so jealous that I have such a beautiful girl as my girlfriend." I smirked at Clare's cute blushing face and she leaned up and kissed my cheek.

"Like me?" Adam muttered.

Clare and I laughed and he soon joined in.

"Look on the bright side Adam; at least you can flirt with my friend Alli now. She asked a lot about you the past few days." Clare said. Adam waggled his eyebrows suggestively and Clare rolled her eyes.

For the next hour, Adam and I told Clare the many things that she should avoid in Degrassi, the people, teachers, everything. But, she had basically threw us off telling us that she was going to be just fine, because she knew what exactly to do with being the new kid. I smirked at her and watched as she talked to Adam, telling him the plan she had formulated a while back. I realized that getting paranoid about everything would be useless, so I just agreed with her. But, that doesn't mean I wasn't going to protect her from the "dangers of Degrassi".

Having Fitz there and a bunch of other Neanderthals, as much as Clare believes she will make it in Degrassi and avoid jackasses at all times, sorry for her, but she's sadly mistaken.

It's going to be one long year, but an adventurous one at that.

"What do you think, Eli?" Clare asked.

"Think of what?"

"Having a movie night after the first day of school, my house, Adam's coming over, and I can invite Alli and we can all have some freedom together." Clare explained.

I glanced over at Adam and he mouthed yes and nodded. I chuckled.

"It sounds great, something I wouldn't miss in the world to be spending time with my girl and my best friend." I leaned over and kissed her cheek.

"Even after the first day of school, you know how it is on the first day of school in Hell High." Adam rubbed the back of his neck and I smirked.

"Well, Clare is going to make my day better, so there's no point in worrying right?" I questioned while moving my arm around her shoulders.

"Point proven." Adam smirked.

Clare smiled and she laced her fingers with mine. "I love you, so much Eli."

She kissed me chastely and I smiled against her lips.

"I love you too Clare, nothing will change that."

**The End**


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